Not Mine to Love

by Skylar Moore

  With both of his hands, he started at the bottom of her spine with long, even strokes moving upward. He was careful not to accidentally touch the sides of her breasts, even though he wondered if they would feel as soft as they looked. Long minutes passed as he savored the feel of her skin under his fingers and admired her hourglass figure and swan neck.

  “This feels so good,” she murmured.

  Encouraged, he gradually increased the pressure to warm up her muscles. It was an odd sensation to touch her and still yearn for her. He moved up to her shoulders and neck and slowly worked out their tension. Beads of sweat ran down his brow and prickled his eyes, and his breathing was heavy.

  “Mmmm, your hands are so strong.”

  Using his fingertips, he kneaded across her entire back in short, round motions over and over again.

  “Mmmm, Matt.” Her breathing picked up, and her chest rose and fell notably. As her eyes were closed, he got to study her hair and face. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

  To finish, he slowly worked his hands up her spine and massaged the muscles on either side of it. She made cute little noises, something between moaning and yawning. Encouraged by her sounds, he continued for several minutes.

  It would have been so easy to turn her around and expose her perfect breasts. Maybe she even wanted him to see and touch them. His thoughts bewildered him. He had to stop this before he went too far. He awkwardly cleared his throat twice before he spoke. “Um, I guess we’re finished. That’s all I got.”

  She looked thoroughly relaxed and was almost asleep. He excused himself to the bathroom, where he splashed his face with cold water multiple times and willed away his inappropriate erection. His desire was clouding his judgment to the point where he even thought that she was coming on to him.

  Why does she have to be so sexy? Even though Jane was in an open relationship with Alec, Matt still didn’t want to lust after someone else’s woman, and he had to stop whatever it was between them before he completely fell for her. Alec was a complete tool, but that was probably what she liked about him. It was for the best that she was with him—it would make it easier for Matt to move on and find a woman who shared his desire for marriage.

  When Matt finally came back out, Jane was asleep, looking young and peaceful. He contemplated sleeping next to her on the bed, but she was still topless, and he decided against it. “Good night, beautiful,” he whispered, and covered her with his blanket.

  He made himself comfortable on the sofa but was too riled up and hot to fall asleep. Tomorrow, his bedsheets would smell like her, and he could fall asleep to her sweet scent. Exhaustion eventually overcame him, and he drifted off.

  The next morning, she was gone.

  Chapter 5

  With the nights growing colder, summer was coming to an end, and Jane sat in her comfy patio chair outside her trailer to soak up the last of the late-summer rays. Thankfully, they had already wrapped all the scenes for the day in the early afternoon.

  She was drinking coffee and reading The Sellout when she heard roaring and shouting. At least ten guys from the crew who also lived on set suddenly appeared in front of her, and Matt took her book out of her hand. “Go get your sneakers, we’re playing Bulldogs.”

  Jane took the book back from him, opened it to a random page, and pretended to read.

  “Chop-chop, Kramer,” Matt said with a low and dangerous voice.

  “I’m reading. You should try it sometime.” Her heart rate sped up. She loved bantering with him.

  Matt mumbled something to the other guys, and before she could register what was happening, they had lifted her with the whole chair, and she shrieked. “Are you crazy? Let me down!”

  “We don’t want you to be late for the game,” Matt said with a wide grin. The guys laughed wholeheartedly while they carried her hundreds of meters to the field behind the studio. She leaned back in her chair and looked up at the sky to hide her smile.

  Other crew members were already stretching by the field. The guys put her down on the muddy ground. “We found a woman,” Matt said, and everyone howled.

  Since playing at least one game of Bulldogs was inevitable now, Jane twisted her hair into a bun and cursed the ballet shoes she wore. The guys all side-eyed her and probably thought she was too girlish for this rough game, but she had grown up with three brothers and had played this game a hundred times. Matt was into tough and outdoorsy girls, and always made fun of Jane’s heels. Not that she was into him, but she wanted to impress him and make him see her in a new light by winning the game.

