Gun Mage 2: Surviving a Post Apocalyptic Magic Earth

by Logan Jacobs

  The link between us expanded the longer I stayed inside her, and soon it was hard to tell where I ended and where she began. It was just one large, glowing arena of euphoric sex, and if we could have managed it, we would have stayed locked together like that for the rest of the night.

  But I did eventually release inside of her again, slowly and after several more blissful moments. When we finally collapsed onto the bed for the last time, Sorcha snuggled against me and fell asleep almost instantly. I managed to stay awake for a bit longer, but the sex had worn me out in the way nothing else could, and I soon fell into a dreamless sleep.

  I awoke a few hours later, still drowsy and momentarily disoriented. I had a flashback to Sorcha’s glorious body poised over mine and grinned at the memory. The blonde mage was still curled beside me, and I started to lean over her for a quick kiss when I froze and looked toward the front of the store.

  It was still dim in the mall, even though the sun had to be up. I peered into the darkness and tried to figure out what had caught my attention. And then I realized I had heard something rather than seen something. That something was a human voice that sang snippets from various songs as it moved along the walkway near our hiding spot.

  And the voice was getting closer to the bed store with every off-key lyric it sang.

  Chapter 8

  “Sorcha,” I whispered quietly in my companion’s ear as I gave her a gentle shake.

  Her eyes fluttered open, and she started to say something, but I put a finger over her mouth and pointed toward the front of the store. She heard the voice and her eyes went wide, though I couldn’t tell whether it was fear or embarrassment that garnered that reaction.

  We both rolled out of the bed as quietly as we could and scoured the area for our clothes. Sorcha, at least, had quite a few options to choose from, but I just grabbed everything I’d worn the day before and tossed them on as quickly as possible. Once I was dressed, I crept toward the front of the store until I found a spot where I could crouch down and watch the walkway without being seen.

  “Mage,” Sorcha whispered in my ear as she joined me.

  “Vance?” I suggested as we waited for the owner of the voice to appear.

  The owner did appear, though to judge by the track of his voice, he must have wandered in, around, and out of a lot of different stores along the way. My legs had started to cramp, and I had started to curse the unknown mage before he finally appeared outside the bed store.

  “I like big butts, and I cannot lie,” the mage chanted as he staggered into view.

  He was on the short side, with brown hair that looked like it hadn’t seen a comb in some time, stubble that was only partially shaved, and a mage’s red robe that was nearly black from the dirt and stains.

  “I like big butts, and I cannot lie,” the mage repeated as he looked out over the second floor railing. He stopped for a moment and scratched his head, as if he couldn’t remember what came next.

  “Do you think that’s an actual song?” Sorcha whispered in disbelief.

  The mage whipped around then and looked at the surrounding stores.

  “I know someone’s there!” he called out. “If that’s you, Smith, I’m going to the town today so you can just tell your old man to suck it!”

  Sorcha and I remained out of sight, though we exchanged confused looks. I had a sneaking suspicion this was Vance, and I was feeling a lot less confident about his abilities to get us out of the wasteland. He looked drunk, and I doubted he could even guide us out of the mall on foot, much less open a magical gateway to Motown.

  “Show yourself or I’ll fry you!” the mage shouted when no one appeared.

  I cocked an eyebrow at Sorcha and she just shook her head.

  “Portal mage,” she said quietly. “I’m not sensing any fire skills and only a trace of wind skills.”

  “This must be Vance,” I sighed. “Maybe he’s better than he looks.”

  I stood up slowly and walked toward the front of the store. Vance whirled in my direction, which almost sent him over the railing.

  “Who the hell are you?” he demanded when he was steady once again.

  “A friend of Dani Greentree,” I replied as I came to a halt just inside the door. “She sent me here to find a portal mage named Vance. She said you could get us out of the wasteland.”

  The mage opened and closed his mouth a few times, like he couldn’t decide which issue to address first.

