This is Not a Double Date

by Grace Risata

  Her sweet words caused a fresh round of tears, and I allowed myself to be led into the kitchen. I was done being the person tasked with keeping us alive. I was done worrying about what danger might be lurking around the next corner. I was done with this shitty day entirely.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Roman

  I was completely exhausted, however I didn’t have the luxury of a nice warm bed or soft pillow to rest my weary head. Nope. Instead I found myself caught in a vicious staring contest with Ivan.

  Wonderful.

  He gave me the evil eye as we stood awkwardly in his kitchen. It absolutely tore me apart that Hailey was the one to comfort Andi while I was kept away from her. I know I messed up, but these two don’t know the reasoning behind my actions.

  “Is she doing any better?” I asked Hailey when she walked back into the room to give us an update. Evidently Andi was taken to a spare bedroom in the hopes that she might settle down.

  “That doesn’t concern you,” the woman replied icily, plunking down a large bottle of vodka and a pair of unused shot glasses. Ivan, however, was privy to that information. “Andi wasn’t interested in anything to calm her nerves. We talked for a few minutes and she fell into a fitful sleep. I expect there to be nightmares, so I need to go back and check on her.”

  “I’m not the bad guy here,” I insisted, pleading with them to give me a chance to explain myself. “I never would have let anything happen to her. I know you don’t believe me, but it’s the truth. She means everything to me.”

  “You’re a fucking liar,” Ivan stated calmly, as though that was a fact and not up for debate. Turning towards Hailey and gazing at her adoringly, it became abundantly clear the man was head over heels. “Did you really pepper spray this asshole, angel?”

  “Yes,” she replied. “I would do anything for my sister.”

  “So courageous, my love,” Ivan declared. “How I’ve missed you, Hailey.”

  “We are not getting back together! I only agreed to come here so Andi would quit freaking out and speaking in code words.”

  “You used the code words? Ah, my life has been empty without the Cartwright girls!”

  Instead of jumping into his arms for a reconciliation, Hailey narrowed her eyes and angrily shook her head.

  “No. We are not back in your life. Men are disgusting stupid pigs,” she spat, pointing first at me and then at her ex. “This one puts my sister in mortal danger while pretending to care about her…and the other one acts like I’m special and then refuses to return my calls no matter how worried I am about him. It doesn’t matter that you had an accident. Embarrassing things happen in life, Ivan. It’s how you handle them that’s important! You apologize and move on. You don’t ignore me and pretend I don’t exist. Did you not realize how I felt about you? Did you not trust me to laugh with you about the incident and not hold it against you? I gave you my heart, my soul, and my body, and you threw it all away! Men! You’re nothing but trouble!”

  Hailey threw up her hands and marched away in a fit of rage. I chose that moment to marvel at the turn of events that led me here tonight. The way I saw it…I had two choices. Sulk in the corner, or admit that misery loves company. I think I’ll take option number two.

  “Ivan…it appears the women in our lives have done a number on us. How about we call a truce, commiserate over our misfortune to be at the mercy of two stubborn ladies, and realize we’re on the same side of the war?”

  Under normal circumstances, I would never have suggested this. I’m not out to make friends and be the life of the party. However, I didn’t feel the need to be looking over my shoulder all night long and waiting for him to decide to murder me so he can get back in Hailey’s good graces.

  The stocky Russian man considered my offer for about two seconds before shaking his head.

  “I don’t hang out with assholes that find it necessary to intimidate women, lie, steal, and cheat. I may work for them, take their money, and follow orders, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. You are lower than the dirt underneath my shoe. If I wasn’t so heartbroken over losing Hailey, I’d kill you just for the fun of it.”

  The Neanderthal proceeded to grab the bottle of vodka and slink off to parts unknown. I can only assume he planned on getting shit faced drunk and wallowing in self-pity. Just because he had apparently given up on his lady, didn’t mean I was about to do the same.

