Take Me Back

by Kathryn Shay

  With that, she and Rafe left the room.

  Chapter 13

  After seven weeks of book learning, the firefighter recruit program called for a test of the candidates’ EMS skills in what was called practicals. If the recruits could pass this in-house test, they’d be ready for their state exam.

  Once again, Olive addressed them. “Form groups of three or four.” Eleven recruits remained, having lost Mattison ten days ago. “Everybody needs to be a victim and first responder.”

  Before Kate could move, Lowden, Angeles and a quiet recruit, Zeke Ratkin, gravitated to her. She smiled at them. “Hey, everybody.”

  Since the incident with the fake anthrax scare, no one seemed to harbor any ill will toward her, even Lowden. They treated her respectfully.

  She said in a low voice, “Before the supervisor starts again, let me tell you that one of the most common areas of failure of these simulations is not remembering to put on universal precautions.” As a line firefighter, Kate had helped with this event a few times. “That’s because you don’t actually put them on. You just say you have.”

  “Thanks,” Lowden said, sincerely.

  Once more, Olive called for their attention. “You’ll be tested in three areas—primary assessment and airway management, hemorrhage control and oxygen therapy. At each of the three stations are the materials you’ll need. A supervisor will be assigned to you and will record your performance.”

  At least ours won’t be Rafe.

  Since she was no longer in danger after Mattison’s confession, he’d moved out of her house and began seeing Tommy on his own time. Most often when he picked his son up, Kate was absent. When she was home, there were no more dinners together, no watching TV and no lovemaking. By tacit agreement, they seemed to have taken a hiatus from each other. A nostalgia that made her heart ache plagued her most of the time, but she couldn’t summon the same energy to reunite with him that she’d had when she first came back to Hidden Cove.

  “Hey, ladies and gentlemen. You got me.”

  Kate turned to the speaker, though she recognized his voice. “Good morning, Captain Klimek.”

  “Firefighter Cassidy.” He gave her a warm smile, but did the same with the others. Everybody had relaxed now the content of the course was mostly activity and not the heavy science of anatomy and firefighting. They only had a few more weeks to go.

  “Who’d like to be the first victim?”

  “I will,” Kate told him.

  “I’ll be the first responder.” This from Lowden.

  They crossed the distance to an area blocked off by a screen. Dropping to the floor, Kate stretched out on a mat. Klimek said, “Your victim has been rescued out of a fire. She’s unconscious. Lowden, narrate what you’re doing as you assess your patient.”

  Lowden knelt beside Kate. “I’m donning universal protections.” She mimicked putting on eye goggles, a mask and gloves.

  Bending over, Lowden lifted Kate’s chin. She looked in her mouth. “No obstruction of airways.” She leaned over. “I’m assessing her breathing.” Her cheek on Kate’s chest, she listened as it moved slowly up and down. “Solid exchange of air.”

  “If there wasn’t?” Klimek asked.

  “I’d do chest compressions and if necessary, mouth to mouth resuscitation.”

  “Proceed.”

  “Now I’ll check for circulation. I’m putting two fingers at the neck of the victim to check the carotid artery.” She matched her actions to her words. “Victim has a strong pulse.”

  “What would you do if you were treating a child?”

  Lowden said, “I’d check the brachial artery between the armpit and elbow.”

  Klimek didn’t respond.

  Her eyes wide, Lowden looked at Kate, as if she’d been incorrect.

  “You passed with flying colors,” Kate whispered.

  “I thought you were unconscious, Cassidy,” Klimek said with amusement in his voice.

  “Sorry sir. Just coughing.”

  “You pass Lowden.” They exchanged places. Kate was quizzed on hemorrhage which she passed with flying colors. They mixed up the area of assessment all day long so no one could copy someone else.

  Klimek checked his roster. “Angeles and Ratkin, you’re next.”

  Kate accompanied Lowden back to their seats. “Thanks for not choking me to death,” she joked.

  Lowden didn’t smile. “I’m sorry about that stuff with Mattison. I had no idea he felt that way about me. I got a guy, and we’re serious.”

  “Ah.”

  “I, um, wanna be friends, Kate. I know I haven’t been open to you, but you’re an excellent firefighter and nice person. Mattison said you asked for him to stay in the program.”

  “I couldn’t stop his expulsion.”

  “I’m not surprised. The chief runs a tight ship.”

  They finished the EMS practicals and the recruits headed for lunch. Kate detoured to the bathroom, promising to meet her group in the gym’s kitchen. When she finished, she opened the door to leave. “Oh!” She clapped her hand over her chest. Rafe was leaning against the wall. “You scared me. I didn’t know you were here today.”

  “Last consolidation meeting.”

  “Do you need me for something?”

  “Yeah!” His seemed subdued. “I want to pick Tommy up early Sunday. My family’s going to Lakeside Amusement Park.” He rolled his eyes. “All of them.”

  “I remember those annual visits.”

  She got a brief flash of riding with Ali on the Death Spiral and screaming themselves silly. Traversing the water park with Rafe, dunking each other, playing with his nieces and nephews. “What time do you want him?”

