Rising Above

by Genevieve Fortin

  “This is it,” Yvonne declared. “This is where our little house used to stand.” She stood in one spot of the beach, opened her arms and slowly pivoted. Ana looked carefully, but there was nothing left of the house Yvonne had described before she decided to show her its site. Ana didn’t know why she’d imagined there would be some sign the small blue home had once been here, but it had completely vanished. She looked at the older woman and smiled with compassion. She smiled back, but the warmth in her eyes had been replaced with sadness. “I don’t want this to happen to the inn. But it will, won’t it? If we don’t move it?”

  Ana nodded. She didn’t want to confirm Yvonne’s fears with words, but she couldn’t lie to her. “Yes, eventually,” she said at last. Yvonne sighed and stood in silence, looking at the empty space around her. Ana understood she was recreating her home in her mind. She could still see it. Miller sat patiently as Ana waited, holding the ball in her hand. When Yvonne finally resumed walking, she threw the ball and the dog ran to fetch it. They took several steps before Ana dared speaking again. “Did the inn sustain any damages in that storm?”

  “Nothing serious, thank god. It’s farther up the beach as you know. Smaller homes that were closer to the water like our house took the biggest hit. The inn got a bit of water in the basement but that’s all. But I’m not stupid. I know the next storm won’t need to be much worse for…” She didn’t finish her thought. They both knew what could happen in the next storm. “Melodie said she’d come to see the land I bought. Maybe I can convince her to do what I’d planned to do.”

  “Maybe.”

  Ana doubted there was any possibility Melodie would ever consider moving the inn away from the beach, but her grandmother knew her better. She hoped she was right.

  “There’s still time, right? She’ll understand it’s the best thing to do sooner or later.”

  “There’s still time, yes. Although it’s hard to estimate how much.”

  “You should talk to her.”

  Ana scoffed. “I think your chances are much better than mine. I have a feeling your granddaughter doesn’t care much for me or for my beliefs.”

  Yvonne slid her arm under hers and insisted, “She’s stubborn and she says whatever goes through her mind, but she’s smart. She’ll understand if you explain it to her. Will you please at least try?”

  Ana glanced at the woman with whom she was now walking arm in arm, and she couldn’t bring herself to say no. “Okay. I’ll try.”

  When they got back to the hotel, Melodie was behind the reception desk holding Thomas and going through a pile of papers that looked like bills. The boy sat in her lap, chewing on a toy giraffe and drooling all over his mother’s hand. “Mrs. Vezina called. She won’t be able to babysit while we go to your doctor appointment tomorrow afternoon, so I guess we’ll have to take him with us.” Melodie spoke to Yvonne as if Ana wasn’t in the room, but she spoke English, so she obviously was aware of her presence. Ana started toward the stairs, but for some reason she wanted to hear the rest of this conversation. Maybe she could help. She crouched down to offer Miller the water that was left in her special bottle and she listened quietly.

  “Don’t be silly. With the waiting time it could take a couple of hours. That’s too much time for a baby to sit in a doctor’s office, even one as good as our Thomas,” Yvonne replied as she hurried to take her jacket off so she could take Thomas in her arms. Melodie grabbed a washcloth from the desk and wiped the boy’s mouth before she dried her own hand. “I can go to my appointment alone. You stay here with him.”

  “No, I’ve already told you I want to be there. I have questions for your doctor and I think it’s important we both hear what she has to say.”

  “How are you going to be able to focus if you have Thomas with you? No, I’ll go alone. It’s better this way.”

  Ana was tempted to suggest she could take Yvonne to her appointment, but finding herself in another doctor’s office to hear about another illness was not something she felt strong enough to do. She didn’t want to be reminded of Constance and it had happened too often already in Yvonne’s presence. Besides, it was Melodie’s place, not hers. “I could stay with Thomas,” she proposed instead, surprising herself as much as the other two women.

  “Oh Ana, it’s nice of you to offer, but we can’t impose. Don’t you have people to see for your research?” Yvonne protested.

