Monster World 2

by Michael James Ploof

  “Sweeeet,” Doughboy said from my backpack against the wall.

  We all glanced at it, then I looked at the two Blacks. “What are two Clan Black rangers doing this side of the wall?”

  “R-R-Running away,” said Blue.

  Gray slapped him in the chest. “We ain’t running away. We’re seeking help.”

  Blue snickered and ogled me with a simpleton’s gaze. “We’re r-r-running away.”

  “Damnit, you!” Gray said.

  “Do you know what happened to Scarlett? Is that why you’re running—I mean seeking help so far west?”

  “We know what happened to Scarlett,” said Gray. “It’s been happening to a lot of us lately. So far twelve have disappeared in the same manner.”

  “Who took them?” I urged. “Who’s behind all this?”

  “G-G-Gorrcon,” said Blue.

  The pub suddenly became silent, and I slowly scoured the room to find every head turned our way.

  “Sorry!” I said. “He’s got indigestion.”

  “You mean the Gorrcon?” Hannah whispered. “The warlock whose armies almost breached the Monster Bane Mountains?”

  “Yes,” said Gray. “We think he’s back, and he’s taking his revenge on the clan.”

  “Great, a warlock,” I said with a sarcastic laugh and sipped my beer. “That should be fun.”

  “Doughboy said he saw a demonic figure take Scarlett. That sound like one of Gorrcon’s minions?”

  “Doughboy?” said Gray.

  “My magical wad of dough that likes to eat monster faces.” I nodded toward the backpack.

  “Yes, that sounds like one of Gorrcon’s minions,” said Gray.

  “Are you sure it is truly him?” Hannah asked. “I thought Red Black killed him long ago.”

  “So did R-R-Red,” said Blue.

  “Warlocks are masters of death,” said Gray. “And Gorrcon was the most powerful of them all. It seems he has found a way around death.”

  “That’s a neat trick.” I finished the rest of my beer when I saw Tresha coming with the new round.

  She sensed the tension at the table and asked if Hannah and I were all right.

  “Just keep the beers coming,” I said, adding, “And by the way, that stew was a blue ribbon winner. Your recipe?”

  “My gram’s,” she said, blushing.

  When she left us again, Gray leaned in. “We’re west of the mountains on Red’s orders, in search of the famed wizard, Maximarus.”

  “Sounds like a big deal, that guy.” I tasted my new beer and savored the flavor. All this warlock, demon, and wizard talk was sure making me thirsty, and I might have had a little buzz on.

  “Maximarus is the most gifted wizard to grace Fenzindel in the last hundred years,” said Gray a bit defensively.

  “But why does Red need this Maximillian guy if he already defeated Gorrcon once?”

  “M-M-Maximarus,” Blue corrected me.

  “That’s what I said. Why does Red need him?”

  “The wizard may be our only hope. Many lives, perhaps every life, depends on it.”

  “Wait a minute.” I waved my hands in surrender. “Don’t try to sell me some end of the world shit here. Even if Gorrcon is some badass warlock, it doesn’t mean he’s going to bring about the end of the world. This is all pretty melodramatic.”

  “Do not underestimate—”

  “The power of the dark side?”

  “No,” said Gray. “The power of the magi.”

  “Maximarus is known far and wide as a wise and powerful mage,” said Hannah.

  “Yeah? Then why’s he such a hard dude to find?” I asked. “He a hermit or something?”

  “He goes where the wind blows him,” Gray said with reverence. “He follows the waters to distant shores, migrates with the birds, dances with the—”

  “So you’re telling me he’s some hippy who aimlessly wanders the earth? I mean Tarth? Sounds like Red’s really scraping the bottom of the barrel. You Blacks all have some insane magical powers. I saw it firsthand. Why don’t you all just go kick this Gorrcon’s ass?”

  “Our powers are strong but limited,” said Gray. “We cannot do it alone.”

  “Are you kidding me?”

  “Sir Jake,” said Hannah, indicating I was being too loud.

