Forever Better Together

by A. D. Ellis

  And there it was. Griffin wasn’t attracted to me. He just wanted to stay best friends and brothers. I was helpless to go against anything Griffin wanted. So, I nodded. “Definitely. Nothing between us will change. But any guy you date has to pass my inspection.” My gut twisted with those words. The thought of Griffin with anyone but me was torture.

  Griffin winced a bit and laughed. “Same for you. Don’t think we’ll get to college and you can just prance guys in and out without my approval.”

  We ended the video chat with the promise to talk soon.

  But the rest of the school year and summer was so busy that Griffin and I managed to only text. We texted daily, which was nice, but it wasn’t the same. I missed seeing him. But maybe it was for the best. I needed to remember that Griffin was my family, he wasn’t a love interest. No matter how badly my heart and body wanted him to be.

  I spent the summer of my eighteenth year trying to forget how much I wanted to be with my best friend. I made out with every willing guy I could get my hands on. I had a lot of fun, but those moments brought me no real satisfaction. I had a feeling that the only way I would ever quench the thirst in my blood was with Griffin. And that wasn’t what he wanted, so I had to respect that and move on.

  One week before I moved to college, I was on a second official date with Jaylin. He was a nice guy, went to my school, and was fun to spend time with. Jaylin and I had hung out in groups of friends all school year before he finally asked me out. The first date had gone well, and I agreed to a second easily.

  We sat in a coffee shop drinking lattes and listening to a girl play acoustic guitar on a tiny stage. Jaylin sat close, his thigh touching mine. The closeness wasn’t uncomfortable, it just wasn’t keeping my interest. My thoughts were on Griffin.

  I had an unreasonable fear I’d get to college and Griffin wouldn’t show up.

  Scholarships would fall through.

  He’d change his mind.

  Something.

  There was no guarantee we’d end up rooming together. We’d both put down the other’s name on our room requests, but nothing was set in stone. I hadn’t gotten any roommate information yet, and I assumed Grif hadn’t either. Unless he just wasn’t telling me about it.

  “So, heading to college next week?” Jaylin’s words pulled me from my thoughts.

  I nodded and sipped my drink. “Yeah, got a lot to do between now and then.”

  Jaylin moved even closer and nuzzled my neck. “Gonna miss having you around. You want to get out of here?”

  I downed the rest of my latte and scooted from the booth. “Sure, let’s go.”

  Jaylin drove back to his house so I could get my car.

  “You want to come in? My parents are out.”

  I shrugged. I knew I wasn’t being fair to Jaylin, but I was preoccupied with college and Griffin.

  We stopped in the kitchen.

  “You want something to drink?”

  “Nah, I’m good.” I leaned against the counter.

  Jaylin crossed the room to stand in front of me. He was close enough I could feel his heat, breathe in his scent. He was an attractive guy. Jaylin stepped closer and gripped my hips. His mouth took mine in a soft, easy kiss as his hard length nudged my inner thigh.

  My mind flashed to an image of Griffin’s cock in my hand, spilling over my fingers as he came. I wanted Grif’s cock rocking into me. I wanted Grif’s lips on mine. I wanted Grif in my arms. I sighed.

  “Wow, you’re so not into this, huh?” Jaylin smirked as he ended the kiss and took a step back. “Who is it?”

  I started to protest, but realized there was no need. “Guy from home. I miss him. He’ll be at college with me and that’s on my mind a lot.”

  “Something happen that you could start back up?”

  “Nah, I mean, something happened, but we were just kids.”

  “You gonna at least ask him out?” Jaylin raised a brow.

  Griffin’s gorgeous face flashed in my mind along with his words, “What we have is so important to me. I can’t lose my brother and best friend. We’ll be fine, right?”

  “He doesn’t feel that way about me. We’re just friends.” I shrugged and checked the time.

  “Some of the best relationships start as just friends.”

  “Some of the best friendships are ruined by trying to be anything else.” I pulled my keys from my pocket. “Sorry for being distant and no fun tonight. Let’s keep in touch, yeah?” I pulled Jaylin into a hug.

