by Rona Jameson
I held Corinne’s gaze and watched as the girl’s face reddened. I was pretty sure it was with anger and not embarrassment. But I wasn’t going to stand there and take whatever Corinne wanted to say about Rogan. He might be confused and maybe a bit annoyed with me, but he’d always be my brother.
The bell rang to announce start of class, so I allowed Julia to drag me away while an arrow pierced my heart.
We took our seats and Julia whispered, “I thought you were going to punch her.”
I raised a brow.
“Seriously. I never knew you had that in you,” Julia added.
“Me either.”
8
Fallon
The cold metal locker under my hand made me shiver, and the grumble from my stomach reminded me it was lunchtime. My fingers fiddled with the lock until I finally got the numbers aligned and it snapped open. I quickly shoved my backpack inside, once I’d retrieved my wallet.
Julia nudged into me as I locked my belongings away. “Why are you taking so long?” Julia grabbed my arm in excitement, the gum in her mouth loud as she chewed. “Leon has been giving me the eyes. We have to go and sit with them, but it will be less obvious if you’re there too.”
“We always eat lunch together.” I pushed away from the lockers and smirked when Julia caught up to me. “And everyone knows that, so it wouldn’t look obvious at all.”
Groaning, Julia admitted, “I’m nervous, okay? Leon is looking back at ME,” she hissed loudly in my ear while bruising my wrist in the tight grip she had on me.
Prying Julia’s fingers from my wrist, I rubbed at the bruise already forming there before I grabbed a tray. The cafeteria had been redone over the summer and was nice and modern with bright yellow walls. It was certainly better than the prison gray they had before. The menu was much improved with healthier options available, but I still leaned toward the pasta when it was available. I told myself it was healthy because it was served with salad.
Sliding into seats opposite Rogan, Chase, and Leon, I felt Julia’s leg start to shake. It soon stopped when I nudged into her under the table.
Noticing the fork being waved in front of my face, I lifted my eyes and saw Rogan grinning back. “One of these days, you’ll remember,” he said.
“Maybe.” I always remembered the food but rarely the utensils.
“So…” Leon grinned as though he knew something we didn’t. “Rogan has a date.”
The food in my stomach turned to sawdust as my eyes found Rogan’s. Behind the betrayal I felt, I noticed his embarrassment, and anger. “We’ll talk at home,” he hissed under his breath.
I wasn’t an idiot and knew our attraction to each other couldn’t go anywhere, but I couldn’t believe he’d date without even mentioning it to me. A warning would have been nice. I tried to continue with lunch, no longer paying attention to anyone or what I shoved into my mouth.
I sensed Rogan staring, but, in the end, I cleared my dishes and headed back to my locker.
All the way through history, I sat in a world of my own, my head conjuring up all kinds of scenarios for Rogan and his date. I hoped whoever she was got covered in poison ivy so she couldn’t make it. I suddenly pulled myself back. What was wrong with me? I’d never wished bad things to happen to anyone before.
You’re jealous that your brother is going out with someone other than you!
Swallowing hard around the tears in my throat, I tuned in briefly to Mr. Schwartz and his lecture on the American Civil War. Concentrating hard on what he was saying about the Confederates, my teacher lost me again to thoughts I shouldn’t be having.
Thoughts about teasing Rogan again, like I had once before. He’d had a reaction to me. In fact, he’d had more than one reaction to me on the summer camping trip.
“Fallon?” Julia called.
“Huh?” I glanced around and saw everyone grabbing their belongings and leaving. “Oh!”
Julia gave me an odd look but didn’t voice her opinion, although she wouldn’t stay silent for long.
“Miss Scott,” Mr. Schwartz called as I was on my way out of his class. “A word, please.” He added, “Alone,” when Julia stayed beside me.
Once the door closed behind Julia, Mr. Schwartz gave me his famous narrowed-eyed stare. “You are usually my brightest student. You always take part in my class. Today I’m not sure you actually heard a word I said. Why?” He steeped his fingers as his elbows rested on his desk.
