When You Are With Me

by E. L. Todd

  I tried not to growl. “I’m not trying to take her away from you. I just want legal representation so you can’t take her away from me—again.”

  She shook her head slightly and didn’t say anything.

  “That’s your final answer?” I asked incredulously.

  Lydia continued to ignore me.

  “Maybe it’s best if I don’t come over for dinner anymore. I’ll pick her up on my weekends and drop her off.” I wanted to see Abby but I couldn’t deal with this cunt anymore.

  “Maybe that would be best.”

  Chapter Five

  Sean

  I was living in constant paranoia. My eyes were always scanning the environment around me. I searched faces, looking for someone familiar and also deadly. This person intended to kill me. I kept a loaded gun on me at all times so I could kill them first.

  Dying itself isn’t what scared me. When you were gone, everything turned black. There was nothing to be scared of because there was nothing at all. But the part that did scare me was leaving my wife and two beautiful children. I wanted to experience them as much as possible before my life ended—preferably when I was old and gray and my wife still held my hand everywhere we went. And I hoped I died first. I couldn’t live without Scarlet.

  But I wasn’t old and gray yet. I still had a long life ahead of me.

  I wasn’t letting some fucker take it.

  People were catching onto my odd behavior. Skye noticed it quickly but I brushed off her suspicions. Ward knew something was wrong but every time he asked I said everything was just fine. Only Mike knew the truth, and he kept it to himself.

  Clementine was my new secretary and she did a good job. Her only slip up was not letting me know when Scarlet was there. I flipped out on her when I shouldn’t have. She had no idea that anytime Scarlet came to my office I feared something happened at the house. How could she possibly know that? Or how could she know I was unbelievably obsessed with my wife?

  It was clear the person after me only wanted me, not my family. While I was grateful for that, I was still scared. What if I was wrong? If I were, they would have done something by now. The fact they hadn’t was a sign they would be safe. But could I really risk it? I decided my kids were never worth any risk.

  I texted Cayson. Hey. I’d like a word with you.

  He didn’t respond for several minutes, probably wondering what I wanted to talk to him about. Of course, sir. You name the time and place.

  Call me Sean. And can you come to my office please? I didn’t venture out anymore. I didn’t even get lunch. Mike usually got me something. I only went to work and home.

  I can be there in an hour.

  Okay. Don’t tell Skye you’re coming.

  Will do.

  ***

  Cayson walked inside toward the end of the workday. He wore a three-piece suit, reminding me of myself when I started working right out of college. “Take a seat.”

  He did as I asked and kept his back perfectly straight. He looked me in the eye without fear.

  That’s why I liked Cayson. Not only was he respectful, polite, and compassionate, but he was also strong. He didn’t drop his gaze in a confrontation and never showed fear. He had two opposing qualities I wanted in the man who spent the rest of his life with my daughter. He could be hard but soft at the same time.

  He waited for me to speak, giving me the floor.

  “I need to tell you something and you have to promise to keep it yourself. You break that promise, you’ll never regain my trust. Do we understand one another?” I didn’t like speaking to him in such a serious sway, but I didn’t have a choice.

  “Yes.”

  “You can’t tell Skye. Do you understand me?”

  “Yes,” he repeated.

  Cayson seemed trustworthy. And he didn’t seem stupid enough to cross me. I knew how much he wanted Skye. He wouldn’t jeopardize that for anything, especially by pissing off her father. “Good. I need you to do something for me.” I opened a drawer and pulled out a gun. I set it on the desk, fully loaded.

  He eyed it and raised an eyebrow. For the first time he didn’t seem completely calm.

  “I need you stay with Skye at her apartment. And I don’t mean spend the night then go back to your place in the morning and get ready for work.” I wasn’t stupid. I knew they were serious and had an adult relationship. Skye was an adult and it was none of my business what she did. But I was grateful she did whatever she did with a man I respected and had my approval. “I need you to bring your stuff over there and stay there all the time. Day and night. To simplify it, you live there now.”