  “Eight.” He arched a brow. “You could come.”

  She sighed. She could. But she wasn’t up to dealing with the strain of being with him and his family again. She hadn’t been with any of them since the debacle of Gideon’s birthday when she and Rafe had a fight. “I don’t think so. I’ve been tired lately and wasn’t planning to do much this weekend. Tommy’s got a play date Saturday afternoon with a boy right down the street and I’ll nap then. And on Sunday, when you take him.”

  “That’s unlike you. You usually bubble over with energy.”

  That was the old Kate. “This has been an eventful few weeks and I haven’t gotten much sleep. It’s catching up to me.”

  “Then, I hope you get some rest.”

  “See you later, Rafe.”

  As she started down the hall, he said, “Hold on, Kate.” When she pivoted, he said quietly, “I miss you.”

  “Do you?”

  “In a lot of ways. Just doing normal things as a family.” He moved in closer. “And we only made love that one time, after the rappelling incident.”

  “It’s harder to be close when you’re not living with us.”

  His wonderful brown eyes narrowed. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Of course.”

  “Do you still want me back?”

  “With all my heart. But maybe we rushed into things too fast. I think it’s best we put on the brakes a bit, and recoup some. Now that everything’s over with the danger we thought I was in.”

  “That’s the opposite of what you did when you came back. You said you wanted to be with me every minute.”

  “I did. I do. But it hurts now to be with you. As I said, let me bounce back from all that’s happened.”

  He frowned.

  She cocked her head. “This is new. You being the aggressor.”

  “As I said, I miss you.”

  “Thanks, that’s good to know. I have to get to lunch.” She couldn’t resist touching him. She squeezed his forearm.

  He held her hand there. “Let’s talk.”

  “We will, soon. Goodbye.”

  o0o

  Lakeview Amusement Park was located across town. As they drove up to the spot, the taller rides rose above the houses and businesses nearby like something out of a movie. Rafe found a space to park, pa
id at the entrance and got him and Tommy inside and off to the side where they waited for the others to arrive. “Remember, Tom, that you have to stay with an adult at all times. No running away from us.”

  “I know, Dad.” The boy’s bottom lip jutted out. “I wish Mommy came.”

  “Yeah, so do I.”

  The others finally came through the gate and joined them. Seth squatted down. “Hey, buddy. I’m gonna stay with you and your dad for a while. Where do you want to go first?”

  Tommy glanced at his cousins who were with their mother. “Can we do rides with Mikey and Mattie?”

  Rafe asked, “Can he?”

  “The younger kids, yes.” Ali smiled. “If you two go with them, I can take Pete and Gideon’s son on some bigger rides.” They didn’t let the preteens roam the park alone.

  “That works for me. Where’s Gid?”

  “He got a call from the station. He had to go in. Two of the kids wouldn’t come without him.”

  “Hell,” Rafe said. “We would have watched them.”

  Mikey tugged on Seth’s arm. “I like the railroad. Can we do that first?”

  Rafe and Seth got the three boys on the little train that circled around the track with noisy clicks. He and Seth took seats on the bench to watch.

  Seth said, “Nice day out, huh? All this sun.” He breathed in. “And fresh air.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Then why do you look like you lost your best friend?”

  “Nah, he’s right here.” He poked Seth’s arm.

  “You know who I mean.”

  Rafe stared ahead.

  “Things aren’t good with Kate?”

  “They aren’t anything. Since I moved out, I hardly see her.”

  He remembered the stricken expression on her face when he packed up his stuff and left her house. He had to call on all his willpower not to toss the bags aside and grab onto her. Tell her he wasn’t going anywhere.

  “You said she wasn’t mad at you anymore about the child custody agreement or the secret DNA test.”

  “Right. After her accident.” He shrugged. “Go figure.”

  “So what happened?”

  “She stopped pursuing me. She was upset that I played down our relationship at Gideon’s barbeque, about why I was staying with them.” He shook his head. “If I wasn’t teaching some of her classes for the training, I’d never see her.”

  “I thought she was tougher than that.”

  He stared out blindly. “I think it was a lot of things combined. The accident, the tedium of reviewing what she already knows at the academy, the anthrax scare. Everything got to her.”

  Seth didn’t respond.

  “No comment?”

  “You won’t like it.”

  “No, go head. I’m listening.”

  “My guess is she got tired of your vacillating.”

  “I didn’t vacillate. I told her all along I wasn’t sure I could ever trust her.”

  “While you played family…and husband…to them.”

  That got to Rafe. “What the hell, Seth? I thought you understood.”

  “I do. I understand both of you. But she’s been back two months. I think she expected you to be better to her by now. Especially after you broke up with Melanie.”

  “She was gone six years! Two months is nothing.”

  “If you say so. Hey, the kids are coming.”

  They both stood while the boys raced to them.

  “This place is so cool, Dad. Mike and Mattie come here all the time.”

  “Can we go on the bumper cars?” Mattie asked.

  “Yeah, with us, though,” Seth said. He looked to Rafe. “You coming?”

  “Yeah. I don’t want to talk anymore. Let’s go.”

