Hate Sober

by T. L Smith

  “I can feel you staring,” he says with his eyes still closed. “Am I still too pretty?” he asks, opening his eyes as a blush creeps up over my cheeks.

  I forgot I’d said that.

  Shit! I was even playing Monopoly by myself like an idiot.

  “You are, even this early in the morning.” I moan, covering my mouth with the blanket. He chuckles next to me as his dark eyes lock onto mine.

  “You are, even more so.” He brushes my hair back, and I want him to kiss me. I want to kiss him back, but instead, I pull away and stand.

  “This place is new,” I say, looking around. It’s homier, the couch we’re on is gray and very large. He has wooden floors, with a large rug under a coffee table in the middle, with his television, which has been on all night, hanging on his wall.

  “I bought it for us.” I stop looking and stare back at him. “It’s closer to your work.”

  My mouth opens as I lock eyes with him. “Us?”

  He nods. “That other place was mine. And it’s not somewhere I want to live with my wife.”

  “You don’t have a wife anymore,” I say as he gets up from the couch and stands, so he’s taller than me. His shirt is crinkled, and he’s wearing shorts. I eye him up and down as he looks at me.

  “I’m hoping I will.”

  “I need to brush my teeth,” I say. “Can you take me home?”

  “You have a toothbrush in the bathroom. Let me order us breakfast, then I will take you wherever you want to go.”

  “As a date?” I ask him.

  He leans down, touches my nose, and smiles. “Whatever you want to call it.” Then he walks off.

  I find the bathroom easily. It’s beautifully elegant with its gold accents and white marble flooring and cabinetry. An unopened toothbrush is on the counter, which I open and use to brush my teeth. I look back into his room, where I woke up last night, and see there’s a brand-new bed. This one has four posts and it’s chrome. He’s kept the same vibe with black bedding and wooden floors. Turning to the closet, I open it to see his clothes, then, as I look around more, I notice some of my things. I must not have retrieved all my clothes when I moved out of his place. My fingers drag across the dress I wore the first night we went out together and I smile.

  “I see you found the closet,” he says from the doorway, which he’s leaning against.

  “I was going to shower.”

  He nods his head. “Your underwear is in there.” He points to the dresser, then he turns and heads back out. I open the drawer to find all new underwear, in my size too. Heading to the shower, I quickly wash and get changed into some of my older clothes I haven’t seen for ages. When I walk back out, Gunner’s at the table with the food all ready and he’s reading a newspaper as I sit in front of him.

  “Didn’t know people still read them,” I say while reaching for the coffee. He beats me to it and pours it for me.

  “I do. There’s loads of real estate listings, which helps for the business.” He closes it, and I look at the table. There’s waffles, pancakes, bacon and eggs, all laid out on it.

  “Couldn’t choose?” I ask, reaching for the pancakes first.

  “I don’t know what you like,” he says it with scrunched up eyebrows. “I should know what you like, Everly. I should’ve known everything about you. For this, I apologize.”

  “Yep.” I don’t disagree with him.

  “So, you like pancakes?”

  With a nod of my head, I add some maple syrup, then I slice into them and quickly pop the bite in my mouth.

  “What’s your favorite meal?” he asks.

  I take another drink of my coffee before I answer him. “Indian. I love butter chicken. Could live on it for the rest of my life.”

  “Naan bread?” he asks, smiling.

  “Cheesy and garlicky, please.”

  “Tell me your most hated food?” he asks, and I notice he’s not eating, so I say something.

  “Are you not eating?”

  “I don’t eat breakfast.”

  I look at all the food. “All this is for me?”

  He nods. “Now, most hated food?”

  “That’s a tie between oysters and mushrooms.” Eww, I shiver at the thought of them. “Oysters remind me of snot and mushrooms taste disgusting.” I look up at his surprised smile. “I mean, it’s okay if you like that kind of thing.” I shrug. “Just never ask me to eat them. My mother used to try and hide the mushrooms in my food when I was a kid, but I always found them and then refused to eat the food they had touched.”

  “Rebellious.” He cocks his head, fighting his smile.

  “Very much so. You wouldn’t believe the things I got up to,” I say, smiling.

  “Do tell.”

  I shake my head. “I’m joking. I didn’t have my first kiss until I was eighteen, and that same guy also took my virginity. So, clearly I suck at life…” I pause to see him smiling now. I place my hands on the table and lean forward. “How many partners have you had, Gunner?” His smile disappears at my words. “Oh, do you not want to share? I think it’s only fair since I have shared so much.”

  He picks up his coffee and puts it to his mouth. “Only one that counts.”

  And he’s just made me lose my train of thought at his words.

  “That’s a good answer. I’m guessing it’s high, and this is why you don’t want to tell me?”

  “Do you really want to know? I told you they meant nothing to me. Most never lasted longer than three months.”

  Suddenly, I’m not very hungry anymore.

  “I think I should go home.”

  He hands me keys, and I see they’re for my car. “I had your car brought here.”

  “Thanks for…” I look around, “… breakfast.”