“I, um…” I sighed heavily and admitted, “I’m upset about something at home. I’m sorry. I won’t daydream in class again.”
His beady eyes searched mine but I kept my thoughts to myself.
“Very well.”
I moved to leave.
“Miss Scott…Fallon, if you ever need to talk, I’m here for you, as I’m sure are other teachers.”
He became flushed, which made his offer all the sweeter. “I appreciate that.” I smiled. “Thank you.”
I quickly left, and the moment I did, Julia grabbed my arm and hurried me down the hallway and straight out of the building.
“What is going on with you? You’ve been acting weird since lunch,” I asked, not mentioning my own woolgathering. “I guess you’ve been preoccupied with Leon?”
“I can’t decide if he likes me or not. One minute he’s staring at me, or rather my chest, and the next he’s frowning as though he’s angry. I’m not sure what to do.”
“I’m not one for advice, but I’d say don’t do anything. Knowing Leon, he can’t decide why he can’t stop staring at you. He’ll get there in the end. Just might take a while.”
Stopping at Rogan’s car, sweat was pooling under my long thick hair, making me uncomfortable. The tie that was holding the mass of hair from my face and back had snapped in second period and I hadn’t been able to find a spare.
“The guys are coming.” Julia smiled. “I’m going to continue flirting with Rogan. Might get Leon to make a move.”
I refrained from telling Julia that nothing would get Leon to make his move until he was good and ready. Out of our three friends, Leon was the most stubborn.
The drive home was quiet and as we parked at the house, Leon was the last friend to part. He lived next door.
Rogan gave me a sidelong glance before heavily sighing. “I have no interest in dating, Fallon. I was put on the spot and didn’t want to embarrass her or me, so I agreed. We’ll just go the movies.”
“Who?”
“Corinne Roberts.”
My eyes widened. “You’re taking her on a date? Do you have a death wish?” I slammed out of the car. “Whatever you do is fine.” I snarled, jealousy eating away at me. “We need to carry on as normal.” I started heading around to the back of the house. “So if you’re dating, then there is no reason why I can’t.”
I heard a weird noise come out of Rogan before my backpack was on the ground and he had me pinned between his body and the house, his face furious.
His chest heaved as he tried to pull his anger back, but some seeped out when he growled, “You will not date anyone. I told you that you would always be mine.” He pressed against me, leaving nothing of his body to my imagination.
I held his gaze and my anger at his anger subsided when I realized he was slowly losing it. “I’m not going to date, Rogan. I have no interest in anyone else.” I swallowed back tears but they fell anyway. “It hurts so much knowing you are.”
Rogan cursed and crushed me in his arms. “I’m doing this because I have to.” He pulled back and stared into my eyes, and I could see that he wanted me to understand everything behind those words. Then, with a hard kiss to my forehead, Rogan quickly disappeared inside the house.
Instead of following him, I detoured to the gazebo in the back corner of the garden. Dad had built it as a surprise for Mom a few years back. I slumped down on a sun lounger and wondered what I was doing with my life. What Rogan was doing with his?
I was sixteen years old; too young to know what I wanted when I wa
s older, even if my heart was crying out for Rogan.
Neither of us knew what life would throw at us, or the people we would meet along the way. One thing I did know was that I had to get on with my life, and no matter how much I loved Rogan, I needed to pretend otherwise.
It wouldn’t be easy but, as Mom once said, the best things in life were worth waiting for.
I had to concentrate on a sibling relationship, even though I knew my anger and jealousy would eat away at me. It would hurt because my young heart was falling more and more in love with my brother.
I couldn’t help the joy that shined on my face when he looked at me in the special way he reserved just for me. It was deep and dark, his eyes hooded. Intense.
I had a feeling I would always want Rogan Scott.
Rogan
As the days passed I considered myself a saint.