  I waited a few minutes to make sure Ivan didn’t reappear, and finally took it upon myself to seek out Andi. I found her lying in the middle of a small bed while Hailey softly snored in an oversized recliner nearby. Deciding we both needed comfort after the events of the day, I crawled into bed next to my girl and snuggled up with an arm around her waist.

  At this point, all I could do was hope that she would find it in her heart to forgive me.

  Chapter Twenty Eight

  Andi – early Sunday morning

  I was awoken by the sound of a strange buzzing noise coming from somewhere nearby. It took a few seconds for me to get my bearings and realize where I was…and then everything came flooding back. All the events that transpired hit me like a blow to the chest.

  “You’re okay,” Roman muttered reassuringly, suddenly sitting up in bed and reaching into his pocket to pull out a phone. I knew he came to sleep next to me at some point in the middle of the night, but I was too tired to protest. Is it wrong that I felt safer with his strong arms wrapped around me protectively?

  “Who’s on the phone?” I whispered, not wanting to wake Hailey.

  “You don’t have to be so quiet,” she said. “I’m not asleep. If anyone is calling him at four in the morning, he should probably answer and find out who it is.”

  “It’s an unknown number,” he replied, swiping the screen to accept the call.

  “Is Andi there?” a familiar voice asked hysterically. “This is Cara. They’re all over the television… gun fight… police everywhere… I can’t get a hold of him!”

  Either she had a bad connection or was sobbing so hard that I couldn’t understand her words.

  “Put her on speakerphone,” I suggested, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and feeling like this catastrophe would never end. Once he complied, I tried my best to get the woman to calm down and start making sense. “I’m here. Take a deep breath and tell us what’s going on.”

  “Bruce left shortly after you called. I turned on his police scanner so I could stay updated if anything happened. It was all boring chatter and I fell asleep while waiting for him to return. All of a sudden reports started coming in of a robbery in progress at the Lincoln Square Shopping Center… right where I work!”

  “Shit,” Roman mumbled. “They really did go for the jewelry store as plan B.”

  “I listened, eyes wide in horror, as people began to frantically use phrases like ‘chaos at the scene,’ ‘gunfight between police and the suspects, ‘all units respond to the location,’ and…and…” she collapsed into sobs, unable to finish speaking.

  “And what?” I prompted, desperate to know what upset her so badly.

  “…and an ambulance was called to assist with victims! I haven’t been able to get in touch with Bruce! What if… what if he’s… ” my friend dissolved into another fit of tears.

  Before I had a chance to offer comfort, Roman’s phone began to ding with a barrage of incoming texts.

  “I’m ending the call, Cara,” he advised. “I need to find out what’s going on. We’ll let you know as soon as we get more information.”

  He hung up the phone and began anxiously reading the messages.

  “What are you doing?” Hailey asked suspiciously. “Making sure your accomplices are okay?”

  “No. The texts are from my contact at the police station. They got caught and Duke confessed everything. The cops want Andi to come in for questioning. We need to leave and get her to the station before they come looking for her. I don’t think you want any attention on Ivan and his business dealings, so we sh
ould probably go sooner rather than later.”

  “She’s not going anywhere, Roman,” my sister argued defiantly. “Andi has been through hell and she’s in no condition to give a statement.”

  “I understand that,” he replied. “For once, will you give me the benefit of the doubt and let me handle something? I’ll take care of her. I promise.”

  By this time he was speaking directly to me and not Hailey. A field trip to the police station wasn’t high on my priority list, but I saw no need to prolong the inevitable.

  “Let’s get it over with. What’s one more nightmare to deal with? Add it to my list.”

  The three of us almost made it out of Ivan’s house unnoticed, but his security alarm went off and the man insisted on tagging along to the precinct. I think he was afraid that he’d never see Hailey again if he let her out of his sight.

  After one long and uncomfortable ride to the police department, I forced Hailey to stay with Ivan while we went inside. This was my problem, not hers, no matter how much I knew she wanted to help.