  “My first appointment is on Tuesday. I’m free tomorrow.”

  “But do you know anything about babies?” Melodie asked bluntly.

  Although Ana usually found her directness somewhat abrasive, she smiled. She couldn’t blame her for asking. After all, how could Melodie know she’d spent her teenage years taking care of younger kids travelling with Constance’s theatre company? It was true she hadn’t held a baby in almost fifteen years, but she figured she’d remember what to do. “I think I can manage for a few hours.”

  “I don’t doubt you can,” Yvonne replied, apparently embarrassed by her granddaughter’s reaction, “but are you sure you want to?”

  “Absolutely. Thomas and I will have a great time.”

  “Great, that solves the problem then, right?” Yvonne turned to Melodie, whose furrowed brow still showed scepticism. “We could stop by that place I wanted to show you after the appointment.”

  Melodie finally sighed in resignation. “All right then, but I’ll give you my cell phone number. I want you to promise you’ll use it if you have any question at all.”

  “I promise.”

  “Thank you,” she said in a whisper. It seemed it almost hurt her to show gratitude, but when she smiled, Ana was struck by the beauty of her features. It was the first genuine smile she’d seen on her face and it moved her more deeply than a smile should.

  She didn’t know if it was because she appreciated Yvonne so much and couldn’t help but hope their resemblance was more than physical, but it was as if she could suddenly see past Melodie’s bad attitude and frequent rudeness. She realized she was a great mother and a caring granddaughter, and she thought perhaps trying to talk to her about her study and the retreat strategy was not a complete waste of time after all. Besides, she’d promised Yvonne she’d try. So instead of excusing herself and going to her room, she did exactly that. Try. “I read that article you gave me. It was very interesting. You said you wanted to know what I thought about it so would you like to talk now?”

  “I’d love to, but I can’t now. I have to get all this paperwork in order before the accountant comes in the morning. What about tomorrow when we get back?”

  Ana took a look at the pile of papers on the desk and understood that Melodie truly had a lot of work on her plate and was not simply feeding her an excuse to brush her off. She would not have imagined she was responsible for the inn’s paperwork, but she was pleasantly surprised. She was also relieved this laborious task didn’t fall on Yvonne’s shoulders. “Tomorrow will be fine. Good luck with all of this,” she said as she pointed a finger to the desktop.

  Melodie nodded and smiled again before she turned back to the papers in front of her. “I’ll take Thomas so you can focus on what you’re doing,” Yvonne said before she followed Ana to the stairs. “Same time tomorrow morning?”

  “Yes, of course,” Ana replied.

  “Thank you for trying,” she whispered so Melodie couldn’t hear. “I’m sure she’ll listen to you.”

  “We’ll find out,” Ana answered in a low voice. “She seems to learn quickly. She’s already doing the paperwork for the inn, I see.”

  “Oh god, she’s been doing that for years. Ever since she got her degree in administration. I was so happy when she offered to take that task off my hands. I hate desk duties.” She mimicked an exaggerated shudder to express her disgust and Ana chuckled. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

  “Right. See you tomorrow.” Yvonne disappeared down the hall with Thomas in her arms and Miller at her heels. Ana remained alone at the bottom of the stairs, observing a fo
cused Melodie at work. A caring granddaughter indeed, she mused before she finally turned and climbed the stairs.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Take a look at that view,” Yvonne said with enthusiasm, her arms open toward the breathtaking panorama. They were standing on top of the hill and watched as the Saint-Laurent ran furiously at their feet. Their unobstructed view allowed them to see the church and colorful villas in the foreground, the beach, the sea, and the North Coast on the other side, so far away that it could be mistaken for a darker shade of blue sky on the horizon. She couldn’t deny it was a beautiful site. “And the land is big enough to build a large gazebo in the back where people could enjoy the view. We could have flower gardens with stone paths leading to strategically placed benches or picnic tables where guests could watch the sun set. We could even perform weddings. Can you imagine?”

