Collateral Damage: A Small Town Romance

by Lagomarsino, Giulia

“The kind that makes sure she’s always safe,” he retorted.

  “Okay, well, I’m a divorce lawyer and she’s an office manager. I’m fairly certain that planning out in this much detail how to say sorry really isn’t a matter of national security. There’s no need for cameras, because no one is going to go after her.”

  “Except Corduroy,” Will said.

  “Thanks for the help.”

  “Hey, we told you, he’s had a thing for her since high school. You can’t really believe that he’ll walk away once you’re back in Chicago.”

  “I don’t believe this. You’re with them?”

  He shrugged. “It’s not the worst idea in the world.”

  “And how is this all supposed to go down?” I asked Derek and Hunter. “Please tell me you have some plan that will make all of this,” I motioned to the papers on the table, “make sense.”

  Derek grinned, snatching random things off the counter. “Okay, we’re going to simultaneously have you apologize to Anna, whilst also announcing to all of the town that you’re a couple.”

  “Which will ensure that Corduroy keeps his distance from your girl,” Hunter added. “If anything happens, the good people in town will post about it, immediately alerting you to what’s going on. This way, you always have tabs on your woman.”

  I shook my head. “I’m almost afraid to ask, but…what’s the plan?”

  Derek held up the salt shaker and placed it on the map of town, right over the bakery. “Here’s where it’ll all go down. First, Anna makes her entrance into the shop tomorrow morning for her coffee and donuts.”

  “Babka,” Eric corrected.

  “Doesn’t matter. She orders her food, and while she’s there, Joe and Andrew will be in position down the street to intercept the sheriff and Corduroy.” He grabbed the pepper shaker and a butter knife, placing them a short distance from the salt shaker.

  “Intercept them to do what?” Andrew asked.

  “To redirect them to the bakery.”

  “Wait, you want to send them to the bakery where Anna is? For what reason? I thought the point was to keep Corduroy away from Anna?”

  “Ah, see this is where it gets tricky. You know that Anna would never cheat on you. Once she made her decision that she wanted you, she would never accept any of Corduroy’s attention,” Derek grinned.

  “Exactly, so why are you shoving them together?”

  “To set boundaries,” Hunter smirked. “In enters Lucy.”

  “Your wife, Lucy?” I asked skeptically.

  “She’s agreed to be part of the mission for the greater good. She’ll walk into the bakery in something smoking hot just as the sheriff and Corduroy are arriving at the bakery. She’ll be standing in front of them in line and casually bend over to pick up something she’s dropped. Of course, Corduroy will fall for the bait and watch her ass.”

  “Why will he watch her ass if he’s going after Anna?” I asked in confusion.

  “Because Lucy has a nice ass,” Hunter growled.

  I rubbed my hand over my forehead. I couldn’t believe I was sitting here listening to all this. It was unbelievable to say the least. And none of it made any sense. I didn’t understand what the point of any of this was.

  “Anyway,” Hunter continued. “Lucy will draw his attention and start flirting with him. Anna, of course, will see this and be disgusted by it.”

  “Or won’t care at all,” Derek added. “Since she chose you, there shouldn’t be much to worry about.”

  “Then why is Lucy part of this?” I asked again.

  Derek sighed. “It’s like talking to a kid,” he muttered. “You’re laying the groundwork. You’re making sure that she sees him hitting on another woman. Then, the next time he comes around to hit on your girl, she’s not interested because she knows that he’s just a big flirt and will hit on anything with two legs.”

  “Hey,” Hunter snapped, “Lucy is more than just two legs.”

  “Anyway,” Derek continued, “after Lucy makes her move, then Hunter will storm into the shop and start a fight with Corduroy, hitting him for flirting with his woman. You’ll be casually walking down the street when you see the fight break out. Upon seeing Anna in danger of this fight, you rush into the shop to keep her out of harm’s way. Meanwhile, Joe, who will follow Corduroy down to the bakery, will film all of this on camera, showing how you rushed in to save the woman you love. Make sure the kiss is spectacular. Joe will then upload all of this to Facebook, on the town’s page. Your relationship will be outed in the most public way, and Corduroy will never stand a chance with Anna again, because Joe’s going to add the hashtag #HighSchoolSweetheartsForever. That will successfully remove him from her life without us making him disappear.”

