Reborn Series Box Set (Books 1-3.5)

by S. L. Stacy

  “That’s really kind of you,” he says, casting me a wary glance over his wine glass, “but my grandparents are coming up from São Paulo to visit us, so we’ll probably stick around here.”

  “Well, that’ll be nice. Your cousin Gwen is going to be a junior.” Switching gears again, Mrs. Elliot turns back to me. “She’ll be starting to look at colleges soon, and she’s interested in science, too. You can tell her all about the bio program at Thurston.”

  Just like that, the imaginary pedestal I’ve constructed for myself disintegrates from under me. I go toppling over, jolted back to reality like a satellite crashing back to Earth. All I can do is stare at Dana Elliot as she blinks at me expectantly. I would speak, but all the air’s been sucker punched out of my lungs.

  “Honey?” I see her pink lips moving, but her voice sounds far away, as though she’s talking to me from the other end of a long tunnel. “Are you alright, dear? You look so pale suddenly.”

  “I’m fine,” I finally manage to grind out, getting up. “I just...I’m sorry. I need some air.” Spinning on my heel, I race from the room before anyone can try to stop me.

  Chapter 10

  “Compass points you anywhere, closer to me”

  Distantly, I hear chairs scrape back.

  “What was all that about?” Dana’s voice floats from the dining room, confused and concerned.

  “I don’t know.” Heavy footsteps sound over the hardwood floor, and I imagine Aidan heading for the door. “I’ll go talk to her.”

  “No!” That’s Jimmy, his voice unusually high and panicked. The footsteps hesitate. “I mean...no, that’s okay. Let me go talk to her, first. Siobhan?” he yells out after me. “Siobhan!”

  Ignoring them all, I slip out the front door.

  Outside, the evening sky is even darker than usual due to the cloud cover. More storm clouds are rolling in, lightning flickering in the distance. As I fly down the porch steps, the first few drops of cold rain pelt my bare arms. It was already a dreary day, now my mood is amplifying it ten-fold. I know that, for some of the more powerful of my kind, an abrupt change in temper can unleash a hurricane even on the calmest of days. I never thought my emotions had that much effect on the weather. I guess I was wrong.

  Or maybe it’s just I’ve never...felt this much before.

  Oh, sure, I’ve been angry before, the kind of anger that sets your blood boiling. But this pain...this is different. Anguish tears through me, splitting me open. Pain, fear, regret, and anger all rolled into one. And this time, any rage I feel is directly solely at myself.

  “You lousy,” I spit, trudging across the damp lawn, “horrible, disgusting, wretched bitch.” Mother was right. I am evil. Unnatural, evil, and irredeemable. If the Elliots knew what I truly am—a demon wearing their daughter’s pretty face, and the same one who left her for dead in Pandora—they wouldn’t dare look at me with such love and affection in their eyes. They would cast me out, probably recruit the entire town to chase me from Laurel with their knives and pitchforks. Kill the beast!

  This side of town is more secluded than where Jimmy’s parents live, the spacious backyards giving way to a wooded area behind the neighborhood. The massive, old trees hold out their twisted branches to me like a waiting embrace. I run straight for it.

  Wind howls, leaves and branches scraping overhead. Once inside the forest, I slow to a walk, trampling over mud and damp, fallen leaves. A rich, earthy smell permeates the air around me, the scent of rain and growing things. Long, wet strands of my hair cling to my cheeks and neck like leeches; I smooth them back, then put my head in my hands. I let out a strangled sob that’s quickly swallowed up in a crash of thunder. Tears pour down my face along with the rain, thick and warm and real.

  Eventually, I feel a hand on my shoulder, a gentle press of cold through the thin material of my soaked dress. “Apate? Hey. What happened back there?”

  I flinch away from Jimmy but drop my hands, turning to face him. I’ve lowered my disguise for him, so he can see me in all my miserable, mascara-bleeding-down-my-face glory. “I can’t do this.” I don’t know whose voice this is. It can’t be mine. It sounds so helpless and broken. “They’re nice people, and this is...this isn’t right. They deserve to know the truth about what happened to their daughter.”

