~ Bald Brothers
Zane
It happened again last night. If I’m right, this is the eighth night she’s said his name in her sleep. It shouldn’t affect me the way it does, but damn this shit burns. Octavia was in a relationship with him for years, so I know she wouldn’t just get over him overnight. Hell, I don’t expect that shit of her. If I did, I’d be the biggest asshole on the planet.
What I expect and need is for me to know I’m makin’ some sort of positive impact when it comes to her. With every day that passes I know we’re getting closer. I see it in various ways, the way she smiles at me and blushes when we cook in the kitchen. Over dinner when Sydney says something ridiculous and I make a jab at Octavia like most couples do. When we walk down to the club and check in on the progress and she starts grabbin’ for my hand but stops.
Everythin’ is pointin’ in the right direction, but every now and again I think she’s afraid to let down all her walls. But I’m not. She’s proven the type of woman she is to me. One who deserves much better than the man I am if you ask me. She’s accepting, loving, and ridiculously open-minded.
We’ve been with each other for a little over three weeks, but my feelin’s grow for her more and more every day. She has this pull at my heart, and I can guarantee if she wasn’t the beautiful soul that she is, shit wouldn’t be like this.
Not much has been goin’ on here. Construction is still goin’ on and the clubhouse should be done soon, probably within the next day or so. The foreman told me he’d give me a heads up as soon as it’s finished. On the other hand, Octavia got another package in from Chains the other day. It was her laptop, hard drives, and stuff like that. She’d been borrowing my laptop since she’s been here, but man, she ripped that thing open and started editing photos like it was nothing.
Won’t even lie. I stood there behind her and watched everything she was doin’. She made that remark about a silhouette against the sunset, but I peered over her shoulders and watched exactly how she takes a nude picture and transforms it into art. Pretty fuckin’ magnificent if you ask me. I’m havin’ a bit of a hard time with how much I’m growin’ to like her. Call me crazy, but I figured this would be harder. I thought . . . hell, I thought it was the only option.
Sydney’s out with Octavia takin’ her on a grand tour of the property. She’s showin’ her how to drive an ATV. Shit, Octavia about shit herself when she realized Sydney can operate a fully functional vehicle. She’s twelve though, wears a helmet and knows what not to do. My family taught that girl well.
Since the girls were gonna be out for a while, I texted all the brothers and told them to meet me here at the house. We’re gonna have church up here in the livin’ room. It’s long overdue, as are a few things. Grim and Blackjack are the first two to arrive. Zorro and Axel both come in around the same time, givin’ each other nasty glances. Those two need to put their issues aside, especially right now. If you ask me, they’re still bitter about Shiloh steppin’ away from the arrangement they had. Hammer slithers in right behind them. Bull comes in alongside Tex, Dracus and Bolt who’re my uncles, or at least, that’s the easiest way to explain it. My dad’s sister is in a relationship with each man in that weird square romance. Three men and one woman. Hey, I’m not judging. Roxy has a kid with each of them, so they’re one big, happy, interesting family.
Everyone’s here so I rise from my seat on the couch and shut the front door while everyone else gets settled. “We have a few things to discuss today, so I’d like to get a move on.” I explain, makin’ my way back over to my seat.
Blackjack sits beside me, while Bull is on the other side of him. Dracus, Tex and Bolt are across from us on the other couch and Hammer stands behind them. Zorro’s in one armchair, while Axel’s in another. Grim stands next to Hammer.
“Alright, let’s get started.” Blackjack confirms.
“There are a few things I’d like to discuss with you, while I’m just gonna tell you about others.” I speak up, makin’ sure I look into every brothers’ eyes. They need to know this shit is serious.
“Feels like we’re gonna have a vote,” Tex states, and I nod.
“A couple of ‘em. We’ll start out with the easier two. Y’all should know Cheyenne has been at the Vegas charter. She’s been helpin’ out Sakura with medical shit, and they opened that clinic not too far away from the club. I’d like to offer Cheyenne the same set up she has down there.”
“Why would we need to do that?” Bolt questions, furrowin’ his brows. Obviously, he’s not a fan.