  Derek stood straight, shoving his hands in his pockets with a huge grin on his face. I stared at him for a moment, trying to see the family resemblance, but it wasn’t there. This man standing in front of me was absolutely insane. I couldn’t follow his plan, let alone figure out how it would all magically fall into place. And frankly, I couldn’t see how any of this would benefit me in any way.

  “So, let me get this straight,” I said, going into lawyer mode. “You want to start a fake fight with Corduroy, to draw the attention of Anna, who wouldn’t be paying attention to Corduroy to begin with. And this is all so that I can circumvent any future interest he has in Anna. Then I kiss her and Joe uploads it to Facebook, all so the town knows that I’m with Anna.”

  “Brilliant, right?” Derek grinned.

  “I mean, we were up all night working it out, but…you’re welcome,” Hunter grinned.

  I cleared my throat and glanced at my other brothers, who looked just as skeptical as I did. “This took you all night?”

  “Yep, but you know, it’s all in the details.”

  I nodded. “Right, but you forgot just one thing.”

  Derek frowned, glancing at Hunter. “What’s that?”

  “The apology. See, the actual issue that I have is that I fucked up with Anna and need to apologize in a big way to her. But the only thing you have me doing here is rescuing her from a fake fight-“

  “Oh, it’ll be real,” Hunter grinned.

  I shook my head. “A fake fight that Corduroy doesn’t know is fake. You’ll also face jail time for hitting a police officer and disturbing the peace. And if I kiss Anna in a public place without actually apologizing to her first, she’s more likely to hit me, thus making this whole thing completely irrelevant. Oh, and then everyone in the town will witness my humiliation because Joe’s going to film the whole damn thing!”

  Will raised his hand from his seat. “And, can I point out that you left Eric and I out of all of this. I’m hurt. I thought we would get to be part of the fun.”

  “You mean the insanity,” Eric muttered.

  “So, you took all this time to think up this convoluted plan. What is your plan for my apology?”

  Hunter cleared his throat and shrugged. “You know, we’re not actually that good with the whole apology thing.”

  I nodded slightly, grabbing my jacket off the back of the chair. “Well, as interesting as this has all been, I’m going to find Anna and apologize to her…without all of this,” I motioned to the table.

  As I opened the door, I heard Derek mutter, “I can’t believe we forgot about the apology.”

  Eric followed me outside, shutting the door behind him. “Please tell me that they aren’t staying long.”

  “I think Hunter and Lucy are headed home soon, but Derek’s either staying for the wedding or coming back for it.”

  “If he stays, you’re going to end up helping him bury a body.”

  He rubbed his hand over his face and sighed. “I know. And I thought it was bad having Joe and Andrew in the house. Did you know that they actually have a suitcase just dedicated to guns?”

  “Work hazard, I guess.”

  He sighed heavily. “Why do I have the feeling that my wedding is going to turn into a war zone?”


  I slapped him on the shoulder and laughed. “Well, it’s either that or everyone has gas from the chili that’ll be served.”

  I walked down the steps, laughing as he shouted, “Hey, I told Anna to take that off the list!”

  Anna

  I was still pissed at Robert for the way he treated me on Saturday. I had no problem with staying away from Carter. After the way he manipulated me on Thanksgiving, I wasn’t exactly beating down his door to speak to him. But nobody told me who I could and couldn’t talk to. If Robert had simply asked me not to see him, that would have been a different story. But he hadn’t gone that route, and until he saw that I couldn’t be controlled like that, I wouldn’t be speaking to him.

  I rushed out the door Monday morning, falling a little behind from my usual schedule. After slamming the door shut, I ran to my car, barely avoiding twisting my ankle in a pothole on the way. Glancing at the clock, I saw that I just barely had time for my coffee this morning, but that was only if the bakery wasn’t packed with people. I hated to be late. I had been late my first day at the office and it set the whole tone for my day, which hadn’t turned out very well.