  “I agree,” Jimmy says quietly, nodding. “We can go back and set things right. But first, I think we need to help you calm down. Can you do that? Can you stop all of...this?” He waves a hand around us, indicating the churning, dark gray sky, the endlessly falling rain.

  I shake my head. “It’s my fault.”

  “Not really. Victoria’s the reason we’re out here—”

  “No.” I swipe my thumbs under my eyes in a futile attempt to dry my tears. “I mean the reason Siobhan is stuck in Pandora in the first place is my fault. Victoria knows that. That’s why I took her up on her scheme. I thought this was my chance at redemption. But it’s just making everything worse. I should have told you. I’m...sorry.”

  Holding my breath, I wait for Jimmy’s response. Our eyes meet. I expect to see disappointment, at the very least, in his, hatred and anger over my betrayal at the worst. Instead, I see a grim sort of acceptance. Or maybe it’s more a lack of surprise.

  “But you already knew that, I see.” I frown. “Because I’m just that awful, of course I would have had something to do with it.” Lightning shudders above the treetops, followed by a crack of thunder.

  “No. No, of course not.” He snatches up my hand, squeezing it. “I saw it in your eyes when we were talking to Victoria. They looked...haunted. Guilty. I figured you knew more than you were letting on, I just wasn’t sure what. I knew you would tell me when you were ready.”

  “You suspected something, but you came with me anyway?” Although I yank my hand back, some of my emotional defenses begin to lower, the pounding rain easing up along with them. “Why? You should be angry with me.”

  “I...am,” he admits carefully. “I’m not in love with Siobhan, like you seem to think I am, but I do care about her. She’s my friend. But I care about you, too. And you must have some serious regrets to stir up a storm like this so quickly.”

  “I do regret what happened.” Glancing down, I realize my cute, black ankle boots are covered in mud, probably ruined, the gauzy dress sticking to my damp skin like a pink slime. “I snuck into Pandora after her to make sure my brother got out safely. I knew the Gammas were having trouble keeping the portal stable, that they weren’t going to be able to keep it open for much longer. It was either her, or me. I chose me.”

  Looking back up, I take a step closer to him. “I was born bad, Jimmy. It’s what I do, who I am. What I’ll always be.”

  Jimmy’s jaw is set. “I don’t believe that for a second.”

  I sigh, exasperated. “You don’t have to believe it for it to be—”

  “That you were born bad, or any way at all,” he continues, talking over me. “We don’t come into this world bad or good, just...clean. Blank. Like a new notebook. It’s our experiences that fill up the pages, that shape who we are, what we become.

  “Now, don’t get me wrong. I think you’re selfish.” His hazel eyes burn into me with an intensity I’ve never seen in them before. It’s like there’s a war going on in his head, a battle of emotion over what exactly he feels for me. There’s frustration there, and maybe something a little like hatred. At me, for what I did to his friend. And a little directed at himself, too, over the other emotion I see igniting there, trying to usurp all the others. I don’t even want to put a name to it. I’m surprised he has any left of it for me at all. “But I also think in your own, twisted way, you try to do right for the ones you love, like your brother. Even if that means mowing over everybody else who gets in your way.

  “You’ve been through a hell of a lot in your life, and maybe part of the reason you are the way you are is that few people have ever stuck around to help you. To remind you that you aren’t a bad person, that you are wor
thy of understanding and patience. And love. So, yeah, I guess I could have let you down today, let you come here alone, without an ally, so when this deluded plan for redemption finally came crumbling down around you, you would have to deal with it alone. But I just couldn’t do that.” In two swift strides, he closes the rest of the distance between us. “I love you, Apate. And whether you believe it right now or not, I’m sticking around.”

  “I…” At a loss for words, I say the only thing I can manage at this point. The truth. “I love you, too.”

  “I know.”

  Under different circumstances, I would have rebounded with a snappy comeback. But he doesn’t even sound smug, just relieved, and I’m cold, tired, and soaked through to the bone. So instead, I step into his arms and let them circle around me. In this endless sea of dark despair I’ve created for myself, he is both anchor and lighthouse, keeping me grounded, lighting my way back to shore. To home.