“‘Cause, Blackjack can only do so much. He’s well trained since he was a medic in the Army, but I feel we need a backup. One who’s more knowledgeable. Hell, none of you can say we haven’t been lucky this far. We were able to dodge a few deaths and . . . maybe we could’ve made a difference in the lives we did lose if we had someone else who had more knowledge.”
Blackjack turns his neck to look at me. “I’m not takin’ any offense by this, and I think it’s a good idea to get another set of hands in here. But, Zane, there isn’t anything we could’ve done for your dad, Cracker, or Saffron. They were all too far gone.”
I don’t miss the way the rest of the brothers are shooting expressions my way. Some are pitiful, while others are somber. Dracus on the other hand appears to be a bit different than the rest. He looks guilty, which causes me to speak. “What’s goin’ through your mind, Dracus?”
He shrugs, “We’ve all made mistakes, kid. Every single one of us. Just wishin’ I could take back some shit. Like Blackjack said, there wasn’t anything we could’ve done for them . . . but if I had . . . If I hadn’t been a dick to your uncle Cracker, he would still be here to help guide you through this shit. I would’ve been the one blown up. I had a tiff with him and we butted heads about who was goin’ where.”
A sinking feelin’ hits me right in the gut. I rub my hand over my mouth as I process this. Is Dracus really tellin’ me if he hadn’t of given Cracker shit, he’d still be alive? Motherfucker. I don’t know how to feel right now.
One side of me is furious, but the other side of me is convinced it wouldn’t matter if he was alive ‘cause no excuse would’ve mattered. He chose to not be in mine and Kade’s life and that’s on him. The only thing I still struggle with is why I wasn’t told the truth. If I had been, maybe I could’ve gotten some closure. Dracus on the other hand has three little girls who look up to him, who need him here.
But . . . I’m confused as hell now. How did he get in a fight with Cracker when he wasn’t even there? Or was he, and we didn’t know?
“Let’s not dive into the what ifs. Instead, let’s get to business. Shall we?” He and I will have a discussion in private, ‘cause I’ll get to the bottom of this.
A round of ayes fill the room and I clear my throat, “All in favor of offering Cheyenne a position here at the club, offering her free housing, but helping her run a clinic either in town or on another property, say aye.”
Again, they agree. There isn’t one man in this room who objects to the idea.
“Perfect. One thing is settled. I’ve spoken to Damon about the possibility of Kristie patchin’ in as a prospect.” I state, but quickly get interrupted.
“Kristie? Whoa. You mean the FBI agent who’s friends with Reed’s ol’ lady from the Skulls Renegade MC?” Bull asks, showing how he’s already not a fan of the idea.
“Yes, that’s exactly who I’m speaking about.” I clearly state.
“But . . . she’s a chick.” He points out.
I shut my eyes for a second, taken aback by his words. “No shit. Yeah, she’s a chick. One who’s shown interest in the MC life. She doesn’t wanna start up with the Skulls ‘cause of Elena and Reed’s position in the club . . . so I’ve given it some thought and I wanna have her prospect for us. I had spoken to Damon about potentially sending her down to Vegas but they have enough shit goin’ on. The floor is open, so please, be honest and tell me what y’all think about it.”
&nb
sp; “We ain’t ever had a female member before,” Zorro comments lowly.
“Dunno how I feel about it,” Axel ends up agreeing with Zorro.
“Shit, it would be different. That’s for sure.” Bull mutters, lookin’ around to the rest of the brothers.
Though, Blackjack is the one who surprises me. “I say we go for it. Other clubs have female members and they’re doin’ just fine. Look at the Iron Vex MC up in Queens, New York. Boss is a woman, and she’s a Prez. Not only that, she has women who prospect and women who are fully patched members. She’s not the only woman I know of in the life either. Gamble down in Baltimore, or . . . I don’t know if she’s in Baltimore anymore. Her kid got hurt and some shit happened. But she was named Prez of the Baltimore charter of the Royal Bastards.”
