Free (Save The Kids Book 4)

by E. M. Leya

  "Do I?" He pushed a third finger in. "What's the longest you've ever gone without fucking?"

  "Right before I met you. My stay in jail. Before that, never more than a day or two."

  Jeremy was a bit surprised. That was a lot of partners, a lot of sex. "Am I enough for you?"

  "Do I look unsatisfied?" D rocked his body against his fingers.

  "You look hot as fuck." Jeremy pulled his fingers out and quickly placed the head of his cock against D's hole. "I'm going to make you scream my name." He pressed inside, his breath catching as D's ass gripped around him.

  "I don't know your name to scream it. Tell me your real name." D gasped as Jeremy settled deep.

  Jeremy smiled as he gripped D's legs. He turned his head, kissing D's ankle, then he started to move. He wasn't gentle, didn't ease into anything. He went hard, bottoming out with the first thrust and continuing to do so. He loved this. Loved that D wanted it hard. Loved that he didn't complain about the piercing. His fingers dug into his skin as he watched D's expressions, learning just how to angle, just where it made D grunt out in pain. He wasn't sure what it was about sex that D needed, why he craved it so badly. He might never know, but as he reached down, taking D's cock in his fist, and stroking him almost as hard as he thrust into him, it all didn't matter. They gave each other what they needed. Their pasts didn't matter, their pain faded away. They were so different, but yet the same. The loss of identity connected them, but it also created their new lives, their new passions, and their new uniqueness. Losing who they were brought them together, and now, they were finding who they would be.

  "Fucking hell." D's cock pulsed without warning, hot cum shooting over Jeremy's fist.

  He loved watching D come. The walls were gone, the defenses down. It was the one and only time he saw the true Dyson, not the man he was trying to be, and not the man he used to be. He was in the moment, forgetting the past, forgetting the future. It was a side that Jeremy doubted few ever saw.

  As his own orgasm hit and he threw back his head, his muscles tightening, he wanted to give D the same thing from him. He breathed through his orgasm, giving himself a minute to recover before finally being able to speak. He reached down, tracing D's chin with his finger as he smiled at him. "Aaron. My name is Aaron."

  D shifted, causing Jeremy's cock to slip free as D lowered his legs and pulled him down against his chest, holding him tightly. D kissed him softly, his fingers combing through his hair. When he pulled back, he stared into Jeremy's eyes and smiled. "My Aaron."

  Jeremy closed his eyes, resting his head on D's chest, and just for the night, enjoyed being who he really was.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  D shoved several towels in a duffle bag before grabbing his shirt off the bed and slipping it over his head just as his phone rang. He glanced down, frowning at the unknown phone number. The phone was secure, and only team members had the number. Worried it was Rani or Jessica calling from a number he didn't know, he picked it up. "Hello?"

  "I miss you!" Faith's voice was like music to his ears.

  "Faith! I miss you too! How are you?" He sat down on the bed, overwhelmed with emotion at hearing her voice for the first time since he'd left California. She shouldn't be calling him, but at the moment, he didn't care. Hearing her was like a lifeline to a life he missed more than he could admit.

  "I'm good. I finally got my driver's license, but Dad doesn't let me drive too much." She sounded so excited.

  "That's fantastic!" He fought a wave of guilt that he hadn't been there. He had been teaching her to drive, taking her to different unpopulated areas to let her practice. He was supposed to be part of all this. "Were you nervous?" He needed to keep his mind on her and not his own regrets.

  "I was so scared. I thought for sure I'd fail the test. Lisa and I studied together, then Beau and Dad took us both to get our licenses together."

  "Did Lisa get hers?"

  "She did. Now we can drive to see each other instead of waiting for our Dads to take us. I drove to school yesterday, but that was the first time. Xander says after I have more experience, we'll think about getting me a car." Faith's excitement was contagious.

  D grinned. "Don't let them force you into getting something you don't like. You need something safe, but make them get you something cool. A car you really like." His heart ached that he couldn't be there to share all this with her. "You doing good in school?"

  "Yeah, math is hard, but Dad's helping me with that. My jump team is going to the state championships again too."