  I stared Gray in the eyes. “Dude, I saw your brethren, or whatever you call them, summon a friggin’ tornado. I mean, the person who did it passed out afterward, but you don’t see that shit every day. I’d think the lot of you working together could kick this warlock dude’s ass pretty damn easy.”

  “This warlock you speak of so dismissively is the most powerful that has—”

  “Yeah, yeah, he’s a regular Voldemort. So what? What makes him so powerful?”

  “He can s-s-summon the un-d-d-dead,” Blue managed to say.

  “Not only that, but he can raise his fallen enemies.” I heard fear in his voice. “You don’t understand, Sir Jake. He surrounds himself with the most terrible creatures imaginable. It is nearly impossible to get to him, unless—”

  “Unless what?”

  “Unless you do something like Red did. He pretended to be a sycophant and went through the initiation phase. He killed… he did terrible things. It took him years, but finally he got close enough.”

  “And what? Killed Gorrcon? Just like that?”

  “Yes, just like that,” said Gray. “But it was not as easy as you make it sound. Red was never the same after that. But he saved the lives of tens of thousands. Had he not killed Gorrcon, the monsters of the Badlands and worse would have flooded the Monster Bane Mountains and poured into the mainland, and they would have left a trail of blood and tears behind them the likes of which has never been seen.”

  “That’s why he can’t kill Gorrcon this time,” Hannah said in realization. “Gorrcon knows who he is. Everyone does.”

  “And Gorconn is probably gunning for Red,” I added.

  “Exactly,” said Gray. “Which brings us to the disappearance of our brothers and sisters. Gorconn is out for revenge, and Red fears the warlock will kill every last one of them to get back at him.”

  “Shit.” I chugged my beer, fearful for Scarlett.

  “Poor Scarlett,” said Hannah.

  “So you think this Maximarus guy can help, huh?” I asked Gray.

  “If anyone c-c-can,” said Blue, “he c-c-can.”

  “Maximarus is our only hope,” Gray added.

  “That’s not true,” said Hannah. “Celesta brought Jake all the way from another world to find Scarlett.”

  “You’re really from another planet?” Gray asked.

  “Yeah, but I don’t share Hannah’s opinion of my ability to help with this, not if Gorrcon is half as badass as you say he is. Hell, I’m a pizza-slinging college kid who just wants to drink, fuck, and have fun. I don’t need this shit. But Scarlett’s my friend, so here I am.”

  “M-M-Maybe he should c-c-come with us.” Blue looked at Gray expectantly.

  “No,” I said. “That’s a waste of resources. I’m sure the two of you can hunt down some old geezer. I’m going to continue with the quest I was given.”

  “You mean we?” said Hannah.

  “I ignored her. “I’m on my way to speak with Red. I need to find out more about Gorrcon and how to kill him. Can you tell me where to find him? I’m not familiar with the Black, uh, lair or whatever.”

  “Red is with the rest of our brothers and sisters in the Black Keep.” Gray glanced around, leaned in conspiratorially, and whispered the directions. I memorized the way as best I could, and the Blacks finished their beers and stood.

  I offered a hand to each man.

  “Good luck on your quest, Sir Jake,” said Gray.

  “Good luck finding Maximarus. Perhaps we’ll meet again.”

  “M-M-M’lady.” Blue gave Hannah a small bow, and the men left.

  “Strange they’re not staying here for the night,” said Hannah.

  “Speaki
ng of that, we need to get a room. We’ve got a long day of travel ahead of us.” I finished my beer and belatedly realized my pockets were empty. “Shit. You didn’t happen to bring any money, did you?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Of course I did. Who sets out on a quest with no funds?”

  “My manor was kind of burned to the ground. You mind taking care of the bill? I’ll pay you back.”

  She paid, and we rented a room for the night and asked for the horses to be stabled. Tresha thought it strange for a lady to be paying for a room, and she offered to let me spend the night in her bed instead. I graciously declined, saying I’d never be able to do her as good as she deserved, given how tired I was.

  She didn’t believe me, of course, and gave Hannah a knowing look.