I need to put pause on this discussion for a second. “What do you mean?” Gamble’s an ally to the club, but not because of those Royal Bastards. Because of her father, who was a great friend to my father. Shit. Rancid, the old National Charter Prez of the Royal Bastards slaughtered her entire family in front of her, then took her as his own personal fuck toy. If you ask me, he only made her a charter Prez to fuck with her, to make her somethin’ to be laughed at. But Gamble, shit . . . she’s too strong for that. Anythin’ she puts her mind to, she can do.
My dad told me years ago the deal was almost made with the Knights of Retribution MC, not the Raiders. But Gamble’s dad didn’t wanna take the choice away from her. It was noble of him.
“About what, her kid?” Blackjack inquires.
“Yeah, what happened to Ace?” Ace is her daughter, who’s about a year old now if I’m addin’ shit up correctly. Shit . . . maybe she’s two? Fuck.
“She got hurt. An enemy of the club. I haven’t spoken to Gamble in a minute, though. But, she did tell me she was gonna call soon. I have a feelin’ . . . somethin’ is goin’ down.”
“What is that supposed to mean? Shit, Blackjack.” I grumble, frustrated as hell.
Blackjack sucks in a breath, “Now none of you say shit to anyone . . . but she might’ve told me she’s plannin’ on leavin’ the Royal Bastards. Ace almost died, brothers. A baby, who’s barely holdin’ on as we sit here and discuss this. Gamble knows this was a dig at the Royal Bastards and not her. So, she asked if we would offer her support if she decides to find another club, or start her old man’s club up again. I told her we’d support her no matter what, that none of the shit mattered to us.”
“Her father was one of the good ones,” Tex speaks up, giving his support.
“Damn straight,” Bolt confirms.
“If it comes down to it, the Reapers have her back. Whether she wants to come here or not. That being said, we don’t put family down. Gamble’s family had been an ally since 1979 when their club was founded. While the Knights of Retribution died, it didn’t mean our alliance with her did. Kristie is a friend of the Skulls, someone we can trust. Reed and Elena would offer her a spot with the Skulls, but Kristie doesn’t want that. So, given the current world we live in, I think we should embrace the changes that’re coming and start allowing female members. All in favor of allowing Kristie to prospect here, say aye.”
Immediately Blackjack replies, “Aye.”
Hammer nods, “Aye, if my vote counts.”
I smirk, ‘cause he damn well knows it doesn’t, but I appreciate his support.
“Aye, bring Kristie in.” Dracus states.
Bolt and Tex both agree, while Axel and Zorro seem to have some reservations. This is something we’ve never done before, so I understand their hesitance behind the issue. “Brothers, our club is going to change. We can’t help that, but we can control it if we’re the one making changes now versus getting this shit hounded on us by the women later, feelin’ forced to make it to keep peace.”
Axel huffs, “Prez, just do what you’re gonna do . . . ‘cause I don’t see this as somethin’ I’ll ever want.”
“Zorro?” I inquire.
“If it’s what’s best for the club, then we should do it.” He keeps his response plain and simple, which I appreciate.
“Perfect. I’ll get in touch with her and formally invite her to become a prospect up here. Now, for the last order of business, which I believe is long overdue. We need to vote on our permanent Vice Prez. Blackjack’s been holdin’ down the fort for a long ass time, and as Prez, I’m going to recommend he stay in the position. All in favor, say aye.”
Brother after brother confirms Blackjack is just as I thought— the right choice as VP. Things will never be the same here, but they don’t have to be. We’re ready to face our new normal, and I have a feeling we’ll come out strong like we always do with whatever punches have been thrown our way.
We’re all going to be okay.
Chapter Twenty-One
“Be strong enough to let go, and wise enough to wait for what you deserve.”
~ Unknown
Octavia
His hands close in around my neck while his body hovers over me, plunging his cock deep inside. His body is a mere figment of darkness, a silhouette if you will. He doesn’t make a sound, and the only sounds coming from around us is our bodies reactions to the other.
He pulls his hands from my throat and shields his face against my chest. His arms go underneath my legs and hoist me up, ramming his member into me harder and harder. Boiling heat fills me at my core. I bite my lip, barely holding on, knowing at any given moment I’m going to implode. God, he knows just how to fuck me.