  Melodie tried to picture her grandmother’s plans as her hair hit her face, violently blown by the wind. She used her hands to hold her curls back so she could better admire the imaginary scene Yvonne painted. “It would be amazing, you’re right. But I’m not convinced it would be better than what we have now. A gazebo is wonderful, but does it beat being able to come out of your hotel and finding yourself right on the beach?”

  Yvonne held her arm as they both faced the Saint-Laurent. “It’s not a matter of finding a better place, dear. You and I both know we already have the ideal spot for a hotel. It’s a matter of moving to a different spot before the sea takes it all away.”

  “But we won’t let that happen, Mammie. I’ve read about it and there are dozens of ideas to help protect us from the sea. Running away is not the only option we have. If I thought it was, I would agree with you, but there are scientists coming up with other solutions all the time. Why not have faith in them?”

  “Because all of those ideas are costly and governments haven’t even allocated money and resources to make them happen yet. Meanwhile we don’t know how much time we have before a bigger storm hits us and washes out the inn like the last one washed out our home. Do you really want to take that risk? Do you really want to put our fate in other people’s hands?”

  She watched her grandmother walk away before she could answer, massaging her right hand. The doctor had told them it was likely the medication would no longer suffice to manage the tremors. She’d suggested surgery, which Yvonne had promised to consider. It wasn’t surprising she didn’t want to depend on other people for the future of her inn. She was already losing control over her own body. Melodie turned to the sea one last time to take in the view before she followed her grandmother to the car she’d parked on the side of the road.

  “I think I’ll ask your dad to move into the duplex with me,” Yvonne declared as they climbed into the small Honda Civic.

  “What? Don’t do that. He’ll drive you crazy.”

  “I’ll do my best to drive him crazy first so he gets a job and gets his own apartment again.” Yvonne chuckled but her eyes showed nothing but concern. “I can’t afford to keep paying for his apartment, dear. And if—no, when—something happens to me, I don’t want you to inherit that responsibility. So I’ll try again.”

  “Try what, Mammie?”

  “To make a man out of my son.”

  “He’s already a grown man, though. He’s an irresponsible man, maybe, but he’s an adult and it’s too late to change him. You’ll make yourself sicker trying.”

  “We’ll see.”

  Melodie started the car and drove away. There was no point arguing when her grandmother had made up her mind. She could only hope her father wouldn’t kill her before her time.

  Ana paced nervously in the lobby as she held a crying Thomas in her arms. She’d tried bouncing up and down, rocking back and forth. Nothing worked. They’d had a good time until about ten minutes ago. They’d played on the foam mat Melodie had placed in her room, exploring each toy thoroughly. There were so many new kinds of toys Ana had never seen before. “Please laugh again, baby. You’re so much cuter when you laugh.” The first time she’d made him laugh, she’d felt her heart swell with pride. She’d simply crossed her eyes and stuck out her tongue and he’d exploded in laughter. She’d repeated the grimace so many times her eyeballs hurt, but she’d do it again if it could keep Thomas from crying. She’d changed his diaper, but that didn’t help. He was hungry.

  Melodie said they wouldn’t be gone long enough for Ana to feed him so she’d left no instructions about meals. She stared at her cell phone on the desk, wondering if she should call her, but she didn’t want to disturb them if they were still in the doctor’s office. Then she remembered the bottle Melodie had arrogantly held in her face as she’d announced it contained breast milk. She almost ran to the kitchen, still holding Thomas tightly. Surely there would be another bottle in the fridge. She only needed one. She opened the door and sighed with relief. “Bingo!”

  She went through the cupboard until she found a large bowl and let water run until it was warm enough to fill the bowl. She put the cold bottle of milk in the warm water and brought her attention back to Thomas, who’d stopped crying. He looked at her with anticipation, making a suction movement with his little heart-shaped mouth. She sprinkled milk on her forearm. Still too cold. “Hang in there, baby. There’s a bit of a line at the door but I’ve heard the food is worth the wait.”