  Stairs to the right of the bar led us up to a balcony overlooking the pub. Down a hall were four doors on each side. Our room was at the end and on the right, and just as Tresha had warned us, it was tiny. The bed was large, however, and as soon as I saw it, I staggered over and crashed on it face-first.

  Doughboy rolled out of the backpack, came to a stop against the wall, and gave a contented yawn.

  “Excuse me,” said Hannah. “But I believe in this situation, the lady gets the bed.”

  “Sorry, sweetheart, but I’m going to be sleeping on the ground for god knows how long after this, so you’re just going to have to deal with it.” I sat up, unlatched my pauldrons and forearm guards, and tossed them and my gauntlets on the floor. My boots and shin guards went next, followed by the rest of my armor and my shirt. I left the pants on for Hannah’s sake.

  She didn’t quite know what to do, and huffed and puffed while I undressed. I pulled the sheet up and patted the bed next to me.

  “I’m not going to try anything,” I said sleepily.

  “That’s not what I heard,” she said with a raised brow.

  “What has Eva been telling you?”

  “She told me enough.”

  I rolled over so she could have some privacy. “Just go to sleep.”

  I heard her undress and felt her slip in beside me. It had been a hell of a long day, and I started drifting off immediately. But Hannah didn’t seem tired at all, and I could feel her shifting around continuously.

  “Jake?” she whispered.

  “Ugh. Sleeping.”

  “Do you love Scarlett?”

  That woke me up. “Why are you asking me that?”

  “You’re risking your life to save her.”

  “I was summoned by Eva to find Scarlett because she’s our friend. Now will you please let me sleep?”

  “You didn’t answer the question. Do you love her?”

  I rolled over. She was on her side, staring at me. The light coming in under the door offered enough illumination for me to see. “Have you ever met Scarlett?”

  “Yes, she visited Eva last month. She stayed for a few days, and I got to know her.”

  “But you barely know her. Why are you asking if I love her? What are you doing, fishing for information for the princess?”

  “I couldn’t sleep and wanted to talk, but never mind if you’re so tired.”

  “Good night.” I rolled over and was out in no time.

  I dreamed of Becka. She wasn’t crying in her cereal, wondering where I’d disappeared to. She was on Tarth with me, and we were on a quest to find Frodo Baggins’s lost nipple ring.

  Yeah, dreams are weird.

  I woke up the next morning feeling groggy, and I was hungry as hell. Hannah wasn’t in bed next to me, but Doughboy was still snoozing away at the foot of the bed.

  “Hey, D, you know where Hannah went?”

  He shrugged and yawned.

  “I hope she didn’t get in any trouble.” I got up and dressed in my armor. The longer I wondered about Hannah, the more worried I became.

  I was just about to go in search of her when the door opened, and she maneuvered across the threshold balancing a steaming cup of coffee and a pastry in each hand.

  “Good morning,” she said cheerfully. She looked like she had already bathed and done herself up.

  “Thanks.” I accepted a coffee and pastry and dug in. “You get this downstairs?”

  “Tresha was insistent that you try her pastries. She said she had other treats for you, as well.”

  “Ha ha,” I said with my mouth full.

  A woman’s scream quieted us both, and I froze to listen more closely. It sounded like there was an argument going on downstairs, and I could hear Tresha’s voice.

  “Wait here,” I said, and when Doughboy bounded off the bed and padded toward the door, I added, “Both of you.”

  I stuffed the rest of the pastry into my mouth, grabbed my pizza shovel, and crept down the hall toward the balcony overlooking the pub. Tresha was really giving it to someone, and I felt bad for the dude until I peered over the railing and saw half a dozen soldiers wearing the Fenzindel crest.

  “Where is the defiler?” one of the soldiers asked in a threatening tone.

  “You have no right to disturb my guests!” said Tresha.

  “We are here on the king’s orders, and if I find out you’re hiding a fugitive, you can kiss your little shithole of a pub goodbye.”

  I hurried back down the hall as soldiers started up the stairs. Hannah was watching me from the door with Doughboy on her shoulder.

  “We gotta split,” I hissed. “Come on!”