I glide my arm around his back, trying to force his head up to mine. I want to kiss him so much, so badly. I want his lips crashing down on mine, sucking me in like I’m oxygen.
He lifts his hips up and delves deep inside, faster, harder and before I can try to pull away to make this feeling last for just a bit longer I can’t. I’m cumming around his dick. Even though I’m cumming, he doesn’t stop. But that’s okay. Zane always does this. He takes what’s his and enjoys every moment of it, keeping me on the edge from falling over and over again.
Finally, he lifts his head and I kiss him. His lips and mine collide in the most sinful of ways. It may seem insane, but my favorite part about Zane is the way he kisses me. He shows me with his passion how important I am to him, how he craves me like nothing else. It’s part of the reason I’m falling in love with him. Slowly, but surely.
He pulls his head back and light illuminates his face. That’s when I realize this isn’t Zane. “Does he fuck you like I do, O’?” Inc asks, chuckling devilishly.
My chest begins to burn, almost like it’s on fire and I just can’t put it out. I thrash and move in every direction. Tears spill down my cheeks at the betrayal, the heartache and everything else I feel when it comes to Inc, but most of all, I cry because I still love him. I still love him and yet I don’t know why I do. This is the man who stood by and let me be ripped from his life. The man who I thought would fight for me no matter the cost.
The pain is just . . . too much.
“Cinnamon, Cin!” Zane says my name rather strongly, causing me to feel like he’s worried. His voice causes me to wake up. I blink my eyes over and over again, looking around me and realize we’re in our bed.
Everything’s okay. I’m in my house. I’m where I’m supposed to be.
“I’m sorry,” I stammer out automatically, feeling my heart pump over and over in my chest.
“Octavia . . . what the hell is going on? You . . .” Zane starts off, but stops, and then starts again.
A shiver takes hold of me and I begin to shake. Zane takes notice and pulls me into his chest, rubbing my back soothingly. “I’m so sorry. I keep dreaming about him and I don’t mean to. He . . . no, you . . . I don’t know.”
“What the hell happened?” Zane asks, sounding defeated.
“I was having a dream about us having sex. You and me, but then you . . . you turned into him. He asked me if you fuck like him. It was . . . I . . . I don’t know why this keeps happening, Zane. I keep having dreams about
him and I don’t understand it.”
Zane sighs against me, placing his chin on top of my head. “You didn’t get any closure with him, Cinnamon. This is probably your conscious telling you that you haven’t said everything you need to him.”
I don’t know what comes over me, but I spit it out quicker than I realize. “I think I’m having these dreams because I’m starting to fall for you, Zane. I’m so confused on why this is happening, why I’m being torn in two directions.” I mumble against his chest, feeling the tears from my dream pouring out into my reality.
As he does every time my emotions best me, he wipes my tears away. “Hey now, no need for that. You’re okay. I’m okay. We’re okay.” Zane presses his lips to my temple and inhales. “Octavia Spencer. I’m startin’ to feel the same. You’ve nestled your way deep in my heart. You know that?”
Fuck. I don’t want to hurt Zane. I like him so much, every single thing about him . . . but I’m so fucking confused. Inc still plagues my mind, and I just . . . I wonder if he’s right. If I didn’t get my closure. Do I need it? Will speaking to Inc make all this stop? I don’t want to keep feeling like my heart’s at a crossroads. Stuck in the middle between the man I still love to this day, and the one who’s pulling my heart toward him.
I peer up to him and try to look into those kind eyes of his, but it’s the middle of the night and pitch black. “I think you’re right about me needing to speak to him. Maybe if I talk it out and we say our goodbyes on my terms . . . I might feel different.”
“You mean you’ll stop torturing yourself subconsciously?” Zane chuckles lowly, toying with me just a tad.
“Maybe,” I murmur, not knowing if it’ll help or make things worse. Though, I am hoping it’ll only make things better.
“Octavia, I want to suggest something to you.” Zane starts off, sounding a bit more serious.
“What’s that?” I inquire.
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