Fractured Minds (Rebels of Sandland Book 3)

by Nikki J Summers

  “Because even Satan himself would give that place a wide berth,” Zak snapped.

  Brandon held his hand up to shut Zak up. He was still stuck on the fact that I’d spoken to them and he needed more information.

  “So, you’re on friendly terms with them now? Since when? And why don’t I know about this?”

  “Because I don’t run everything past you.” Before all the shit with my uncle leaving prison, I would have, but things had changed. He was a family man now, and I had to take responsibility for my own shit.

  “Oh, I know that,” he said, sounding pissed. “Seen any long lost family members lately?” I blushed and instantly he dropped his gaze to the floor. He regretted what he’d just said. “Sorry, man. I didn’t mean that.”

  “It’s fine. And no, I haven’t. He’s gone.”

  Brandon raised his eyebrows and I could tell he didn’t believe me.

  “It’s true. All sorted. So… are you going to let me check out Brinton? Take a few photos and maybe even get you down there to see it for yourself?”

  “Finn, we trust you. If you think that’d be a good idea, go for it,” Ryan said.

  Brandon glared over at him, then back at me. He didn’t know what to think, but he wasn’t about to go against Ryan’s judgement.

  “Looks like we’re gonna be honorary soldiers for the night then, doesn’t it?” he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm, but when the tension in my shoulders eased up, he smiled.

  Ryan joined Zak where he sat with his laptop and the two of them became engrossed in watching some YouTube video. Obviously, this conversation had ended, and luckily for me, it had gone just how I wanted it to.

  I watched as Brandon got up and came to sit next to me on the sofa.

  “Something’s going on with you,” he said on a whisper. “You know you can talk to me, right? If you’re being forced to do this. If the soldiers are threatening you, you would tell me, wouldn’t you? You know I’ve got your back.”

  “I’m fine,” I whispered back so the other two wouldn’t hear. “Alice is safe. He’s gone. And I just want to make a contribution is all.”

  “You know I don’t believe you, but okay. I’ll let it go. But I swear, if those fuckers do anything, if they put one foot wrong, I will kill them. I don’t care how fucking psycho they are. When it comes to my friends, I get just as fucking crazy. And you are my best friend.”

  Brandon could smell bullshit a mile off, but he also knew what I was like and he didn’t want to push me. I appreciated it, because with everything going on, I needed to focus on what was important, and worrying about the reaction Brandon would have to the blackmail was not something I wanted to face.

  “I’ve got your back. Always,” he repeated and stood up, patting my back as he did. “More importantly,” he stated in a louder tone. “Where’s the biscuits? How do you expect me to drink my tea without a fucking biscuit to dunk? The service in this place is fucking shite.”

  It didn’t take much more convincing to bring them all on-board. I paid a visit to the old factory, took photographs and sent them to the lads. Within a few days, they’d all agreed and the messages were sent out to our ‘We’ve got you covered’ group to let them know when and where the next event would be held.

  Clarkson’s Plastics factory in Brinton Manor.

  I sent the evidence to the soldiers and as per their M.O, they replied that I’d done a good job and that they’d be in touch. I wasn’t in a hurry to see what video they’d send next, or to hear from them at all. Alice was still up north and safe. My uncle was being taken care of, I hoped. And I wanted to focus on something far more important. Tony had dictated the way my life had gone for so long, it was my turn now, my future.

  I’d stood at the end of her road and waited for her parents to leave. When I saw a car backing out of the driveway with both of them inside, I stayed in place by the hedge I was using to camouflage myself, keeping my head down and my hood up. They sped off down the road and I made my move, heading over to her house.

  I wasn’t as nervous this time, coming to see her. Sure, I still had butterflies, but they were the good kind. The kind that meant I was excited about how this would play out. She opened the door and grinned wide when she saw it was me. She looked stunning in a little tight crop top and joggers.

  “You look amazing,” I said, feeling myself getting tongue-tied.

