A Bride for Alastair

by Wendy May Andrews

  Fred was surprised to see his sister’s face crease into a wide grin. “I know, Fred, and in fact, you’ve never abandoned me.”

  “Sure I did, Sybil. If I had been here, instead of at school, I never would have let you be so affected by a few whispers.”

  Sybil shrugged. “You might not have been able to stop me, Fred. I was rather infatuated with Horace, you know that. It was the gossip that forced his hand. But at the time, I was glad of it.” She paused for a moment in reflection. “I don’t envy you being attached, even if just through marriage, to that Phoebe women, but I can see now that it really wasn’t Jane’s fault. As you said, she was a child, forced into service, trying to gain the affection of her big sister. I can relate to trying to impress a sibling.”

  Fred shared an affectionate glance with his sister before he returned his attention to the street outside. “Are you going to be able to accept her?” He paused to allow her to answer, but he continued when she remained silent. Not wanting to pressure Sybil, Fred didn’t even look at her when he asked, “I do not think, as a man of honor, that I could abandon her, even though she kept this from me. I feel wretched as it is that I left her as I did. She must be beside herself by now.”

  “I doubt Jane is in hysterics, Fred. She struck me as a remarkably steady young woman.”

  This brought Fred’s gaze back to his sister. “Seems to me, you can’t be holding much of a grudge against her if you’re able to defend her in this way.”

  Sybil shrugged. “I had a chance to sleep on it. As you said, she was a child prattling to her older sister. She wasn’t trying to hurt me. And can you really blame her for keeping it to herself? If she even knew what her sister had done or what it had resulted in, what good is it to bring it all up now? Besides all that, you’re keeping a rather big secret from her as well.”

  A wave of guilt swamped Fred suddenly.

  “I’m going home.”

  Sybil trailed after him toward the door. “If she doesn’t want to see you after you left her like that, you’re always welcome here.”

  Fred couldn’t get away fast enough. What if Sybil’s words were true? What if Jane couldn’t forgive him for acting the cad? He wanted to run home but managed to keep himself to a reasonable walk. Still, he was out of breath by the time he finally reached his house. But then he hesitated as his fears crawled under his skin. The thought of Jane not forgiving him made his heart stutter in his chest. The feelings he already had for his wife far outmatched anything he had ever felt before, even the love he had for his sister paled in comparison. Did that mean he loved Jane? But what kind of love was it if he could abandon her at the first sign of trouble? He was a fool.