  He closed his eyes. "I wish I could be there to see it. Have Xander record it so he can send it to me, okay?"

  "I wish you could be here too. I miss you so much. Do you like it where you are?" she asked.

  "It's okay. The place is nice, but I'd rather be there with you. I miss you guys so much. I think about you all the time and wonder what you're doing." He glanced up as Jeremy walked into the room. He gave him a smile as he held up his finger, letting him know he'd be a few minutes.

  Jeremy nodded, grabbed his shoes from beside the bed, and slipped out of the room again, leaving him alone.

  "I kept asking to call you, but Bryon wouldn't give us your number. Finally, last night, he gave it to Xander, but it was too late to call then. Have you made new friends?" she asked.

  "I have made a couple. In fact, I've met someone and I'm actually dating." He smiled, thinking about Jeremy.

  "You're dating someone?" Faith gasped. "You don't date."

  "I know, but I am now. He had to leave his home the same way I did."

  "You're really dating him? Like in a relationship?" She didn't sound as if she believed him.

  "Who's dating?"

  He heard Xander in the background and it was like he was being stabbed in the heart. Fuck, he missed his best friend. More than anything, he hated being away from Xander. Even though he was making a life for himself in Colorado, part of him was missing without Xander around all the time. So many times he'd fought to hold back the pain and anger at them having to be apart.

  "Dyson's dating," Faith told Xander.

  "Give me the phone," Xander told her. "Dys, you there?"

  D closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "Hey, Xan." Just hearing his best friend made him miss him even more. "Fuck, I miss being there." He fisted the blanket he was sitting on, angry and frustrated at the turn his life had made. "I should be there."

  "You should. It's not the same without you, man. How are you?" Xander's voice was filled with the same emotion.

  "Good. Everything is slowly coming together. I'm not sure how much you've been told. Is your line secure?" He didn't really need to ask. He was sure that Xander would make sure they were all safe.

  "It is. Bry's kept us up to date. He says you've got a few members and have started actively hunting. You've got a good team? You trust them?" Xander asked.

  "They're good, but they aren't you guys. Fuck, I miss you guys. It's just not the same. I hate that all this shit happened." He missed his old life, missed his friends. "I'm making it work here, but know I'd come back in a second if I could."

  "I know you would. Matt, Faith, and I will be coming to visit you in a few months. I promised Bry that I'd wait a bit longer. Things have cooled off a lot here, but he thinks the more time we give it, the better it will be." Xander sighed. "So many fucking times I went to pick up the phone and call you, then remembered you weren't here."

  "I know, me too. It's fucked up. I'm glad you're coming to visit though. It won't be soon enough. Everyone is doing good?"

  "Nothing's changed. Kids are growing up fast. You heard Faith, she's driving now. Scares the fuck out of me. Not her driving, she's a good driver, but just her being out there on the roads on her own. She's still my little girl, ya know?" Xander sounded sad.

  "I know. She always will be to all of us. She's turning into an amazing young woman. I wish I was there. I'm missing so much. Is the team back to work?"

  "Yeah, about a week ago we started
back up. We were letting too much sit. We needed to get out there. I've thought a lot about coming there with you, but I just can't uproot Faith right now."

  "I know, Xan. I don't expect that. We'll make this work. Having you come to visit will help." D sighed, memories of sitting around with Xander, laughing about things filled his mind.

  "So who's the new guy you're dating? I did hear Faith right, didn't I? She said dating?" Xander's voice had a teasing tone.

  D smiled. "You heard right. Jeremy's my computer guy. You'll meet him when you come visit. He sorta had to start over the same way I had to. He's good, Xan. I really like him."

  "Good. You need someone, Dys. I know you don't think you do, but being alone isn't good for you. If he can deal with your shit, he has to be a good guy."

  "He is. He keeps up with me, if you know what I mean." D laughed.

  "Yeah, that's good. No more clubs then?"

  "Haven't since I got here. There's no desire. I'm happy, Xan. I mean, I miss the fuck out of you guys and wish I was there, but things are good here. It's been work getting a team together, and we have a long way to go, but we'll get there. I don't know how I'll deal with the winter, but I guess we'll find out. I'm going to freeze my nuts off here, I think."

