“Have you given any thought about asking him if he wants to be our third?” I stare blankly at him, not giving it any thought until now.
“I don’t know if this is a test or if you’re being serious.” I confess.
He pulls me closer, placing his chin on top of my head once again. “Cinnamon, I just want you to be happy. At the end of the day I know we can be happy together, but I’m not dumb. Your heart is still gonna long for him because he means so much to you, even though he did treat you like shit . . . and I respect that. I . . . I cherish you enough to suggest you speak to him about it.”
“I don’t think he’s bisexual, Zane.” I inform him, knowing our arrangement wouldn’t work at all.
He scoffs, “You know I don’t need him to be. Your happiness matters more to me, but if he loves you and wants you, he would consider it. I can always get dick somewhere else. But, I’d prefer not to. You and I have discussed this babe. We want this to be a group experience, not just one or the other.”
“You’re right. If we have another man in our relationship . . . I think it could only work if they’re sexually attracted to both of us.” I state as I did before when we spoke about it the first time. “Zane, I don’t want to be with Inc on the side. And I don’t want you to be with another man on the side. I just want us to have one person who loves the both of us the same way we l—” I stop immediately, almost letting it slip how I really feel about him.
“I understand. Though, I still say you need to talk to him, and maybe you need to pop the idea in his head. He probably thought there was no way he could ever have you in his life. Now there is, with the small agreement of me.” Zane chuckles at the end.
“Nothing about you is small,” I chirp.
“Keep talkin’ like that and I’ll have to remind you how much I fill that cunt of yours,” He warns, but I’ll take it. Anytime he fucks me, I don’t think about anything else. The only thing I’m focused on is the way he makes my body feel.
Taking his face in my hands, “Zane, please.”
The next thing I know, we’re rolling between the sheets, filling both the voids in our hearts.
Chapter Twenty-Two
“Listen to your own voice, your own soul, too many people, listen to the noise of the world, instead of themselves.”
~ Leon Brown
Octavia
After our discussion two weeks ago, Zane booked a flight for this afternoon for us to go back out to LA. He didn’t want to leave before then because the foreman for the construction work turned out to be a huge tool, and no, I’m not talking about the ones the guy used. He kept making excuse after excuse until Zane lost his shit and fired him. Now we have a new contracting company working on the advancements up at the club.
Nothing else has been going on, except the fact I signed the agreement for King Rhodes to formally become an investor in Victorious Vixens. We have a launch planned for later this year, but he primarily resides in LA. The plan is for us to meet him while we’re down here for the weekend. He has a concept he wants to run by me. Something about a new club for the Vixens that he’s opening up in Baltimore, which is where he’s from.
Zane got us a nice hotel downtown, right by the clubhouse. It’s not only convenient, but has the most beautiful views of LA. Though, I’m a bit worried about being back here. The last time I was downtown someone was trying to kill me. I think the only reason things have been safe for me up in Montana is because the club is back in the middle of nowhere. Sure, we’re a short ride from Billings but we aren’t smack dab in the center of everything.
It’ll be nice to see Chains though, so I can’t even hold back my excitement when it comes to that. Zane’s caught me smiling a few times, and he thought I was smiling because I’ll be seeing Inc again. But he was wrong. The thought of seeing Inc makes my stomach turn like I’m on the world’s fastest roller coaster and just ate Thanksgiving dinner.
“Gotta admit. I’m not thrilled about seein’ your brother and dad again.” Zane mutters, holding my hand as we sit in the back of our Uber.
Zane also wants to take this opportunity to discuss a few political things with the alliance. First and foremost, if we figured out who was behind the attacks. Zane won’t ever let anything happen to me so neither of us are worried. However, we both want justice for my sisters.
“Can’t blame you for that. He was a dick.” I shrug, hating how I left. Dad and I never had the best relationship, but we didn’t have a bad one. I feel like the way he acted last time was a really bad representation of who he is as not only a person, but a man and a father.