  “Okay. May I ask why?”

  “I’m not done.”

  He kept his jaw shut.

  “I need you to walk her to work every morning, take her to lunch every day, and pick her up every day. She doesn’t leave your sight for any reason.”

  “What if she wants to go out with Trinity?”

  “Then you’re tagging along.”

  He rested his hands in his lap. “Sean, should I be worried?”

  “No.”

  He eyed the gun again. “It seems like I should be…”

  This wasn’t easy to say. It would never be easy to say. “Someone is after me. They want to kill me. I have no idea why.”

  He took a deep breath and fear came over his face.

  “It’s been going on for a while now,” I said without emotion. “They came to my house once, and they tried to get me when I was getting into my car. It’s clear they don’t have any interest in my wife or kids. If they did, they would have had them already. But, it makes me feel better knowing someone is looking after them. I’ve hired a private agent to look after Roland. I would have done the same for Skye but I knew you would notice some strange guy following her around everywhere.”

  “I would have,” he agreed.

  “So, I want you to watch my daughter.”

  He massaged his knuckles while he sighed. “Sean, I’m scared.”

  Was he serious? “You’re too scared to protect my daughter?”

  “No.” He shook his head vigorously. “I’m scared for you. Is there something we can do? There’s got to be something.”

  Now I understood. “No. The FBI has been informed and I have access to military backup at a moment’s notice. I have everything I need, including a loaded gun everywhere I go. I have an alarm system on the house and an elite of guards on the property. I’m as protected as I possibly can be.”

  He nodded. “You don’t know who it is?”

  “I wish I did.”

  “And you really think Skye is in no danger?”

  “Yes,” I said. “If she were, I’d ship her and the rest of my family off to Germany so they could live in an underground fortress. But, I’d rather be cautious. Do you think you can handle this?”

  “Yes,” he said without hesitation. “I’m glad you told me.”

  “You can’t tell Skye. It’ll only scare her.”

  He nodded. “I understand.”

  I handed him the gun. “The safety is on.”

  “Okay.”

  “Do you know how to handle a gun?”

  “Yes.” He shoved it into the back of his pants so his jacket covered it.

  We sat in silence for a long time.

  “How’s Scarlet handling this?”

  “She’s a strong woman,” I said. “She’s been my rock through the entire thing.”

  “Does anyone else know?”

  “All my closest friends and family,” I said. “They’re there for me. But I want to keep the kids out of it.”

  He leaned forward then rested his face in his hands for a moment. Then he took a deep breath.

  “Everything alright?”

  He stood up then lowered his hands. Then he came around the desk and hugged me tightly. “Please don’t let them get you. You’re like a dad to me.”

  His words touched me. They moved through my armor and penetrated me right in the heart. �
�I’ll do my best, Cayson.”

  He pulled away then took a deep breath. “I promise…” He cleared his throat. “I promise I’ll take care of Skye if you…” He didn’t finish the sentence.

  “I know, son.” I gripped his shoulder. “I already knew that.”

  ***

  As soon as I walked in the door, I reset the alarm. Being home was the only place I felt safe. My guards were outside, my windows were bulletproof, and I had an alarm system that would alert the cops the second someone tried to enter the house.

  And my wife was here.

  She came out of the kitchen wearing another ridiculous apron I got her. This one had sharks on it. “Hello, honey. I’m glad you’re home.” She wrapped her arms around me and gave me a sensual kiss like usual. Her hands moved to my shoulders and she pushed my jacket off. Then she grabbed it and placed it on the rack. “Did you have a good day?”

  I didn’t mention my conversation with Cayson. “Yeah.” I never had a good day anymore. Constantly wondering if someone was going to kill you wasn’t the best way to live.

  Scarlet knew what my answer really meant but she didn’t press me on it. “I hope you’re hungry. I made steak and potatoes.”

