by Rona Jameson
Fallon wasn’t only my sister, she was my best friend and the person I relied on the most, and I knew she relied on me just as much. She made me smile. She made me so damn mad I could spit fire. But heck if I knew how to separate those two emotions.
One day that was going to happen, maybe when I went off to college. Fallon was still going to be in high school for another year. Who would she have when I left? I knew she talked to Julia. Julia was her only female friend, although I was sure Julia only initially became friends with Fallon because of my friends and me. Julia pretended to be into me to get at Leon. It was so obvious it was embarrassing.
Fallon cleared her throat and smirked. “You went off into Rogan’s world.” Shaking her head, she stepped away. “I’m going to take a shower.” She raised a brow when I didn’t move, and then a teasing light entered her sparkling emerald green eyes.
She dropped the robe, and gave me her back. Reaching behind, Fallon unclipped her bra, letting it drop to the floor to my stunned disbelief.
It took a moment to get my brain working and realize I gawked at my sister, who grinned at me over her shoulder. I narrowed my eyes, and cursed under my breath when I felt a reaction below the waist.
I panicked and got the hell out of her bedroom.
The little tease!
Fallon had known I would run the moment she’d started stripping, but heck, she really had to stop doing that in front of me now that we were older. Plus I had to admit I was a regular horny seventeen-year-old boy.
No way in hell should I react to my sister like I had.
My sister!
I’m going to hell.
My thoughts had certainly not been brotherly when she stood before me, all that sun-kissed skin on display for my eyes, and I had looked—more than I ever should have.
Fallon
My heart pounded against my breastbone as I closed the bathroom door. What was I thinking? I couldn’t forget the look on Rogan’s face when I took my bra off. He’d looked at me in a way that wasn’t allowed—in a way that made my body tingle and caused blood to rush around and into places I had no idea could feel hot and swollen.
I stepped into the shower and let the warm spray pound down against me. I hoped the images on replay in my mind would disappear and I could go back to Rogan being just Rogan, my brother. My thoughts about him weren’t sisterly, and hadn’t been for a while.
The palm of my hands rested against the shower wall while the water continued to pound down, plastering my hair from the top of my head, and down my back.
Maybe there was something wrong with me—there had to be. Nothing made sense when I imagined myself with anyone else. The only time anything made sense was when I was with Rogan. We’d always been together and now that we were getting older, I was scared things would change beyond my control. Things had already started to change—the way Leon hadn’t wanted me around, the way Rogan looked at me, the way I reacted when his gaze was on me.
I understood why Leon had reacted the way he had. It didn’t mean it hurt any less.
With a flick of my wrist, I turned the water off and, wrapping a bath sheet around my shivering body, stepped out of the shower. In my bedroom, I quickly dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, my feet bare, then spread out on top of my bed with an old photo album I kept in my nightstand. It was filled with pictures of Rogan and me, taken over the years. I often got it out to look through, especially when I felt down or lost. Or when I needed a reminder of the history we shared and the reason why I should never think of Rogan in any way but sisterly.
One picture stood out in the book. It was taken three years ago at the beach. We had our arms around each other and Dad had made some funny comment that made us laugh. Rogan’s smile lit up the picture, his eyes sparkling with amusement, his dark hair falling into his left eye, and his smile so wide that I traced his full lips with a finger.
A throat cleared. “I love that picture.” Rogan took a hesitant step forward, and then with more confidence, crawled onto the bed. He settled alongside me, his eyes focused on the book in front of me.
I swallowed around the lump in my throat, unable to bring myself to meet his eyes. “It was a good vacation.” I played with the corner of the book, and closing my eyes, I whispered, “I’m sorry about before. I never should have done that.” My cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
“No, you shouldn’t have,” Rogan said in a voice so quiet I couldn’t decide whether he was angry with me or not. “I think it might be for the best if we forget about it.”
I quickly blinked back the unexpected tears to get rid of them, and nodded. “I need to pack.”
