A Rancher to Remember--A Clean Romance

by Karen Rock

  He dropped his head in his hands and the note crinkled against his damp forehead. He’d wounded both Fulton sisters. Rather than wait for Cassidy’s decision, he’d doubted and betrayed her. Instead of addressing Leanne’s discontent, he’d simply tried appeasing it.

  He hadn’t deserved the love both women gave him.

  Did he deserve it now from Cassidy?

  She had to be as wrecked as he after reading the email. The urge to find her, hold her, comfort her, gripped him.

  Where was she?

  He returned to the note.

  I’m sorry for what you’re feeling after reading the email.

  His throat clamped tight. Typical Cassidy to think of him first.

  But know you did the best you could in your marriage. You were a devoted husband and an incredible father. Leanne’s unhappiness began long ago with a different father, one with good intentions, but bad choices. I wish he’d never singled me out, had never taught me to only be satisfied with being the best, had made Leanne believe she was special in her own way. She deserved better, but her role in your marriage shouldn’t be dismissed either. Please don’t beat yourself up, my love. She chose you, a wrong decision, but a conscious one. Your heart picked me, and I’m not sure you could divide it, no matter how hard you tried. I certainly couldn’t.

  His heartbeat ratcheted up. Cassidy called him her love. Was she about to declare it and a wish for their future?

  However, I’ve decided to take the assignment and am flying to Mexico as you read this note. What happened between you and Leanne showed me that a relationship must be entered into without reservation, without looking back or wishing for something, or someone else. I want to be certain we’re on firm ground and won’t have regrets. Right now, I don’t think I could ever take Leanne’s place. You deserve a marriage based on the same unconditional love you give everyone lucky enough to receive it. I’m sorry, more than I can say...

  Yours,

  Cassidy

  Daryl clenched his hand and the note crumpled into a ball. So, he thought, what he’d hoped would be the best day of his life had turned to crap. Cassidy was gone, putting her life at risk in a dangerous assignment. She might say she’s yours, but she’s not. Not yet.

  Hadn’t he always known this was the risk he was taking as long as he let himself fall in love with her again? That she might never be able to settle down with him? Ever?

  You pushed her too hard, he told himself. Pushed her away. Now she might never want a relationship with you, but at least you have Emma and Noah.

  With a groan, he lurched to his feet, trod heavily to the door and grabbed his keys. He needed his kids.

  And Cassidy. More than he’d ever thought possible.

  Minutes later, he strode inside the main house and found his children playing Monopoly with Sierra, Maverick, Joy and Pa.

  “Pa!” Noah toppled his chair as he bolted from it to reach Daryl. “Aunt Cassidy’s gone!”

  Daryl swooped his son up, then threw an arm around Emma, clasping her tight to his side.

  “I wanted her to stay forever,” Emma cried. “Why does she have a stupid job?”

  “It’s her dream,” Daryl answered, voice thick. “What she loves to do.”

  He looked up and caught his father’s grave eyes on him, Maverick’s frown and Sierra’s and Joy’s matching concerned expressions.

  “Doesn’t she love us?” Noah wriggled loose, and Daryl set him on his feet.

  “She can love both,” he assured them, tasting the truth as he spoke it.

  Cassidy was wrong. He didn’t love her unconditionally. If he had, he would have accepted all aspects of her work and tried to be a part of it. Instead, he’d tried to mold her to his insecurities, the anxiety that had him holding tight to those he loved rather than letting them be free to come or to go. Staying was always sweeter when it came without precondition, without expectation, without pressure...with only love.

  “Will she come back?” Emma sniffled.

  “Yes,” he vowed. Cassidy might not return for him, but she’d never abandon the children she loved as her own.

  “Son?” Boyd shoved back his chair. “A word?”

  Daryl hugged his kids, then followed his father onto the porch. They stood at the railing and stared at the dark sky. The night sounds echoed around them; the last of the crickets, an occasional owl, wind whirring through tall pines. It spun the wind chimes, and their hollow clang tolled inside him.