  I slowly climbed the stairs to the front door and gazed up at the imposing structure. Feeling an ominous sense of danger like I was about to be arrested and thrown into a cell, I sighed in defeat.

  “Hey, look at me,” Roman commanded. “I will not leave your side for one single second the entire time they question you. My feelings for you are real, Andi. Give me a chance to make things right. Please… just trust me.”

  Nodding my head, I let the repentant man open the door and lead me in the right direction. He spoke to a few people and asked around looking for a detective named ‘Jones.’ Everything appeared to be normal, until a familiar face caught my attention. I’d recognize the Fu Manchu mustache anywhere, not to mention the fact that it belonged to a hulking beast of a man. What I couldn’t understand, is why Solo from the Pit would be at the police station wearing a baseball cap and sporting a badge around his neck. Had he somehow broken in and stole a cop’s uniform? Was I still dreaming?

  “What the fu—” I mumbled in disbelief before Roman put a hand over my mouth.

  “Detective Jones, it’s good to see you,” Roman said loudly while greeting the man. “I believe you have some questions for us? Is there somewhere a bit more private we can go to discuss the current situation?”

  The detective nodded his head and motioned for us to follow him. By this time, I was thoroughly confused. Had I officially gone off the deep end and my life had become nothing more than a bizarre illusion? Maybe Hailey slipped some drugs into the glass of water she’d given me before I fell asleep?

  We were led down a long corridor and eventually taken to what appeared to be an interrogation room. There was a metal desk surrounded by three chairs and, other than that, the room was quite sparse. Roman sat down across from his buddy and pulled out the remaining chair for me.

  Once I took a seat, the questions began to pour from my mouth.

  “Detective Jones? Or should I call you Mr. Solo?” Once I heard the words escape my lips, a stunning revelation dawned on me. “Holy shit! Indiana Jones! Han Solo! Someone has an obsession with Harrison Ford, don’t they?”

  The man simply smiled and confirmed my suspicions.

  “We’re allowed to come up with our own aliases when going undercover, Andi. I’m in the process of infiltrating a large ring of gun smugglers that just so happen to work directly with the gypsy community. Roman offered to get me access to their world, and in return I’m helping to bring down his father.”

  “But… you almost let Thor get beaten to death in the parking lot after he cheated during the wing eating contest!”

  “I wouldn’t have let things go quite that far,” he insisted. “For someone that’s just been put through the ringer, you’re remarkably observant.”

  I shrugged while Roman remarked, “She’s resilient. That’s one of the reasons I’m so proud of my girl. Andi rolls with the punches.”

  “I’m not your girl,” I mumbled unconvincingly.

  The two men exchanged a look as though they knew I wasn’t ready to end things yet. If I would have been done with Roman completely, we wouldn’t be sitting together right now.

  “I’m sure you’re both eager to learn what happened tonight,” the detective stated somberly, “and anything I’m about to tell you is strictly off the record.”

  I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the worst. If Bruce was dead, I had no idea how I would break that news to my best friend.

  “As you probably already know,” he continued, “Three men were apprehended while attempting to break into a jewelry store. We got a tip that there might be trouble in the area, and had extra patrols out to monitor the situation. Once the suspects were confronted, they drew their guns and had a shoot-out with the officers that responded to the scene. All hell broke loose and some people had to be transported to the hospital to treat their injuries.”

  “No one died…did they?” I asked hesitantly, not wanting to know the answer.

  “No one was killed,” the detective confirmed, much to my relief. “However, Tyler got shot in the shoulder and one of the policemen was bitten by Eddie when they tried to take him into custody. You can add ‘resisting arrest’ to a laundry list of pending charges.”

  “Thank you for helping me catch my father and make sure justice is served,” Roman declared triumphantly. “It’s been a long time coming.”

  “What happens now?” I wondered aloud, eager for closure on the whole sordid mess.