  She looked down at what she was wearing and replied, “These are my comfies. I’d have made an effort if I’d known you were coming.”

  “That’s all the effort I need,” I replied, then blushed, realising I was staring at her tits, but it was really hard not to when she wasn’t wearing a bra and her nipples were poking through the sheer material. Fuck, I’d turned into one of those creeps.

  “You look good too.” She laughed, thankfully not taking offense at my ogling. “Smiling suits you.”

  “I have a lot to smile about these days.”

  I had one thing to smile about, but she didn’t need to know about the rest of the bullshit going on.

  “Are you coming in? I’m alone. Are you gonna be okay with that?” She waggled her eyebrows and I fought the urge to pick her up, throw her over my shoulder and run straight to her room.

  “I think I’ll survive,” I answered, stepping into her hallway and shutting the door behind me.

  She went to walk towards her living room, but I stopped her by grabbing her arm and asked, “Can we go to your room? Only, there’s something I want to give to you, and I don’t want to run the risk of your parents coming home and seeing.”

  She frowned playfully, and then walked back towards me.

  “Okay. Should I be worried? Are you going to show me your etchings?” She giggled to herself.

  “Something like that.”

  She started to walk up the stairs and I jumped up after her, like a lovesick puppy. I’d spent all night on this gift, and I really didn’t want to fuck it up.

  When we got to her room, she locked the door behind us and I sat down in the same spot on the bed that I’d sat in last time.

  “So…” She plonked herself down into the space next to me. “What’s up?”

  “I have something else for your memory box.”

  Instantly, she lit up like a kid at Christmas with her eyes going wide and sparkling. “I love that! What have you got?” Her body swivelled round to face mine, and she clapped her hands excitedly.

  “After I saw your cards, the Valentine’s ones, I kind of felt bad. So, I made you these.”

  I pulled out the stack of cards I had hidden in the front pocket of my hoody and passed them to her.

  “What is this?” she asked, turning the pile over in her hands.

  “You need to open them in order.” I grabbed the pile and turned them back around. “They’re my Valentine’s cards to you. Eighteen of them.”

  “Eighteen?”

  “Yes. One for each year you’ve been alive.”

  She sighed when I said that, and I knew I was onto a winner.

  “Where did you find eighteen different Valentine’s cards to buy in November?”

  “I didn’t. I made them myself.”

  “Of course you did.” She shook her head and laughed.

  I watched as she placed them in her lap and started to open the first one. Then she stopped, and with an apprehensive look on her face, she said, “Is it okay for me to open them now? In front of you, I mean?”

  “That’s why I brought them. If I didn’t want to watch, I’d have posted them through the door and done a runner.” She knew what I was saying was the truth.

  “I’m glad you didn’t,” she replied, and a small contented smile spread across her face and warmed her eyes.

  I was glad too. Being here and seeing how this affected her was better than any high. My body was tingling with the anticipation and my head was fuzzy with a feeling I couldn’t quite describe. Was this what love felt like?

  She opened the first envelope and her bro
w furrowed when she saw the drawing of an apple and a chocolate bar. She narrowed her gaze as she looked to the side at me.

  “I know everything you do has a special meaning, but I have no idea what this one is.” She held the card up as she spoke and I just shrugged.

  “Read it.” I knew it’d all become clear to her the moment she did.

  So she opened the card and read aloud.

  “You thought nobody saw you put that apple and chocolate bar into Elliot Small’s pocket when Brandon tripped him over in the school cafeteria. But I did. I notice everything about you. And now, I want to tell you all the things that make you special.” Her voice cracked slightly, but she carried on reading. “Reason number one, you do kind things for others, even when they don’t know it was done by you. You’re the most selfless person I know, and I love that about you.”

  She gasped and put her hand over her mouth. I could see the shine in her eyes. She wanted to cry, but she didn’t. Not yet. She took a deep breath, closed the card, and then without looking at me, she said, “That’s so sweet, Finn.”

