Costly Obsession: Animalize

by Sasha Pruett

  *****

  Aaron Kinsington closed his eyes and slowly removed the thin grey wire framed glasses from their resting place gently rubbing the tired orbs. It had been hours since he had rested his brain from the screen of his laptop and the many names, dates, and symbols pouring from it. He and his wife had been sitting on the couch in the middle of the living room for hours now and it wasn’t until Aaron looked at his watch that he actually realized just how long they had been working. He gazed up at his wife and smiled, “Wendy, do you know what time it is sweetie?”

  Still too entranced to notice anything but the book in front of her she ignored her husband. All that mattered right now was the puzzle before her so there she sat, Indian style, with a legal pad balanced on one leg, the book she was translating on the other, and a stack of reference books lying anywhere within her reach. The translations intrigued her greatly. At first the pages appeared to be written in Latin, and to some extent they were, but this was a dialect that had never been recorded before; at least not to her knowledge. Of course new dialects popping up here and there aren’t uncommon. Some languages have many versions reflecting slang, accents, and region of origin, but it’s always a kick to discover something new. This particular dialect seemed to come from an independent colony that formed or reformed their speech into a unique form of Latin. For Wendy Kinsington time mattered not and didn’t even register, she was too fascinated to be concerned with such trivial things.

  Aaron watched his wife as she brushed a soft auburn curl from her face and gently chewed her bottom lip, an obvious sign of deep concentration. The thick plastic rims of her own reading glasses were just heavy enough with gravity’s help to slowly glide down her miniature nose causing her to gently guide them back to their proper place with her middle finger. His heart pounded as it did when he first met her and to him she hadn’t changed one bit in the eighteen years of their marriage. Aaron smiled to himself as Wendy tapped her pen upon the notepad before her, another sign that she was deep in though and stubbornly dedicated to figuring out her latest enigma. That’s what he loved about her, her dedication. If she wouldn’t give up figuring out the secrets of history long passed than she wouldn’t give up on him; even when he gave up on himself.

  Memories replayed in his mind as he thought of her strength and determination finally landing on the memory of the day he found out that he was to be a father for the first, and so far only, time. He had all but gone out of his mind then. He knew that his wife had wanted children very badly, but he was absolutely positive that being a father was the last thing he wanted or needed. They had only been married a little over a year what was the rush? He tried to ignore it all together and even went as far as trying to convince himself and her that it was only a mistake and that it wasn’t possible for her to be pregnant right then.

  “I’m sorry Wendy, but it’s just not possible right now. You just can’t be…”

  “Pregnant Aaron, the word is pregnant. And why not? Why isn’t it possible?”

  “Because it’s just not the right time yet that’s why. There must be something else causing it, a gland problem or something. We’re just not ready yet. We’ve both got our careers and we’ve only been married a year. It’s too soon.” He realized later what a complete idiot he sounded like and he spent many months making up for it. She could have left him, she should have, but she saw through his panic attack right to the heart of the matter and better yet she understood.

  For the next few days she avoided the subject completely and he was thankful, it gave him time to think. A thousand thoughts raced through his mind --- money, time, age, health, but in the end what it all boiled down to was fear. He was terrified that he wouldn’t be a good father and would screw up the child’s life as badly as his own father had almost screwed up his own. Scared that he would turn out to be as heartless as his old man had been. Scared of being a failure. So many “what ifs” ran through his head that he had begun to lose all sense of rationality.

  “What if this? What if that? What if he or she is taken hostage by some crazed terrorist group and I can’t save them?” Aaron gave a small chuckle at how far out his mind had actually wandered. That is where Wendy gave him the proverbial slap in the face.

  “Aaron, you are not do you hear me, not your father. You never were. You severed any likeness between the two of you when you saw and realized that what he was doing was completely wrong and that it was his fault not yours. You learned what not to do from his example and that realization makes you a stronger man because now you can see the patterns that lead up to his actions and now you can prevent them.

  Your father is jealous of you because of the love and affection that you received and he didn’t, he just doesn’t realize it. He chose to make others miserable by using the philosophy, “If I didn’t get it you won’t get it.”

  It’s a shame that he was deprived of love and affection and it’s a shame that he has deprived his family of the same, but you have the decency and the knowledge that what was done to you should never happen to anyone. If you were anything like your father I would not have married you and I sure wouldn’t be standing here in front of you carrying your child. Look at our relationship compared to what your parents’ was. You love me as much as I love you and I know it. You are a gentle loving man that is not only perfectly capable of love, but of being loved, and loving others. Now is that a picture of your father?”

  She was right. I hate to admit that she’s right and I’m … well wrong, but she was and is right. To this very day she still encourages me that I’m a good father. God bless her.

  “Aaron honey, is there any coffee left?” This time it was Aaron who was not paying attention.

  “Huh? What? Coffee? Yeah, I think so. By the way, what time is it dear?”

  Wendy glanced at the clock above the TV. “Oh no! You won’t believe this, but it’s 10:23. We’ve been working all night!”

  Aaron smiled at his beloved as she suddenly came to life as if awakened after a long slumber. The legal pad with all of her notes went flying from her lap onto the floor along with the book that only moments before she fingered with great delicacy. Wendy sprang to her feet and began racing around the room franticly searching for her purse, briefcase, and her keys while muttering to herself that she was late like Alice’s little white rabbit, “Don’t just stand there laughing Aaron you’re late too. You’d better get going. Where are my keys? Have you got my keys?”

  She was tucking her pale yellow polo shirt into her khaki shorts and heading for the door when Aaron’s words caught her dead in her tracks.

  “Hun, it’s Sunday.”