The Careless Boyfriend

by Erika Kelly

  Chapter Twelve

  Knox soared, her hair flying around her face.

  “Flip,” Gray called.

  But she hadn’t gotten enough air, so she dropped back down and, this time, sprang off the trampoline even harder. Arms pumping, she urged her body higher.

  “Come on, Knox. Do it.”

  Coming back down, she punched the surface with both feet and took off. There you go. Hurling herself forward, she performed the most awkward flip of all time. She landed on her back, bounced, and started cracking up.

  “You have the grace of a puppy running on ice.” Gray bounced onto her trampoline from an adjoining one, making her flop around. He kept jumping, his torso straight as an arrow before twisting in ways no human body should go—more proof of his insane core strength and stamina.

  “Stop.” Unable to take being tossed around, she crawled to the edge, turning just in time to watch him execute some quick, twisty maneuvers.

  He kept going, jumping ridiculously high, bending his legs and turning sideways, then rotating once, twice—oh, my God, a third one?—before landing and doing it all over again. Watching him, her chest got tight, and her pulse flickered in her neck.

  He was…everything. Powerful, confident, kind, thoughtful, protective…and she wanted him. So fiercely, her whole body seized with it.

  Tonight, he’d found her alone in the bunkhouse. He’d brought her burgers and fries from Skeeter’s, and they’d eaten them outside in the purple twilight. When she’d mentioned she hadn’t exercised since the day she’d left Maui, her routine of surfing and yoga destroyed along with her dresses, he’d brought her to the training facility.

  Bounding onto the trampoline nearest her, he curled up tightly and did three fast flips in a row before landing on his back. He held out a hand. “Come here. Let’s look at the stars.”

  “We’re indoors, genius.” But she lay down beside him anyway.

  “For a creative sort, you’re not all that imaginative.”

  “I think it has something to do with the fact that you filled my belly with greasy fries and burgers and then made me shake it all up on the trampoline.”

  “I haven’t seen you laugh since I crashed into your living room. I call it a win.”

  “You, Gray Bowie, are pure win.”

  He rolled onto his side, hiking up on an elbow. “Tell me more about my awesomeness.”

  She loved being with him like this, when it was just the two of them alone, no cares, no worries. “I think you’re my most favorite face in the world.”

  “I know you’re mine. Always have been.”

  Oh, Gray.

  “What’s that look for? Do I make you uncomfortable when I say things like that? Because I spent a lot of years shutting it down, and I don’t want to do that anymore. But I know you don’t feel the same way, so if it makes you uncomfortable, I’ll stop.”

  She rolled to her side and faced him. “What do you mean, ‘you know I don’t feel the same way?’ Are you sick in the head? Gray, you are seriously the hottest, smartest, kindest, most handsome man on the freaking planet.”

  “Well, yeah.” He gave her a smug smile, and she poked his ribs. “But that doesn’t mean you’re attracted to me. Attraction isn’t intellectual. It’s visceral. It lives in the body, not the mind.”

  Underneath that lazy smile and sleepy eyes lay an alertness that phrased an unspoken question. And the idea that Gray Bowie lived with that kind of doubt hurt her. “You’re not giving the mind enough credit. How we see the world comes from our experiences.”

  “What does that have to do with chemistry? You’re either attracted to someone or not.”

  “What if your mind shuts down even the possibility of that attraction?”

  “Why would it do that?”

  “A bunch of reasons.”

  “Like?”

  “Like…maybe you couldn’t imagine that the guy would ever be interested in you, and so your mind doesn’t list it as an option. Life does a number on us, Gray, and it twists our perceptions.”

  “What’re you saying?”

  He wanted her to say it out loud. He deserved that. “I’m saying that I never imagined in a million years you’d see me as anything other than a hot mess.”

  “But you weren’t a hot mess. Knox, I don’t know where you got that idea. Cady and her friends envied your sense of style. It killed her that you owned Robert so completely that she could strip naked and still not get his attention.”

  “What now? Who stripped naked?”

  “Remember that night you told me to go find Robert?”