  Thomas looked at her with big, round blue eyes. His dark hair was almost as messy as hers, sticking out in every direction. She smiled at him and he smiled back. He was truly adorable when he wasn’t crying. She dared a grimace again. She thought it was working when he giggled for a few seconds before he screwed his face into a grimace of his own and started crying again. “All right. I know, I know. It’s time for food, not for funny faces.” She tested the milk again and decided it was warm enough. She offered it to Thomas who sucked on it with gusto as she walked back to the lobby and sat in the rocking chair.

  She wished she had the pillow she’d seen Melodie use before, but she’d have to manage without it. Her hands were full, and she couldn’t move. How did Melodie do it? She found a semi-comfortable position and stared at him as he drank from the bottle. He placed his small hand over hers and her throat tightened. As a teenager, taking care of younger kids had been nothing but a burden. Playing with Thomas and feeding him today was a completely different experience. It was as close as she’d ever come to understanding maternal instincts. This little boy tugged at her heart, at her deepest emotions.

  “Oh thank god you found a bottle.” Ana jumped, startled by Melodie’s voice. She was so focused on Thomas she hadn’t heard the women come in. Not even the doorbell. She looked up at Melodie and then saw Yvonne smiling at her with tenderness. “I’m so sorry. I was sure we’d be back before feeding time. I can take over from here.”

  “No, I’d like to finish if you don’t mind, but I’d like that pillow you usually have though.”

  Melodie grabbed the pillow from under the desk and installed it under Ana’s arm. “Here you go,” she whispered.

  “Thank you,” Ana mouthed.

  She took a step back and watched quietly as the scientist fed her son and they stared at each other. She saw Thomas’s little hand on top of Ana’s pale skin, saw her slender fingers around the bottle. The scene moved her. She smiled and swallowed. No, it troubled her. It forced her to see Ana as more than a threatening scientist. It made her see the woman. It gave her a glimpse of the kind heart her grandmother had mentioned. Admitting there was another side to Ana was annoying enough, but what really perturbed her was that she felt a visceral pull to that new side of her. She took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. She couldn’t be attracted to any part of Ana Bloom. “If you’re okay with it, I’ll go change.”

  “No problem. We’re good here.” Ana turned from Thomas long enough to smile at her and there was so much warmth in that smile that she felt her face heat up. And since when did she have such deep green eyes? She’d never even noticed the color of her eyes before. She h
ad to get away.

  “Go ahead, dear. I’ll stay with Ana.”

  “Thanks,” Melodie managed to say before she rushed to her room. She hurried to take off her winter jacket as unbearable heat washed over her. What was happening to her?

  “You’re a natural. Have you ever thought about having children of your own?” Yvonne asked as she took Thomas. She wasn’t entirely sure what to do after he finished his bottle, so she watched as Yvonne placed a burp cloth on her shoulder and held him upright against her chest, gently patting his back.

  “I did at one time, but then my career took over.”

  “I see. It’s not too late, though. Do you have a husband or a boyfriend waiting for you back home?”

  Danielle immediately popped into Ana’s mind, as she did every time she was asked questions about her love life. Those four years with Danielle had been her only experience with love. “No, I don’t have anyone. I had a partner once. A woman. But that was a long time ago. My career really does keep me busy.” She watched for Yvonne’s reaction, hoping she wouldn’t be offended by her declaration, but refusing to let her continue to believe anything other than the truth.

  She didn’t really peg the older woman as homophobic, but she wasn’t expecting the wide smile she offered either. “Well, I’m sure you’ll meet the woman for you sooner than later. You have too much to offer to remain single.”

  “That’s kind of you, thank you,” she replied. The truth was that love had been erased from her list of priorities the day Danielle had left her. Actually, if you asked Danielle, she’d probably say love had never been among her priorities at all. They spent the last several months of their relationship arguing about one thing and one thing only: Ana spent too much time at work and not enough time with her. Their romance had gone smoothly at first but once Ana had plunged into research on climate change, she’d become obsessed. In the end Danielle concluded she wasn’t strong enough to compete with the planet. Ana had realized she’d been right, of course, but it was too late.