I knew Rogan watched me from beneath his lowered lids as I moved from the bed and over to the closet. We should talk more about what happened. I didn’t like Rogan’s suggestion of forgetting about it. But if we talked, I would end up in tears and that wouldn’t do.
“I won’t mention it again.” I swallowed hard and hoped Rogan accepted my word.
“I guess I better go pack too.” I heard, rather than saw, Rogan crawl off my bed and cross the room. As he jostled the doorknob, he said, “Just remember we’re camping, not staying at a five-star hotel.”
I gasped and quickly turned. Rogan ducked out of the way just as I sent a book sailing across the room. He laughed and so did I, and I felt like a weight had lifted from my chest.
“I happen to love camping,” I shouted as Rogan smirked and closed the door.
2
Fallon
I hated camping.
My parents had a thing about the great outdoors, and when I was younger I thought it was cool—now, not so much. The slightest sounds spooked me, which was why I stood outside of my tent wondering how much of a baby I’d be if I suggested sharing.
While I debated actually asking, giggles from my parents’ tent traveled toward me. I glanced over and sighed at them still acting like newlyweds, which was great, but I really wanted to share a tent with Mom.
A loud sigh came from behind me, so I turned and grinned at Rogan. He was relaxing in a camping chair watching the show. I grabbed my chair and dropped it beside his, and got comfortable.
“Are you really going to ask to share with Mom?” Rogan asked.
I quickly faced him, my brows raised.
Rogan laughed. “It was written all over your face when you stared at your tent then theirs.”
I groaned, but then a wonderful idea popped into my head, even though I knew it really wasn’t wise.
“I’ll share with you.”
He rapidly blinked in surprise and sat forward. “Heck no.”
“Seriously, Rogan. Mom and Dad want to be alone in their tent. I’ll be awake all night waiting for a bear to eat me. We could put all our clothes and stuff in my tent and sleep in yours.” I smiled. “Problem solved.”
“Fallon,” Rogan hissed in frustration. “We’re not little kids anymore. You can’t share with me.”
“I promise not to flash you like I did yesterday.”
“It’s not that dammit.”
“What are you two arguing about?” Mom asked as she poked her head out the tent.
Rogan groaned and I grinned, turning to Mom. “I’m not sleeping in there alone. So either you sleep with me, or you make Rogan let me share his tent.”
Mom frowned, so I quickly continued, “You know I get spooked. We’ll have our own sleeping bags, and there is room if we put all our clothes and things in my tent.”
“Um, well, I guess it will be okay.” Mom smiled. “I’ll tell your Dad.” She pulled her head inside the tent while I turned a smug look on Rogan.
“I can’t believe you did that.”
“She wants to share with Dad, so it’s obvious she’d agree.” I headed toward my tent. “I’m going to get changed for bed, and I’ll bring my sleeping bag over.”
I didn’t hear exactly what Rogan mumbled but figured it was about me. I did catch his muttering about being seventeen and not even allowed his own space.
/> He’d get over it.
Nights in the forest could get cold, but if I remembered correctly from last year, I’d gotten really hot during the night. With that in mind, I quickly changed into shorts and a T-shirt, and left my sweatshirt in my backpack. I grabbed my sleeping bag up and hauled it to Rogan’s tent. It bothered me that he really hadn’t wanted to share with me. We’d always shared everything and it hurt when he rejected me. My little performance from the evening before popped into my head, but I dismissed it quickly as I opened the zipper on Rogan’s tent.
I tossed my sleeping bag inside, and followed, crawling over it once Rogan spread it out on the double airbed he always used. His white T-shirt stretched over his shoulders and chest, showing some muscle definition, which surprised me.
“You’ve been working out, huh?”
He glanced down at himself and then slowly nodded. “Yeah, some.”
After a pause, Rogan patted the sleeping bag and I slipped inside. We stayed silent, staring at each other until it became dark, and our eyes took a few minutes adjusting to the darkness.
