I came into this bar to use someone like that idiot of a bartender, but then I saw Zane and thought what luck I had. It was obvious he wasn’t okay, and I know I don’t owe him shit. I just couldn’t leave him there, not with the way he was. No, let me rephrase that. The way he is.
I tore the keys from his hand the second I got outside and told his ass to get in the car. I don’t know where we were going, but I knew we couldn’t go back to the club. Zane told me about a property the club bought, about how it’s a brothel but it’s not fully functional yet . . . meaning it was private. I asked him if he knew the address and he plugged it into the navigation system in the car.
We got there in about fifteen minutes and just as he said, no one was there. The construction crews have long been gone, and there’s only a few lamps illuminating the driveway. There’s a big sort of hotel kinda vibe here with the way it wraps around, with smaller little houses located around the property. Zane told me to go to one of the little ones, so I did. He got out of the car and tried the door, but it was locked, so his ass tried to find other ways into this joint. A window was left open, so he slid it up and we both got in the room that way.
After turning on a light, I figure this is like a small themed cabin. The cabin we’ve walked into is . . . dark, filled with some of the deeper desires one might have. A St. Andrew’s cross is on the back wall, while the bed doubles as a cage. There are even restraints on both sides of the bed. This room is where the kinky fuckers go and damn, if we had to walk into any room . . . it couldn’t have been something that didn’t scream sex? Jesus.
“Want to tell me what happened tonight?” I ask, not even sure if he’ll say anything to me.
“Just a bunch of family shit, darlin’. Nothin’ you need to worry your little heart about.”
I roll my eyes, and I make damn sure to show him I’m not pleased. Heading over to the leather armchair by the window in the bedroom, I take a seat and open the bottle of vodka. Taking a swig, I raise my brows at him. “I thought we weren’t gonna start this off with lies.”
“We aren’t.”
“Pretty positive you’re already lying. If we’re gonna make this work, Zane, or even be friends we can’t lie to one another. I’m tired of lies. So, tell me what’s going on. Maybe I can help.”
He shakes his head while he looks to the floor, “There isn’t a fuckin’ way you can help me with this, Cinnamon.”
“How about you shut up and just tell me?” I bark, gritting my teeth.
Zane sucks in a deep breath and leans against the wall across from me. “Found out my club was hidin’ shit today, somethin’ they should’ve told me about. One of our members is missin’ and two of them are hurt pretty damn bad. If that wasn’t the worst part about it all, I found out my dad lied to me my entire life.”
Now this is interesting. “What do you mean by that?”
“I’m adopted. Not sure if you knew that or not,” He mutters, sliding his hands into his pockets.
“No, I didn’t.”
“Yeah, well, I was adopted by my dad and mom when I was little. My twin brother too. I was told and was always led to believe a man named Michael Nichols was my father. He used to be in the Reapers years ago. The story that I was told is he fucked a clubwhore and she didn’t want us. He tried to take care of us but ended up followin’ the chicks lead and split too. Instead of lettin’ us go into the foster system, my mom and dad adopted us.”
“They must’ve been great people,” I comment, genuinely being sincere.
“Yeah, Mom was. She was the fuckin’ best. God, I miss her every day.”
He misses her? I didn’t know she had died, but I knew Fist did. He took a knife to the heart saving . . . Alexa. Oh! That must be the same Alexa he was talkin’ to me about earlier. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
Zane gives me a half-smile, but the kind that makes you think they’re saying ‘thank you’. “It’s been a long time since she passed. At least the cancer was quick.”
God, I couldn’t imagine losing my mom. She and I aren’t the closest, her being a free spirit and all, but she’s still my mom. “So, you said you were led to believe. I take it you were lied to.” I speak up, hoping that by talking about it, this will help him.
“Ding-Ding-Ding,” Zane sounds like a slot machine. He takes a step toward me and takes the bottle from my hand, taking a hefty shot straight from the bottle and hands it back. I figure what the hell and do the same. The vodka burns, practically making me gag. Shit, this stuff is good. “So, get ready for this. My dad, the man who raised me is actually my uncle.”