Zane turns and looks straight at me. “He not normally like that?”
“No, not really. I mean. He’s not a great guy or anything, but he’s usually half-way decent. Lately he’s been running around, going out to drink a lot.”
“Sounds like someone I know,” Zane jokes. We both established I was using alcohol to cope with everything I went through. After Zane got me my new phone, he got me in touch with a virtual therapist who I could talk to about the losses I’ve gone through.
It was one of the ways he continued to show me he wasn’t faking how he feels. He genuinely cares about my well-being and that only makes me appreciate him more. We’ve really grown a lot since we’ve met. Honestly, I think we started developing a friendship before we even fucked, which I’m sure only helped.
“Yeah, yeah. I know.” I roll my eyes and laugh.
“Hopefully shit will go smoothly for both of us.” Zane says, making the air thicken in the back of this car. While he’s speaking to my brother and father, if my father even bothers to show up. I’ll be talking to Inc, seeing what he thinks about . . . a few things.
I’m not going to come straight off the bat and ask him about it though. I’ll just ask that he meet us at our hotel room tonight and we’ll see how things go. We’ll have a couple drinks, smoke a couple blunts and hopefully things will naturally fall into place.
“We’re coming up to it now,” I murmur, just as our Uber driver pulls up to the sidewalk. Zane opens his door and exits, holding a hand out to me and I follow him. In a mere moment we’re walking through the front doors of The Clubhouse.
When we’re on the other side, the bartender immediately looks our direction and smiles brightly. It’s Fury. What a relief. “I wasn’t expectin’ you back here so soon, O’.”
“What. You aren’t glad to see me?” I joke.
“I never said such a thing. Chains is in the back.” He motions with his head, pointing to the part of the bar that turns into the actual clubhouse. I walk alongside Zane until we’re back to the doorway leading into the club and open it. I walk through first and he follows suit, shutting the door behind him.
“I must be seein’ shit.” Chains says, staring blankly at me.
Instead of saying anything, I run straight up to him and wrap my arms around the man. “I missed you,” I say into the nape of his neck. He holds me close, breathing heavily against me.
“I missed you too. Why the hell are you here?” He asks, pulling away, looking me up and down. “Everythin’ alright between you and Z—”
“Everything is perfect between us.” Zane speaks up, lookin’ right to Chains. His chest is puffed out a bit, showing my dear friend that my fiancé is dominant in every fashion.
Chains doesn’t take Zane’s word for it and meets his eyes with my own. “Everythin’ okay?”
I nod, “Yeah, it’s really good actually. I thought I’d end up hating him, but we related in a lot of ways. He was in the same position as I was you know. Our roles were just reversed a bit.”
Chains nods his head a couple of times, “I was hopin’ everythin’ would be fine between the two of you. I’m glad things are workin’ out. So, since everythin’ is fuckin’ peachy up there, mind tellin’ me why you’re here?”
“I need to speak to Breaker about a few things. But I’m more interested to know what developments have been made in the murders.” Zane states clear
ly. My, my. He has no problem showing everyone his presence here means business.
“Sure. I can tell you that. We haven’t made any developments. I guess we’ve figured out whoever’s behind the murders is here though. Considerin’ you brought O’ back here in perfect condition. Must mean no one followed you up to Montana.”
“Nope,” I confirm.
“I want to speak to Breaker directly and see if we can put a solid plan together. The women deserve justice, and I think it’s about time we started gettin’ on it.” Zane says. I can tell his words don’t piss Chains off, but they make Chains earn his respect.
“Perfect,” Chains looks back to me. “You need anythin’ before I take your man up to see your brother?”
I shake my head, “Yeah. Could you grab Inc and tell him to meet me in his room.”
“Sure,” Chains says.
I walk over to Zane and give him a chaste kiss on the lips. “I’ll see you when you’re done.”
“Alright. Let me know how it goes.” Zane says, rubbing my back in support.
