Complication (Rock Stars & Romance Book 6)

by A. K. Evans

  “You’re the only two people I’m aware of that know what’s going on,” I started. “Well, I guess that maybe Sienna’s parents know, too.”

  “Have a seat,” Walker urged. “Can I get you a beer?”

  I shook my head. “No. I don’t need anything else messing with my head right now,” I answered.

  Walker chuckled. “I’m guessing one beer wouldn’t come close to touching what’s happening in your head right now, but if you change your mind, let me know.”

  “You’re here,” Sadie declared.

  “What?”

  “If you’re here right now, I can only assume that means that things didn’t go well with Sienna,” she explained.

  That was an understatement.

  “It was a disaster,” I confessed.

  Worry consumed Sadie’s features.

  “What happened?” Walker asked.

  I launched in and told them everything that had happened from the minute I opened my door this morning and saw her standing on the other side until the minute she asked me to see myself out of her house. Throughout it all, neither of them interrupted me or reacted in a way that caused me to stop speaking, but the moment I finished telling them everything, Walker gave me a look of disbelief.

  “What?” I questioned him.

  “You indicated to the pregnant mother of your child, a woman who happens to also be your sister’s best friend, that you doubted whether the child was yours?” he retorted.

  I sat back and sighed. “It didn’t sound that bad when I thought it in my head,” I shared. “Besides, it’s not like I knew everything about her sex life to know who else she might have been with.”

  “Roscoe, man, you know I love you,” Walker started. “But you need to realize that not everybody lives the life that you do. Most people don’t want to live the life you do. And I’m not talking about the part that involves you making music and playing for crowds all over the world.”

  “Is she okay?” Sadie asked.

  My brows shot up in surprise. “She kicked me out,” I reminded her. “Aside from all the justifiable anger, she seems completely fine. In fact, she told me that she didn’t need me.”

  “Yeah, she doesn’t need you, Roscoe. But that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want you,” Sadie reasoned.

  I brought both hands up to my face and rubbed my eyes. I couldn’t deal with whatever Sadie meant by that on top of the impending birth of a child I’d fathered.

  “This is too much,” I declared. “All my life, all I’ve ever wanted was this. The band, the music, the touring. I love this life. I love the freedom. I never planned on a baby.”

  “I’m going to go out on a limb and say that I doubt Sienna planned on this either,” Walker reasoned. “Look, I know how much you enjoy what you’ve got now, but a kid doesn’t have to mean that all that stops. And I know that it’s probably something you can’t even begin to grasp right now, but settling down and being with one woman you love is far better than late nights with women you barely even know.”

  “You’re talking about love now? Walker, that wasn’t what Sienna and I had that night,” I assured him.

  “But you introduced her to us,” he shot back.

  “We saw the way you were with her from the moment she walked down the aisle,” Sadie added. “You can keep telling yourself that she’s nobody special, but deep down, I think you know that’s a lie. Sienna’s not like these other women.”

  Fuck.

  They weren’t wrong.

  When I saw Sienna walking down that aisle, something about her made my heart start pounding in my chest. When she smiled, her whole face lit up. From what I could recall about her when she was younger, Sienna had never been someone who needed or wanted to be the center of attention. She was always rather shy. Yet somehow, it was hard to pay attention to anyone else besides her.

  “I know she’s not,” I mumbled. “That’s why I probably never should have acted on that impulse that night.”

  “Do you honestly think that’s what this boils down to, Roscoe? You think it’s just about the fact that you shouldn’t have slept with her? Do you think that maybe it’s something else? Maybe, even if you aren’t ready to admit it, maybe this was about you wanting something more meaningful in your life.”

  He was crazy.

  No way. I wasn’t going to admit that because it made no sense. Why would I ever give up something that I’d worked my whole life for?

  “I feel like it’s all slipping away,” I shared.

  “What is?”

  “This life,” I clarified. “And this was long before Sienna. First it was Cash, which was enough of a shock. But then Beck hooks up with Chasey and becomes an instant dad. You two have been doing this thing for more years than anyone else. Holland and Raid are now a thing. And fuck me, I thought Killian was going to always be my wingman, but now he’s got Magnolia. It’s like everything we’ve all worked hard to build with My Violent Heart is changing. And though we’ve been at this for well over ten years now, I feel like I’m just getting started when everyone else is ready to slow down. Are we just going to throw in the towel and give up?”

  Walker and Sadie looked at one another. “This is for you to answer,” she urged quietly.

  My best friend returned his attention to me and promised, “Nobody is throwing in the towel, Roscoe. Like you said, Sadie and I have been doing this for more years than anyone else. Trust me when I tell you, I have no desire to stop making music just because what we’ve got is out in the open. And look at Beck’s situation. He still went out on tour, knowing his wife was home pregnant because she supports his dreams. Falling in love, settling down with someone, and building a family isn’t a death sentence to your career. If anything, having all of that makes what we do that much more meaningful. Shit. Look at Cash’s song he wrote for Demi. It’s one of our most popular songs now. You have to start trying to look at this from a new perspective.”