  He gave me a smile and a wave as I left his house.

  How in the hell was I going to find something with a guy if every time I tried, I was struck with thoughts and images of Griffin-freakin-Murphy-Sanders. And it wasn’t like I could even explain it to anyone. Yeah, I’m hot for my best friend who also happens to be my adopted brother who I’ve known since I was ten. But he doesn’t see me like that so I have to secretly pine away for him while trying to relieve an itch with other guys who can’t even hold a candle to Griffin. And all my heart and body want is something with someone I can’t have.

  Shit.

  I ran a hand over my face as I started my car and headed home.

  Starting college and having Griffin nearby was what I’d been looking so forward to for such a long time, but I was beginning to think it could be a tortuous experience if my heart and dick couldn’t get themselves under control.

  4

  Griffin

  The day Momma and Pops moved me into college was as surreal as they come. Except for the day I found out I was going to get to stay with Momma and Pops forever, moving into college was the most amazing dream-come-true I’d ever experienced.

  “You excited to see Quincy?” Momma asked from the front seat.

  “Yeah. Can’t wait to get moved in and spend some time settling in and exploring campus before classes start.” I sat in the middle section of the van surrounded by my luggage and dorm room supplies. Excited to see Quincy was an understatement. I’d missed my brother so much my chest sometimes ached with wishing he was back home. But excited wasn’t the only feeling rushing through my veins. Anxiety, trepidation, wanting, and unsureness warred with each other as I thought about seeing Quincy again.

  “Sure wish the college would have let us know if you guys get to room together.” Momma pointed toward a parking spot, and Pops maneuvered the van into it.

  “I guess we’re lucky to know we are at least in the same building.” I’d recently gotten a letter stating I’d be in Green Hall, and Quincy had texted to tell me he was also in Green.

  “I’m glad you both decided to take advantage of the early move-in date. Hopefully it will be less crowded.” Momma exited the van. “Duane, you stay with the van. I’ll take Griffin in and get his room assignment. If there’s a line, I’ll send him out with a cart if there’s one available so you can start loading the luggage.”

  Pops gave a quiet nod. He never had too much to say, but he was an amazing man and loved Momma beyond measure. Pops had been a quiet strength from the very first day I walked into the Sanders home, and I hoped that someday I’d be half the man he was.

  When Momma and I entered Green Hall, we were met with a welcome blast of cool air and a fairly short check-in line.

  “Griffin, grab that cart and take it to Pops. Don’t dawdle, this line looks to be moving pretty quickly.” Momma hefted her purse onto her shoulder and shuffled the folder and papers she had brought with her. She had some experience with settling her son, Max, into college, but she was definitely exuding momma bear vibes getting me moved in. Momma had been a rock for me throughout school and scholarship applications.

  I rolled out the cart to Pops. He met me with a smile and a pat on the back. “Proud of you, just like I was for Max and I am for Quincy. Good to see all my sons being so great.”

  I clenched my jaw and fought back the stinging tears. “Thanks, Pops. Love you.” I gave him a quick hug.

  “Better get back in there before Marlene has both our hides.”


  Momma was next in line when I returned.

  “Here, you can take care of checking in.” Momma handed me the papers and folder.

  “Welcome to Green Hall.” The smiley girl behind the table greeted me when it was my turn. “Name?”

  “Griffin Murphy-Sanders.” I always got a surge of pride stating my full name. It was in memory of my mom, proof I’d overcome a shitty past, and assurance that I had a forever family to love and support me.

  The girl scanned the list. “Ah, here you are. Room 1012. Here are the keys, dorm rules, your Resident Assistant’s information, and a map of the building and campus. The elevators are down the hall, mailboxes are next to the elevators. If you’ve got questions or need help, look for someone in a green shirt. We all live in Green Hall and are happy to help.” She gave me a smile and a wink.

  Momma tsked as we walked away. “Poor girl. Shouldn’t even waste her time.”