Fist had two siblings from what I know. A sister named Roxy who was married to Rage from the Iron Vex MC for a while until she was able to get out of that. His brother was his VP, and I think his name was something like . . . Biscuit. Yeah, I think that’s what it was. “Wow. That must’ve been a shock.”
“Understatement of the century. So, my biological father had been around me my entire life, Cinnamon. He’s dead now, and he never even told me. Dad told Kade after he saw our birth certificates and Kade had confronted him. That’s when he was finally honest with him, but, they never told me. I don’t get it.”
I can’t imagine the way he feels betrayed, especially after everything he’s discovered over the last day. It must be rough. “I’m so sorry, Zane.” I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. It’s not like I’ll make any of it better in the least bit.
“Feels like everyone close to me just needs to lie, you know?”
I nod, knowing all too well. “Yeah, just remember people do stupid shit. I’m not excusing what they did, because it was wrong, but people always feel like their reasons are valid, even if they’re dumb.”
“Look at you, bein’ a fortune cookie.” Zane jokes, poking fun at my bluntness.
“Destiny is what you make of life.” I cockily reply back, sticking my tongue out at him.
“Oh girl, you’d better watch where you point that tongue. I might put you to work.” I can tell he doesn’t even think about it from the way his cheeks flush. While his cheeks are growing red, I feel a heaviness in my chest. I don’t know if it’s because everything with Inc is so fresh, or if it’s the longing for some sort of companionship.
I take a swig of the vodka, taking double what Zane did when he took his last drink and stand up. The burning sensation shoots through my body, and with it, so does courage. They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
I know we’ve just met. I know how fucking insane this is in my mind. But, I also know I’m going to be with this man until one of us dies, so better to rip off the band-aid than keep trying to make it stick.
I’m hurting, my heart’s been ripped into so many pieces it’s not even funny, and the only thing I want is to be held. To have a pair of arms wrapped around me, giving me the illusion that everything will end up okay.
Inhaling through my nose, I strut directly up to Zane, drop the bottle on the ground and slam my lips onto his while I work my hands at his jeans. He pulls back, “Whoa, are we really doing this? Here? Right now?”
“Shut up and fuck me, Zane.” I hiss, pulling the zipper to his pants down. He’s quick to kick his jeans off. Meanwhile, my hands have already gone under his cut and he tosses it on the desk in the room. I peel his shirt off and see the most defined abs I’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing. His skin is a deep caramel, reminding me of filling inside of a Milky Way bar.
Zane’s hands pull up my shirt and I pull down my shorts, only standing in a pair of navy-blue lace panties with a matching push up bra. He slowly drags his tongue across his top lip and chuckles sinfully. “Cinnamon, you didn’t tell me you were one of them.”
“Them?” I question, pulling my hands behind my back, I unhook my bra and drop it on the floor in front of me. My nipples harden at the instant difference in temperature. This cabin has to be in the low seventies from the air conditioning unit.
“Mhm, one of them chicks who b
uys the nice lingerie. The type you tear off with your teeth.”
Zane skims his hand over my nipple, teasing and toying with it. He pinches and I jolt, biting the inside of my mouth ‘cause fuck I feel wetness pooling between my legs. He doesn’t realize how badly I need this. How much I’m craving feeling something, anything except the sadness, the betrayal, the hurt.
“Are you going to fuck me, or what?” I snap.
He takes off his fitted boxers and I see his cock. The intense veins surrounding it and the piercings. Not piercing. Piercings, as in multiple. He has one underneath the head of his cock, another that goes through his urethra, and one on his balls. I had no idea this man liked pain. Fuck. We may have a couple things in common. I’m not as innocent as I look.
Zane hooks his thumbs under my panties and I assumed he was going to take them off, but that isn’t what happens. He turns me away from him, pushes me down and impales his cock inside me at the same time. I’m being pushed so far down I can touch my toes, and with every thrust I can feel heat boiling over at my core. With every movement he’s grinding his cock against my g-spot.
“God dammit,” I cry out, palming at the floor below us, but I have nothing to grip onto, so my nails scrape against the wood.
