In Harm's Way

by Owen Mullen

  Derek shot her a look. She ignored him, walked into the lounge and spoke to her sister-in-law. ‘So, Monica, how’s the baby doing? How’s Alison?’

  ‘You mean, Alice. She’s great. Can’t imagine life without her now and it’s only been three months. Didn’t want to leave her with the sitter tonight. Gavin had to drag me here, didn’t you, babe?’

  His half-hearted smile said he was less happy with the new arrangement than she was.

  From the side of his mouth, Derek said, ‘Get the kid’s name right, for God’s sake.’

  Gavin kissed his sister’s cheek, catching alcohol on her breath. ‘How you doing, sis?’

  Mackenzie shook her head, her lip trembling, on the edge of tears. He patted her hand. ‘We’ll get a chance to talk. You can tell me all about it.’

  Blair topped everyone up and made a toast. ‘To Adele!’

  They raised their glasses. Mackenzie drained hers faster than anybody else and Derek felt his chest tighten. She was off and running. No stopping her. Monica handed the birthday girl a present which was obviously perfume. Adele opened it, pretending to be surprised. Derek whispered to Mackenzie. ‘Where’s ours?’

  ‘I…I forgot to bring it.’

  ‘Oh, Jesus Christ. How could you forget?’

  ‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It slipped my mind.’

  ‘What did you get her?’

  She didn’t answer and he knew she was lying. It hadn’t slipped her mind. There was no birthday gift. She hadn’t bought anything. It was going to be another one of those nights.

  The Gardiners had only been months living in the house. This was the first time Derek had been here. Adele said, ‘Shall I give you the tuppenny tour or would you prefer to wait ’til later?’

  ‘Now. Absolutely.’

  They trailed around, listening to a blow-by-blow account of the decorating decisions – why they’d gone for this rather than that; how something had spoken to her and she’d known it was right; and even more boring tales about what they’d decided against. But it was nice. Expensive and understated. Mackenzie wasn’t good at coordinating colours and fabrics and didn’t have an eye for it, so most of the stuff in their house had been chosen by Derek. At the table, he weighed the heavy cutlery in his hands. The bottom of the dishes would be stamped Jasper Conran, or some such. And the wine hadn’t come from a supermarket either, though by the way Mackenzie was knocking it back, it may as well.

  It had to be said: they’d done all right. Not as all right as him, but still. He leaned across the dining table to Gavin. ‘What’re you driving these days?’

  ‘Got myself a Peugeot this time.’

  ‘Saw it when we came in. Smart.’

  ‘It drives well and there’s a lot more space for Alice and her caravan. Every time we go over the door it’s like a full-blown military exercise. What about you? Still the BMW?’

  ‘No, got rid. Doesn’t make sense to hold on to them too long. Struggling to see past Audi at the minute, the A5 in particular.’

  Gavin couldn’t have cared less. Cars weren’t a big thing with him. He had other priorities and besides, they were already stretched on the mortgage. In the past Derek had offered him a deal. He’d rather do without his help and didn’t want to owe him anything, or feed his ego.

  ‘Good, is it?’

  ‘Better than good.’

  ‘I’ll take your word for it.’

  Derek ignored the sarcasm. Gavin was a wanker. But at least his wife was sober.

  Monica’s question sounded innocent enough, except it wasn’t. She knew exactly what she was doing, raising a subject Mackenzie and Derek Crawford were divided on: he wanted kids, she didn’t.

  ‘When’re you going to start a family, Mackenzie?’

  ‘Not everybody feels the need. Some people think using a baby to fill what’s missing in their lives is selfish and irresponsible. Can’t say I disagree.’

  Monica started to reply and stopped. Mackenzie took a packet of cigarettes from her bag and felt Blair’s hand on her shoulder. ‘Sorry, new rules. Adele’s idea. No smoking in the house, if you don’t mind.’

  Monica wasn’t ready to give up. ‘But isn’t that what marriage is about at the end of the day?’

  ‘Not for me.’

  The new mother didn’t hide her disapproval. ‘All I can say is having my daughter has been the single most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.’

  Mackenzie took a mouthful of wine. ‘Good for you.’

  ‘It’s funny, suddenly life has more meaning.’

  ‘Judging by his face I’m not convinced my brother agrees. You’re not the first woman to have a baby, you know. Been done before.’