  As we pull out of the hug, he moves his hands to my face, smoothing my hair back as we kiss. It’s an urgent, messy, desperate kiss, tasting of Merlot and cold rain and salt from my own tears. I claw at his chest, drawing him closer to me, running my fingers over the damp material of his t-shirt. When we finally release each other, we’re both breathless, staring at each other with a mixture of surprise and wonderment. There you are, his eyes seem to say to me. Hello.

  I lift an eyebrow, puzzled. Come on. It’s not like this is the first time we’ve met. You know me.

  “I feel like I do now,” he says out loud, planting a kiss on my knuckles.

  The rain has finally stopped, the wind dying down to the occasional chilly breeze. Around us, the woods stretch silently, perfectly dark and still.

  “We need to go back.” I entwine my fingers through Jimmy’s, tugging him gently forward. “They’ll wonder why their daughter ran like a crazy person out into a storm. Plus, I have to stop them from drinking the poppy tea.” I’m not sure what the next step is, but all the lies, the deceit, stop now.

  Jimmy nods. Hand-in-hand, we take off running, making our way back to the house.

  Chapter 11

  “You know that I’m no good”

  I wish I could tell you this was a story of redemption. Main character does a bad thing, finds an opportunity to make up for said bad thing and seizes it, goes through some personal growth, sees the light, the error of her ways, makes a different—the “right”—decision this time, and bam. She finds Jesus. Gets her redemption and is irrevocably changed for the better.

  The problem with Olympians is...we’re a very old species. Pretty much set in our ways. We don’t really like change. Least of all me.

  It’s not that I was lying to Jimmy during our moment in the woods. As we trekked back to the house through the mud and sodden grass, I had every intention of sneaking the canister of Olympian tea leaves back into my bag and telling the Elliots...well, if not everything, at least that Siobhan was not okay, was in fact the opposite. I would have told them magic and mayhem had infiltrated their tiny planet and claimed their daughter as well. We would have joined forces, Olympian and human, to bring Siobhan safely home. Avengers assemble!

  I read a poem once in an anthology Ares had in his office. Why my boss had a book of human poetry I’ll probably never know. To look good in front of his colleagues, I guess. Anyway, it was one I always liked. “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I/I took the one less traveled by.” When the path to my redemption forked, I wish I could say I made the riskier choice, the bolder move.

  Two roads diverge in a wood. And, like always, I take the easy way out.

  ***

  “Wait out here for a second.”

  Jimmy and I are standing at the Elliots’ front door, bathed in a yellowish glow from the porchlight. Although the heavy oak door is propped open, it’s quiet inside, the only other light coming from the kitchen.

  “Alright.” Hands in his pockets, Jimmy makes a move toward one of the wicker patio chairs. “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, I just...I’d like to talk to them alone first.” A revelation like this is a job only a goddess can do. Jimmy being there would unnecessarily complicate things. “Although, I may need your help later if they need more convincing. They trust you.”

  He shrugs. “I don’t know about that.”

  “Well, you’ve known them for longer,” I reason. “Okay. I’m going in.”

  “I will await orders.” Saluting me, he plops down in the chair.

  Opening the screen door, I head on inside. Alone.

  I take off my boots at the door. No need to trek mud and leaf litter through the house. I tweak my illusion of Siobhan to look a little damp, a little tousled, since she has just been caught in the rain and all. The house is maddeningly quiet. Earlier, her parents were about ready to run out into the storm after their daughter. So where is everybody now?

  “Hello?” I feel a bit like I’m shouting in a library.

  “Siobhan, honey?” Dana’s soft, feminine voice floats from the back of the house. “Is that you?”

  “It’s me.” I continue tentatively forward, drawn to the warm glow coming from the kitchen like a moth to a bug zapper. Nothing’s wrong. Despite the uneasy silence from just a few moments ago, the Elliots are clearly still here. All is well.

  Still, it feels like all my good intentions are about to go up in flames.

  “Your father went to bed. He was so tired. All that good food and wine, I guess.” Dana giggles. Something about her tone of voice pricks the hairs on the back of my neck. She sounds relaxed. Maybe even a little drunk. Oh, fuck…

  It could just be from the wine, I remind myself. Like she said.

