by Karen Rock
“Right.”
“Right.”
Daryl stood. “I’d better go check on Emma...make sure she’s really asleep.”
“Daryl.”
At her call, he stopped at the sliding door and turned. “You’re a good father and you will get through this.”
He nodded and trudged inside, leaving her alone once more. Did Daryl still care for her?
No takebacks, her sister’s voice whispered in her head.
Leanne had taken Daryl from Cassidy when she’d left him for the Bosnia assignment. She wouldn’t dishonor her deceased sister by taking him back again, regardless of possible residual feelings. She’d leave as soon as she opened the country store, regained her lost memories and found closure.
Daryl was reopening old wounds...feelings...and she suspected if she stayed long enough, she risked discovering she might still care for him, too.
* * *
DARYL SHIFTED HIS weight to ease his stiff back in the hard, upholstered hospital waiting room chair. He’d rather sit in a saddle for twelve hours than another minute in this torture device masquerading as a seat, but he’d accompanied his father to Joy’s biopsy to support him and wouldn’t be anywhere else. How much longer before they heard from Joy’s surgeon again? His pa was gray-faced and tight-lipped. It wasn’t the Loveland way to pry, yet his father’s silent suffering left him unsettled and searching for a way to relieve it.
Stretching out his legs, Daryl crossed one boot over the other and eyed the outdated magazines littering the square table before him. Coffee rings and Magic Marker doodles covered its scarred surface. Across the room, ferns drooped from hanging pots in front of a trio of rain-coated windows. The stale scent of body odor, disinfectant and old coffee had him breathing shallowly through his mouth.
“Want some coffee?”
His father shook his head and sat with his arms folded across his chest, stiff and still as a statue.
“Ran into Neil Wharton at the cemetery yesterday.”
Boyd swore under his breath. “I warned him not to approach you kids.”
“We’re not kids, Pa. Did the judge set a date for the hearing?”
Boyd drummed his nails on the chair’s wooden arm. “My lawyer’s working to get the request dismissed. No one’s disturbing my pa’s grave. He’s got a right to rest in peace.”
“Darn right. What about giving him a DNA sample?”
“No one’s invading my privacy, taking my DNA, least of all some con artist.”
They lapsed into silence. Boyd’s knee jiggled up and down as he shifted in his seat. The large hand on the wall clock ticked forward another minute.
“Shouldn’t be long now.” Daryl pointed to the clock. They’d checked Joy into the outpatient surgery facility an hour ago.
Boyd limited his response to a brief nod.
It hadn’t taken long for his new stepmother’s upbeat, caring personality to endear her to her stepchildren, despite generations of feuding. She’d become the matriarch the Loveland clan hadn’t known they’d needed until she stepped into the role. “Joy seemed in good spirits.”
Another nod from Boyd.
“Doctor looked like she knew what she was talking about.” In fact, the surgeon had talked so fast in her hurry to get to the operating room, Daryl caught only about every other word, but the ones he heard were reassuring. Joy would have only small scars and the biopsy results would take four to ten days.
This time a shrug answered Daryl’s remark.
“Pa.” Daryl angled his face until he made eye contact with Boyd. “It’s going to be okay.”
“Don’t know that,” Boyd said between clenched teeth. “Not for certain.”
Daryl clapped his father on the back. The overhead PA system paged a doctor to Labor and Delivery. “Don’t give up hope.”
Boyd’s brief laugh held little humor. “Been hoping for that woman all my life. Now that I’ve finally married her, I ain’t aiming to lose her.”
Daryl nodded. Boyd and Joy had been high school sweethearts until Joy’s parents conspired to break them up. Falsely believing Boyd had left for the service to avoid her, she’d turned to another only to discover Boyd never stopped loving her when he’d returned home to find her pregnant and engaged. They’d reconnected at a bereavement support group a few years back and dated despite their feuding children’s disapproval and schemes to end their relationship. They’d gotten hitched the summer before last and Pa had never been happier.