  He gets up as well and walks me to the door. I see my car out front. Gunner’s place is not an apartment, it’s a house, and a good-sized one too. I love it. He picked really well.

  Walking out, I don’t look back until I get in my car. I watch as he closes the door and I bang my head against the steering wheel, wondering why I asked that question, and now I really want to know the answer. This can’t work if he keeps things from me.

  Getting back out, I walk up and find his door is unlocked. I call his name with no answer. Walking to his bedroom, I hear the shower, but there’s no sign of him. Stepping up to the door, my breathing becomes deeper and I want to know, I want to know if we can really work. I really hope and pray we can, because no other man has made me feel anything close to what Gunner makes me feel. And that fact I know with certainty.

  “Gunner.” My hand touches the door, and just as it does, he opens it, naked. My eyes roam him from head to toe, stopping at his cock on the way, which is hard as he stares at me.

  “Everly,” he whispers.

  I want to lean into him and taste him. I’ve missed the way he tastes, the way his body feels against mine.

  “Did you forget something?” he asks, his cock still standing tall. He doesn’t go to touch me, and I respect that he’s keeping his distance. But he’s not shy by any means.

  “Yes,” a whisper leaves my mouth as I make my eyes move up to his.

  “Everly, you need to speak.”

  Oh, yes, shit!

  “I want to go on a date with you. Take me on a date.”

  “It would be inappropriate to kiss you right now, wouldn’t it?” he asks with a raised eyebrow.

  “I should go,” I say, but don’t move.

  “Everly, you need to go before I bring you into this shower with me.”

  That snaps me out of it.

  Yes, I would love to get into the shower with him, but I’m also not stupid.

  Taking it slowly doesn’t mean fucking your ex-husband the minute you see him naked.

  Though, most wouldn’t blame me for doing so.

  He’s waiting for me when I arrive home the next day. I knew he would be because his text message from the night before told me so. And when I closed my e
yes to sleep, all I could see was Gunner—naked.

  “Do you need to change?” he asks while looking me up and down.

  “Depends. Where we are going?”

  He smirks at my words. “No boat, if that’s what you’re thinking.” He winks. And just as he says it, I’m thinking about the boat. About how much I want to be on that boat right now with him behind me. “Mind out of the gutter, Everly.”

  “I’ll wear this, if it’s okay?” I ask, looking at his dark washed jeans and blue shirt. He nods and opens his car door, holding it for me. I get in and take a deep breath.

  I’m going on a date with my ex-husband, and I have butterflies in my stomach.

  Big, beautiful, butterflies.

  “How was your day?” he asks.

  I shrug. “It was okay.”

  I was nervous all day, waiting for this moment.

  What’s he going to do?

  Is it going to be something big and scare me?

  Or is he going to take me back to his, in hopes I will have sex with him?

  Not that I would mind that last option.

  We don’t drive for long, and once we arrive, he gets out and walks around to my side of the car. I notice where we are straight away and I smile.

  “Indian,” I say.

  He nods, taking my hand in his, and I don’t flinch as we walk inside.

  “Mr. Reid, your table and food is ready. This way, please.”

  We sit and the waiter brings out glasses of champagne, followed by our food.

  I smile at the butter chicken and naan bread that is placed before me.

  “You listened.”

  “Of course.” He looks around, then back to me. “This is not where I would have chosen.”

  “And where would you choose?”

  He leans in. “My house. In my room. You naked on our bed while I feed you.”

  I cross my legs tighter together.

  He can’t say things like that.

  It does all sorts of things to me.

  “But this, this will do. It’s what you like, and, believe it or not, I enjoy it as well.”

  We start eating and he asks me about my day and my hours at the café. I’ve been working more lately, trying to keep my head busy and distracted. It’s helped. He tells me about his real estate business, and when he speaks about it, he glows brightly. You can clearly tell he loves what he does.

  We finish our meal but stay a little longer and have another drink.

  “I’m sorry, Everly, for what he did.”

  I freeze at his words. I didn’t think he would bring it up, and my hand goes to my stomach. He sees the action and shakes his head.

  “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  “It wasn’t your fault, it was his.”

  He nods. “It was me he wanted to hurt…”

  “And he knew by hurting me it would hurt you,” I say, finishing his sentence.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “We need to change the subject. I don’t blame you for his actions, Gunner. And, frankly, it’s not something I want to remember. So, I’m sorry, but can we not speak of this again?”

  He simply nods his head.

  End of discussion.

  31

  Everly

  Our date ended without a kiss, even though I wanted one, I wasn’t going to be the first one to make the move. It was nice, casual, as if we weren’t people from a messy past. We were more like two strangers meeting for dinner.

  Personally, I can’t wait to do it again.

  * * *

  I can’t stop thinking about you. Say yes to lunch?

  * * *

  I smile down at my cell and his text message.

  * * *

  At my work? Sure.

  * * *

  He replies straight away.

  * * *

  Be there in ten.