  I take a deep breath before I enter the kitchen, and that’s when I know. The air is as sweet as if someone ripped open a bag of potpourri. The scents of citrus, lavender, and poppy beckon me forward.

  “Sorry about earlier,” I say as I go in. Mrs. Elliot is perched at the island, sipping from a steaming mug of tea. She gives me a lazy smile, her eyes slightly glazed over, like blue sea glass. “I was just...all that talk about Christmas, and inviting Anna and Jimmy...I kind of freaked out.” I sit down across from her. “I’m not even sure how serious Jimmy and I are. You know?”

  “Oh, that’s fine, honey.” Dana sips. I sit on my hands to keep myself from ripping the World’s Greatest Mom mug out of her pale, dainty hands. “Your father was worried, but then...I calmed him down. This tea is delicious, by the way. And a miracle worker. I just feel so...so…”

  “Relaxed?” I fill in for her.

  “I just know everything is going to be fine. You know that, right?” She reaches across the table, extending an expectant hand to me. Steeling myself, I free one of my hands and clasp hers. Her grip is strong, at odds with the baby-soft smoothness of her skin. “Everything is going to be just fine.”

  My eyes start to water. It’s not part of the illusion, part of the plan. “I know.”

  “Oh, Vonnie. You’re upset.” Releasing my hand, Dana reaches up, flicking away my tears with her thumb. “What’s wrong?”

  I shake my head. Where do I start? I’m too late. The Elliots have already sampled the tea. And, although it doesn’t commit them to anything—I could still take it back with me, if I wanted to—I realize now how foolish I was being, thinking there was a different way out of this. That I could provide a way out of Pandora for Siobhan, a path toward redemption for me.

  Her parents aren’t a part of this. They’re human—they can’t possibly be. If I shed my disguise, they’ll think they’re going nuts. Tomorrow morning, they’d just blame it on too much wine.

  I can’t upset Dana. Either of them. What can they do about their daughter’s disappearance? Call the police again? The cops are about as useful for this situation as an umbrella in a hurricane. And I can’t do much to help things along. Easing the Elliots’ worries was my assigned task and that, as far as Victoria will be concerned, has been completed. Dana is currently sitting here in a drugged stupor. Missio
n accomplished.

  “Nothing.” Carefully, I lower Dana’s hand from my face, threading my fingers through hers. I give them a squeeze. “I just...I love you, Mom. I want you to know that. And Dad—I love him, too.”

  “Oh, honey. I know.” She grins. “And we love you. More than anything.”

  Withdrawing my hand, I get up, walking around the island. Dana turns to face me as I sit beside her. This time, I take both of her hands in mine and catch her gaze, holding it steady. She looks a bit startled, then seems to give in, returning my stare, unblinking.

  “No matter what happens, I want you to remember two things. That I love you. And that everything’s fine.” As I speak, I watch her tea-clouded gaze glaze over further, until her eyes are two milky pools, the color of melted blue icing. “You may not see or hear from me for a while, but I’m just busy with school. I am fine.

  “And I can’t make it home for Christmas this year,” I add, just to cover all possible bases for the next few months. “Victoria’s family has invited me to celebrate with them this year. I’d like to go. You understand. Right?”

  Dana nods. “We’ll miss you, but I understand. You are fine.” Her smile is thin, wispy, dazed. I let go of her hands, lowering my eyes at the same time to break the trance. That little trick was another I wasn’t sure I’d be able to pull off. You have to be a pretty powerful Olympian, an Elder, to hypnotize a human like that, but I guess the tea really lowered her guard.

  I only hesitate a moment before throwing my arms around Mrs. Elliot’s stooped, bony shoulders. Her hands settle on my back, giving me a gentle pat. I squeeze her, hard, a few more tears escaping down my cheeks. “I love you, Mom.”

  “I love you, too,” she says again, her arms tightening around me. For a moment, I bask in the embrace, pretending she really is my mom. In her arms are warmth, love, patience. Protection.

  Eventually, I have to let her go. As my hands fall to my sides, my gut aches, my heart crumbling into millions of tiny pieces. This is what has been missing from my life, what I deserved growing up as a child. What my own actions have cost Siobhan.