  “Cassidy stopped by on her way out and told us about you two.”

  Daryl gaped at his father. “Sir?” He’d dreaded telling his family about him and Cassidy, worried they’d judge him for not mourning long enough and moving on too fast. Those weren’t the actions of the “good” man he’d strived to be for his adopted family.

  “You’re a fool if you let her go a second time. Some might say it’s too soon, but you’ve loved that gal for years. Make it forever. Don’t throw away your chance with her.”

  Daryl stared at his father’s stern profile before he recovered enough to reply, “She left me.”

  “Go after her.”

  “You’ll be shorthanded.”

  Pa shrugged. “We’ll manage. Maverick’s shoulder’s good enough for ranch work at least. He’ll fill in until he’s cleared to return to bull riding.”

  “What if they clear him while I’m away?”

  “We’ll figure it out. No more sacrificing yourself to do the right thing.”

  “What?”

  “You’re a Loveland. You don’t have to go above and beyond to prove it.”

  “I don’t—” He cut off at his father’s head shake.

  “Should have talked to you about this long ago. Lovelands don’t pry, but I saw how much harder you pushed yourself than your siblings, how much you blamed yourself for mistakes, how you returned home from college instead of pursuing your dreams. We needed the help then, but I shouldn’t have accepted it.”

  “No, Pa. I owe you. What you did for me...”

  Boyd waved a hand, cutting Daryl off. “I can’t repay you for the joy you give our family. We were going through a rough time with Ma and the last thing I needed was another one to look after, but you were special. Saw it right off. Responsible. Determined. Resolute. I knew you were meant to be my son. The day my cousin brought you here was the luckiest day of my life.”

  Daryl’s chest tightened. “Was the luckiest day of mine, too.”

  “I wanted you to be part of the family, not part of the ranch hand crew. No more doing what’s ‘right’ all the time. If that means leaving home to court your deceased wife’s sister, then so be it.” Boyd cleared his throat. “I love you, son. You’re the best Loveland of all of us.”

  The “Clemmons” in Daryl evaporated, leaving him weightless. Buoyant. A Loveland through and through. “I love you, too, Pa.” He hugged his father, then reared back, surprised his tough-as-boot-leather parent shook. “Pa? What’s troubling you?”

  His father turned away, shoulders hunched.

  Boots stomping up the stairs diverted Daryl’s attention.

  “Hey, Pa. Daryl,” called Travis. “Is Cassidy around? I stopped up at the cabin, but no one was home.”

  “She left the country.”

  Travis’s eyebrows rose. “Was that a planned trip? She didn’t look in shape to go anywhere.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “She had a minor car accident earlier. Refused medical care, but she was shaken up. She regained some of her memory and confessed to causing the accident with her sister. Believes she killed Leanne.”

  Shock locked up Daryl’s joints. “Why would she think that?”

  “Said they were arguing and she wasn’t watching the road. Missed a turn and went off the road. I talked to our forensics team again and the skid marks prove it was an accident. S
he won’t be charged.”

  “She’s already punishing herself,” Daryl bit out, imagining Cassidy’s anguish, the blame she must have heaped on herself after remembering her and Leanne’s last moments. The words in her note returned to him. I’m sorry, more than I can say. Guilt drove her abrupt exit to Mexico; not him.

  Travis stomped back down the stairs. “Got to get back to work. We’ve got a lead on the cattle rustlers. Daryl. Your car is at Tim’s Auto Body. Keep me posted about Cassidy. She’s a good one. Don’t let her get away.”

  Daryl stared after Travis as he disappeared into the dark. A choking sound snapped his attention back to his pa. “What’s got you upset, Pa?”

  “Me,” spoke a soft voice behind them.

  Daryl whirled, along with Boyd, to spy Joy’s approach. She slipped an arm around her husband, who buried his head in her hair and held her tight against his side.

  “My cancer’s back and it’s spread.”