  “I’m Vance,” he finally declared, which was followed by a belch. “How do you know Dani Greentree?”

  “She helped us out with a wolf encounter,” I hedged.

  “Ah,” Vance burped. “Found the former shapeshifters, eh? Well, that’s the Magesterium for you. If there’s a problem, you either kill it or banish it.”

  “Uh-huh,” I agreed.

  “But you’re not a mutant,” he said as he peered at me. “Or a shapeshifter. I think you’re a mage, but you’re not in a red robe.”

  “Ummm,” I hemmed.

  “And I smell sex,” he added as he sniffed the air. “So there’s another one around here somewhere.”

  “Errrr,” I mumbled as I tried not to blush.

  “So why are two mages having sex in my palace?” he demanded.

  “We’re heading to Motown,” I finally stated.

  “Motown?” Vance scoffed. “Why would you want to go to that boring place?”

  “We’re looking for someone,” I explained.

  “Well, you found someone,” he declared as he held his arms out wide.

  “We’re looking for someone named Charles Darwin,” I amended.

  “That old coot?” Vance snorted. “If you really know Charles Darwin, then you know he hasn’t been talking to anyone lately. You might as well save your breath and go somewhere more exciting, like... um...”

  “Look, is there a way to get out of the wasteland that’s close to Motown?” I asked.

  Vance sniffed and scratched his chest, all while he peered into the depths of the Casper store.

  “Is she pretty?” he finally asked.

  “Is who pretty?” I demanded in frustration.

  “The woman you slept with,” Vance explained with a huff. “Is that why you’re here? Did you fall for a mutant that got banished here? You know, even if I were to take the two of you out of this particular wasteland, someone else will probably just turn her in again in some other town. As wastelands go, this one isn’t all that bad, and if you met Dani Greentree, then you know there’s a place where you could stay.”

  “Except they don’t like mages, and neither of us is a mutant,” I said in an exasperated voice. “So, if you can’t help us, we’ll just keep heading west and see if we can find another gate.”

  “Gates are all sealed on this side of the wall,” Vance pointed out. “Portal’s the only way out.”

  “I find that hard to believe,” I mumbled.

  “It is,” Vance insisted.

  “Fine,” I agreed, mostly in the hopes that he would move on. I was even less convinced now that he could create the portal, and I’d wished I’d asked Dani to teach us a few words to keep the shapeshifter wolves at bay.

  “I can send you to Motown,” he mused. “I’ve got to go there myself to pick up a few things.”

  “Uh-huh,” I acknowledged.

  “If you’ll let me see this pretty, non-mutant friend of yours, I’ll happily send you on your way,” he added.

  “I’m not sure I trust you to create a portal,” I accused.

  Vance looked aggrieved, and for a moment, he looked like he would stomp off. I was happy to let him go, but then his expression changed to one of awe, and I wasn’t at all surprised when Sorcha stepped up next to me. For her part, the blonde woman looked like she was trying very hard not to laugh.

  “I’m Sorcha,” my companion said in a pleasant voice.

  Vance stared at her in disbelief for several heartbeats before he shook himself and turned his gaze back to me. He had a more c
ritical look on his face, and I was reminded of one of my old teacher’s who used to have the same expression on her face just before she told you everything you had done wrong.

  “Definitely not a mutant,” Vance finally mumbled.

  “Neither are you,” Sorcha pointed out. “Nor are you a shapeshifter. So how did you end up here?”

  “Do you want the long story or the short story?” Vance asked.

  “Short,” Sorcha and I replied at the same time.

  “I like to drink,” Vance said with a shrug.

  Sorcha and I waited for more information, but the only sound for several moments was the twitter of the wrens. I would have been perfectly happy with that explanation, but Sorcha sighed, and she spoke before I could nudge her.

  “And the long story?” she asked.

  “I was a portal mage for the Magesterium,” Vance declared as he opened his arms wide so we could take in the red robe he wore. “I used to send some of the top officials all over the world. It was amazing.”