  I understood what they were trying to do. They wanted me to believe that things weren’t going to change with the band, but I knew they would. Everyone would get married and have kids, and their lives would completely change. Music wasn’t going to be the priority any longer. I couldn’t begin to understand why they’d want to walk away from the life.

  “My whole life is going to change in a way I’m not sure I’m prepared for with this whole situation,” I remarked.

  “So is hers,” Sadie noted. “In fact, hers already has in ways you probably can’t even imagine.”

  “Oh, she made that very clear,” I muttered. “When I went to her place a little while ago and tried to explain why I reacted the way I did at my house, she didn’t even care to hear what I was saying. She went on and on about all that she’d been through over the last few months.”

  That list. She rattled through that whole list of things she’d gone through, and I felt like it didn’t matter what was going through my mind anymore. For one thing that I was feeling or experiencing, she had ten more.

  “And she’s heartbroken about it all,” Walker advised.

  I shook my head. “She’s not heartbroken, Walker. Angry? Yes. Bitter? Definitely. But heartbroken? I’m going to have to disagree with you on that one.”

  “I’m telling you, man, she’s devastated,” he insisted.

  “What do you mean by that?” I asked.

  With the exception of her initial reaction to me asking her if she was positive the baby was mine, Sienna hadn’t indicated to me that she was heartbroken.

  “I don’t mean that she’s upset about the pregnancy,” Walker began. “In fact, I think she’s probably holding herself back from feeling all the joy that she truly feels about it. But she’s crushed because even before she gave you the truth today, she already knew you wouldn’t want anything to do with her or this baby.”

  I didn’t think that was surprising. It wasn’t like I hadn’t made it clear through my entire career that I had no plans to settle down, get married, or have kids.
But I was curious how Walker could assume Sienna was crushed by it.

  “What would make you think she’s so devastated?” I asked him.

  Walker looked at Sadie and urged, “Go get it.”

  I thought that was a strange request, considering he didn’t actually indicate what he wanted her to get.

  “Are you sure?” she replied quietly.

  Walker nodded. “He should see it. He should know.”

  Sadie got up and left the room. I sat there and wondered what was going on, but I didn’t dare ask. I’d been handed enough stuff today. I was more than content to sit back and wait for more to come to me. I didn’t need to seek it out.

  Sadie returned a minute later, carrying something wrapped up in a plastic bag. She handed it to Walker, who looked up at me and said, “When we spotted Sienna yesterday, she was standing in the middle of the store and holding this up to her chest while she cried. She didn’t take it with her when she moved to leave, and when I said something to her about it, she said that she didn’t think it was a smart idea to get it for you.”

  “What is it?” I asked, feeling more confused than ever.

  Walker held it out to me.

  I took the item from his hands and unwrapped it from the bag. When I looked inside, I realized it was a picture frame, and I suddenly remembered Sienna telling me that she’d been crying in the aisle with the picture frames when Walker and Sadie found her.

  “It’s a frame,” I said.

  “It’s not just any frame,” Sadie noted.

  I reached inside the bag and pulled out the frame.

  Nobody loves me like my dad.

  Fuck.

  Dad.

  All day long I’d heard all sorts of words being tossed around—words like father and pregnancy and baby—and they didn’t make me stop and pause. But now? This three-letter word was ringing in my head like an alarm.

  Something clogged my throat as I glanced up at Walker and Sadie. I didn’t know what to say, but I wasn’t sure I could speak anyway.

  Luckily, Sadie did.

  “When we were at the wedding, Sienna told us that you two have known each other since she was six,” Sadie began. “It struck Walker and me as odd that she didn’t have your number after all these years. Obviously, we don’t know what happened between the two of you, but it can’t be so bad if you two were able to make a baby in one night. I know it’s probably not what you want to hear, Roscoe, but there’s no doubt in my mind that Sienna cares for you.”

  “She has a funny way of showing it,” I clipped. “It’s like she had no understanding of how this news could rock a person’s world.”

  I had to ignore the statement Sadie made about the fact that I’d known Sienna since she was six. Because it wasn’t until just a few hours ago that I realized she’d been purposely keeping herself away from me. It had been years since I saw her, but I always thought it was because of different schedules and bad timing. I never knew her absence was intentional, and I intended to find out why that was.

  “I don’t think it’s that she doesn’t have any understanding of how this changes both of your lives,” Sadie debated. “I think it’s about her doing what she has to do to protect herself, so she doesn’t get stressed. Her priority isn’t herself or you right now. Her priority is your baby.”

  I guess that made sense.

  I still felt so conflicted over the whole situation.

  “I should get going,” I told them.

  “Are you sure?” Walker asked. “We don’t mind trying to help you work through this.”

  I nodded and stood up from the couch. “I know. I appreciate that. But at this point, I think I’ve gotten more news and advice than I can manage. I need some time alone to think.”

  Walker and Sadie both stood at the same time.

  When I held the frame out to him, Walker pushed it back to me. “Keep it. You might eventually decide you want it.”

  I held his gaze briefly before I dipped my chin. “Thanks for listening.”

  “Anytime,” Walker assured me.

