The Winter Baby

by Rhonda McKnight

  I entered the room and the infant was on the floor next to Tamar. She wasn’t awake.

  “Tamar!” I fell on the floor next to her. I picked up the baby, wrapped her back up in the sweatshirt we’d swaddled her in and laid her next to me. I shook Tamar a few times and she opened her eyes.

  “I’m tired.”

  My heart was sliced open. I was bleeding too. “I know. You had a baby. You’re supposed to be tired.”

  Tamar smiled weakly. “I finished the videos.” She closed her eyes.

  “Tamar, I need you to listen to me. I need you to look at her. Look at your daughter.” I turned the baby in her direction. “You have to fight. Fight your body. Fight slipping away.”

  She nodded. “I am. I’m fighting.”

  I lowered my head to her chest and listened to the beat of it. “Fight harder.”

  I heard the door to the church open. I closed my eyes and said a silent prayer.

  Please let him have good news.

  I jumped up and met him in the sanctuary.

  Chapter Twenty

  Clyde

  “No phone signals.”

  I handed Kim more clothes for Tamar. I entered the room where Tamar was lying and opened the suitcase I’d brought back with me. It was full of tree branches. “They’re damp, but they might not take long to dry.”

  Despite our frugality, the stack of wood was almost gone. We only had enough for a low fire for a few more hours. The irony, we were surrounded by trees and barely had wood.

  “Don’t worry. I’ll start burning furniture before I let this fire go out,” Kim said.

  I stepped back out the room and signaled Kim to join me.

  “I’m going to have to go try to get some help.”

  “It’s so cold and you’re already freezing.”

  “I know, but she can’t stay here. You see what I see. She’s bleeding out.”

  “But if you leave and something happens to you and then something happens to her, I’m alone here with her and the baby.”

  I took her hands. “Shhh...stop panicking. I can’t sit here and watch her bleed. I’m not a guy who waits. You’re brave. Remember that. So is Tamar.”

  Kim wrapped her arms around my neck and squeezed. I closed my eyes and took in every inch of the comfort she offered me. “Let me at least warm up some hot water for you. Take off your coat for a minute.”

  I needed to use the restroom anyway, so I did as told and waited for her to bring the water back. She also had a plate of beans.

  “I hate beans.”

  “You need protein.”

  I ate a few bites because she insisted and drank the water before putting my coat on again.

  “It hasn’t even been ten minutes. You’re still cold. You won’t get far if you don’t defrost yourself.”

  “I’m strong. I’ll be okay. And you’ll pray for me, right?”

  She nodded. A tear fell down her cheek and she raised a hand to wipe it. “Right.”

  “Stay close to Tamar. You both need each other’s body heat.” Kim nodded and followed me to the door. I paused for a moment. “I have to tell you something.” I hesitated again. “I’m sorry about everything. I could have done better. Been better.”

  “Tamar made videos for her family and now you’re saying things you had no intention of saying earlier.” She sucked in a heavy breath and released it. “You’re scaring me.”

  I raised my hands to her face, stepped to her, and kissed her lips. “I’m not trying to scare you, but I want you to know...I love you.”

  She wrapped her arms around my neck again. “I love you too.”

  “We’re going to make this right between us.”

  She pressed her head deeper into my chest. “First, you have to make it back here.”

  I peeled her off me and with firm conviction promised, “I will.”

  I opened the door and stepped out into the cold again. I took a deep breath and looked up at the sky. Snow drifted down in a slow lazy pattern of flakes and landed on my face.

  “God, I’ve been avoiding you for years, but you’ve shown yourself to me over and over again today. Even this place, this church is evidence that you’re taking care of us.” I swallowed, closed my eyes, and reopened them. “I know people do this all the time, but you’re supposed to know everything. You’re supposed to know my heart, so you know this promise is real. If you save her, I’ll serve you for the rest of my life.”

  I reached into my pocket for the note I’d written earlier. “That is if I have one.” I used the packing tape I’d tucked in my pocket to tape the note down on the front of my jacket.

  My name is Clyde Stowe. My friends and I got stranded in the storm.

  My friends are in North Bethlehem Church. Please call an ambulance and rescue them.

  I walked down the steps and prayed no one would find my body, but if they did, they would help the women I loved.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Pastor Jack

  The matriarch of the Nelson family left her earthly body. It was beautiful to see a long-suffering servant of the Lord, enter his grace without fear. Peace in death was a blessing.

  Pastor Jack hoped he left the earth the same way. He’d lived many good years with Nan and Abel serving the Lord, but what would he do if he lost his church? He’d retired from his job last year.

  The truck swerved on a slick patch and he slowed his speed. He was glad to be going home. The temperature had dropped below twenty degrees. All this snow would be a sheet of ice in the morning. He made the turn on Judea Road and caught sight of the church in the distance. His heart ached for what was to become of it. As he got closer, he saw a light in his study. He didn’t remember turning it on earlier, but he must have. He groaned. The last thing he wanted to do was stop. It was freezing. The power company was going to turn off the electricity in a few days anyway.