“You won’t lose her.” Daryl raised his voice over a wailing baby whose mother jiggled it beside the water dispenser.
“I waited too long...” Boyd lifted red-rimmed eyes to Daryl.
“To ask Joy out?”
Boyd raked a hand through his thick gray hair and nodded.
“When Ma passed, how come you didn’t seek her out?” Daryl and his father stood to allow the young mother to slip between them and the coffee table on her way out the door.
Boyd dropped heavily back in his seat. “Joy was still married.”
Daryl reached in his jacket’s deep cargo pocket and produced the two ham and Swiss sandwiches Cassidy had thoughtfully prepared. Boyd shook his head and Daryl stowed one before unwrapping the other. He closed his eyes in appreciation when he bit into the thick sandwich made with tomato and sweet-and-sour pickles, surprised Cassidy remembered his favorite combination.
She was one heck of a cook, too. With her pinkie on the mend, she’d been whipping up increasingly complicated dishes from faraway places, each attached to a harrowing story that enthralled his children. Emma still wasn’t eating nearly enough for his liking, and Noah’s school grades continued to plummet, yet Cassidy kept everyone’s spirits up with spontaneous activities and adventures.
Once they moved past their grief, would his family get back on track? He needed to provide them with a stable home and hid his grief as much as possible. He saved his darkest emotions for the sleepless nights he lay on the living room couch, staring at the ceiling, going over his marriage with Leanne, searching for the moment the fault lines appeared.
Or perhaps their foundation had never been strong. He’d married out of obligation, not love. Although he’d put Cassidy out of his mind and committed himself to Leanne, he saw now that she’d never completely left his heart. He found himself seeking her out after the children went to bed, her company like a balm he hadn’t known he needed, the awkwardness and strain between them easing a bit more each day. He hadn’t realized how lonely he’d been until Cassidy returned.
“Should have pursued her once she became single.” Boyd picked up his hat from the seat beside him when a mother and child sidled by and requested to sit.
“Why’d you wait?”
The woman beside Boyd pointed to a parenting magazine and asked him to pass it over.
“I wanted to give you kids some stability.” Boyd handed the woman the periodical. “Bringing someone else into the picture would have upset the apple cart.”
“It was pretty much tipped over at that point.” Daryl considered his adoptive mother’s addiction and mental health issues. She’d had some good days, mostly bad. The real problem was never knowing which you were about to endure.
Boyd nodded. “I wanted to get things back to some kind of normalcy for you kids.”
“But you denied yourself happiness in the process.” Daryl studied his pa’s hard-bitten face. He’d only really seen him cut loose and smile big when Joy entered the picture.
Boyd’s mouth worked for a moment before he clamped it shut.
“She’s going to be fine, Pa.” Daryl nodded at the door that led back to the surgical rooms.
“I may have wasted years we could have had together.” Boyd’s blue eyes flashed up at Daryl. Hard. “Don’t make that mistake, son.”
“What do you mean?”
“
I’ll leave that for you to determine.”
Just then, a nurse bustled into the waiting area and gestured for them to follow her. Outside a room labeled Recovery, the gowned surgeon met them, a surgical mask dangling around the neck of her scrubs.
“She did fine.” The surgeon smiled into Boyd’s relieved face. “She has a couple of small incisions that should heal nicely.”
“Were you able to tell anything?” Boyd stood with his hands clasped behind his back, his feet planted apart, as if bracing for an oncoming storm.
The doctor’s smile faded. “Not at this stage. The pathologist’s report should be in later this week or early next and Joy’s primary care doctor will call you with the results.”
“We just wait till then,” Boyd said heavily, almost to himself.
“Yes. Are there any further questions I can answer?” The surgeon’s head swiveled between the two of them as the silence stretched. White appeared around Boyd’s mouth.
“We’re all set, thank you,” Daryl answered, then turned to his father when the surgeon hurried to answer a beckoning nurse. “Pa? You okay?”
“Ain’t me I’m worried about.”