I turn right and walk up the stairwell that leads to the living quarters, immediately go left and walk to just above the front of the bar. Inc has the room on the right, so I put my hand on the knob and turn it, going into his empty bedroom.
It feels surreal being here, or back here I should say, but I’m ready to have this talk with him. Actually, I’m more than ready.
Chapter Twenty-Three
You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do
~ Unknown
Zane
Chains leads me through another door, going further back into the building. The room has a set up like the last one did, but it’s the complete opposite. Instead of the stairwell bein’ on the right, it’s on the left. He goes up and I follow him. We make another left, neither of us sayin’ a thing until I see Breaker.
He furrows his brows together, not expectin’ me. Though, he wouldn’t. I’ve made a surprise visit. “Zane, what’re you doin’ here?” He questions, searching my face for answers.
“Thank you for escorting me here, Chains. Your Prez and I need to have a private discussion.” I speak, only lookin’ at Breaker. Octavia doesn’t know how serious this is. Over the last few weeks she and I have grown very close, which only causes me to be angrier about what transpired the day we flew out to Las Vegas.
It’s in the past, but damn I have a hard time lettin’ that sit back there. “Prez?” Chains searches for confirmation from his boss, who gives him a nod. After a moment Chains walks back down toward the stairwell, leavin’ Breaker and I alone.
“To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?” He smirks, essentially tellin’ me to fuck off.
Taking a few steps toward him, I decide to be blunt as hell. There’s no point in beatin’ around the bush, ‘cause that won’t get us anywhere. “I came here for a personal update on the progress you’ve made with your sisters’ killer, or killers. Chains mentioned you don’t have any leads, but I’d prefer to believe that isn’t accurate.”
Breaker stares at me blankly, blinkin’ a few times. “He’s not wrong. We haven’t found jack shit. O’ leaves and everythin’ stops. I expected whoever it was to start comin’ after me or Troy, but that hasn’t happened . . . which guarantees they’re only goin’ after women in the club.”
I lean against the wall as we speak freely but keep an eye out to ensure no one is listenin’. “Not just women. Your sisters. If it was the women of the club your whores would be dead too, and I saw plenty of them down in the bar snugglin’ up to your customers.” I declare.
Breaker nods, “Why don’t you come into my office. We’ll have some privacy.”
“Perfect,” I reply, following him to the back of the building. His office is the last door to the right.
He opens the door for me and I go in behind him, shutting it behind me. Breaker walks over to the corner of the room and picks up a blunt from the shelf, lighting it and taking a hit.
“You don’t have shit, do you?” I’m unable to keep my disappointment from being obvious. We’ve been gone weeks and he doesn’t have one lead. Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. The reason they needed an alliance is startin’ to make a lot more sense to me.
Breaker scowls at me, but I’m not scared. He could be terrifyin’ to someone who was a foot shorter than me, or if he was more bulked up. He’s not like average bikers, though. He’s maybe five-foot-nine, has a thin physique like those skater boys did back in the day. If I didn’t know who he was, I’d have a hard time believing a man I could snap like a twig was Prez of the Raiders.
“Who the fuck do you think you are coming into my club and speaking to me like this,” Breaker clenches his fists at his sides. “We’ve been dealing with this for years. You haven’t been here, haven’t had to bury your sisters’ bodies long before their time.” He hisses, showin’ me just how much this affects him. Seems to me like he’s puttin’ on a damn good show.
“You huff and puff how you’re angry, about how dare I get shitty with you and ask the questions no one else will. I’m marryin’ Octavia damn soon, and over my dead body will anyone try to hurt her. We don’t just owe it to your family to find your sisters’ killer or killers, but fuck, man . . . we need to put an end to this madness.” I declare, frustrated beyond measure.
“We’re working on things,” Breaker says, actin’ like that’ll shut my trap. It won’t.
“That’s not good enough. We’re here for a few days on business and I wanna make sure she’ll be safe while we’re here. I thought you might be able to guarantee that, but obviously you won’t. So, tell me what you have ‘cause I’ll do it my damn self.”