  I snorted. Momma and I had never really talked about my sexuality, but I knew that she knew I was gay and was completely fine with it. She also knew Quincy was gay. I adored Momma and Pops, and Max, for not making anything difficult for Quincy and me.

  “Let’s get started on hauling up your stuff.” Momma bustled toward the van. Pops had the cart full and secure, just waiting for Momma to give the word. “I can carry these two bags. Grif, you take your backpack and that tote. We’ll get the rest after we go for last minute supplies, groceries, and lunch.”

  We only had to wait for a couple minutes for an open elevator. We got off the elevator and turned to the left, a right, and then a left. Room 1012 was the last room in the hall.

  My hand shook as I unlocked the door and my breath caught when I pushed the door open. As a kid who spent his first ten years in run down apartments, roach infested hotel rooms, and the backseat of a car when my mom couldn’t gather enough cash to pay rent, this college dorm room seemed like a mansion.

  Momma and Pops house was big and comfy and provided for all of my needs. But it was their house.

  This room, this suite, was mine. Sure, I’d have to share it with someone. God willing I’d be sharing it with Quincy. Only time would tell. But the room was mine. The kitchen was mine. The bathroom was mine. My eyes stung with tears I hadn’t expected.

  The suite door opened into the living room which was attached to a small kitchen and breakfast nook on the right. To the left were two bedrooms which shared an adjoining bathroom. The colors of all the rooms were neutral beiges, tans, creams, and browns. Each bedroom and the living room had a tasteful, small ceiling light. Two floor lamps adorned the living room between a plain but functional couch and two recliners. The kitchen was open and airy with bright track lighting. The bathroom had a medicine cabinet behind the mirrored doors and soft white bulbs above the sink. Each bedroom had a desk and lamp, a dresser, a twin bed, and a small closet.

  “Well, this is just as cute as can be. Let’s get it cleaned spic-n-span before we unpack.” Momma opened the tote of cleaning supplies she’d brought. “Pops, you start in the bathroom. Use this spray and cloth. Toilet, sink, shower and bath.” She handed Pops the cleaner and rag. “Griffin, you vacuum while I spray your mattress with disinfectant. I’ll spray the other mattress too. Even if Quincy isn’t your roommate, no one deserves a dirty mattress. We’ll let them sit with the spray while we’re gone. Lord knows the germs on those things. After the mattresses, I’ll move to the kitchen. You can meet me there. We’ll make sure the refrigerator is spotless before we fill it. I’m guessing that dishwasher hasn’t been cleaned very well. I brought a disinfecting pod, we’ll run it through while we work.” Momma gave commands like a drill sergeant, and Pops and I set to work.

  In less than forty-five minutes, we had the whole suite spotless.

  “It already feels better in here. A good cleaning is the best way to make a place feel like yours. I pray it’s good luck that I cleaned the second room just as well as yours; maybe it will bring Quincy as your roommate.” Momma winked.

  My phone buzzed and I answered Quincy’s call. “Speak of the devil. What’s up, Q?”

  “Man, Dad and I are getting off the elevator. What room did you get?”

  “Room 1012,” I answered as the door burst open.

  “No fucking way!” Quincy dropped his bags, crossed the room in three strides and yanked me into a hug as Momma scolded him for his language, but she held a hand to her mouth to cover a watery smile.

  I let Q bounce and jostle and squeeze me as we both laughed.

  “We did it, Grif! I don’t know how, but we did it.”

  I smiled. “Maybe believing in something long enough made it happen.”

  Max coughed. “Or your Momma made several calls to the housing department.”

  “You made just as many.” Momma crossed her arms and leveled a look at her son.

  “Fine, we both made calls.” Max shrugged.

  “That Sarah is such a sweetie. I knew she’d do her best to make it happen.” Momma put her arms around Quincy and me and held us close. “I wasn’t sure how I’d deal with my boys being gone if they weren’t together.”

  Quincy took time to hug Momma and Pops while I let Max pull me into a hug.