  * * *

  And he is. He arrives at the café exactly ten minutes later. When he walks in, I watch as people stop to stare his way. Fuck, I do too. He has that air about him. Something that just draws you in like a moth to a flame. When he walks up to me, he leans in and ever so softly kisses my cheek. I’m sure I’m blushing, but I can’t help it. I’m highly attracted to him, and I think I’m falling even more in love with him.

  And that little fact scares the shit out of me.

  I invite him into my office where I’ve already laid out a few sandwiches and cakes, plus two coffees for us. He looks surprised, but doesn’t comment as he takes the seat across from me.

  “Twenty-four hours is a long time not to see you,” he says, his lip twitching at his words.

  “Is it?” I ask, and he nods.

  “Is it too soon to say that I love you more now? Now that I feel I’m getting to know you better?”

  “No, I like to hear that.”

  “Well, technically, this is our third date.” He picks up a small sandwich and eats it, and I laugh at him.

  “You’re counting me getting trashed as our first date?”

  “Of course. I had so much fun watching you trying to beat yourself in Monopoly. I even got a sleepover out of it…” He pauses. “How are you sleeping?”

  “Better, thanks.”

  “I sleep better when you’re near. It’s one of the things that pushed me to have you in the house so fast.” His revelation surprises me. Gunner doesn’t drop bombshells like that, he’s usually calm and calculated about what he reveals.

  “I sleep better with you as well.”

  “Is it too soon to ask you out again?” He leans in close. “I’m fast becoming addicted.”

  I laugh at his words. “No. You can ask. But whether I agree is a different story.” I wink at him.

  “Why didn’t we start off like this?” he murmurs. “How come I never saw us like this?”

  I don’t want to tell him it’s because of him, because it was also my fault. I could have chosen to take it slow as well, but I didn’t. I grabbed hold of that surfboard and dove so deep into those waves I couldn’t get any air.

  The fucked-up part, I liked it in a way.

  “Don’t answer that,” he says, shaking his head. “New start, right?” Gunner runs a hand through his hair, and I remember what it’s like to do that to him. I want to do that to him now, climb on his lap, take his lips, and run my hands through his hair. Instead, I cross my legs over one another and smile.

  “New start. So, where do you want to take me?”

  “I was thinking I could cook for you. But if that’s too soon…”

  My hands lay on the desk. “No. How about I come over later, after I go home and change?”

  Gunner nods, then stands and looks at his watch. “I can’t stay, I have a client I need to meet.” He pauses, then walks over to me and leans down, his breath tickles my ear. “I’ll see you tonight, Everly.” He kisses my cheek, and I offer him a wave as he walks out, shutting the door behind him. My head drops to the desk and I have to remember to breathe.

  “Don’t be a fool, take it slow.”

  “Slow?”

  My eyes widen in horror as I sit back up to see him at the door, smiling.

  “Slow is what we’ve been doing, Everly. I just wanted to check that mushrooms are okay?” I poke my tongue out at him. He turns to leave, and I can hear his laugh following him.

  He didn’t tell me a time, but he also knows what time the café closes, so I’m guessing he knows when to expect me. I head home to shower and change, slipping into a maxi dress. Then I drive over to his. As I pull up, I remember his words—that he bought this house for us, even after he divorced me.

  Why? I don’t even know, but I want to. I want to know so badly.

  Knocking on the door, I wipe my hands on my dress. They are wet with nervous sweat. I’m quite anxious about tonight. We aren’t out in public where we can easily say our goodbyes and head the other way. No, we’re going to be standing in front of each other with no other soul around.

  “You’re so beautiful, Ev
erly.”

  I step inside as he steps back to let me in, and I smell the food straight away and smile at him.

  “What are you cooking?”

  “Chicken stuffed with cheese and bacon with veggies on the side.” My mouth waters at the sound of that. I follow him into the kitchen and watch as he goes behind the counter. He’s dressed casually, no shoes and a loose-fitting shirt, plus his black dress pants.

  “Gunner.”

  He turns back to me from stirring the pot and pours me a glass of wine. “Yes, Everly?”

  “Why did you buy this house, if you knew we were getting divorced?”

  “I was wondering when you’d work that out.” He shakes his head. “I told you before, you are it for me. No matter what, I hoped, one day, we would find our way back to one another.”

  “Did you really?” I ask him, not convinced.

  “It was either that, or I was going to gift it to you.” He shrugs at the words.

  “I wouldn’t have taken it.” I lift the glass to my lips as he goes back to the food, plating it up.

  “You don’t like it?” he asks, waving his hand around.

  “It’s beautiful. Honestly, I love it.”

  He nods and comes to sit next to me. It’s casual, easy. Nothing special. And just what I need.

  “Oh my God, this looks so good.”

  He smiles as I start to eat, and I moan around each bite, wondering why he never cooked for me before. That will be changing from now on. “You know you will be cooking all the time, right?”

  He laughs. “If you say so.” He winks.

  We eat and he asks me about the rest of my day. It’s nice. As two new lovers getting to know each other. I like it. I like the new us. And how far we’ve come. I hope it stays this way.