  These days Monica was better at dishing it out than taking it. ‘No need to be rude. I was just making conversation. Didn’t mean to be – ’

  ‘Nosey. You’re crowing about having a baby and fishing to find out why I’m not. I’ll tell you why. You have to fuck to get pregnant. I hear it’s part of the fun, though I can’t swear to it.’

  Everyone stopped talking at the same time. Mackenzie wasn’t finished. ‘I wonder who Gavin was thinking about the night he got you pregnant.’

  Derek said, ‘Mackenzie, stop it! Stop it now!’

  His wife reached for her glass and knocked it over; wine stained the white tablecloth, some of it dripping off the edge onto the new beige carpet. Blair appeared with kitchen roll to wipe it up. ‘No harm done.’

  But he was wrong. The others realised what Derek already knew: Monica was being a tactless bitch. And Mackenzie was drunk. She struggled unsteadily to her feet.

  Adele said, ‘Where are you going? I’m just about to serve.’

  ‘To the loo. If that’s okay with everybody?’

  When she left, Adele voiced what they were all thinking. ‘She’s my sister and I love her, but she’s out of control. She needs help. We can all see she needs help.’

  ‘I’ve tried, believe me I’ve tried. She won’t listen.’

  ‘How do you put up with it?’

  Gavin rounded on his wife. ‘Well done, Monica. Really well done. You just had to rub it in.’

  Blair glanced guiltily at Adele – she’d warned him, hadn’t she? ‘It’s my fault for not slowing the pace.’

  Derek disagreed. ‘No, it isn’t. She got half-pissed at lunch today. Didn’t take much. She wasn’t straight to start with. We had a stand-up row in Buchanan Street. Almost came to blows. And there was a man waiting for her.’

  Adele dropped her napkin. ‘Not again!’

  Blair couldn’t keep irritation out of his voice. ‘Again? What do you mean, again?’

  ‘You know. We all know. And I’d prefer we don’t discuss it in front of Derek if you don’t mind. He is her husband, after all.’

  Derek said, ‘It’s no secret. She told me herself.’

  Blair wouldn’t be put off. ‘She was seventeen – a kid – seduced by a married man. It was a mistake. People make them. Or hadn’t you heard, Adele? Are you going to hold it over her head for the rest of her life? My God! No wonder she drinks.’

  His wife dismissed the criticism. ‘There was more to it than that, Blair. Sorry, Derek. You were saying.’

  ‘Claims this one is following her.’

  Adele sighed, ‘She hadn’t been in contact recently so last week I telephoned. Told me the same thing.’

  ‘Didn’t believe her, did you?’

  ‘Of course not. What did he look like?’

  Derek shrugged. ‘Young. Younger than me, anyway. He was wearing a coat. It was black, that’s all I remember. There wasn’t time. Mackenzie was creating a scene. People were staring at us.’

  ‘How awful.’ Adele glared at her husband. ‘Blair seems to have forgotten how often she had Mum and Dad at their wits end. Disappearing for days. Not coming home. And when she finally did, falling in the door looking like she’d been dragged through a hedge backwards with some dope-head in tow. Hoped that was behind her when she married you.’

 
; ‘So did I.’

  ‘That was ten years ago. Give her a break.’

  Adele spoke to her brother. ‘You remember don’t you, Gavin?’

  Gavin and Adele were born two years apart. Mackenzie was the ‘baby’ of the family. Growing up the girls had been close. Adele, especially, had been protective of her young sister. That changed when Mackenzie hit her middle-teens. By then, Gavin had left university and was working in London. Because he wasn’t living at home, he’d tended to only hear about Mackenzie’s misadventures later. And by all accounts she’d been a handful, enough for her father to nickname his daughter ‘the enemy within’. Around then, the relationship between Adele and Mackenzie deteriorated and had never recovered. Things had got better in the three years since she married the much older Derek, though tonight it looked like Mackenzie was on a rocky road.

  Her brother wondered why.

  He answered, a note of undisguised censure in his voice. ‘I do. And I also remember we weren’t exactly angels at that age, either. Blair’s right. Give her a break, that’s ancient history.’