  “That sounds great.” I wasn’t hungry. I was never hungry anymore.

  Scarlet tried to keep our lives as normal as possible. She did a good job of making me calm, and she even made me forget about it sometimes, mainly when we were making love. But she couldn’t make me forget all my troubles. “Sit down.” She guided me to a chair then rubbed my shoulders. I leaned forward and let her get deep into the muscle. “You’re more tense than usual.”

  “That’s because I’m ripped, baby.” I thought making a joke would ease the tension. It didn’t.

  Scarlet abandoned her attempt and poured me a glass of wine. “It’s your favorite.”

  “Thank you.” I took a long drink but didn’t really taste it.

  We sat across from each other and ate quietly. Scarlet chewed small pieces and made so little noise it was like she wasn’t even there. I forced myself to eat the food my wife prepared for me. She made a home for me, cooked me dinner, and cleaned the house and did my laundry. I didn’t want her to ever feel like I didn’t appreciate her.

  “We’re having company tonight,” she said.

  That caught my attention. “We are?”

  “I think you need to socialize a bit—be around your family.”

  “I just want to be alone.” My true colors came out. The depression leaked from my pores. I tried to keep a brave face so I wouldn’t scare Scarlet. But I couldn’t hide it anymore. “Tell them not to come. I don’t want to…talk.”

  She stopped eating and just stared at me.

  “I mean it. Call them or I will.”

  “You need to be around people who love you.”

  “No,” I snapped. “I’m a fucking magnet. Anything that gets too close to me will be shot or killed.” I lost my temper and knocked the plates and wine over. Then I left the table, feeling my hands shake in stress and anger. I couldn’t bottle it up anymore. Death was lurking around every corner. Not knowing when or how it would come was the worst part.

  I headed up the stairs sand retreated into the shower. The falling water muffled out all other sound. I couldn’t even hear myself breathe. It’s what I needed, something that would calm me. I closed my eyes and tried to think empty thoughts, soothing thoughts.

  The door opened and Scarlet joined me. Even her naked body couldn’t arouse me right now.

  She came to me then wrapped her arms around my neck. “Look at me.”

  I stared at her chest as it pressed against mine. I loved her tits. They always got me going. But right now, they didn’t do anything for me.

  “Look at me, Sean.” She kept her voice gentle.

  I finally did as she asked. I looked into her blue eyes, staring at the endless depth. I stared into my wife’s eyes countless times, and sometimes if I looked hard enough, I could see my own soul within. Sometimes I wondered if she could see the same thing in my eyes. Is that why she wanted me to look at her?

  “It’s okay to be scared,” she said. “It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to be depressed. That’s all okay, Sean. But it’s not okay to push me away. We’re in this together. Don’t shut me out and pretend to be strong. When you fall apart, I’ll pick you up. It doesn’t always have to be the other way around.”

  “This is my burden,” I said. “I don’t want to drag you down.”

  “Your burden?” she asked. “We’re married, Sean. Your burden is my burden. I will be everything you need me to be. But let me be that for you.”

  “I just don’t want to scare you.”

  “I’m not scared.” She held my gaze as she said it.

  “How can you not be scared? Because your life isn’t on the line?” I shouldn’t have said that. It was a terrible thing to say. I wanted to take it back the second I spoke it. It wasn’t how I felt and I knew it wasn’t true. “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean that.”

  She didn’t react at all. It didn’t seem like she was mad even if I didn’t apologize. “You want to know why I’m not scared?”

  I nodded.

  “Because you and I are meant to be together. What we have is rare and good. No one is going to take that away from us, not this soon. We will survive whatever comes our way because neither one of us will leave this mortal earth without the other.”

  I took a deep breath and took courage from her words. “You think so?”

  “I know so, Sean. And I already know how we die.”

  “You do?”

  She nodded. “We die of old age. We’ll both go to sleep one night, and the next morning, neither one of us will wake up. And we’ll go in peace—together.”