A stinging sensation shoots against my right cheek, and then my left. “Shit, you get worked up quick.” Another slap on both cheeks. “Keep getting’ worked up, Cinnamon.”
He pulls his cock out until I feel the head at my entrance. But, his fingers strum against my clit like it’s a guitar. Slowly, he shoves himself back in, the metal of his rings causing me to jolt. My body slowly shivers and then stops when he halts. “Zane,” I grumble, showing my obvious displeasure.
“I’m gonna milk this pussy of yours and unleash my load in your perfect little cunt as much as I want. I’ll fuck you like a savage, and I’ll fuck you slow. I’ll fuck you from your head and down to your toes. But Cinnamon, you’re gonna cum harder than you ever have with what’s-his-name, ‘cause I know how to pleasure a woman.” Zane pulls the hand up from my clit and grabs the back of my hair, yanking me against him while he rams his cock in and out of me, fucking me so hard the sound of our skin slapping together is filling the room.
Heat. Warmth. Rushing.
It all overwhelms me until I’m screaming with my release, being held by someone who might not even give a damn about me. But, at least it gives me the illusion of being cared about.
I thought fucking him would make me feel better, and while it did for a second, my heart only burns more for the one I left behind. The one I wish I could forget about. Zane isn’t Inc and he never will be. Even in knowing that, I need to do the best I can to make this work . . . because I don’t want to run my entire life.
Chapter Thirteen
Sometimes the healing is in the aching
~ Unknown
Zane
If someone would’ve told me I’d be right here, right now . . . I would’ve called them insane. Funny how the world works. I’m layin’ beside Octavia. She’s wrapped in some matte black Egyptian cotton or silk type of sheets. I watch as her chest rises and falls, the most peaceful I’ve seen her since we met.
In a way, I’m kinda in denial about what transpired tonight between the two of us. I don’t know what changed in her head, why she started lookin’ at me different or any of that. My head is tellin’ me she hasn’t looked at me different, but she’s using different shit to dull her pain. She tries to cope with alcohol, but I’m wonderin’ if sex is an issue too . . . or if it was purely to help her get over that guy she left back home.
I rise from the bed and walk over to the window where my pants and boxers lay in a pile. While I get dressed I ponder everythin’ I know about her, which isn’t much. If I really think about it, the only thing she hasn’t told me that I know is how all of her siblings are kids from clubwhores. Her dad really got around back in the day. Otherwise, she’s a mystery to me.
We very well might be strangers, but I don’t have a doubt about it that we can relate. When you think about it, we were both lied to, deceived, tricked, betrayed or whatever word you’d prefer to use. I have to admit, I’m thankful she’s not viewing me as the enemy anymore. I was preparin’ myself for that, though. I even bought chloroform to knock her ass out if she got on my fuckin’ nerves.
Picking my shirt up off the floor, I slide it back over my head and put my arms through. Dad lied to me, but he must’ve had a good reason. Right? He had to have some reasoning on why he didn’t tell me Cracker was my biological father.
A rustling sound comes back from the bed and I spot Octavia sitting up, holding the sheets against her chest. “God, what time is it?”
I shrug, pointing out the window to the horizon. “Looks to be a bit before sunrise,”
“Wow. It’s beautiful here,” Octavia says in the moment. One of the qualities I already adore about her is how she finds the beauty in every situation.
I debate whether or not I should ask her this, but fuck it. “You know fuckin’ me won’t make your memory of him go away, yeah?”
She gapes her mouth open, before shutting it abruptly and nods. “I know that. Can’t deny things wouldn’t be easier if it did.”
“Nah, ya can’t.” I reply.
Octavia gets off the bed, picks up the remnants of her clothes from the floor and gets dressed as well. I slide my cut on and check my phone, seein’ more missed calls and texts than I want to admit.
From: Grim
Yo. Where the fuck are you? Kade’s losin’ his shit. Said somethin’ about shit hittin’ the fan between you two. Text me back. Wanna make sure you’re good.
From: Kade
You took off without sayin’ a word? I know that was a mindfuck, but you don’t do shit like that man.