A nurse opened the swinging door to the recovery unit. “Mr. Loveland, if you’d like to follow me?”
Boyd lingered a moment. “‘Man plans, God laughs,’” Boyd quoted, his voice as gravelly and dark as day-old coffee. “Remember what I said. Happiness isn’t meant to be postponed.”
The door swung shut behind him, leaving Daryl staring at the laminate wood surface, turning over his father’s parting advice.
He couldn’t be encouraging Daryl to pursue Cassidy when he’d just lost Leanne...
Daryl’s thoughtless actions forced Leanne into a life, a marriage, she may or may not have wanted. He’d already made one Fulton sister miserable and wouldn’t do the same to another.
Besides, his situation with Cassidy was different from his father’s with Joy. Boyd and Joy wanted the same traditional way of life and shared similar goals of family and community. Cassidy’s dangerous, chaotic career, on the other hand, was at odds with the steady life he strove to provide his children. After barely surviving his early, preadoption years, he’d vowed to never put his children through the same kind of upheaval.
If God laughed while man made plans, he must be in stitches now. Cassidy had literally crashed back into his life, destroying it and the plans he’d laid. None of it made sense, least of all his growing feelings for the last person in the world he had any right to care about again.
CHAPTER SEVEN
CASSIDY PEERED DOWN at her sister’s handwriting while standing at the country store’s temporary particleboard countertop. She fought back a sneeze from the dust-filled air and tried to focus despite the whining sanders and varnish as Loveland men made the final tweaks on the remodeled barn. Two weeks had passed since she’d begun working on Leanne’s store and seeing it near completion filled her with both pride and melancholy. The notepad shook in her trembling grip. Leanne’s familiar script slanted neatly to the left, her lowercase i’s topped with circles, not dots. It was like looking at a ghost. Or hearing from one.
“It’s always been too late!”
Cassidy flinched as her sister’s voice returned to her, a bit of an argument they’d had in the white Jeep. Cassidy held her breath, waiting, hoping, straining for more, then released it in disappointment when Leanne’s voice disappeared.
Are you happy with the store, Leanne? She cast her eyes out the window, to clouds chasing each other across an azure sky.
With me?
One page listed the vendors contracted to supply an array of products like local lavender honey, homemade canned preserves and tote bags made from recycled material with the words Grow Love on them. Another sheet detailed specialty baked products to be made on premise, such as apple cider doughnuts, apple fritters and caramel-apple crumb pie along with services like pumpkin patch and apple-picking wagon rides, the petting zoo and a corn maze with “Fright Night” thrills planned for Halloween week. A florist would be supplying mums for sale, a woodworker carved benches, picnic tables and wishing-well planters, and a holiday craft fair would showcase local talent.
“Is your head spinning yet?”
Cassidy glanced up at Joy’s voice and returned her bright smile. “I think it’s about to fall off. Leanne had big plans.”
“She did indeed.” Joy surveyed her hustling stepsons. “Boyd says the remodel will be completed on time, but you still have a lot to organize. Should we push back the opening date? We only have a week to go.” Despite that converting the barn had been in the works for the past year, the final projects had come to a halt toward the end of summer, first with Leanne spending less time at home, then because of the accident. If it hadn’t been for the Loveland men picking up the pace over the last couple of weeks, they may have had to open late.
“I’ve contacted everyone on her lists. Now it’s just a matter of following through on the plans she left.”
“All twenty pages’ worth.”
“Give or take,” Cassidy laughed. “It’ll be worth it to see this place come to life.”
She eyed the cavernous space. The lofted, exposed beam ceilings, large windows and natural pine walls gave it a light, airy feel. Excitement mounted as she envisioned the built-in shelves filled with canned goods, bins overflowing with produce and a mini café where they’d serve smoked meat sandwiches and pumpkin soup. Leanne had loved fall. Cassidy planned on pulling out all the stops to keep her sister’s legacy alive and make the country store a success for Loveland Hills Ranch. If she was going overboard then so be it.