  “I remember a hundred of those nights. Which one?”

  “You might’ve asked me a hundred times, but I only went once. I found him at Kevin Bowman’s house. He was having one of his usual parties, the whole place jammed with people, everyone wasted. Robert was there. Of course, he was the life of the party. And Cady was grinding on him.”

  “And he let her?” A prickly heat spread through her. She’d always believed Robert had been true to her. “When was this?”

  “Beginning of senior year. She had her hands all over him, whispering in his ear.”

  “And you just stood there and watched him cheat on me?”

  “How many times did you ask me if he was fucking around on you? You had no idea what he did when he was wasted, and I was sick of hearing about it, so I let it play out. To see what he did. Anyway, something she said got his interest, so he followed her into the room off the kitchen. I saw her dig around in her purse and hand him something.”

  “What a bitch. She gave him drugs just so she could be with him?”

  “Yep, and he didn’t even look at it, just popped it in his mouth. Then, she pushed him back onto the couch and straddled him. Pulled off her top and bra.”

  “You never told me this. I can’t believe it. Why would you not tell me?”

  He held up a finger. Hang on. “I got my answer, and I knew if I didn’t leave right then I’d smash my fist in his face, so I turned to go. But then I heard him say, ‘Ya done yet?’ And she goes, ‘Oh, honey, I’m just getting started.’” Gray raised his voice to sound like a lusty woman.

  “Cheesy.”

  “And Robert said, ‘Good, now finish by yourself.’ He got up and knocked her on her ass and said, ‘You think I’d touch you when I have Knox? You’re out of your fucking mind.’”

  “He said that?”

  His smile faltered, and he seemed to search for something in her eyes. “I never went looking for him again. He never cheated on you.”

  Knox closed her eyes, doing a full body scan for any residual emotion where Robert was concerned. Nothing. “I was so messed up. My obsession with him…God. I wanted so desperately for him to be normal. I wanted him…”

  “To be there for you, like he used to be.”

  “I thought I could save him, and it made me a hot mess. It’s just…my circumstances were so different from yours, you know? In my mind, it wasn’t even a possibility that you could be attracted to someone like me.”

  “Well, hopefully that kiss cleared it up for you, because I’m still attracted to you, Knox, and I’m not going to bullshit you about it. The question is…” He trailed his fingertips along the inside of her forearm. “Are you attracted to me?”

  Goosebumps exploded along her arm, racing up to her neck, and cascading down her body, but she wouldn’t let Mr. Smugness see. “Please. We’re pals, nothing more.” But he wasn’t stupid. He had to hear the tremor in her voice.

  “Hm. Interesting.” He leaned over, looking into her eyes. “I had no idea your eyes were black. Oh, wait. They’re dilated.” He gently brushed his fingers over her collarbone, his thumb teasing her pebbled skin. “Are you…attracted to me?”

  She squeezed her thighs together. “I mean, you’re okay and everything, but…” Her expression said, Meh.

  “That right?” He shifted closer—but not quite touching.

  His body heat, his scent, that intense
look in his eyes…God. She tried to act nonplussed, but it didn’t work. Heat rushed up her neck, and desire pulsed between her legs.

  “Let’s test it. If you’re not attracted to me, this won’t take but a minute.” He lowered his face into the crook of her neck. “Do me a quick favor? Inhale. Real deep. Get a lungful of my pheromones.”

  “Shut up.” She tried to push him, but he was solid as granite.

  “I just want to see if my scent works for you. Go on, breathe me in.”

  “You’re such an idiot. Get off me.”

  He lifted his head, bringing his mouth right to her cheek. “I’m conducting an experiment, and I’m going to need you to stay very still. Quit squirming.” His lips brushed across her cheek—barely touching—until he reached her jaw line. Then, he glanced up at her. “Okay, that’s fascinating. I’d hoped for some pink, but you’re beet red. That’s way beyond blushing, sugar buns.”

  “Okay, we’re done here.”