  Adele wasn’t surprised. Gavin was like Blair, always taking Mackenzie’s side. Tonight was no different. She turned to Derek. ‘But she was with you, why would he be there?’

  ‘Think she intended to meet him. Me asking her to come to lunch got in the way. She was in a funny mood all morning. Started an argument over nothing. Threatened to leave me.’ He toyed with his napkin. ‘How many times have I heard that?’

  Blair wasn’t convinced. ‘Wait a minute, let me understand this. A guy’s waiting for her when she’s out with you, her husband. She quarrels so she can walk away and join him? Mmmm. Bit far-fetched, isn’t it? Buchanan Street’s probably the busiest street in Glasgow. He could’ve just been – ’

  Derek cut him off. ‘The cheeky bastard waved to her. He waved twice. The drinking’s one thing, this is something else. I’ll tell you, I’ve had it. I’m past caring. As far as I’m concerned she can go wherever she likes with whoever she likes just as soon as she likes. I won’t stop her.’

  ‘But she was off the booze for a couple of months, wasn’t she?’

  ‘Yeah, Blair, she was. But there was a reason. That’s when she started going out at night by herself. Took an age getting ready. When I asked where, she wouldn’t tell me.’

  Monica’s lips tightened. ‘How terrible for you, Derek.’

  He shook his head, reluctant to say more. ‘You don’t know the half of it. One time I followed her and saw her getting into a guy’s car.’ He could’ve said ‘just like yours, Blair’.

  Adele was shocked. ‘Right on your own doorstep?’

  Blair questioned his brother-in-law. ‘Why didn’t you stop her?’

  ‘It would’ve meant a scene. We’ve had enough of those. And I didn’t want the neighbours to know what a fucking mess we are. Although they’ve probably sussed that.’

  ‘You think it was the man you saw today?’

  ‘What else is there to think?’

  The way it was said Blair got the impression he was singling him out.

  Adele lifted her wine, thought better of it, and set it down again. Alcohol was at the root of what they were discussing. ‘I suspected she was going off the rails again when she stopped calling me. Should’ve spoken to the stupid bitch then.’

  Derek said, ‘It’s the booze, the booze’s to blame. Even when she isn’t drinking it has a hold on her.’

  Adele disagreed. ‘Don’t defend her. She’s never grown up. Doesn’t realise how lucky she is. You give her everything. We were so pleased when she found you. Until then – ’

  Footsteps on the stairs stopped her in mid-sentence. Monica glanced anxiously at Gavin. Her marriage had been settled and secure, very different from the Crawfords. Now it was in trouble and her stupid comment that had kicked the whole thing off hadn’t helped. Why couldn’t she just have played the game instead of having a dig? Then again, Mackenzie hadn’t been slow to come back at her. But she had an excuse, she was drunk.

  Mackenzie spoke from the hall without coming into the room. ‘Don’t stop talking on my account. In fact, I’ll make it easy for you. Blair, would you call me a taxi, please? I’m going home.’

  Blair took her arm and led her back into the lounge. ‘Let’s all calm down, shall we?’

  ‘I don’t want to calm down. I want to go.’

  He smiled and put his arm round her waist. ‘Of course you do but there’s no need for that. Rows happen in every family. At the end of the day, we’re all friends.’

  Mackenzie leaned her head on his shoulder. ‘You’re my friend, Blair. Don’t care if I never see the rest of them again.’

  Jealousy got the better of Derek; he threw his napkin on the table. ‘And they feel the same. I’ll get your coat. I’m sure it would’ve been a lovely meal. Sorry it’s been spoiled. Thanks for inviting us.’

  Mackenzie snarled at him. ‘Not with you. I’m not going anywhere with you.’

  Adele tried to reason with her. ‘What’s Derek ever done except look after you?’

  Crying had streaked Mackenzie’s face with mascara. She glared hate at her husband. ‘He knows.’

  Blair said, ‘Storm in a teacup. Put it behind you. Don’t have any more to drink tonight and you’ll be okay. C’mon.’

  ‘I won’t. I won’t be okay. None of you believe anything I say.’ She ran her hands though her hair. ‘I’m being stalked for fuck’s sake, while you sit discussing babies and cars and rubbish! None of you do anything. None of you!’

  Monica spoke under her breath. ‘Drama queen.’