  “Keep going,” I urged, eager for her to open the rest of them. “There’s seventeen more there that I worked on last night.”

  She beamed and placed the first card down on the bed next to her then moved to card number two. I’d drawn a gift-wrapped heart on the front, and when she opened and read this one, she started to choke up.

  “To everyone who knows you, you are a gift. The day Danny died, you put everything aside to be there for your best friend, Emily. At the funeral, I was watching you from the back and I saw you change seats to sit by Em and hold her hand, even though her dad asked you not to sit at the front. You didn’t care about breaking protocol, you wanted to support her. You always put others before yourself. You’re everyone’s rock, and I love that about you. But I hope, that one day, I can be that rock for you.” She sniffed and glanced over at me. “You give me strength even though you don’t realise it, Finn. You always have.”

  I shrugged my shoulders and huffed flippantly like it meant nothing, but hearing her say that made my heart swell and my throat close up. I don’t know what strength she thought I’d given her, but I’d take it.

  “I think I’m gonna be a wreck by the time I get to number eighteen,” she joked and placed card two with the first.

  The third one she opened had her smiling face beaming back at her, but I’d given it an Andy Warhol twist. There were about twelve grinning Effys staring at her from that card.

  “Don’t panic,” I told her. “This one’s a happy one.”

  She took deep breaths to calm herself, bit her lip nervously and then opened it to read aloud.

  “You have so many different smiles, and each one gives me butterflies. The gentle smile, when you think no one is watching and you’re smiling for yourself. But I see it. The sweet smile that makes your eyes sparkle. It makes my stomach flip over too. The laughing smile, when your whole face lights up. It sets my soul on fire. The genuine smile that you give to all your friends. I love that nothing about you is fake. But my favourite smile of all is the one I see when you see me. That’s my smile.”

  I fiddled nervously with my fingernails and started to second guess myself. Had I used the word love too many times? Were my words too soppy? Was I being a total loser?

  “I love your smiles too. I’m glad I get to see more of them these days.” She took a deep breath and moved onto card number four, clearly struggling with her emotions after opening and reading the first three.

  This one had a picture of her playing with Luna in the park on the front.

  “I love the way you draw her. You always capture her playful side,” she said as she touched the picture like it was the most precious thing she owned.

  “And yours too,” I said, nudging her, and she gave a happy sigh in response.

  “One of my favourite memories,” she read. “Was when I saw you in the park one day, playing with your dog. You didn’t see me and I was glad because I was enjoying watching you be so carefree. I loved the cute voice you used whenever she jumped up and the way you scrunched your nose up when she rolled around in the mud then shook herself and drenched you with it. You didn’t get angry. You never do. You have a patience and grace that makes everyone around you feel safe and loved. You have a way about you that makes everyone want to be near you, just so they can experience your light, even if it’s just for a moment. I’ve had more than my fair share of your light, and I pray that it never ends.”

  “It never will.” She sniffed, not even trying to hold back her tears now.

  I sat and watched her open card after card that told her all the reasons that I loved her. From the way she wrinkled her face up when she was thinking about something, to the compassion in her eyes when she was listening to others. The fact that she’d drop everything if someone needed her, and the way she stayed focused on her goals and never gave up. She’d never given up on me, and for that I would always be eternally grateful.

  When she eventually came to the last card, I felt emotionally drained, and yet, this was the most important one of them all. On this one, I’d drawn the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. Having a sister called Alice meant the story was as familiar to me as anything. We’d had several versions of the book in our house growing up and it’d always fascinated me. For this picture, I’d drawn the White Rabbit holding his pocket watch, checking the time.

  “I love this, Finn. I love all of it.” She was shaking and I wanted to put my arms around her, but I also needed her to read this last message. “Okay, here goes nothing. I’m a nervous wreck now anyway, but something tells me you’re gonna slay me with this last card.”