  Not long after I said goodbye to them, I drove myself home. For the next few hours, I tried to get myself to come to terms with all that had happened that day. Between the news of Sienna’s pregnancy and the advice Walker and Sadie had given, I had a lot to think about.

  By the end of the day, I wasn’t sure I’d come up with any reasonable resolutions beyond what I’d offered to Sienna already. Even if I hadn’t wanted a kid, I could still admit that I’d done my part in creating one. So, I’d provide the financial support to make sure that baby was taken care of, but I felt ill-equipped to provide support that went beyond that.

  With my mind made up on that front, it made no sense to me that before I fell into my bed to try to sleep that night that I took the ultrasound photo Sienna had given me and put it in the frame I got from Walker and Sadie. It continued to make no sense that I stared at that photo in that frame for ten minutes before I put it on my nightstand. And it definitely was a bad idea that I fell asleep with that picture and those words pointing right at me.

  But then I came to my senses in the morning. When I woke up, I took that frame and put it in the top drawer of that nightstand.

  Seeing it every day would only make this whole thing an even bigger complication than it already was.

  Nine

  Sienna

  I was at war.

  That battle was being fought inside me.

  It was Monday afternoon, and I was sitting inside my delivery truck eating my lunch. While I tried to keep my focus on refueling my body to get me through the second half of my day at work, I was failing.

  Because my mind couldn’t stop wandering back to what had happened yesterday.

  When I thought back to how I’d responded to Roscoe, it made me cringe. Well, kind of. The part of me that was cringing was the part of me that didn’t recognize the woman who stood up to Roscoe.

  I’d always been shy around him when I was younger. Then I was unable to be around him at all. Somehow, that changed at Addy’s wedding nearly five months ago, where I allowed myself to be completely ravished by the man.

  I didn’t know what to think or do about this new version of myself. This version, the one that stood up, fought back, and didn’t take his crap, was completely unexpected.

  When it all boiled down, I had to admit I was proud of myself, even if I wondered if I’d gone too far. I offered him no sympathy whatsoever, and I wasn’t sure if that was the kind of person I wanted to be.

  But no sooner would that thought pop into my mind when I’d push it away and recall the promise I made to my myself and my baby that day in the fitting room.

  This wasn’t about me.

  This was about a little boy or girl who was going to depend on me.

  The moment I realized where it all came from, I started to give myself some grace. The way I was yesterday wasn’t just about me being a woman scorned by a man I used to have a crush on. It was about me fully stepping into the role of being a mother.

  As proud as I was for handing Roscoe’s shit right back to him and letting him know how much I had been affected by this pregnancy, too, I was still very upset by all of it. My heart hurt so much for so many different reasons.

  Obviously, I felt sadness for my child. He or she was going to be the innocent one affected by all of this. Aside from the baby, it hurt to know that I’d given a part of myself to Roscoe that night. I didn’t regret the pregnancy at all, but I regretted giving in to physical desires for a man I knew wouldn’t ever want more.

  Maybe I really did owe him an apology. It was obvious to anyone who knew him or knew of him that Roscoe had no desire to have a steady relationship, let alone a child. I knew that going in, and I still allowed myself to be fooled by stupid dreams and the words of others.

  I couldn’t wait for Addy to get back from her honeymoon in four weeks. I really wanted my best friend back. I desperately needed her. I needed someone to talk to about everything I
was feeling.

  I had my mom, of course. But this was different. I hadn’t even started to figure out how I was going to tell her about the whole situation. It was going to break her heart, and I just couldn’t bring myself to do that to her.

  Just as I brought my hard-boiled egg up to my mouth to take a bite, my phone rang. I picked it up, saw a number I didn’t recognize, and answered, “Hello?”

  “Sienna?”

  “Yes, who’s calling?”

  “It’s Sadie.”

  My eyes widened, and I set my egg down beside the cubes of Colby-Jack cheese I’d packed in my lunch container.

  “Hi, Sadie. I wasn’t expecting you.”

  “I’m not calling at a bad time, am I?” she asked.

  “Not at all. I’m just at work on my lunch break,” I told her.

  “Oh, cool. I won’t keep you, but I wanted to see if you were going to be busy this Friday,” she said.

  I thought about the week ahead. Considering the situation I was in right now, even if I had had plans—which I didn’t—I probably would have needed to cancel them. Because now that I’d gone and refused any financial support from Roscoe when it came to taking care of this baby, I needed to make sure I saved every single penny that I could.

  “I’m working on Friday, but I should be heading home around five,” I shared.

  “How would you like to join me and the rest of the girls for a girls’ night in at Beck and Chasey’s place? My new niece, Rosie, is almost a month old now, and Chasey’s been cooped up in the house. Beck promised to cook some food on the grill before he took over baby duties for the rest of the evening to give Chasey a break. I thought you might like to join us.”

  “Wow, that sounds like a lot of fun. But are you sure it’s okay with everyone else?” I asked.

  There wasn’t an ounce of hesitation in her voice when she assured me, “Everyone was hoping you’d join us. And don’t worry, I haven’t told any of them about the pregnancy. That’s your exciting news to share.”

  That was sweet of her. Heck, it was sweet of all of them.