  Jane’s colleague Donal was selected to be the first bulldog, and everyone else got ready on the opposite side of the field. The aim of the game was to run from one end of the field to the other without getting caught by a bulldog and thereby turning into one yourself. To catch a player, the bulldogs had to hold the player off the ground long enough to be able to say “Bulldog, one, two, three.” The last free player was the winner.

  Donal put mud on his face as war paint, which made everyone laugh, and then he ran toward the players. As Jane sprinted across the field, her ballet shoes got stuck in the sticky mud, and she fell flat into it. She quickly scrambled to her feet and hurried to the home area on the other side of the field. Everyone made it before Donal could catch them. In the next round, Donal caught two guys, and the game got more dangerous.

  Soon, the bulldogs were after Matt, and it took their combined strength to lift him off the ground long enough. After he had been caught, he shouted across the field, “I’m coming for you, Kramer.”

  Her heart raced in her chest at the thought of Matt trying to catch her. All the other bulldogs passed her without batting an eye. She loved that it was clear to everyone that she was off limits in this round. She was only Matt’s to catch. He wasn’t as swift as her, so her plan was to casually get very close to the home base, and then make a quick run for it.

  He approached her like a lion stalking prey. His copper hair was untamed, his beard rough, and dirt covered his muscular arms and legs. His gaze made her nerves jangle. When she was getting close, he leapt forward to grab her, but she made a mad dash for it. She ran as fast as she could, well-aware that he was right behind her.

  She almost made it, but he caught her waist and drew her close until her back pressed into him. From her fall, she was covered in mud from her ponytail to her bare feet, which she now pressed against him as leverage in her struggle. His body smoldered as he bent to her ear. “Not so fast,” he whispered huskily. The warmth of his breath sent shivers through her, and her face flamed red.

  His smell of fresh sweat, soap, and earth was intoxicating, but she had to get away from him and to the home base. She turned and tried to free herself by pushing him away. He only drew her closer in response. His arms were even stronger than she had imagined. She punched his rock-solid chest, but he just grinned. His muscles twitched under her hands, and the cheering and whistling around them got louder and louder.

  Just as she tried to wriggle free again, he grabbed her waist, lifted her effortlessly, and shouted, “Bulldog, one, two, three.” The guys roared and applauded, and he set her down. She avoided his eyes and put her head down in defeat.

  “Okay. Jane is the next bulldog. Get ready, guys,” Donal said.

  “Me?”

  “Yeah. You were the last one to get caught,” Matt said with a sly grin.

  Did he deliberately take his sweet time to lift me? He didn’t have to let me win—I am neither a charity case nor a little girl.

  “Thanks for the game, guys, but I’m heading back now.” She left the field.

  She was walking past the studio when Matt caught up with her. “You forgot your chair and shoes.”

  She snatched the shoes from him, put them on, and walked faster.

  He stopped her in front of her trailer and set the folded chair down. “Are we okay?”

  “I can hold my own, you know.”

  “I saw that,” he said with a big
grin.

  “Did you let me win?”

  “I didn’t, but I’m proud that you won.” He looked at her with puppy eyes. She gave in to a little smile and hated that she couldn’t resist him when he was sweet like this.

  She looked down at herself. Her red T-shirt had a brown crust now, and her blue Capri pants looked even worse. “So, how do I get into the shower without ruining my trailer?”

  He laughed. “You don’t. Come with me.” He led her to the stables that were next to the set, and they greeted and stroked the horses.

  Matt grinned when he got out the hose. She rushed away and kept a safe distance. She knew him too well to trust him with a hose.

  He rinsed the dirt off his sneakers and legs and filled a bucket with water. His eyes shone with mischief while he approached her with the bucket.