  "Nah, your nuts are tough. You'll get through it." Xander sighed. "Fuck, it's good talking to you. Bryon says it's safe to keep in touch, but just be careful, so I'm going to be calling you more. I hope your boyfriend isn't jealous."

  D grinned. "He'll be good. I haven't talked much about you guys because I was worried, but if Bryon thinks it's safe, I'll let him know more about you, especially if you guys are coming to visit in a few months. I think you'll like him."

  Xander laughed. "I never thought I'd hear this. You're actually talking long-term relationship. You really think you'll still be with him in a few months when I get there. This must be some guy."

  D laughed. "He is. I'm tired, Xan. I couldn't do it anymore. The meaningless shit was getting old. Jeremy is tough. I think he can handle me."

  "Have you told him?" Xander asked.

  D closed his eyes. "I don't know how."

  "It's a big part of who you are, Dys. It's why you are the way you are. You should tell him sooner rather than later if you want this to work. He deserves to know why you're—"

  "So fucked up?" D laid back on the bed.

  "I was going to say so sexual, but yeah, fucked up works too. If Matt could deal with my past, the right man will be able to deal with yours. If he can put up with your needs, then he can handle the reason behind them. It was different when I was around and you could vent to me when shit got hard, but you need someone there who you can trust. Someone who you don't have to hide from."

  D wasn't sure about that. He was good at hiding. He'd been doing it most of his life. He was scared to tell Jeremy everything. It was easy to assume it wouldn't change things, but how could it not? It was so horrific that he doubted anyone would want to deal with his baggage if they knew about it. There were times he'd even regretted telling Xander. Times that he swore he saw pity in Xander's eyes. "We'll see."

  "Do it, Dys. It will be good for you. It's time you faced the past and stopped running from it. It's not who you are. You're stronger than it is." Xander's voice was firm and he could imagine his stern face as he heard him speak.

  "Fuck, Xan. I miss being home."

  "We miss you here too, but you are home now. You're safe there, and that's what fucking matters. I'd rather have you there than sitting in prison where I couldn't talk to you at all. This isn't perfect, and this isn't the life we planned, but it's the best we've got to work with right now." Xander sighed. "Don't let this phone call get you down. It wasn't meant to do that."

  "I know. It's just hard. I miss so much. It's so hard here without everyone."

  "You're not alone. From what I've heard, you've got a good team started. Let them in. Make them your new family. We're just the family in another state. There is no reason you can't have both. We haven't forgotten you, and you know we never will."

  "Yeah." D stared up at the ceiling. "You're right. Anyway, I need to go. Keep me posted on what's new and hug Faith for me. Tell her I love her and I'll talk to her soon. Make sure she's got my number so she can call and text when she wants. Hearing from her will help."

  "More than hearing from me?" Xander teased.

  "Fuck off. You know better than that." D grinned, but it didn't last. He hated saying goodbye again. Even if it was just a phone call, it just reminded him how far apart they were now. One fucked up night had split them up forever. "I miss you most, fuckface."

  Xander laughed. "Yeah, me too, asshole. I'll keep in touch. I'll send you a video of me shitting myself every time I'm in the passenger seat and Faith is driving."

  D grinned as he heard Faith yell something at Xander. God, he missed them. "I'll look forward to it. Tell everyone else I said hi and that I miss them. Give them my number. I'd love to hear from them."

  "I will. You take care." Xander ended the call.

  D continued to lay there, staring at the ceiling. He really missed his old life. He tried hard not to think about it. There was nothing he could do to change his circumstances. Hearing from Xan hurt. It brought back all the pain that he'd shoved deep inside and refused to deal with. Anger and frustration were real, but he had no one but himself to blame. He'd been the one to get caught.

  A soft knock drew his attention to the door.

  "Sorry, just needed to grab my phone. I'd left it on the nightstand." Jeremy peeked in, then frowned. "You okay?"

  D shrugged. "You can come in." He continued to lay on the bed, not wanting to move. "It was my best friend from the old team. Hell, my best friend from forever ago. We met when we were eighteen."