  Didn’t you ask for a miracle?

  He heard the Holy Spirit and chastised himself for losing hope.

  There’s a reward for stewardship. The words slipped into his mind. He’d preached them too many times to leave that light on. Before he could make the turn to go up the driveway, he caught sight of something in the road ahead. He squinted. Was it an animal? He dismissed the thought. Unless it was a bear, there was nothing out here that would walk upright like that. And the bears were hibernating for the winter. Slowly, he drove toward it. As he got closer, he realized it was a man. The headlights from the truck must have blinded him. The man raised his hands over his eyes. He staggered and fell.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Clyde

  “We’re going to make this right between us.”

  “God, I promise. I’ll serve you for the rest of my life.”

  Kim’s smile entered my mind. Her words skittered through in a crowded symphony of “I love you - cold hands, warm heart - This relationship was a mistake.”

  Stephen’s voice was next. “I’m praying for you.”

  I let him down. All he asked me to do was drive Tamar. I was supposed to take care of his wife. I should have known the detour was too far off. I tried to clench my fist, but it hurt. My fingertips were frozen inside the mittens. Tamar’s mittens. I closed my eyes. “I’m sorry, Stephen.”

  My mother’s face replaced Stephen’s.

  My mother closed and taped the box that held her Bible collection and put it onto the pile with the other boxes she’d packed. “I’m leaving in the morning.”

  An alarm rang in my heart. “By yourself?”

  She cocked a head in my direction and put a hand on her hip. “Do I have a man?”

  I smirked. “You have me.”

  “And you, my son, have your own life.”

  “Mom, we can drive down together – after my interview.”

  “That’s three days from now. I want to get settled in my place and learn my new neighborhood a little before I have to start work.”

  I fought to keep my eyes open. I was so cold I felt like I was on fi
re. It was strange being cold and burning at the same time.

  “I’ve never had much,” my mother said. “The only legacy I can give you is your faith. Promise me, you’ll attend church. It’s important.”

  “I promise.”

  I hadn’t kept that promise. I stepped in churches for weddings and funerals. My mother was standing in front of me. I reached out to touch her, but she disappeared in the snow. “I’m sorry, Mom.”

  I could still hear her. “Clyde, you need to be in the building, but first and foremost, church is someplace you go in your heart.”

  I wrenched my body around to find her. She wasn’t behind me. Where was she?

  “Go in your heart,” echoed like it was floating on the wind.

  Kim and Tamar’s faces entered my mind again. I was hallucinating. I fought to stay on my feet. I was almost there. Only about a quarter mile to go.

  A bright light blinded me. The light that came to take you to the other side. I slipped and fell. I didn’t have the strength to get back up. It was better that I was out here anyway. Someone would drive by tomorrow and find me. They would see the note.

  “God, save them. Forgive my sins.”

  I surrendered to the cold.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Pastor Jack

  He was nearly frozen to death.

  His lips were blue and covered in ice. He was trying to speak.

  “Don’t say anything.” Pastor Jack turned on the heat full blast.

  “My frieeends,” he whispered. “She’s dying.” He raised a hand to his chest and Pastor Jack noticed the paper taped to him. He turned on the overhead light and read. He looked up at the church and put the car in drive.

  He reached in the glove compartment for his Tracfone. It was the only carrier that got a signal on this part of the road. He called the firehouse and told them he was on the way with people. They dispatched an ambulance.

  “Stay here,” Pastor Jack said. “I’ll get your friends.”

  Before he could reach the door, it flung open.

  “Oh, thank God!” A woman cried.

  “I’m Pastor Jack. This is my church.”

  “I’m Kim. Please help. My friend had a baby.” She ran and he followed her down the stairs to the classroom. She put on boots and a coat and picked up the baby.

  “Is anything else wrong with her?”

  “I don’t know. She’s bleeding.”

  The woman opened her eyes. Jack recognized her. “You’re Tamar Pierce.”

  Tamar nodded.

  Jack smiled. “Your husband has people looking for you.” She smiled weakly. “I’m going to pick you up, okay?”

  She nodded and he pushed his hands under her body and hoisted her up.

  “Would you unplug that heater?” Pastor Jack said.

  Kim pulled the plug and doused the dying fire with water from a few bottles. She grabbed both their handbags, and they left the church.

  Pastor Jack could hear her excitement over seeing the man inside. She held the back door open, but he said, “Get in. I’m going to put her head in your lap.” Kim did as he said, and he put Tamar inside the truck.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Clyde

  “Tamar.” I was trying to say her name, but my lips felt like they were locked. I twisted my body toward the back of the truck. I could see her through the space between the seats. I looked up at Kim. She was crying, holding the baby with one arm, and rubbing Tamar’s head with her free hand.

  I stared at Kim for as long as my stiff neck would allow. Everything on my body ached. I heard phones pinging and chirping in my pocket and from the backseat. We’d entered an area with a signal, and all the missed calls and text messages were coming through.