  “Oh, no, no, no. Don’t even think about it,” she said, shortly before the cold water hit her in the face. She gasped, wiped her wet hair from her forehead, and blinked through the water dripping down her face. Her skin vibrated, and her heart raced. As much as he annoyed her sometimes, he made her feel alive, and she could always be herself around him. “You’re a dead man, Beattie.”

  They raced each other to the hose. She reached it first, turned the water on, and doused him with high pressure. He tried to snatch the hose away from her, but she held on. As they were fighting for the hose, they both got sprayed and soon were dripping wet, but continued anyway.

  “What’s going on here?” An enraged stableman rushed into the stable toward the wash rack, and Matt immediately turned the water off. It wasn’t until then that she realized what a mess they had made. They had spooked the horses, the threshold was all muddy, and water dripped from the thatched roof behind them.

  “Let’s scram,” Matt whispered, took her by the hand, and started running.

  “Hey!” The steaming horseman ran after them. He probably knew who they were, and the producers would reprimand them tomorrow, but he was furious enough to follow them anyway.

  Jane had a giggling fit while she ran with Matt into the woods behind the stables, and the man followed them unceasingly. They made a tight left turn into heavy brush where it was much darker, and Matt pushed her against the trunk of a dead tree. She gasped when her back hit the branch stubs, and he put his hand softly over her mouth. “Shhh, maybe we can lose him,” he said with his lips against her ear. She nodded, and he removed his hand. When they heard footsteps approaching, his toned body pressed into hers even more, wet clothes against wet clothes, and she held his hips to steady herself. Their breathing was labored, but they tried to suppress it.

  Her stomach fluttered with something she hadn’t felt since her relationship with Harry. She had been madly in love with Harry, which had blinded her and had clouded her judgment. She had been heartbroken and devastated when she had realized he had been cheating on her for years. It had been a somber time that she would never relive. Now, she would never allow her heart to betray her and never lose control again. Her open relationship with Alec involved no expectations or disappointments and protected her from potential love interests.

  Jane ignored the butterflies in her stomach, disregarded her throbbing body, and focused on staying still instead. Finally, the footsteps seemed to get further and further away. Without the sun, it was much colder, and she shivered. Matt noticed it and rubbed her arms. Why does he have to be so cute? She flushed and felt her control slipping.

  She remembered the night she had craved someone’s touch and suggested they give each other massages. He had been so intimidated by her that she wondered if he had ever been with a woman.

  So, to regain control, she sighed, arched her back, and pushed her breasts firmly into him, hoping he could feel her stiff nipples.

  As expected, her move flustered Matt, and he stepped away from her. “Um . . . I think he’s gone.”

  She smirked, but also mourned the loss of contact when the cold washed over her.

  They passed through the heavy brush and took a detour through the forest to avoid the stables. They reached her trailer, and she chuckled when she saw that her pants were not only dirty and wet, but also torn open from thorns and brambles. “I just wanted a quiet afternoon with my book. Look at me now.”

  His eyes gleamed with triumph. “Come on, you liked it. Admit it.”

  “Never,” she said with a big grin, took off her ballet shoes, and unlocked her door.

  He nervously rubbed his hands together. “I’m ordering pizza if you want some.”

  “Thank you, but I’m having dinner with Alec.”

  Disappointment flashed across Matt’s face. “Have a good night.” He disappeared into his trailer across from hers.

  She showered and called Alec to invite him for dinner.

  Chapter 6

  Rust-colored leaves fell outside as they ate lunch at Where the Lion Sleeps. Sunrays illuminated the dark hardwood floor and paled the vintage cinema posters on the walls. Jane was having a Greek salad and a blueberry smoothie, and Matt had ordered his favorite sandwich—roast beef and smoked cheddar. They goofed around and took pictures of her blueberry-stained tongue. The way her lips and tongue played with the straw made his heart race.