  Jeremy sat down beside him. "Missing your old life?"

  "Really bad after that call." D reached his hand out, finding Jeremy's. "I'm glad I'm here with you, but I miss my old life so badly sometimes. I miss my friends."

  Jeremy gave his hand a squeeze. "How about we forget the lake and just go to my place?"

  D was surprised that Jeremy could read his emotions so well. The last thing he was in the mood for was the lake. "You sure you don't mind?"

  "Not at all. We can take the day and miss our pasts. The lake's not going anywhere. We can go another time." Jeremy gave him a sympathetic look. "I didn't have anyone as close as you did, and I miss my friends. I know it's hard."

  D blew out a long breath. "I miss them all, but mostly Xander."

  Jeremy nodded. "How about we get out of here and you can tell me all about him?"

  D sat up and hugged Jeremy tightly. Somehow, he knew exactly what D needed. Fate might have taken Xander from him, but it gave him a gift with Jeremy. No matter how much he might deny what was happening between them, the truth was right there. Jeremy was inching into his heart, and if he wasn't careful, it was going to be something more than D ever thought he'd have in his life. "I'd like that."

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  D took the beer that Jeremy handed him. "Thanks." He twisted the cap off the bottle and set it on the coffee table, then rested his free hand on Jeremy's thigh as he sat down beside him. "Thanks for not being upset with the change of plans." He hated how the phone call had changed his mood. He'd been excited to go out with Jeremy, but something about being in touch with Xander hit him hard.

  "It's okay. I understand," Jeremy told him.

  "Yeah, you do. You're living it too." D sighed. "I thought I was dealing with the changes okay, but that phone call made me realize all I've done is push the anger back because, honestly, what else can I do with it?"

  "Scream, cry, or maybe just talk about it," Jeremy told him. "I know we were told to forget our past, to move on and start over, but it's really not that easy. You can't just erase all those years. You can't suddenly become what you're not. You can't forget the people you care about."

  D leaned his head on Jeremy's shoulder. "I've tried. I mean, you'd think it w
ould make it easier to try and forget. It's not like I can ever go back, but I just can't seem to let go. I guess talking to Xander today for the first time since I left hit me harder than I thought it would. I was pissed off that he's back home, living his normal life, watching Faith grow up. It's all stuff I thought I'd be doing too."

  "Who is Faith? I've heard her mentioned a few times," Jeremy asked softly.

  D smiled. "A pain in my ass." He laughed. "She's Xander's step-daughter. She was actually one of the kids we saved a few years back. She was kidnapped and our team managed to find her. We went in, took down her attacker, and called the police. Xander ended up marrying her dad, Matt, who is now one of our… their computer guys." He took a deep breath. "They still feel like my team, you know? Anyway, Faith is almost seventeen now. She just got her driver's license. Before I got caught, I was taking her out, letting her practice in my car. She just has a way about her. I don't even know how to explain it, but you can't help but love her. She's really good friends with Beau. Faith wants to be a doctor someday like Beau. She'll do it too. Probably be better than Beau ever dreamed of being. I've never met someone so young and so motivated."

  "She sounds amazing." Jeremy smiled.

  "She really is. Anyway, Xander is my best friend, so of course I was around her and her dad all the time. We were all pretty close. They were family to me. I mean, Xander always has been family. The only family that ever mattered to me at least." D closed his eyes. "Xander's always been there for me. He helped me get through some shit. When I got to the Army, I was a mess. I was a walking time-bomb. If he hadn't found a way to ground me, I'm not sure I'd be alive today."

  "Do you want to talk about it?" Jeremy asked. "It's okay if you don't."

  D smiled, opening his eyes. "Xander said I should tell you everything. Let you know why I'm as fucked up as I am, but it's not that easy."

  "For one, you're not fucked up. You like sex. There's nothing wrong with that. Using it as a crutch probably isn't advised, but there are a lot of worse addictions you could have. Second, you only tell me what you're comfortable telling me. I'm here for you either way. We all have things we don't talk about. Some bigger than others. I'm with you now. The past doesn't matter to me. If you want to share, I'll listen, but if you can't ever tell me, then that's okay too."