  “But you liked to drink,” Sorcha added when Vance fell silent again.

  “I liked to drink,” Vance agreed. “And one night, I went to a local bar and drank quite a bit of the local brew, even though I’d been warned that we could leave at a moment’s notice that very night. Well, they said that on almost every trip we took, and most of the time we would stay on for days or even weeks.”

  “But they wanted to leave that night,” Sorcha guessed.

  “That they did,” Vance sighed. “One of the local mages tracked me down and tried to sober me up. I could stand up in front of our fearless leader without keeling over, but I wasn’t really sober. I really don’t know how anyone in that room thought I was ready to open a portal, but I did. And they all started to step through together, caught up in some idiotic discussion about usage taxes. I couldn’t hold it open, though, and the whole thing collapsed while they were still in transit.”

  “Oh,” Sorcha gasped.

  “Yep,” Vance nodded. “I stay here because I’m wanted for murder out there.”

  “That’s…” I started to say and then trailed off when I couldn’t think of a good way to finish the sentence. Atrocious leapt to mind, as did horrifying.

  “Did you kill a mage as well?” Vance asked as he peered at us. “Is that why you’re here?”

  “We did kill a mage,” I admitted.

  “Huh,” Vance harrumphed as he scratched himself again. “And you think Charles Darwin will help you?”

  “We were told he would,” I assured him.

  “He’s got all sorts of music from the old days,” Vance mused. “And sometimes he would let me listen to it if he’d found a power source for his stereo. But he hasn’t been the most welcoming fellow as of late.”

  “Is he the one that taught you the song about big butts?” Sorcha asked.

  “I like big butts, and I cannot lie,” Vance belted out gleefully.

  “So can you really open a portal to Motown?” I asked as I tried to ignore the leer on the man’s face. His story about killing a group of mages didn’t exactly inspire confidence in his magic or his control, and I wondered why the local mutant population was so ready to rely on him. But then, he was the only portal mage inside the wall, so it wasn’t like that they had any other choices.

  “Certainly I can,” Vance declared. “As I said, I used to be able to send people just about anywhere. Motown is well within my range.”

  “If you can send people anywhere…” Sorcha mused.

  “I don’t do long trips anymore,” Vance said as he held up a hand. “Too much work. I only do local portals these days.”

  “But if you could send us to the west coast,” Sorcha urged, “we could make it worth your while.”

  “No, no, no,” Vance insisted. “No long trips.”

  “But the west coast is short compared to some of the other trips you’ve made,” Sorcha continued despite the nudge to the arm that I gave her.

  “True that,” Vance admitted. “You wouldn’t believe some of the places I’ve seen.”

  “Anywhere close to the coast would be helpful,” Sorcha added as she gave the portal mage another sunny smile.

  He considered her offer for a moment, then shook his head sadly.

  “No,” I replied mournfully. “For you, my flower, I would love to open a portal to wherever your heart desired, but the simple fact is that I can’t.”

  “Do you mean can’t or won’t?” I asked.

  “Can’t,” he conceded. “Turns out too much drink is bad for your magic skills. I haven’t opened a portal past Motown in years. Trust me, if I could have, I would have taken my own lazy butt to the west coast years ago. I hear the wineries there are lovely.”

  “Oh, dear,” Sorcha interjected.

  “I still think we can find another way out,” I murmured as I turned to Sorcha. “I’m not sure I trust him to get us to Motown even.”

  “You’re welcome to try,” Vance snickered before Sorcha could say anything, “but you’d be the first to succeed. And this place has been here for a very long time.”

  “It’s a short trip,” Sorcha pointed out. “And it sounds like Vance makes it regularly, so I’m sure it will be safe.”

  “I do,” Vance assured her. “And I’ll even go with you, so you can feel confident that I won’t close it too soon.”

  “That’s not as reassuring as you might think,” I sniffed.