  There was a window at the end of the hall. I scanned at the street below. There were no guards that I could see, and there was a ledge we could climb out on. Hopefully there was somewhere to go from there. I opened the window and held the curtain for Hannah.

  “Ladies first.”

  She slunk out without a word. A moment later a soldier topped the stairs and yelled down the hall.

  “You there, halt!”

  I joined her on the ledge. The drop was about fifteen feet, and I knew we couldn’t make it without breaking something.

  Where was a wagon full of hay when you needed one?

  “Sweeeet!” said Doughboy. He hopped up and down, reaching for me like a toddler who wanted to be carried. When I looked at him curiously, he puffed up like a balloon.

  “Good idea, bro,” I said and told Hannah to take Doughboy’s hands.

  “Why?” she asked.

  “Trust me.”

  When the guard who had yelled at me to stop popped his head out, I yanked him out by the collar. He landed in the street with a thud and groaned like the wind had been knocked out of him. People walking by gasped and pointed up at us.

  “Go!” I said and shoved Doughboy into Hannah’s arms. I gave her a push, and she screamed as she was pitched off the ledge. Doughboy puffed up and expanded like a parachute, and although she didn’t exactly float down to the street like Mary Poppins, she managed to land on her feet without hurting herself.

  I sat on the ledge, turned myself around, and lowered myself, hanging from my fingertips. The fall was still at least eight feet, but I landed without breaking anything and grabbed her hand.

  We raced to the stables, only to skid to a stop when we saw a group of the king’s guard waiting for us. They stood between us and our horses, and all three were armed.

  “Don’t worry,” I told Hannah. “I’ve got this.”

  I walked forward and pulled my pizza shovel from my back, giving it a few practice swings.

  “You boys sure you want to dance with the man who killed the Goblin King?”

  “Drop your weapon, Baker, and call off your demon,” said one of the soldiers. They unsheathed their swords in unison.

  Doughboy growled.

  “Make it quick, bro, but don’t kill anyone.”

  “Not sweeeet!” he grumbled, and two of the soldiers shared a fearful glance.

  “We only kill monsters, remember?”

  Doughboy continued to complain as he padded toward the men. One of them leapt forward and split Doughboy in two with his sword, but my little buddy’s body reforme
d after the blade hit the ground.

  I charged the stunned soldiers as Doughboy sprang into action. His arms shot out left and right and wrapped around the necks of two of them. He jerked them toward each other and bashed their heads together.

  They crumpled to the ground, and Doughboy jumped onto the face of the third soldier. I parried a sword as one of the soldiers still standing tried to gut me like a pig. His sword arm went wide, and I slammed the shaft of the pizza shovel into his face. Another soldier tried to get in a cheap shot from behind, but I spun and slapped that blade aside, putting him down in the same manner.

  Doughboy kept the rest of them busy while Hannah and I mounted up. More soldiers were racing toward the stables, so I slapped the reins and told Doughboy to jump on. We shot out into the path of the pursuing soldiers, sending them scrambling out of the way.

  The horses’ hooves clicked on the cobblestone as we raced down the street, and villagers screamed and dove out of the way when they saw us coming. We continued through the village and sped through the open gates.

  “I think we lost them!” she yelled over the wind.

  “Think again.” I pointed at the horsemen emerging from the gate.

  “We’re not going to outrun them.” The soldiers were hot on our tails. They were about four hundred yards away and gaining.

  “What do we do?” Hannah asked, raising her voice to be heard.

  The road took a hard right turn and continued down into a valley, and for a time we were out of sight of our pursuers. I pulled the stallion to a stop and dismounted. Hannah halted beside me.

  “Take my horse to that copse of birch trees and stay out of sight,” I said.

  “What are you going to do?”

  “Set a trap. Go!”

  She led my horse away and made herself invisible. The trees nearby were like those from the south, with that old man’s beard stuff hanging off them like a hag’s tattered cloak.

  “Doughboy, I want you to climb up there and wait. I’m going to get the soldiers to stop right under you, and when they do, drop and wreak havoc.”

  “Sweeeet,” he said and rubbed his little hands together.

  “And D, no killing unless it’s absolutely necessary,” I reminded him sternly.