  I pushed my head against the seat. I knew some of them were from Stephen. I couldn’t reach in my pocket. My fingertips were on fire.

  I felt a tug at my left sleeve. I twisted my neck between the space again. Tamar cracked a weak smile and said, “You did it.” I tried to smile back, but I couldn’t. My cheeks were hurting as much as my fingers. “You’re my hero.” She nodded a few times and closed her eyes.

  I turned back to the front. I glanced at the man next to me. He told me he was Pastor Jack, and that was his church. He must have sensed my stare and glanced at me. “You’re one brave man. And a tough one too. It’s sixteen degrees.”

  I wasn’t brave. I wasn’t tough. But I was smart. Smart enough to know when I’d been part of a miracle. I asked God for one, and he gave it to me.

  I whispered a thank you in my soul. God, I’ll serve you for the rest of my life. I may not have kept my promise to my mother, but the promise I made on this night in Bethlehem, I would keep.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Tamar

  I woke up in a warm bed. In a warm room. My hand was in the warm grasp of my husband’s hand. I saw light enter his eyes. He stood, swept a stray hair off my forehead, and kissed me.

  I cleared my throat and forced my lips open. “I’m alive.”

  Stephen smiled. “Yeah, you did try to leave me though.”

  Hot tears filled my eyes. I felt them slide down the side of my face. “I tried not to.”

  My throat was dry. I coughed a few times. He reached for a cup and put the straw in my mouth so I could take a few sips. He raised a hand to my face and pressed his cheek against the opposite side. “Please don’t ever do that to me again.”

  I raised an arm and wrapped it around his back. I cried. He whispered tender words in my ear. After a minute, he pulled back, and wiped my tears and his. “We’re at the beginning, Tamar Pierce. You owe me at least fifty years.”

  “And I’ll give them to you as soon as I see my baby.”

  Stephen looked at his watch. “She’ll be here in five minutes. They took her for a bath.”

  It occurred to me that I had more than one child. Sometimes, I was still getting used to being a mother. “Where’s Isaiah?”

  He’s with your cousins. They’re having a movie takeover at their house. Whatever that is.”

  “Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s fun.” I looked around at the walls to see if I could get a clue but saw nothing. “What hospital is this?”

  “Bethlehem General.” Stephen’s smile warmed the bland room. “I can’t believe you had our daughter in a church.”

  “During a winter storm with very little heat,” I added. “I thought I would die when my water broke.”

  “I hate I missed it.”

  I pushed the button to raise my bed. “Have you seen the video?”

  “What?” Stephen clapped his hands. “I have a video?”

  I laughed. “On my phone. I made Clyde record. It was a miracle he didn’t faint. He was about to die. I swear.”

  “I know my boy. I can imagine.” Stephen’s eyebrows knit together. “I don’t appreciate him seeing my stuff though.”

  “Men.” I rolled my eyes. “Clyde probably won’t want to touch a woman for five years. He is deeply traumatized.”

  A knock on the door brought a doctor and nurse into the room. “Mrs. Pierce, you’re awake.” The doctor went on the opposite side of the bed from Stephen. She introduced herself and Stephen moved out of the way while the nurse switched the IV bag. “We were very concerned when you first came in. You lost a considerable amount of blood due to a condition called retained placenta. It means a small piece of the placenta did not come out after the delivery.”

  “So, am I going to have to have surgery or something?” Stephen reached for my hand. He pulled my arm up and kissed my clenched fist.

  “Already done. We had to operate immediately.” She shined a light in my eyes and did a few other quick checks during her examination. “We went in, removed the piece that was retained and gave you a blood transfusion.”

  I didn’t like the idea of a blood transfusion, but I couldn’t dwell on it. I was glad to be alive. “How long will I be in here?”

  “Two, maybe three days. We’ll get you home fo
r Christmas.”

  There was another knock at the door. A nurse entered carrying our daughter and my heart leapt. My father and Dell were behind her. The doctor and the nurse with her said their goodbyes and left the room.

  Stephen moved aside so my father could take my hand. He kissed me. “Baby girl, you scared me to death.”

  “I know, Daddy. I think I scared myself.”

  The nurse handed Stephen the baby and after a few seconds of cuddling her, he put her in my arms.

  I greeted my daughter and placed her cheek next to mine. “Where are Clyde and Kim?”

  The door opened again. Kim stepped in backward, turned around and pulled a wheelchair holding Clyde into the room.

  My heart smiled. “You’re going to live a long life. I just asked about you.”

  “I like that prediction,” Clyde said. “Good to see you awake.”

  I hadn’t seen him since our ambulance ride. His face was ruddy from the burns on his cheeks. “How are you?”

  He nodded. “They’ve already discharged me. I have to leave in this chair, but I wanted to come see you first.”

  “You’re my hero.”

  He gave me a thumbs up. “Nothing more than a good workout in the gym.”