  As I pulled down Main Street, I swore at the lack of parking spaces available. “Ah!” I cried giddily as I saw a person backing out right in front of the bakery. I pulled in and jumped out of the car, rushing to the front door. Luckily, no one was in line, so I hurried to the counter to order.

  “In a hurry this morning?” Mary Anne asked.

  “Yes,” I said desperately. “Can I have my usual?”

  “I’ll be quick.”

  “Thanks,” I smiled as she hurried off to gather my order. I heard the door open behind me and turned around. Robert stood in the doorway in his suit, looking devilishly charming and instantly making me regret the way I walked away the other day. I could feel my throat closing up as he took his first steps toward me. I didn’t want to push him away. I wanted us to work this out.

  “Anna.”

  I swallowed hard. “Robert.”

  He smiled slightly as he stopped directly in front of me. “You look beautiful this morning.”

  “Thank you…I thought you headed back to the city already.”

  “I should have. I have an important meeting this morning, but I couldn’t go home without telling you something.”

  I blinked several times, still trying to come to terms with the fact that Robert hadn’t left and gone back to Chicago. I knew it was only an hour away, but he had stayed, despite me slamming the door in his face.

  “Okay.”

  “Anna, you know I love you. I never stopped. And I think I’ve made it pretty clear that I want you in my life. But something I haven’t made clear is that I’m terrified.”

  “Of what?”

  “Of losing you again. You see, I have this irrational fear that when I drive back to Chicago, you’re going to see Corduroy and he’s going to start whispering in your ear and convince you that you belong with him.”

  “Robert-“

  “I know,” he interrupted me. As I stared at him, I could see it now. This powerful man was still that same boy that I fell in love with. He was just as nervous as that first night we made love. “Anna, I haven’t had you by my side for all these years, and it terrifies me to know that Carter has had a thing for you since we were kids. He’s here and I’m not. I can’t control what happens now.”

  “You don’t have to control it. You don’t have to worry about Carter, because even though I think he’s good-looking, he’s not the man I want. Even when I was mad at you, I still couldn’t help but think about what it would be like to be with you again.”

  “So, do you accept my apology for being an ass the other day?”

  The door opened behind him and a gorgeous woman walked in, her hips swaying as she sashayed toward the counter. I didn’t recognize her and that was odd for such a small town. For a moment, I had this crazy idea that she was from the city, here to claim Robert as her own. And then Robert followed my gaze and his jaw dropped to the floor.

  “Lucy-“

  “Lucy?” I asked. “You know her?”

  “Uh…” He looked between us, his head swiveling back and forth. “Anna, I can explain this.”

  “Explain what exactly.”

  “Um…you see…Lucy is…”

  The door opened again and Carter came in, his eyes immediately going to Lucy’s ass. I rolled my eyes. Was this woman some kind of seductress?

  “Who is she?” I hissed.

  “I’d like to know that too,” Carter said with a grin.

  “Is she from Chicago?” I asked.

  “What?” Robert asked, his gaze swinging back to meet mine. “No, she’s not…Anna, I swear, this isn’t what it looks like.”

  “Hi, I’m Carter.”

  “Lucy,” she said, holding out her hand. She turned to Robert one last time and winked. My eyes widened in shock. I couldn’t stop staring at Carter and Lucy, flirting in front of us. It was like a bad train wreck, and apparently Robert felt the same way because he couldn’t stop watching either. Oh, God. She must be an ex, and now she was back and flirting with Carter in front of him, and I was just standing here like an idiot. I spun around and tossed my money on the counter, grabbing my donuts and coffee.

  “I need to go,” I said, trying to skirt around Carter just as he made a grab for Lucy’s ass. She moved backward out of his reach, tripping over my shoe and falling backward. Robert’s arms shot out to grab her, his hands falling in the most unfortunate places. The door opened again, and a hulk of a man entered, along with Joe. The man’s eyes went wide as he saw Robert’s hands on the woman. What the hell was it with this woman that every man in the place wanted her?