Breaker stares at me, inhaling so strongly his nostrils flare. “I don’t have much,” He grits with a glare. “But, we caught one of the men who killed Xia and Yara.”
That’s somethin’. How does he think this isn’t much? It’s an actual fuckin’ lead. “What’s the problem? You should have somethin’ by now.”
“This man isn’t talking, at all. He hasn’t made a sound. Not a scream, a plea, or a word. We’re at a dead end.” Breaker comments. I notice how his expression shifts slightly. He’s frustrated with his lack of progress as well. Lucky for him I’m here.
“No, you’re not. Where is this guy? I’ll get what I can out of him.”
“What do you expect to get out of him exactly?” Breaker asks.
“Whatever I damn well need to. Breaker, lemme make this shit real clear for you. I’ll do whatever I can, and I mean whatever is within my capabilities, to keep your sister safe. I’ll snap every man’s neck who comes across her if I have to. That bein’ said, I have no problem pullin’ out my darker side to make this weasel talk. ‘Cause that’s what’ll happen. He’ll fuckin’ talk for me.”
Breaker shakes his head, “I don’t know why you think you’ll get a different result.”
“Because I won’t hold back. I’m sure you’ve told your guys not to kill him. Yeah?”
“Of course.” Breaker replies.
“Yeah, well I won’t kill him, but I’ll damn well put him within an inch of his life. How else will you make the man talk? Only a man who fears death will give us the answers we need.”
“How do you know he fears death?” Breaker questions, not realizing just how easy his question is to answer.
“Don’t let anyone fool you. We’re all afraid of death, even those of us who say we aren’t. We’re lyin’. Now, tell me where you’re holdin’ him.”
“We have a cabin out in Angeles National Forest. It’s tucked back in the woods. Nearest neighbors are at least ten miles out. I’ll have Chains grab the truck and take you up there.”
“Great. Do me a favor and make sure your sister stays here until I get back. I don’t want her goin’ back to the hotel without me given the circumstances.”
“Will do. I’ll keep Fury with her.” Breaker replies.
I turn back and start for the door when Breaker clears his throat. I’
m not sure why, but I turn back to look at the man. “I sure hope you’re right about this.”
Laughing, I reply. “Breaker, I know I’m right. Let me do what I’m the best at.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
“If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if he really loved you, he wouldn’t have let you fall for the second.”
~ Johnny Depp
Octavia
Feelings of anxiety and hope rush through me as I stand here, looking at the painted over brick on the back wall. Black and white portraits still hang above his bed, some of them subjects I photographed over the years and others being self-portraits of me in lingerie, or Inc and I goofing off. The perfect balance of seriousness and lightheartedness.
Inc still has that ugly cart next to his bed he uses as a nightstand. It reminds me of one of those roll away islands you can buy at IKEA, but this one is all matte black with a metal finish. There’s still the woven basket I made on the bottom of the cart. I made it with Xia a couple years ago when we went to a class downtown.
Sheer gray curtains hang from the two windows in his room. Everything appears to be the same. All except his sheets. They’re now a different shade of gray with a deep-sea blue duvet. He’s added some sort of cork style stool at the end of his bed too.
Is it weird the only things he’s added are meaningless? Should I keep holding onto hope seeing photos of us are still hanging in his room? I’ve been here for at least an hour, waiting for him to come here. He could be avoiding me and I wouldn’t blame him, but I won’t leave until we talk. It’s long overdue.
After a time of pacing back and forth through his bedroom, I sit on his bed and lean back. He has a reprinted version of Van Gogh’s café piece. Most people would put this on their wall, but Inc has never been a typical person. He secured it to his ceiling so as he lays on his bed, it’s the first thing he sees in the morning, and the last before he falls asleep. We had a deep discussion about the serenity art can bring.
Mayhem: A Reapers MC Boxset Page 26