  “I’m afraid that we’re going to need an official statement from you, Andi,” Detective Jones advised while offering me a smile of consolation. “Tyler and Eddie fought against the police, but Duke was kind enough to roll over like a timid dog and give us a full confession. He went on record saying they kidnapped you in order to gain information on another planned burglary. If you could tell me everything that happened in your own words, it would be much appreciated.”

  Wow. Where do I even begin? I told him every last detail while Roman held my hand in a show of support.

  “Well, sir, it all started when I got a phone call from my friend asking me to join her and her new boyfriend on a group outing. She insisted it wasn’t a double date and…”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Andi – two weeks later

  I gazed out the window of Ivan’s SUV as we slowly drove past unfamiliar scenery. This was the ritzy part of town and I wasn’t entirely sure that we belonged in such an upscale neighborhood.

  “Where is this culinary institute?” Ivan asked for the third time in as many minutes.

  “Take a left down Berkshire Boulevard and then it should be the fifth building on your side of the street,” Hailey replied in frustration as though not understanding how the man could be so bad with following directions.

  They bickered like an old married couple and I was highly entertained to observe their behavior from the comfort of the backseat.

  “What are we making again? Ravioli? Can’t we just go to a restaurant, Angel?” the surly Russian offered, eager to do anything to get back on my sister’s good side. “I’ll pay. Well…not for all of us.”

  He cast a quick glance in the rear view mirror and scowled, clearly not thrilled with one of his passengers.

  “The whole point is to learn how to make the Italian dish from scratch,” Hailey explained. “No one is forcing you to be here right now. You don’t hear him complaining, do you?”

  I glanced over at the man in the seat next to me and couldn’t help but notice his evil smirk.

  “I’m just grateful to be spending time with Andi,” Roman replied sweetly as though he was perfectly content to play the role of dutiful boyfriend. “Quit causing so much trouble, Ivan. If you keep this up, Hailey isn’t going to take you back.”

  “She already has!” the Russian bellowed at the top of his lungs. “Why do you think we’re together on a Saturday night? This is a romantic evening!”

  “It most certainly is not!” Hailey
insisted. “This is nothing more than a shared learning experience where four people create culinary masterpieces. It is not a double date!”

  “Yes it is!” I shouted in unison with Roman and Ivan.

  “I know,” Hailey replied with a laugh. “I was just giving you crap.”

  “Don’t make him a burrito,” Roman deadpanned, “Or else he really will crap.”

  “I’m going to pull this car over and strangle you with my bare hands, gypsy,” Ivan roared in disgust, much to the delight of his tormentor.

  I have a feeling this is the beginning of a wonderful new chapter in my life. One filled with many more double dates, wild adventures, and never a dull moment…

  The end!

  In Case You Were Wondering…

  -- Eddie and Tyler got lengthy prison sentences, while Duke got off with probation after turning informant. Everyone knows that you don’t rat out your fellow gypsies, so he had to enter the witness protection program in order to avoid certain death.

  -- Trina was unfazed by her ‘fiance’ getting sent up the river. She’s content with the occasional conjugal visit and still believes they’ll get married some day. Tyler makes sure to keep her in the dark about all his female pen pals that routinely send him naughty photos.

  -- Cara finally got her head out of her ass and realized the true depth of her feelings for Bruce. Yes, it may have taken a serious scare to make the selfish woman come to her senses, but things worked out in the end. She’s currently in the process of moving in to his apartment and vowed never to take him for granted again.

  -- Detective Jones/Solo is still deeply embedded in the gypsy community while working undercover to infiltrate the smuggling ring. He’s made several more attempts to emerge victorious in the wing-eating competition… all to no avail.

  -- Roman and Andi finally got their romantic date. She took him for a long overdue visit to the Penn Museum. Even though the dinosaur exhibit was long gone, they thoroughly enjoyed the mummy’s tomb with Andi acting as a knowledgeable guide. After the tour, they went back to her apartment and Roman got to show off some skills of his own.