Joy waved a hand before her flushed face. “Is there a place to sit down? I’m feeling a little...”
Cassidy raced around the counter, grabbed Joy’s arm and guided her outside to one of the handcrafted rockers that’d arrived an hour ago. “How about some water?”
Joy nodded. “Thank you, honey.”
When Cassidy returned with a couple of bottles, she passed one over and plunked down beside Joy. “How are you feeling?” Joy’s biopsy results had indicated breast cancer, and she’d undergone lumpectomies last week to remove the tumors.
Joy sipped her water, then held the bottle against her forehead. “Fine. It was a straightforward procedure, but you can’t convince Boyd of that. He’s been fussing like I had open-heart surgery. I would have come over sooner to help except he’s been hovering nonstop. I finally had enough and threw him out!”
“Where’s he now?”
“Still hovering.” Joy rolled her eyes and pointed to a massive John Deere tractor where Boyd shouted up to Daryl.
Cassidy’s breath caught when she spied her ex behind the wheel. He was ruggedly handsome in Wranglers, work boots and a red-and-navy plaid shirt that accentuated his broad shoulders and dark coloring. A red ball cap shaded his face against the bright sun. Boyd hollered something and backed away, waving, as Daryl restarted the engine with a deep rumble. He expertly reversed the heavy machine and headed back to the fields to retrieve more of the hay bales he’d been stacking along the rustic exterior. When the mums arrived, she’d place them on top along with straw scarecrows and autumn wreaths.
It’d been nearly two weeks since Daryl’s apology, and despite her best intentions to keep her distance, she’d grown more comfortable around him as they spent time together sharing meals, catching fireflies with the kids or simply rocking on the front porch. The gruff cowboy’s tender, solicitous care touched her deeply. But he was her brother-in-law, and recently widowed. Completely off-limits. Yet a part of her longed for physical closeness with him, a feeling she’d been battling out of respect for her sister.
Boyd turned on his heel and strode their way.
Joy sighed. “So much for freedom. Is there anything I can do to help? Even if it’s just making phone calls?”
“I’m fine.” Cassidy smiled encouragingly. When Joy broke the news about her biopsy results, she’d asked for only two things: smiles and prayers. No sad faces, she’d warned, because she was going to beat cancer. Cassidy had been giving her both nonstop, her affection growing by the day for the courageous, warmhearted woman. “I’d rather you rest up.”
“Now you sound like Boyd.”
“You two talking about me?” Boyd’s deep blue eyes twinkled beneath his brown Stetson.
“Complaining is more like it.” Joy smiled affectionately at her husband and lifted her cheek when he leaned down for a kiss. “Cassidy needs my help, so shoo.”
“Actually, Emma, Noah and I are heading to the town hall to file the paperwork for Leanne’s charity.”
“The hat and coat drive?” Boyd extended a hand and helped Joy to her feet.
Cassidy nodded. “I thought it’d be nice for the kids to honor their mother with something official.”
Joy’s face creased in concern. “I’ve been worried about them. You haven’t told them about my...”
“No. We’re following your wishes.”
Joy’s features smoothed. “Good. How are they doing? I haven’t been able to spend as much time with them as I wanted, but once I’m healed, I’ll have them for sleepovers again.”
Sleepovers? As in, she and Daryl would be left alone in the cabin? A fluttery sensation began in her belly and spread to her chest. Listening to him toss and turn on the couch beyond her bedroom each night, with only a door and her conscience to separate them, was tough. Often, she’d press her ear against it, listening to Daryl’s private grief, battling the urge to comfort him. Without the children around, her resolve might disappear completely.
“Emma’s still acting out and Noah’s grades are borderline. I’m hoping if I get them involved helping others, it’ll help them, too.”
Joy beamed at her. “I don’t know what this family would have done without you, Cassidy.”
Her heart added an extra beat. No one had ever depended on her before, not personally. The press corps maybe... “They’re helping me, too.”