  “Not yet.” He gently cupped her jaw. “There’s one last study.” The moment their gazes met, the mischief turned into pure, unadulterated lust. “This is the one that counts.” He brought his mouth over hers and kissed her.

  Everything inside her turned creamy and hot. She wanted to slide her hands through all that thick, unruly hair, wanted to feel his hard, muscled body on top of hers.

  But fear had a grip on her. It’s Gray. She didn’t want to know such extreme pleasure, get attached to a man who thrilled her, comforted her, wanted her, and then watch him walk away.

  They didn’t have a future. Anyone could see that. What would happen after he left for his first competition? Got back into his familiar world of traveling from one country to another, one event to another?

  She could have one night with him, maybe two. Three, four, what did it matter? Her heart and soul would get engaged, and then he’d be gone.

  Gray pulled away, the pad of his thumb on her mouth, looking utterly crestfallen. “It’s okay.”

  What’s okay?

  “I was just messing with you.” He started to roll away from her, and she realized she’d zoned out, let her fears stand on the mountain of her insecurities and plant a victory flag.

  She grabbed his shoulder and yanked him back. His big, hard body fell half on top of her. God, did it feel good. More. Her hands threaded through his hair. “Gray.”

  That was all it took to unleash him, just the sound of his name drenched in urgency and need. His mouth opened over hers, and he licked inside, his big hand clamping down on her hip and drawing her closer. He kissed with such fervor, she got swept away, the undertow so powerful it drowned her insecurities. She clutched his broad, powerful back. He feels so good.

  His hand slid underneath her, caressing down to her bottom and then squeezing with such lust she literally writhed against him.

  How had she ever thought he lacked passion? Holy smokes did he have it—and what a heady feeling knowing he had it for her.

  When he cupped her breast, sensation burst so high and bright it actually hurt. She needed him, needed more. And he gave it to her. His hand slipped under her blouse, his palm splayed flat on her belly, and he caressed up her ribcage, mindless of the buttons that ripped free of their bindings and flew off.

  Shifting her onto her back, his big body loomed over her. He lowered the edge of her lacy bra and closed his mouth over her nipple. Electricity ripped through her, making her arch off the trampoline. He sucked hard, tongue lashing. When she crashed back down, she hitched her leg over his hips, drawing him down to connect the parts of their bodies that were made to join. His tongue pulled, flicked, and she grabbed fistfuls of his hair, holding him to her.

  Cupping her breasts, he drew them together, thumbs flicking her nipples, all while his erection rocked against her belly. He watched her, his expression heavy with need and a desperate question. You want me?

  “Yes.” The single syllable came out a breathy whisper.

  His hand coasted down, pushed beneath the elastic waistband of her leggings, and curved between her legs. Her hips pumped, need climbing into desperation.

  A finger grazed her clit, and she tipped her head back on a cry. He ran gentle circles over her hard bud. “Oh, my God, Gray.”

  His hand pulled out, and he grabbed the waistband of her leggings, yanking them down, taking her panties with them. Jacking up her knees, he spread her thighs, and the next thing she knew, his hot, wet mouth covered her, his tongue licking her into a pulsing, burning frenzy.

  Clutching fistfuls of his silky hair, she made sounds she’d never made in her life, but she didn’t care. Lost in sensation, she slammed her hips against his mouth.

  The climb toward ecstasy had her hips twisting, her toes curling. Electric heat drenched her body, pleasure reaching such an unbearable height she had to close her eyes to witness the explosion of a star, its fiery particles soaring through her. He stayed with her until she collapsed on the trampoline and let out a long, satisfied breath.

  When all her pieces gathered back together, making her whole again, she opened her eyes to see Gray’s smug expression. “What?”

  “Nothing. Just pleased with the results of my study.”

  “You ass.” Laughing, she shoved him off, but her heart was pounding, and her chest got tight.

  Everything’s fine. Chill out.

  She couldn’t calm down, though, as unnamed fears churned, gaining momentum, building into a full-blown panic attack.

  What’s the matter with you? Get a hold of yourself. You’re fine.