  Mackenzie heard her. ‘You bitch. You total bitch. Know what? Forget it. You’re right. He’s my lover. Hear that, Derek. My lover.’

  Adele spoke slowly, trying to calm her sister down. ‘Mackenzie, we all want to help. It’s just that… you and I need to talk more. You need – ’

  Mackenzie turned on her, tears brimming in her eyes. ‘I need what? Rehab with a bunch of pathetic losers? No thank you. And as for talking to you, you’ve got a short memory.’ She spoke to the others. ‘Six months ago I phoned Adele and asked her to come and get me. And what did she do? She hung up.’

  Adele pushed back. ‘The next day you couldn’t remember talking to me.’

  ‘But I tried, and you wouldn’t listen. I remember that well enough. You weren’t there for me then and you’re not there for me now. So you can take your concerned-big-sister-act and go fuck.’

  It was kicking off again. Blair liked his sister-in-law more than her husband. He repeated what he’d said in the hall. ‘Families are a nightmare. I’m on your side, Mackenzie.’

  ‘You are, they’re not. They’re on his side.’

  Gavin stepped in. ‘That isn’t true. We all love you. Look, sit down and we can talk it through. Adele, why don’t you get everyone some coffee?’

  Derek lost patience. ‘You’re wasting your time. Get her the taxi, Blair. Let her go.’

  * * *

  Adele walked Derek to the door. He pulled his coat round him. ‘I warned her not to spoil your birthday. Tomorrow she’ll have blacked out the whole mess. Wish I could do the same.’

  She forced a laugh and kissed him on the cheek. ‘Don’t worry about it. I’ve had as many birthdays as I can handle. You look after yourself. We’re here if you need us. I’ll call and see if I can get through to her.’

  ‘It’ll take more than that. I think she hates me, Adele. Days go by without her saying a word. And as you heard, we don’t sleep together.’

  ‘Oh, Derek, I don’t know how you stand it. At times she makes me so angry I want to slap her. But she isn’t well. I get so frustrated I forget alcoholism is an illness. It changes people. Keep trying to get her to accept she has a problem.’

  ‘No chance. And as usual, I’ll be a bastard. Honestly – whoever this guy is – he’s welcome to her.’

  ‘You don’t mean that.’

  ‘I bloody do.’

  * * *

  After De
rek left, the mood in the dining-room was subdued. Monica went into the hall to call the sitter, leaving the others quietly toying with their drinks, asking themselves why families were so dysfunctional. Tonight’s drama was the latest, not the first. The twenty-year age difference between Mackenzie and Derek had made them an unlikely pairing from the beginning. But they weren’t the only couple with problems. Blair swirled the wine in his glass. ‘Don’t suppose anybody’s hungry, are they?’

  Adele snapped. ‘Oh, for God’s sake. How can you even ask that?’

  His wife was angry because he’d sympathised with her sister. Lately, she found something to be upset about in almost everything he said or did.

  ‘I only meant that there’s a perfectly good meal in the kitchen. Seems a shame to let it go to waste.’

  Gavin came in on his side. ‘Actually, I haven’t had anything since lunchtime. I’m starving.’

  ‘Bowl of soup do?’

  ‘Soup would be fine.’

  Adele seemed to enjoy criticising their sister and Gavin thought he knew why – it was about Blair. Her husband was always ready to give Mackenzie the benefit of the doubt. Too ready, maybe. Perhaps because he was attracted to her or maybe he was just being kind to a woman he’d known more years than he cared to recall. Either way, Adele was jealous, and it showed. She said, ‘Her behaviour is inexcusable. She’s not a child anymore. We should stage an intervention when she’s sober. Get her to face the truth about her drinking and the damage she’s causing.’

  Gavin wouldn’t commit to the idea. ‘Wouldn’t be the first to have a problem, but an intervention?’ He shook his head. ‘Easy to guess how she’d react.’

  ‘How? How would she react?’

  He smiled a tight smile. ‘The same way anybody would, she’d dig her heels in. Better if one of us has a quiet word with her.’

  ‘You mean me. You mean it would be better if I had a quiet word with her. Well, I’ve already tried. It made no difference.’

  ‘She’s our sister, try again.’

  Blair put a bowl of soup on the table in front of Gavin. ‘And when you do, go easy on her.’

  ‘What do you mean?’