  I smirked to myself. One of us was getting slayed. I really hoped it wasn’t me. Then, I held my breath as she opened it up and began reading.

  “I’ve wasted so many years. Thrown away such precious time. Today that all comes to an end.” She frowned and looked up at me. “It doesn’t say anything else. I don’t get it.”

  “Look on the back,” I said, twisting my finger in the air as a sign for her to turn it around.

  “Okay. Today it all comes to an end…” She turned it round. “Effy Spencer, the sweetest, kindest girl I know… Will you be my girlfriend?” She stared at the words on the paper, blinking and breathing slow and steady. “Is this real? Do you really mean this?”

  I grabbed her face in my hands, forcing her to look at me.

  “Of course I mean it. Will you? Be my girlfriend, that is? I know we haven’t really properly dated, but––”

  I didn’t get to finish. She smashed her lips hard against mine to shut me up, and when she pulled away, we were both grinning like a couple of idiots.

  “Yes.” She nodded frantically.

  “Yes?”

  “Always yes. I’ll always say yes to you, Finn. I’d do anything for you.”

  I loved this girl more than anything in my pitiful little life, and I thanked God every day that she’d stuck around and waited for me. And now that I had her in my arms, I couldn’t hold back anymore.

  Softly, I placed my hand on her cheek and used my other arm to pull her closer to me. And while I stroked and caressed her cheekbone with my thumb, I kissed her. Gentle at first, but then, when I slipped my tongue inside her mouth to taste her, it was as if a switch was flicked on for both of us and our kiss turned more frantic and needy. Our tongues were greedy; massaging, tasting, loving. The way they entwined so perfectly together showed that we were made for each other. This just felt right. She felt right.

  We kissed as our breathing turned into panting, and then Effy wrapped her arms around my neck and swung her leg across my lap to straddle me. I grabbed her ass to pull her up closer, so she was sitting directly over my rock-hard dick, and she moaned and rubbed herself against me.

  Her hands were in my hair, tugging at the ends. Her lips moulded against mine. And her body; her perfect, beautiful body was pressed against me as we sat up on her bed, taking what
we’d longed for all this time. The way she rocked against me made me want to come right there, I was so turned on.

  I shifted on the bed, holding her tightly in my arms, and laid her down on her back. Then I crawled over her and held myself up with my arms. I stared into her eyes as she looked back at me with so much want I could feel it tugging at my heart, making it difficult to breathe. Her lips were swollen from where I’d kissed her like my life depended on it. We were both panting, trying to get our breathing under control but not wanting to break this spell.

  “I want you so fucking much, Eff. But I’m not going to rush you into anything.” I moved a stray wisp of hair from her forehead and placed a gentle kiss there.

  “I want you too,” she whispered back to me. “And I’m done waiting.”

  She grabbed the bottom of my hoody to pull it up and off. It wasn’t easy for her to do, so I pushed myself up to sit on the bed and helped her. Then, when I’d thrown it onto the ground, I turned back to face her, feeling like a wild animal; ravenous and ready to devour its prey. I wanted to savour every damn minute of this. Moments like these didn’t happen for me, but today it was all going my way. Every dream was coming true.

  She slid the crop top she was wearing up and then pulled it off over her head. I took a deep breath when I saw her for the first time, laying there in only her joggers. She was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. She took my breath away. She was bright, light, every colour there ever was, and the rest of the world was dull and grey compared to her.

  I was caught in a daze, but she pulled me out of it when she reached forward and ran her hand down my chest, sighing. I needed to be close to her and feel her warmth, so I leant back over her and kissed her slowly, moving my hips against hers and running my hands from her waist up to her breast. She arched her body, pushing herself further into me, and I touched her, memorising every inch of her skin as the priceless art that it was. The feel of her breasts against my chest as she wrapped her arms around me made me hungry for more. I needed to know this was what she wanted, because God knows I was desperate for her.