  But she wasn’t fine at all. It had taken years to build a good, sturdy wall to keep her heart safe, and Gray—this generous, sexy warrior—was crashing through it.

  She had no protection from him.

  And when it went sideways…

  God, she didn’t even want to think how devasted she’d be.

  The moment Gray stabbed the sweet potato, steam wafted out. He dragged the tines of his fork across it to let it cool down.

  Knox. Every time he thought of her, it tripped his nerve center, sending a rush of sensation through him. He could still feel her soft skin under his fingertips, smell the floral scent in her hair.

  He’d captured the sounds she’d made, trapped them in a little corner of his mind, just so he could replay them whenever he wanted. He’d seen Knox happy, sad, angry, frustrated, embarrassed…he thought he’d seen her every expression.

  But he’d never seen her come. Never seen her eyes roll back in her head, jaw slack with pleasure, lust making her cry out in sheer ecstasy.

  It had been awesome—all the way up until she’d come down from her high, and she’d shut down on him. And he wanted to know why.

  Maybe she thought she didn’t deserve him or some shit like that. She seemed fixated on the idea that, because he lived in a big house, and she’d grown up in a trailer, somehow they weren’t suited. Like he gave two fucks about where she lived or how much she had in her bank account?

  He was crazy about Knox Holliday. Now, more than ever.

  “What’s that stupid expression for?” Brodie came into the kitchen and went straight for the refrigerator, jerking it open. Jars rattled, as he pulled out a bottled water and twisted the cap.

  “I was just imagining your face when the dude puts the gold medal around my neck.” Gray scrunched his features like he was bawling.

  “That was cold.” He tipped the bottle toward his brother. “And beneath you.” He wandered over to the island. “What’s that?”

  “What’s it look like?” Like they didn’t eat sweet potato on a daily basis in this house.

  “Why’re you eating it at…” He shot a look at the rooster clock over the stove. “One in the morning?”

  “Because I’m hungry?”

  Brodie stretched his arms out on the counter. “Know where I’ve seen that expression before?”

  “In the mirror every morning when you think about me getting the job done for you?” He could only joke because Brodie had s
topped caring about the Olympics a long time ago.

  “That would be incorrect. And petty. I see it on Fin and, now, on Will. Little red cartoon hearts popping out of their chests every time they think of their women.” Brodie’s lips twisted in disgust. “I don’t get it. Fuckin’ Fin’s been with one woman his whole life. One.” He shuddered like he’d just been offered the brains of a dead antelope. “And Will. What happened to him?”

  “Delilah’s cool.”

  “Yeah, but you don’t have to get all domesticated over her. Keep her in the friends-with-benefits zone. She lives here, runs the restaurant. He can see her whenever he wants. Why lock her down? For life?”

  “Because he doesn’t want anyone else.”

  His gaze snapped over to Gray. “You say that like you understand.”

  Gray gave a one-shouldered shrug.

  “What…” His brother straightened, tapped his water bottle on the offending shoulder. “What was that?”

  “Nothing. People fall in love. That’s the way of things.”

  “No, that’s the direction society herds us in. That’s what movies and books and conservative politicians tell us is the way of things. The truth—the real truth? Is that we’re programmed to fuck. Which results in procreating. Then, we’ve gotta hang around till the kid’s three, maybe four, before we can move on again, spread our seed far and wide. It’s evolution. Look it up.”

  Thankfully, the curl of Brodie’s lip let Gray know he was just messing with him. “Why do you like to grind my gears?”

  His brother tipped the bottle to his mouth. “Because your ears get all red.” He drained half of it, then dragged the back of his hand across his lips. “And it’s cute as fuck.”

  “So, where does love fit in this brilliant evolutionary theory?”

  “Love’s transitory.”

  “Is that right?”

  “Of course. By nature, feelings don’t last. You get pissed at someone…it fades. You win an event, you’re elated…gone a few hours later. Same with love.”

  “You ever stop loving Dad?”

  Brodie’s eyebrows slammed together in a scowl. “We’re not talking about familial love. We’re talking about romance. And, I can tell you from experience, romantic feelings don’t last.”