  I tried not to cry. “You have no idea how much I want that.”

  “That’s how it ends,” she said. “It doesn’t end tonight or in the next week.”

  She had no way of knowing that, but for some reason I believed her.

  She cupped my face and kissed me in the corner of each eye. “Now, our friends are coming over and we’re going to have a good time. You will laugh. You will love. And you will be happy.”

  I held her close to me, so grateful she was mine. “You’re the best wife in the world.”

  A teasing grin came over her face. “I know.”

  “How much time do we have?”

  “Enough time to make love in the shower.”

  I finally smiled for the first time in forever. I lifted her from the ground and onto my hips. She wrapped her legs around me like she had countless times. Then I lifted her onto my cock repeatedly.

  Her arms were around my neck and she kissed me as she took me over and over. Neither one of us were trying to finish. We just held each other and cherished one another. Scarlet and I were friends before we were lovers, and I still don’t know how I didn’t realize she was my true love all those years.

  But now I would never forget.

  ***

  “You look like hell,” Ryan said as he sat down at the table. “Like an alligator took a bite of your face and you shoved it back one.”

  I took a drink of my beer. “Thanks, man.”

  “I’m just telling you what’s up,” he said. “Scarlet is going to find a prettier man if you keep this up.”

  “Never.” Scarlet moved to my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck. “There is no prettier man.” She stared at me affectionately then kissed me on the cheek.

  Ryan cringed. “Yuck.”

  Scarlet stuck her tongue out at him. “You’re yuck.”

  Cortland was sitting at the table but he was particularly quiet. It was clear he didn’t want to come over here tonight.

  “Poker?” Mike said. He held up the pack of cards and started to shuffle them.

  “You really want to gamble right now?” Cassandra asked incredulously.

  “Baby, I’m a man,” Mike said. “I always want to gamble.”

&
nbsp; She leaned close to him and lowered her voice. “Talk to Cortland.”

  He didn’t lower his voice. “He clearly doesn’t feel like talking. Leave him alone.”

  If I heard that entire conversation, so did Cortland. I adjusted Scarlet on my lap so she wasn’t directly on my hard-on then looked at Cortland. “Hey, you doing okay?” It was a stupid question but I was never good with the conversations. That was Scarlet’s forte.

  He shrugged. “I’m fine.”

  Ryan clanked his beer against his. “I get why you’re upset but it’s time to let it go.”

  “I agree.” Monnique gave him a pointed look.

  Cortland sighed then messed up his hair with his hand. “I just…didn’t see it coming, you know?”

  We all gave him sympathetic looks. If Skye were in this situation, I wouldn’t know how to handle it. Well, I’d probably track the guy down then beat the shit out of him. But after that, I wouldn’t know what to do.

  “Everyone is excited, Cortland,” Scarlet said. “Especially the kids.”

  “Of course they’re excited,” Cortland blurted. “They don’t know anything.”

  I noticed he had four beers already.

  “Dude.” Ryan clapped his shoulder. “Clemy is a smart girl. She can handle this.”

  “She got knocked up to begin with,” Cortland snapped. “By some guy she hardly knows…she’s my little girl. And now…she’s ruined her life.”

  “She hasn’t ruined her life,” Monnique said.

  “Yes, she has,” Cortland said. “She’s so young and now she’s going to be a single mom. She threw her dreams out the window and she doesn’t even have a husband. Does she realize how hard this is going to be? She’s raising a kid all by herself.”

  “She’s not alone,” I said. “She’s got all of us. And the kids are there for her too.”

  “And Cayson seems really excited,” Monnique said. “Clemy will always have her brother.”

  “Well, she’s lucky her brother is a real man like the way I raised him.” Cortland took another drink. “After being raised with Cayson and I, I hoped she would understand what a real man is and look for that in a partner. Why she would want a midnight romp in an alleyway is beyond my understanding.”