  “Hunter, this is not what it looks like,” Robert started, but just as he righted Lucy, Hunter went crashing into him, slamming him into the wall with a sickening thud.

  The bakery was a mess. Tables were overturned and chairs were broken. Hunter, Carter, and Robert all sat on the floor along the wall with ice packs provided by Mary Anne. The sheriff was taking statements as half the town watched. At least, it felt like half the town. All of Derek’s brothers were there, along with Kat and Derek’s girlfriend, Claire, whom I hadn’t actually met yet.

  “Nice job following your own plan,” Robert hissed at Hunter.

  “Hey, you had your hands wrapped around my woman’s ass, and her tits shoved in your face. You didn’t exactly follow the plan either.”

  “What plan?” I asked.

  Robert sighed, “My brother and his friend had this brilliant idea to take Corduroy out of the running.”

  “Yeah, and if you had followed that plan, we wouldn’t be sitting here right now,” Hunter shot back.

  “Wait, why would you need to take Carter out of the running?” I asked in confusion.

  “I didn’t,” Robert insisted. “They had this whole convoluted plan. It didn’t even make sense.”

  “It made perfect sense. You just don’t understand how women work.”

  “Right, says the man that sat outside his girlfriend’s place for two weeks instead of talking to her.”

  “Hey, it worked.”

  They were like little boys in the bodies of grown men. “I still don’t understand why you needed to take Carter out of the running.”

  “I’d like to know that too,” Carter said, rubbing at the bruise on his jaw.

  Hunter leaned forward and looked at me. “If you were here with Carter all the time, and Robert was in Chicago, he’d have every opportunity to spend extra time with you. And while he’s doing that, he’s going to try and sway you in his direction. I’ve seen it done before,” he shrugged.

  “There’s just one problem with your theory. I don’t want to be with Carter.”

  “Hey,” Carter objected. “I’m a great catch.”

  “And you also manipulated me at Thanksgiving. I’m still not even sure what the point of that whole thing was.”

  He shrugged sl
ightly. “Just thought I’d remind you of why you two shouldn’t be together.”

  “See?” Hunter pointed at Carter. “He admits that he would try to get you away from Robert.”

  “Okay, I would understand why Derek would want to help Robert, but why are you so involved?” I asked Hunter. “I don’t even know you.”

  “Call it boredom.”

  “Boredom.”

  He shrugged. “When you play with guns all day, it’s hard to come to a small town and just sit around all day.”

  “Alright,” Jack walked up, checking over his notes. “So, I’ve talked to everyone that witnessed the incident, and I’ve reviewed the Facebook footage-“

  “The Facebook footage?”

  Jack grinned. “Oh yeah. Joe caught the whole thing on camera. It seems to be a thing with his family, documenting all major events on Facebook for the whole town to witness. He even attached a little hashtag for you.”

  Robert groaned beside me. “Please tell me it’s not #HighSchoolSweetheartsForever.”

  “Nope,” Jack grinned. “It’s #TakeOutCorduroy.”

  “It’s Carter Roy,” Carter stressed. “I can’t help what my parents named me.”

  “Well, either way, you’re all trending on the town Facebook page.”

  “You can’t trend on Facebook,” Joe informed him. Jack turned to him with a raised eyebrow. “What? Everyone knows you trend on Twitter.”

  Jack shook his head. “Anyway, seeing as how this was all some elaborate mixup, and Mary Anne doesn’t want to press charges-“

  “Why would I?” Mary Anne grinned. “You boys bring in more foot traffic every time you start a fight in my bakery.”

  Jack smiled at her, giving her a little wink. “Since no one is pressing charges, you’re all free to go. Oh, and in case you boys are thinking about pulling another bank heist, just remember that you’re old enough now that the town will prosecute.”

  Robert shook the sheriff’s hand and came over to me. I sighed as I looked at my donuts and coffee on the ground. I didn’t have time to grab more. I had to get to work.

  “I’m really sorry about my brothers. They had this crazy plan-“