Most days I could convince myself that nothing good would ever come out of loving Fallon in the way I did. I’d given her my heart when I was too young to understand what that truly meant. At least, that’s what I told myself. It was the only way to carry on as her brother and nothing more.
I noticed the way her face would light up when we were alone. I noticed how her body reacted when I was close. I noticed the way we refused to acknowledge the way we reacted to each other. It was for the best, considering our actual relationship to each other. It didn’t change my love for her. I was afraid it never would.
Fallon, oblivious to the thoughts running through my mind, chatted animatedly to Julia across from me. Leon and Chase both wore shades, and Leon couldn’t be more obvious as he stared at Julia.
The smell of hamburgers cooking on the grill made my belly grumble. A smile split my face as I watched Dad flip them over as he ignored Uncle Frank. Our uncle had been around at the house more often than usual. Dad said he was escaping the wedding madness at his house.
Uncle Frank’s daughter, Leticia, was getting married soon and both Fallon and I were part of the wedding party. We hadn’t wanted anything to do with it, but Dad took the choice away from us.
Focusing back on Fallon, I noticed a blush on her face while she continued to whisper with Julia. They were up to something, or maybe talking about us. Their eyes kept drifting toward us before they whispered some more.
Leon hissed under his breath and, being Leon, stuck his tongue out.
Fallon’s eyes widened in surprise and Julia giggled. Before Julia could comment, Fallon slapped a hand over her mouth, shaking her head. Fallon’s eyes darted toward Dad before going back to Julia, who rolled her eyes.
Julia tugged on Fallon’s wrist. “I’ll be good.”
“I bet,” Leon muttered.
Chase sniggered.
My eyes stayed on Leon until he finally gave me his attention. “What are you doing?”
“I want to know what they’re whispering about.”
“Whispering is rude, girls,” Dad shouted, having overheard.
Fallon giggled and her gaze landed on me. I noticed how her breath caught in the back of her throat before she inhaled sharply. Her eyes dropped to her hands just as Dad piled a plate high with burgers.
“Come get them before Uncle Frank eats them all.”
Lazily, we clambered to our feet, but, as usual, Leon and Uncle Frank beat everyone to the food.
I found myself behind Fallon as we reached for hamburger buns. Her flowery scent washed over me, and I briefly grabbed hold of her hips before moving away. The touch happened in the blink of an eye, even though I felt it in every beat of my heart.
I cast a sly glance Fallon’s way and noticed she was pulling on my sweatshirt, her cheeks coated in a pale pink blush. It always thrilled me to see her wearing my clothes, and as the sweatshirt drowned her, my heart thudded wildly.
“Fallon, are you cold?” Mom questioned, bringing out the potato salad.
“Too much sun,” she mumbled, her gaze briefly touched on mine before she concentrated on her food.
Making good work of the two burgers on my plate, I wondered why I was driving myself crazy.
Perhaps it was my age as I became more mature. I’d had a few years to grow up from the love I’d first felt for Fallon. We’d both changed—Fallon with her more feminine curves and me with the bulk I’d added through regular exercise.
My attitude about my future had changed too. One time I hadn’t thought about what I wanted out of life, now, it was all I could think about.
I tried so hard to not dream about Fallon and our future, but the harder I tried, the harder it became. I knew in my heart my plans would always include her, unless I did something to keep her away from me for good. I just didn’t have the willpower to stay away from her.
I told myself it was just a few more years. To hold on until we were old enough to live away from home together. I loved my parents and the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt them. I never wanted to see disappointment in their eyes like I saw in Dad’s eyes during the camping trip when he had “a word” with me. That had hurt, but I knew everything he said was true. Except the point he made about falling for Fallon because there was no other girl around—that hadn’t been true. I let him think that was the case, though.
They’d seen Fallon and me together often, and had finally relaxed about us both, although on occasions, I noticed Dad watching us closely, a weary expression on his face.
Fallon was always going to be number one in my heart, but I thought it was time to finally let our parents think I’d moved on.