From: Ashley
Zane. Where are you? I’ve been trying to call. I called Kade and he said you’re in Las Vegas, which you didn’t even tell me but we’ll get into that later. He did tell me you two got in a fight and . . . he said you were probably gonna tell me something when you get back. I’m freaking out. Are you okay? Is he okay? Is Ivy okay? Are the twins okay? Jesus, call me for fuck’s sake. I’m losing my shit, Zane. I love you. Just tell me everything is okay.
Christ almighty. I’ll deal with Grim and Kade in a bit, but I need to text Ashley back before she goes into labor. She’s about to pop at any given moment.
To: Ashley
Hey, I’m alright. Just gettin’ to know Octavia . . . if you know what I mean, lol. Kade and I got in a tiff, but things will be fine Ash, they always clear up. I just need some time. Promise I’ll tell you everything soon. Love you.
Ashley is married to my interim VP, Blackjack. He has a kid from a previous relationship who’s almost ready to head off to college. I think Dex is in his senior year of high school now. Ash and Blackjack have a young daughter named Noelle, and she’s gonna have a baby boy any day now. Feels like she’s been pregnant for a damn century, though. Pretty sure she’s a few days past her due date which makes me anxious. Ash has had two or three miscarriages, so if the baby is still cookin’ it freaks me out.
The way she’d been after she lost the babies . . . it wrecked me, ‘cause there’s nothin’ I could do as her brother to make her feel better. The only thing you ever wanna do is protect your family, and when you can’t do that it’s the worst feelin’ in the world.
“I don’t expect to be able to erase everything I had with him you know,” Octavia starts to say, so I turn away from the window and look at her. She stares right at me and while she might appear okay to most people, the way her eyes are glossed over tells me how much she’s still hurtin’. And damn, how I hate to see women hurt. “I don’t expect everything to just be okay, to not miss him, or miss the way things were back home. This is a huge change, but it’s one I’ve accepted. It’s one I can’t deny and I’ll do my best to make the best of this situation. I’ll be honest Zane, when I first was told about all this, I thought you had a choi
ce in the matter as well. It took me a while to realize you’re as trapped as I am. Our fathers made this agreement amongst themselves for the better part of our clubs, and if you didn’t want to honor it, you didn’t have to. So, I kind of wonder why you did. You have the club down here now . . . so you’re expanding. Why do you need the Raiders?”
I should’ve known she was a smart woman. I might not need the Raiders, not really anyway. I know why my dad made the agreement with Ice, because he didn’t have certain allies that we do now back in the day. Honestly, he could’ve thrown it out. But he didn’t. That’s not to say I couldn’t nix it . . . but anyone who knows me knows I’m a family man. I could be honoring the agreement Dad made, or I might be doin’ this shit ‘cause I know they were bein’ targeted for a reason and the thought of a woman ending up hurt or dead because of me not acting, or acting in a certain way. Mmm, nope. I can’t live with that.
Again, I find myself in a position where I debate lyin’ to her. I could say what is partially true, that being how her father has connections with the man who owns the docks. How we could use it to ship drugs. Dad never got out of that business and we do still manage it up in Montana. Though, I’m not fond of it, I’m also not willing to let the club run into the ground because we don’t have enough money to take care of everyone.
Yet, I know it wouldn’t really be the truth. I’d be lyin’. “I didn’t have to do this. That’s the God’s honest truth. I could’ve burned that fuckin’ contract and told your brother to go fuck himself.”
Octavia’s eyes widen. “Why didn’t you do that then . . . I mean . . . this doesn’t make sense to me.”
Glancing down at the floor for a moment before I look back to hers and I finally speak, “Is it hard to believe I’m not as bad as they say? That I have a heart in here, and knowin’ women were bein’ targeted pissed me off. Maybe I have a death wish, maybe I’m insane . . . honest answer is I dunno. It surely would’ve been easier to not give a flyin’ fuck about an innocent woman, but I kinda got pissed about what was happenin’ to all your sisters. It’s not like your dad or brother were doin’ a good job protectin’ ya ladies.” I shrug, actin’ like this isn’t a big deal.
Mayhem: A Reapers MC Boxset Page 21