  Shocked to see his hand trembling as it reached toward the door handle, Fred took himself to task. He needed to be strong, own up to his mistakes, come clean with his own secrets, and make her forgive him. How he was going to do that remained a mystery, but he would do the best he could. Resolved, he turned the knob and entered the house.

  ~~~

  Jane wandered around the empty house until she found herself in the library. It was obviously the only room besides his bedchamber that Alastair used. It was also the only room that appeared to be fully furnished. A bubble of mirth rose in Jane at the thought. She, too, would want the library finished before any other room. But she shook her head. Truly, she had little in common with her husband. She shouldn’t allow something so random as a mutual love of reading to fill her with ideas for a comfortable future.

  Trailing her finger along a row of books, Jane was reading the titles when she heard the sounds of Alastair returning home. She froze for a moment, wondering if she ought to hide or confront him. Stiffening her spine, Jane decided she wasn’t going to cower in fear. She wanted to find happiness in this marriage. She was a fellow human; she deserved to be treated with a modicum of respect, Jane reminded herself as she tried to steel her backbone for what was sure to be an ordeal. She had married him in good faith and hoped they could resolve their issues.

  “Hello,” she called from the top of the staircase.

  “Good day, Jane. You look—” He paused, and she couldn’t help a gasp of laughter.

  “Don’t bother finishing the sentence, Alastair. I’m afraid I haven’t the stomach for lies, and I know you won’t want to insult me.”

  His grin was wry. “I should have thought before beginning the sentence. I was instinctively glad to see you. But to be honest, you don’t look like you slept well.”

  Jane shrugged and nodded. “I didn’t. I had been looking forward to sleeping in a bed that was firmly planted on a floor that doesn’t move. But the events of the day wouldn’t stop circling my mind.”

  “I know. I didn’t fare any better.”

  A part of Jane wanted to lower her lashes and hide her shame. She had been meaning to make her confession, but had been interrupted by Sybil. She doubted Alastair would believe that at this point though. She felt badly about her part in the fiasco, but after a night of reflection, she didn’t think she could be held accountable for another couple’s marriage simply due to words she had uttered as a youngster. Jane gazed at her husband, waiting to see what he would say. Would he try to reconcile or would he tell her to go?

  “I shouldn’t have left you here by yourself last night. You were probably nervous.”

  Jane nodded. “It is surprisingly creaky in the middle of the night for such a lovely, new house.”

  Alastair smiled. “You do get used to it.”

  Jane wasn’t sure if she would be there to find out. She decided in that moment not to wait for him to decide her fate. Grasping her courage in both hands and keeping her chin up, Jane asked the question that was most burning on her mind.

  “Are you going to cast me off?”

  “No, Jane, and I’m wretchedly sorry for even allowing you to think that was a possibility. I should never have left you here on your own yesterday, neither earlier in the day, and especially not last night. I’m ashamed of myself for doing so, and I hope you’ll eventually be able to find it in yourself to forgive me.”

  Jane’s heart soared at his words. Since she knew she loved her husband, she was fairly certain she would forgive him. Clearly, he seemed willing to forgive her. Jane tried to keep her hopes under control. After the words that were spoken yesterday, she shouldn’t be too certain of the man. She didn’t know what to say in reply to his statement, so she merely offered him a smile. Jane feared it was a weak one, but it was the best she could muster.

  “Could we go have a seat in the sitting room and talk?”

  Jane wrinkled her nose. “I feel an aversion to that room, at the moment. Could we perhaps go to the library or even the kitchen? Would you like a cup of tea?”

  Alastair chuckled, although it didn’t have a great deal of mirth behind it. “Are you one of those people who thinks tea can solve everything?”

  Jane laughed a little bit, too. “It’s not necessarily the solution to every problem, but it doesn’t hurt either.”

  “Very well, let us adjourn to the kitchen for some tea.”

  As Jane bustled around, stirring the fire and producing the kettle and tea bags, she watched from the corner of her eye as Alastair fidgeted, clearly still not comfortable with her. She sighed as she finally turned back toward him.

  “You haven’t said how Sybil is faring this morning.”

  “It’s generous of you to ask after her.”

  Jane shrugged. “Not really. I feel badly about the situation and feel dreadful that she was so upset yesterday. It doesn’t bode well for the future.”

  “She’s remarkably recovered today and feels you ought to be reassured that she accepts that it really isn’t your fault.”

  Jane blinked, surprised at the about face of the other woman.

  Alastair grinned. “My sister is a little flighty, but you’ll get used to her. And she can be delightful when she puts her mind to it.”

  Jane returned his smile as she poured the tea into
their cups. The swirling steam curling into the air was a comfortingly familiar scent. Maybe everything could be solved with a cup of tea. She was startled by Alastair loudly clearing his throat. He sounded nervous. Jane brought her puzzled gaze to his face.

  “I need to tell you about something. You aren’t the only one that was keeping a secret. I haven’t told you all the details surrounding our marriage.”

  Jane’s stomach cramped. “What kind of details?”

  Alastair reached out and clasped her hand. “Good ones, I promise, don’t look so worried.”

  Trying not to think the worst, Jane nodded. “Very well, then, please tell me quickly so I can stop worrying.”

  Alastair fidgeted with his tea cup but kept hold of her hand, which Jane found comforting despite her fear.

  “The thing is, I benefited greatly from our marriage.”

  Jane wrinkled her nose. “Do you mean because I’m such a catch?”

  “Don’t be sarcastic, Jane, you are a catch.”

  She didn’t really believe him, but she appreciated his saying so. “I benefited from our marriage because it protected me from my sister’s schemes. The husband she had picked out for me was a conniving fraudster, and I feared he wouldn’t treat me well.”

  When Alastair winced, Jane hurried to add, “Perhaps you should just explain.”

  His laughter sounded nervous, but he complied. “In order to receive a rather large inheritance, I needed to be married. And I need to stay married for at least a year to receive the full amount.”

  Jane felt her jaw fall open in shock and tried to close it firmly. “You married me for money?” she asked as wild laughter pressed against her throat. “I’ve been feeling so horribly about this entire thing, and I even ran away because of my sister’s schemes, and it has all been for money.”

  “Well, it isn’t all about the money, Jane. I find I’m coming to care about you. I think we could have a good life together.”

  “How? I rather think that these things will always hang over us.”

  “Not if we don’t let them, Jane. Please, try to understand.”

  Jane felt as though her heart were breaking once more. Once again, someone wanted her for what they could get from her. It was just like her father and her sister, and even the man Phoebe wanted her to marry. She felt the press of tears at the back of her lids and valiantly fought to keep them in check. Pulling her hand from Alastair’s warm grasp, Jane rose to her feet.

  “I’m going to have to think about this for a bit.”

  “We ought to talk about it, Jane, don’t shut me out.”

  “You shut me out last night, Alastair. I’m just trying to catch up. I just need some time to adjust my thinking. I was hoping for a home.”

  Alastair wrinkled his forehead, not understanding her words. “We have a perfectly good house here. Do you want me to sell it and buy another one? Is it not big enough or to your taste?”

  “This house is perfectly fine. But I don’t want just a house. And certainly not one I’m required to live in so that my husband can secure his inheritance. I want a home filled with joy and laughter, not a house of sadness and obligation.”

  Alastair nodded. “I’ll give you some time to think, then.”

  His face didn’t reveal much of his thoughts, but Jane almost suspected that she had hurt his feelings. She scoffed at the thought and watched as he turned away from her and headed toward the stairs up to the bedrooms. She figured he was going to repack his bag. He would probably be going to his sister’s again. It was for the best if it were him that went. Tears were pressing at the back of her eyelids. She hoped she could keep them contained until Alastair had left.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Fred was gathering a few items to put in his luggage, but his heart was sinking and his stomach felt like lead. This had been a disaster from the beginning. He should never have used the proxy Carter had sent him for himself. He should have found someone here in the city that he could trust and explain everything from the outset. And even if he had married Jane, he should have been honest with her from the start.

  But the fact was, he didn’t want to leave his wife. He quite liked her and rather thought he might love her. Fred could see a future with her, here in this house, with children running around and music and laughter filling all the empty spaces.

  He threw his bag across the room and ran back down to the kitchen. Jane was still standing where he had left her, as though she had frozen to the spot by his thoughtless words and actions.

  Fred strode toward her and grasped her shoulders.

  “I don’t want to leave this house. And I don’t want you to leave it either.”

  Her confused expression brought a much-needed smile to his lips.

  “All right, I don’t mean not ever, but I want us to stay here together, Jane. I should never have kept things from you. We both knew this marriage was a convenience for each of us. You were open about why you needed it, but I allowed you to think I married you as a favor to Carter, and that was weak of me. I apologize.”

  Her wide, steady, wet gaze made his stomach flutter. He already had his hands on her, but he wanted to pull her to his chest and hold her there. He didn’t do so, though, as he was afraid it would terrify her. He waited to see what she would say.

  “Then, why didn’t you?”

  “Why didn’t I what? Tell you the full story?”

  “Yes, exactly. As you said, I clearly benefited from our marriage. Why didn’t you tell me how much you benefited? Why did you want me to feel beholden to you?”

  Fred’s heart sank, and he felt the press of tears behind his own eyes. “I swear, I didn’t want you to feel beholden to me. It’s just that I didn’t actually need the inheritance. I was doing very well for myself with my business. I didn’t need the money. The inheritance has made it possible for me to gain control over Horace. My mother’s sister was a sweet old lady, but she had strong notions. She was determined that I ought to be married. She always hated Horace, so she left all her money to me, rather than to Sybil. But she stipulated that I needed to be married and stay married to gain full access to the funds. I don’t actually need any more money, although it is nice to be even more comfortable. But while I was well off before, I didn’t have scads of extra that would allow me to manipulate Horace. Now, by offering him money with certain conditions, it has created a situation wherein he is treating Sybil much better.”

  He could tell Jane was listening attentively, but she still hadn’t relaxed. She did seem convinced by his explanation. He continued. “It is a significant amount of money. And I’ve found people, women in particular, have treated me differently because of the money I already had. I preferred you to come to know me for me, not because of my bank account.”

  Her wide gaze finally filled with tears, and they started to slide down her cheeks. Fred couldn’t take it anymore; he pulled her firmly in to his chest. Perhaps he was squeezing her too hard, but she didn’t protest. And he had no intention of ever letting her go.