  Her news struck Daryl in the chest. Blunt force. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be,” Joy whispered, fierce. “I’ve got a lot to live for. I’m not going to leave this one after I finally found him again.” She caressed the side of Boyd’s face.

  “Wouldn’t let you, even if you tried, darlin’,” Boyd said, hoarsely. “Wherever you go, I’ll follow. When we go, we’ll go together and not before.”

  Daryl strove to speak over the lump in his throat. Here was the kind of courage, the love, the devotion he should have given Cassidy. And now she was headed into danger, alone, thinking the worst of herself. He ached to hold her and reassure her, to take away the blame she must feel and replace it with love.

  “We can’t control how much time we have with each other, but we have a say in what we do with it. You got me, son?” Boyd wiped his eyes with his sleeves and peered at Daryl.

  Daryl nodded. Boyd would stand by Joy’s side to fight cancer just as Daryl should have accompanied Cassidy on her dangerous assignment. He’d been a coward to refuse her offer, letting his hang-ups, his insecurities, get in the way of love.

  “And we’ll watch the kids while you’re away—however long you need,” Joy offered. “I don’t start chemo until after Thanksgiving, and my new iron pills are boosting my energy.”

  “Thank you,” Daryl choked out, overwhelmed.

  “So why are you still standing here?” Boyd demanded. “Go be with your woman, however she’ll let you, and be darn grateful for that.”

  “Yes, sir!”

  Maverick blocked Daryl’s dash inside the house. “Going somewhere?”

  Daryl counted backward from ten, eyeing his interfering older brother. “Out of my way, bro. I’ve got to say goodbye to the kids and find a flight to Mexico.”

  “Way ahead of you. I was here when Cassidy stopped by.” Maverick thrust a printout at Daryl.

  His eyes widened when he read the flight number for a plane departing to Mexico in just two hours.

  “Glad to see I didn’t waste my money.” Maverick’s lips curved in his typical “I got this” smile and he stepped aside.

  “Anyone ever told you you’re annoying?” Daryl said through a grin.

  Maverick shrugged. “Lost count.”

  “How about ‘Thank you’?”

  “Not nearly enough.”

  Daryl grabbed his brother in a one-armed hug. “Thank you.”

  “Better hurry,” Maverick called as Daryl headed inside. “Don’t want to miss your flight.”

  Daryl eyed the clock, his jaw set. “Not a chance.”

  * * *

  CASSIDY CREPT TOWARD a dark building for her 3:00 a.m. meeting with a Nuevo León cartel member. Through contacts she’d cultivated in off-grid ventures this past week, he’d agreed to speak only on condition of anonymity, and alone. The hairs on the back of her neck rose. What if someone tipped off the vicious gang?

  In such moments, her thoughts centered on safeguarding the story, ensuring information she’d collected made it out, even if she didn’t. Now she pictured Emma’s face, and Noah’s...how devastated they’d be if anything happened to her. As for Daryl, she hadn’t dared let herself think of him since leaving Carbondale or risk losing her focus for missing him.

  A shadow stirred and detached itself from the building. The outline of a large man materialized. “Senorita! Over here!”

  She forced herself to still the nerves tightening inside her and hurried across the cracked asphalt. Beneath her long-sleeved shirt, the wire she wore stuck to her clammy skin. “Approaching target,” she whispered to the crew listening in a van on the next street. Technically, she’d hadn’t broken the agreement. She’d arrived alone. Like she’d told Daryl, though, this wasn’t her first rodeo. She’d be a fool not to arrange for backup if things went south.

  Sickly sweet fumes poured off her contact as he waved her through an open door. Tequila. And not the good kind. The man was around six feet with a ropy build exposed by a ragged muscle shirt and cutoff shorts. His feet were bare. A Jaguar Warriors insignia tattoo, his cartel’s symbol, adorned the side of his neck.

  “Alejandro?”

  “Sí.” He shoved a thick lock of dark hair from his forehead. “You have the money?”

  She nodded. And a gun... “Thank you for meeting me.”