  “I think lunch is in order. We’ve already cleaned the whole suite. Let’s go eat.” Momma picked up her purse. “Max, can you stay?”

  “I can swing lunch, but I have to head out after that.” Quincy’s dad had moved for his job and was closer to Momma and Pops again.

  “We’ll take the boys shopping for any supplies and groceries they didn’t pack.” Momma marched to the door. “Boys, where do you want to eat?”

  “Let’s do somewhere nice, not fast food.” Quincy nudged me. “I’m sure Grif and I will get tired of fast food. What about that steak place I saw a few blocks from here?”

  “Steak sounds perfect,” Pops interjected.

  We pushed the cart into the hall.

  “If you’re done with that, can we borrow it?” A girl with red hair asked with a smile.

  “Sure thing, saves us a trip to return it.” I let the girl pull the cart from my grasp.

  The five of us piled into the elevator.

  “I can’t believe you guys knew we were going to be roommates and kept it a secret.” I shook my head.

  “We didn’t know,” Max stated. “We had high hopes, but the housing department wouldn’t give any guarantees.”

  “I think I’ll bake some cookies for Sarah. Such a nice girl.” Momma hefted her purse and watched the numbers fall from ten to the ground floor.

  “Max, you drive yourself so you can leave when you need to. Boys, you ride with us.”

  Quincy put me in a headlock and ruffled my hair. “I just can’t believe it all worked out. God, I’ve missed you, G.”

  We arrived at the restaurant not long after and lucked out by getting a table right away.

  “See, another good reason for moving in early. Places will be packed when the majority of the students move in.” Momma nodded as she perused the menu.

  We spent the next hour laughing, eating, and enjoying the company.

  Despite Momma’s protests, Max grabbed the bill. Once outside, Max gave hugs and goodbyes and we watched him drive away.

  “How long will he be gone?” I glanced at Q.

  “He’s in the states for a while still even with the recent move. Maybe until this time next year. So, I’ll see him, no worries.” Quincy opened the door for Momma.

  The next hour and a half was spent filling a cart to the brim with cleaning supplies, kitchen and bathroom necessities, bedding, food, and a few décor pieces that Momma deemed necessary.

  “This will be a good baseline for you boys. You can pick up other things as needed.” Momma scanned her list one last time as we headed to get in line.

  I was immediately reminded of the shopping trip Momma, Quincy, and I had gone on when I first moved in with them. My heart filled with love and appreciation.

  “And we’re only two hours awa
y. We’ll visit and bring supplies when we can.” Momma was still talking as she loaded the groceries onto the check-out belt.

  Quincy and I headed to the bagging area and helped load the bags back into the cart.

  When we got back to the dorm, Momma set to work stocking the kitchen.

  “Duane, you help the boys get their beds made up. I would prefer to wash the sheets first, but there’s no way around it for now. You boys promise me you’ll wash them at least once a week.”

  Pops tossed bedding sets at Quincy and me. “Let’s go.”

  As we went to work on Quincy’s bed first, Pops took a look at the internet access ports. “Looks like the Wifi should be easy to set up. Probably want to make sure you’ve got your phones and computers set up and working with no problems before you break out the moonshine and porn sites. Wouldn’t want the campus tech guys to stumble across that. ‘Course, I’m guessing they’ve seen it all.” Pops didn’t even turn to look at us as he pondered over the technology outlets.

  Quincy and I stared at each other wide-eyed.

  “You knew?” Quincy squeaked.

  “Boy, you’re lucky I ran across those porn sites instead of Momma. You’d both be dead with no hope of college.”

  “How’d you know about the moonshine?” I put Quincy’s pillow into the case.

  We walked through the bathroom to my room and started the bed-making process again.

  “I gathered the trash. Smelled like a distillery in your bathroom trash can. I dug deeper and found the evidence of your little party.” Duane chuckled. “Oh boy, Momma would have killed you a second time if she’d found that.”

  Quincy and I laughed awkwardly.