  Unusual for this time of year, the sparrows were still searching for insects on the ground outside the café. Matt wanted to go on one last hike before the temperature dropped. He would have liked nothing more than to bring Jane along, but he was afraid it would have seemed too much like a date. She was Alec’s girl, and not what Matt was looking for anyway, but he loved spending time with her nevertheless, and he didn’t want to endanger his friendship with her by seeming to make a move.

  “Please, take some. Please, please, please. It’s much more fun if yours is blue as well.” She batted her lashes and touched his arm.

  He flinched at her touch and moved slightly away from her, but he couldn’t resist the woman with the most beautiful smile he had ever seen. “Okay.” He took a few sips, and she beamed at him when he showed her his blue tongue.

  He studied her as she ate her salad. He should just ask her. It would be like ripping off a Band-Aid. Would you like to accompany me to the Isle of Skye tomorrow? No, too formal. I’m going to the Isle of Skye tomorrow if you want to tag along? No, too casual.

  She interrupted his thoughts. “What is it?”

  “What is what?”

  “You’re thinking very hard about something. What is it?” She knew him well, she really did.

  “I have this trip planned for tomorrow.”

  “Oh, where to?”

  “The Isle of Skye. Um . . . you could come with me if you want. It’s really beautiful, and it’s warm and sunny tomorrow, and it’s only five hours from here.” That had sounded way too eager. He looked down at his sandwich to hide his embarrassment.

  “That’d be lovely. I’ve never been there, and everyone’s gushing over it.”

  Did she just say yes? He could feel a huge grin forming and pressed his lips together to hide it. “Okay, cool,” he said casually.

  They ordered coffee and discussed the details.

  He was thrilled that she was so excited about this trip, and he spent all evening planning it.

  Jane met him at his car at ten in the morning. Well, not exactly his—he had rented it the day before. He usually got a smaller one, but he couldn’t resist the Audi Q7 this time. Not that they would need an SUV or that he could impress Jane with a car, but it boosted his confidence.

  She giggled throughout the drive as they talked about the crew and told each other embarrassing childhood stories. No matter the topic, every conversation with her always broadened his horizons because she was very intellectual and intelligent. They arrived in what felt like minutes.

  They took their backpacks and jackets out of the trunk and followed the gravel path that lead to the fairy pools. Matt couldn’t stop looking at her intriguing hiking outfit—black leggings, a gray wool pullover, and brown leather boots. After a steep an
d rough climb—during which he constantly checked out her ass—they came to a river that they had to cross using stepping stones.

  She studied the full river and hesitated. “The rocks are too far apart for me.”

  “I’ll come back for you.” He took her backpack and crossed the river effortlessly.

  He came back and offered her his hand.

  “I don’t know. I’m afraid I’ll slip and fall. Can we cross it somewhere else?”

  He turned his back toward her and bent his knees. “Hop on.”

  “A piggyback ride? I hope you’re not serious, Beattie.”

  “Come on.”

  “We’ll both fall.”

  He caught her legs, and she screamed as she fell forward onto his back. He took this opportunity to lift her, and she giggled and held on for dear life.

  “Matt, I swear if you drop me—”

  He was on the first stone before she could finish her threats. Keeping his balance was more difficult than he had thought, but he couldn’t admit this in the middle of the river. It took all his strength and concentration, but they made it to the other side. He let her slide off and took a deep breath. Jane was the perfect combination of tough and girly. She could be resilient in pivotal situations, but occasionally also let the man take over. He felt very manly for saving the princess and wiped the sweat from his forehead.

  Her mouth curved in a smile. “Are you implying that I’m heavy?”

  He chuckled. “I think I underestimated the physics of this endeavor.”

  She looked into his eyes and smiled. “It was kind of cool.”

  He smiled, grabbed her backpack, and helped her put it on.

  The ebony rocks of Black Cuillin sprawled before them, and the sun played with Jane’s hair as they walked. The contrast between the rough track and her soft body captivated him. As they drew closer to the first waterfall, the noise increased until it was a deafening roar.