  ~~~

  The thud of his heartbeat was sweet comfort as his strong arms held her tightly against his warm chest. Jane could stand there all day. All week, even. Frankly, she would like to never step away from her husband’s warm embrace. She hadn’t felt this cared for since she lost her mother. She realized she had given her heart into her husband’s keeping somewhere between Indiana and Ohio. And just maybe he would be willing to hand his over into her care. The thought made her heart beat faster, and she snuggled closer into his chest.

  His chuckle rumbled up into her ear.

  “You’re acting like a kitten searching for warmth.”

  Jane joined him in laughter. It was a good release for the pent-up feelings threatening to overwhelm her.

  “The fact that you haven’t pulled away or slapped my face gives me reason to hope you might give me a chance to make it up to you.” Alastair’s hopeful expression made the butterflies pick up their fluttering in between her stomach an
d her heart.

  Grinning and nodding, Jane stepped back slightly to better see his face. Her heart soared when, instead of dropping his arms away from her, he went back to holding her shoulders.

  “I guess we still have a lot to learn about each other. Perhaps we could just say that there hasn’t been time to divulge everything and simply forgive the things that we might not have loved hearing about and move on.” She said the words softly and held her breath to await his response.

  Jane could feel his searching gaze scouring her face to ascertain her sincerity.

  “Do you think you really can forgive this breach?”

  She shrugged slightly. “Since you have no intention of abandoning me nor allowing me to abandon you, has there really been a breach? I’m sure there are many things I’ve yet to learn about you. But please, tell me this, are there any more large secrets looming?”

  He shook his head.

  “Are you completely certain? No children lurking in a basement I didn’t yet come across? No former fiancés who shall be planning my demise?”

  “No, I swear it, I haven’t anything large or nasty in my past. And I shall make every effort to be an open book for you to peruse at your leisure.”

  “Did you know that reading is my greatest pleasure?”

  “I had an inkling, my dear.”

  “I look forward to the reading of this particular book.”

  With a soft smile, Alastair’s head started to descend toward hers. Jane tilted her face up to meet his. He was just a whisper away when he told her fervently, “I love you to the depths of my heart, Mrs. Jane Fredericksburg. If you’ll allow me, I’d consider it an honor to court you.”

  Jane grinned. “Do you always do things backwards?”

  “Not always,” he replied before erasing her grin by placing his lips gently on hers.

  Jane sighed into the kiss, releasing her grip on sanity. She had finally found home.

  The End