“Rogan,” I whispered, “why didn’t you want me sharing?” Even I heard the hurt in my voice as I asked.
“We’re getting too old to share, Fallon. You gotta know that.”
“I don’t like getting older if it means I’m going to lose you.”
“You won’t ever lose me.”
“Then please don’t hurt me by saying no.” I winced when I realized how my words sounded. “I don’t mean you should always say yes, or that I’m spoiled, because I’m not. I just hate how it feels when I’m not sure you want me anymore.”
Silence followed and just when I thought Rogan fell asleep, he admitted, “I’ll always want you, Fallon, but sharing a tent is a lot different than sharing an ice pop or a movie.” He groaned. “Or even how we shared as kids.”
I opened my mouth to reply and then thought about what he hadn’t said. “Does this have anything to do with last night? Did I do this to us?” Tears hovered on my lashes but I didn’t let them fall. “I didn’t mean anything by it. I just wanted to…sass you, I guess.”
“Last night, I saw you in a way I should never see you. Do you understand me? My body reacts in a way it shouldn’t when I’m with you.” Rogan hissed and then cursed. “Get some sleep.”
He rolled to his back while my eyes searched him out in the darkness. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I did what I did to make you feel awkward. I promise not to do anything like that again. Please forget you saw me in that way and I’ll try to forget how you reacted, okay?”
“What do you mean, you’ll try?” Rogan struggled to keep the shock out of his voice. “You have to forget how I reacted. Dammit, Fallon.”
Sighing, I rolled the opposite direction and faced the tent, hoping Rogan ignored the conversation and went to sleep.
No such luck.
“Fallon? I know you’re awake.”
“Go to sleep, Rogan.”
He huffed out an angry breath and mumbled something I didn’t catch, and then he said, “Last night never happened. You’re my sister. You’re mine to protect. Let’s sleep.”
Even though I felt close to tears, I smiled to myself because Rogan hadn’t sounded convinced. He wouldn’t forget, just like I wouldn’t. We should, though. I knew that.
“Rogan?” I rolled back to face him and searched for his eyes in the dark. When I found them, I asked, “Will it be as exciting when I’m in my underwear for a boy who isn’t you?”
Rogan blinked a few times before he wrapped his arms around me and tugged me—sleeping bag and all—into his arms. “I want to say I hope not,” he admitted, his arms tightening around me, “but the right thing to say is yes. Yes, you will feel excitement when you’re standing in front of a boy in your underwear.” His voice quivered and because of how close I was to him, I felt the heavy rise and fall of his chest.
“I think I only will for you,” I whispered back, wanting to have the last word because I knew it hurt him to say what he had.
I settled with my head on his shoulder, the heaviness in my heart only lifted slightly. I wanted to feel secure in his arms, against his chest. To know that what I did, and how I made him feel, could be overcome, and that we were still the best of best friends. My mind was full, wondering where the path we were on would lead, because I knew in my heart I felt so much more than sibling love for him, just like I knew he did me.
A large warm hand moved from around my waist and cupped my chin. Rogan lifted my gaze to his. “We have to promise to never speak about this night to anyone.” His eyes bore into mine. “I mean no one, Fallon. Not even each other. We never mention it again.” He dropped his forehead to mine. “We’ve spoken about things we never should have even thought about.” His hand on my jaw trembled as his eyes deeply searched mine.
I didn’t want to give him the answer I was about to, but I didn’t have a choice, the decision had really been made the night our parents had met and fell in love.
“I promise, Rogan.”
Rogan
Eating breakfast in the forest with a fantastic view of the lake was what I had done every summer with my family since I was a kid. But this year, it felt different.
The gravelly patch of bare ground ringed by trees and bushes was familiar to me, just like the man-made fire pit was. Dad and I had made it over five years ago. We hadn’t had a chance to use it on this trip yet, but I was sure Mom would have the puffy white marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers at the ready for s’mores—a favorite of Fallon’s and mine.