I just hoped Fallon would forgive me.
9
Fallon
The bridesmaid dress was beautiful in rose gold with a strapless bodice and a straight skirt to the floor. Mom had told me that I looked beautiful and that made me nervous.
The looks Rogan had been giving me recently were hotter, darker, and more intense than before. I welcomed his gaze and hoped it would be on me during the day.
Each day was becoming more of a struggle to stay only friends. I saw the longing on his face when he thought no one else was looking, just like he saw on mine. Sometimes when I was feeling down, I wore my heart on my sleeve and the struggle Rogan had when he saw that wasn’t easy.
In fact, it wasn’t going to be easy for either of us during the wedding. I was sure Rogan and me being part of the wedding party was only because Uncle Frank and Dad insisted on it. Uncle Frank’s son and daughter had never been easy to get along with. Not that I was bothered. It just felt strange, but at least the groomsman to walk me up the aisle was going to be Rogan.
I was excited to see him in his tux, but nervous for him to see me. Our parents were guests, of course, being a family wedding and all, so we’d be on our best behavior, even if we were both sick of being good. Just once I’d like to be bad—with Rogan.
Sighing heavily, I followed the others out of the room and felt my throat go bone dry when I glanced at Rogan. He was just as frozen in place as me, except I found my feet moving toward the boy I loved. He was so handsome in the tux, which I’d known he would be.
He stood taller than me, even with the high heels on my feet. Mom had nagged him to get his dark hair trimmed so that he didn’t look like a laid back bum—Mom’s words and she’d been right.
I thought I preferred the overlong hair, except now that I saw him; the short crop was working for me. His eyes were more vivid and currently shining with heat and amusement as he held my gaze.
“You look”—he swallowed hard—“beautiful.” He started to reach out for a lock of my hair, then hesitated. He dropped his hand back to his side, a sad smile on his lips.
Not today!
Today we were going to have a good time together, even if it had to stay innocent.
The music started up outside and Uncle Frank glared at us before turning to his daughter.
Rogan reached for my hand and threaded my arm through his. When I looked up, he winked. “At least I get to walk you down the aisle.”
His words held a teasing light,
but they affected me in a different way than he’d intended. His face dropped when he realized what he’d said.
“Fallon…I didn’t think.” He frowned. “And now that I have, I feel like crap,” he whispered.
“It’s our turn.” I forced a smile, as did Rogan, and we walked up the aisle, something I wouldn’t ever be able to do and have Rogan waiting for me at the top.
The actual wedding became a blur, something I switched off from, until I was next to Rogan in the limo on the way to the country club on the outskirts of town.
I was passed a tall glass filled with a bubbly liquid by another bridesmaid. Rogan reached for it, but I was quicker and moved it out of his reach.
“No way,” I told him. “If this is champagne, then I’m going to drink it and no one will know.” I grinned. “Unless you tell them, of course.” I raised a brow, daring him.
Rogan rolled his eyes and reached for a glass. “We’re both underage to drink.” We clinked glasses. “As the British would say, bottoms up.” He guzzled the sparkly in one gulp.
I wasn’t one for being outdone, so I followed with, “Down the hatch.”
The moment my glass was empty and I pulled it away from my mouth, I hiccupped—loudly. Beside me, Rogan chuckled and refused to let me have another glass of bubbly.
“You’re already tipsy after only one glass.” He groaned. “Mom and Dad will kill me.”
Giggling, I placed my head on his shoulder and watched his face flush, his eyes filled with love for me. It was a look I’d always want and cherish, because I knew it was only reserved for me.
“I thought you two were related?” a groomsman asked, looking between us.
Rogan’s body tensed under mine and I decided to play the situation up so as to throw off the suspicion I felt from the others. “He’s my brother.” I grinned at the man and forced the smile into my eyes. “He’s also my guardian and supposed to prevent me from drinking alcohol.” I smirked. “That didn’t work out too well because I think I’m drunk.” I burped, very unladylike.