  “It’s either Vance or the wolves or more angry mutants,” Sorcha pointed out.

  “Ooooh, you don’t want to hang around here if you made the mutants angry,” Vance added. “They’ll hunt you down for sure.”

  “I thought they hated mages,” I said as I gave Vance the stink-eye. “So how come they haven’t killed you?”

  “I can bring them food and supplies from beyond the wall,” Vance declared with a flourish.

  “I think we should go with Vance,” Sorcha whispered. “We really need to put some distance between us and the mages, and I’d rather not spend any more time in the wastelands than we have to.”

  “Fine,” I huffed, though I realized she was probably right. As scary as it was to entrust our lives to a mage who had just admitted to killing people by closing a portal too quickly, it was better than waging a protracted war with mutants and shadow creatures and whatever other oddities existed in this place. And if we somehow managed to hold off all those creatures and reach the far side of the wastelands, there was still the problem of getting out. Vance was our best option, even if he did smell like a brewery.

  “Just let me get to my special spot and we can be on our way,” Vance said with a little bow.

  “We’ll just grab our stuff,” I said quickly as I pulled Sorcha back into the store.

  “You’ll wait here for us,” Sorcha called to the portal mage over her shoulder. “So we don’t have to search for you in this maze?”

  “Oh, it’s not that hard to navigate,” Vance assured her.

  “Still, I’d feel better with you in the lead,” she insisted.

  “I’ll be right here,” Vance declared as he spread his feet wide.

  Sorcha and I walked quickly to the back of the store and started to gather up our supplies. Fortunately, we hadn’t bothered to unpack the satchels the night before, so we grabbed up our jackets and satchels, and Sorcha made a few final decisions about the extra clothes. She crammed everything she wanted to keep into one of the bags, along with the straw hat, then gave me a nod.

  “I’m not sure I trust this guy,” I whispered. “So I’m going to take a precaution of my own.”

  I pictured the snub nose in my hand and felt the near instantaneous response. I smiled as I felt the dimpled grip in my palm and remembered the kick that came with it. I tucked the gun into my jacket pocket and glanced toward the blonde mage.

  “I think he can get us to Motown,” Sorcha replied as she watched me conceal the snub nose. “Though I’m not crazy about him going with us. He seems like the type that wo
uld head to the local pub and start talking.”

  “Maybe we can convince him to show us where Charles Darwin lives,” I replied. “We could keep him there until we leave.”

  “Well, I don’t think that will be hard,” Sorcha replied. “If I smile enough.”

  “That, or you’ll give him a heart attack,” I teased as we started back toward the walkway.

  Vance was still outside the store, though he had given up on the song and was whistling instead. He smiled as we reappeared, and for the first time since I’d spotted him, he seemed genuinely happy.

  He led us to a set of the strange stairs that dotted the mall. They were ribbed, rather than flat, and wider than a normal stair. Near the bottom, one of the steps was less than an inch high, but it would be easy to trip over if you weren’t paying attention.

  “Who builds stairs like this?” I griped as I stared at the offending quarter inch step.

  “It’s actually an escalator,” Vance remarked.

  “A what?” Sorcha asked as she watched me step over the last step and land heavily on the ground.

  “An escalator,” Vance said carefully. “They moved. People just stood on them and were carried up or down.”

  “Geez,” I remarked. “Maybe not everything that tour guide said about earlier generations being lazy wasn’t an exaggeration.”

  “I think it’s rather ingenious,” Vance stated. “There have been plenty of days when I wished I could get them moving again. I even tried to convince Darwin to let me borrow one of his power sources once to see if I could do it, but he said it didn’t have enough juice.”

  “What kind of juice?” I asked.

  “Whatever he was using that day, I guess,” Vance replied with a shrug.

  We’d arrived outside a store named ‘Macy’s’ that Sorcha and I had passed the night before. We’d peeked inside the doors, but hadn’t done much more when we’d spotted another endless parade of racks filled with women’s clothing.