Tree branches snapped behind me as Dad wandered around in the brush, and the creak of tall trees and leaves rustling in the wind made me smile. It was peaceful. The fresh smell of pine needles, along with the morning dew in the grass stirred excitement in my belly for the day ahead.
Across from me, Mom struggled with a heavy backpack so I quickly crossed and took it from her. I added my own bottle of water, knowing that I was going to be the one carrying the pack. Usually Dad carried it, but I noticed him pressing on his lower back this morning—probably a kink in it from sleeping on the airbed.
As for me, I had one of the best night’s sleeps I’ve had in forever, and I knew good and well it had everything to do with the girl who’d slept in my arms. Her soft breath had brushed against my neck and it eventually lulled me into a deep sleep. Luckily, I’d been able to hide my body’s morning reaction, which had been stronger than usual with Fallon sprawled out on top of me—her curves pressed against me.
“Everyone ready to go?” Dad hollered.
I jerked and dropped the pack, having been lost in thought.
“Yeah,” I hissed.
Ten minutes later, we were well along the trail and the bulky pack strapped to my back caused sweat to dampen my skin. My feet treaded across the uneven ground as we moved up a slight incline. Tree roots crisscrossed the trail with branches hanging out. Swatting away insects from in front of my face, I heard the waterfall, which flowed into a small creek up ahead.
As I listened to the birds chirping overhead in the tall trees, I realized Fallon had fallen behind. Softly smiling, I suggested to Dad, “I’ll walk with Fallon.”
“Good idea.” Dad patted me on the shoulder as he moved on. “I don’t want to be out on the trail in the dark.”
Me either!
Fallon was so lost in a world of her own that she hadn’t noticed me waiting for her. While I did, my eyes roamed over her long legs and the shape of her hips. My breathing quickened as I dared to move my gaze higher, where I appreciated the fitted, long-sleeved fitness top clinging to her every curve. I tried to move my gaze away. I truly did, but I found it impossible. The sight before me hardened my body.
She was beautiful and unaware.
My gaze was still on Fallon when she spotted me.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
Her question snapped me into the present. “Admiring the view,” I replied with the truth.
“Come on, we’ll be here all night if we don’t pick up the pace.”
Fallon grumbled, but moved forward. “I’m trying to forget about the footbridge up ahead.” She shrugged. “I’m actually hoping it’s gone so we have to turn back.”
I laughed. “You wish, but it’s still there.”
Her face fell. I took her hand and pulled her along behind me. “It’s best to get it over with.”
Dad smiled as we approached, before he turned to Mom and moved over the bridge with her in front of him. I moved in close behind Fallon. “We’ll go slow, and remember, don’t look down at the creek,” I advised softly, and then added, “Although the view is awesome.”
She made a weird sound as my hands gripped her hips. Her chest expanded with the deep inhale she took. “I can do this.” She let out a shaky laugh. “Just don’t let go, okay?”
She wasn’t looking at me, but my eyes were glued to the top of her head. I smiled, grateful I was over a foot taller than she was. I put my mouth to her ear. “I’ll never let you go, Fallon. You can trust me.”
She stilled and turned her face to search my gaze.
“Trust me,” I whispered.
“I do.” She nuzzled her face into my neck before inhaling, then she turned back around and slowly moved forward.
It took longer than usual but we crossed and I felt the tension drain from my body.
Mom unpacked sandwiches and juice. I grabbed two of each in one hand and Fallon’s hand in the other, and urged her up on the large boulder.
We settled side by side with our lunch on our laps and quietly ate while taking in the breathtaking view. Sunlight gleamed on the lake and the trees surrounding the area were so many different shades of green that I retrieved my phone and snapped a picture. It didn’t do it justice, though.
“The view from here is worth my fear.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I checked where Mom and Dad were, and then I took Fallon’s hand, holding it against the rock so no one could see. The way she intertwined her fingers with mine made my heart pound hard, and it took me a moment to find my voice.