  Normally, she didn’t engage in “checkbook journalism,” but the chance to meet with a cartel member was too good to pass up.

  Alejandro waved her to a rickety chair before dropping onto a scarred stool. An ominous metal hook dangled from the ceiling, a bare light bulb beside it. A length of stained rope was strewn across the earthen floor. Otherwise, the rest of the small, one-story adobe building was empty.

  “Tell me how you became part of the cartel.”

  “Aren’t you going to record me or something?” Alejandro’s bloodshot eyes narrowed.

  “Right!” Hurriedly, she yanked out her cell phone. A frustrated exhale bulged her cheeks. She’d caught herself making similar mistakes on this trip, part of her not as present as needed when every spare thought swerved Daryl’s way.

  She glanced at the screen, noted the lack of signal for the sixth day straight and accessed her recording app. Hopefully her team could hear her through her wire.

  “How old were you when you joined the cartel?” she asked, switching to Spanish.

  Alejandro’s eyes flicked to the doorway behind her, then swerved back. “Ten.”

  “That’s young.”

  He shrugged, and his gaze slid from hers.

  “Why join? Did you have a choice?” She eyed a spider, as thick as her pinkie toe, skitter up the wall beside her.

  “My father was in it.” Alejandro crossed himself and his lips moved silently.

  “It’s tradition? If your father is a part of the cartel, you’re expected to be, as well?”

  “Not expected. No.” Alejandro checked out the doorway again and a silent alarm shrilled inside her. Faint, but insistent.

  “If your family is in it, then you should be, too?” she tried again.

  “The Warriors are your family. You aren’t expected to be a part of it. You just are.” He fished a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered her one.

  She refused with a head shake. “Jaguar Warriors is a business organization and a family.”

  Alejandro clicked on his lighter and held it to the cigarette clamped between his teeth. “Both. Yes,” he mumbled.

  “It must be hard to turn on your family.” She struggled not to follow his darting gaze over her shoulder.

  A stream of smoke curled from Alejandro’s nose. “No one betrays the family.”

  “But you’re here. Tell me why.”

  “I’m no traitor,” he growled.

  At a sudden noise at the door, she shot from her chair, gun in hand.

  “Drop it, senorita,” hissed a compac
t man wearing a ball cap and a suit. He ambled inside. Behind him a couple of muscle-bound sidekicks hulked. One had a gun trained on her. The other slammed the door shut and turned the lock.

  “No need to get violent,” she said calmly. Don’t panic. Easy breaths. “I’m only here for information. Let me go and I promise not to speak of our meeting.”

  The man in the cap guffawed, a menacing laugh picked up by his followers. “Nothing will be said, that I believe. Now. How did you get Alejandro’s name? Who ratted us out?”

  “I protect my sources.” She fought to keep her arm locked and steady, her .38 trained on the leader’s chest. Sweat rolled down the side of her face and dripped to her collarbone.

  “It’s so much more enjoyable when they fight first, sí?” The leader had a barbed wire smile. Metal-capped teeth and sharp canines. He gestured to the rope. “Secure her to the hook.”

  “Anyone who moves gets shot.” She swung her pistol from the leader to his armed sidekick, then back again. “Drop your weapon, face the wall and stay still while I exit. Got it?”

  More laughter.

  “Move!” she ordered the men, but a click next to her temple destroyed her hopes of making it out without a fight. The cool metal of a gun pressed into her flesh. Alejandro was armed. She’d been ambushed. Her heart beat so hard she felt it in her toes. Had her team been caught, too? If not, would they arrive in time to save her? She sent a silent prayer for them.

  “No. You move!” Alejandro growled in her ear, pointing to the hook with his free hand. “And drop the gun.”

  Crap.

  She thought she might vomit on the spot. She willed herself to be brave, to be strong, to let this ordeal end.

  But they were going to kill her. She knew who they were, what they’d done, and suddenly she knew—they were going to kill her. As soon as the cartel identified the traitor in their midst who’d set up this meeting, that gun would blast off her head.