  Determined to enjoy the rest of the day, Rafe rode with Tommy on the bumper cars and the mini-rollercoaster, then the family had lunch. Mama had prepared subs for everybody, drinks and chocolate chip cookies. Rafe ate half of his meatball sandwich and didn’t even bother with dessert.

  “Let’s go off on our own for a while, Tommy.”

  “Sure, Dad.”

  He and his son held hands and walked past the merry-go-round, and Tommy eyes widened. “Can we go on the horses?”

  “Of course.”

  As he got Tommy situated, he remembered him and Kate…

  “Hey, you don’t have to lift me up.”

  “Sure, I do,” he said, then murmured, “I get to see your ass, close up, in those tight shorts.”

  “You get to see my ass all the time.”

  “It’ll never be enough.”

  After the carousel, they passed by the games area and Tommy’s eyes widened. “Can we do those?”

  Rafe looked in the direction of his interest. The ring toss. He had another quick vision of Kate, her cheeks red, her eyes sparkling…

  “If I win, I get to pick what I want.”

  “You always get to pick.”

  “Not the other night.”

  His eyes burned. “You loved it.”

  “I did. But I ordered some toys I want to try.”

  “Sex toys?”

  “Yep.”

  “Well, if I have to…”

  He’d lost intentionally that night.

  Tommy tugged on his arm. “Dad, I asked if we could go there?”

  “Yeah, of course. I was thinking how your mommy and I used to play that game.”

  Tommy frowned. “Mommy’s sad.”

  “Sad? I thought she was tired.”

  “She is. But sad, too.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I’m sad.”

  Rafe bent down and picked Tommy up. “Why, buddy?”

  “I liked living with you. So did Mommy.”

  It hit him then, how he’d gotten everybody’s hopes up. He’d been selfish in thinking only about himself, how he wanted to be with them, when all the time, he knew he had an escape route.

  In the bright sun of June, he was ashamed of himself.

  o0o

  Kate got up for the second time at noon. Rested, she went out to the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee. She leaned against the counter and closed her eyes. Well, she couldn’t stay here all day until Rafe brought Tommy back. She’d go nuts. She picked up her phone. Punched in numbers. “Megan Hale.”

  “Hey, Meg. It’s Kate. I wondered if I could come over and visit.”

  “You can come to Hale’s Haven, which is where I am.”

  She thought about the camp and how much time she used to give to it. “Can you use an extra hand until seven? Rafe’s got Tommy.”

  “We can use a hundred extra hands. This is the week for kids of slain veterans. They came Friday.”

  “I’ll be there in a half hour. Put me anywhere.”

  Immediately perked up by the prospect of Hale’s Haven, Kate drove to the camp in a better mood. She texted Megan when she parked, and Meg met her by the entrance. “Hey, kiddo. What a surprise.”

  “Thanks.” They started down the slight incline to the camp proper with the joyful shouts and screams of the kids playing on the go-carts and the chirps of birds in the trees.

  “You okay? You look a little peaked.”

  “It’s been a rough couple of weeks.”

  “Want to talk?”

  “No, I want to do something good for somebody else. Put me to work.”

  “Would you mind helping in the kitchen for a few hours? We’re short-handed there.”

  “Sure.”

  “Not so fast. Sabina and Carmella are in charge of dinner.”

  She hadn’t seen Mama since Gideon’s birthday. “Didn’t she go to the amusement park with her family?”

  “No, Sabina called her and asked her to help out. If we’d known she had other plans, we wouldn’t have asked.”

  “Don’t worry, Carmella isn’t that fond of the rides. She was probably glad to get out of it.”

  “How come you didn’t go?”

  “Rafe and I are taking a break. The intens
ity of our relationship. It got to be too much for both of us.”

  “Were you invited to the park?”

  “Um, yeah.”

  John Beck, a captain on another group, and in charge of the veteran camp, waved to them. “Hey, Kate.”

  “Beck. Nice to see you.”

  “Mind if I borrow Megan for a bit?”

  “Not at all.”

  Meg said, “You know your way there.”

  “Yeah, I do.” Kate took the path to the kitchen. Without her consent, her thoughts turned to Rafe, when they worked here, together. How they’d sneaked down to the kitchen some nights for ice cream, how they made love under the stars way down the beach in a secluded cove, how they’d both cried with a little one who’d lost her mother in a fire.

  “Arrgh!” She had to vigorously put thoughts of him out of her mind now!

  Easier said than done when she walked inside through the back door and found his mother alone at the sink, washing potatoes. “Hey, Mama.”

  Carmella turned around. Her hair was covered in a net and she wore an apron that said, Hale’s Haven Cook on it. “Katie, hello.”

  She crossed to the woman, who enveloped her in a big hug.

  “I haven’t seen you in a couple of weeks.”

  “Yeah, I know. Things have been happening. If you don’t mind, I don’t want to get into it. I want to help out.”

  Rafe’s mother took another apron from the drawer, wrapped it around Kate and tied it in the back. “All right, dear. But let me say I don’t think my son meant what he said that day at our house. What made you leave.”

  “Thanks for that.”

  Throughout the afternoon, Kate enjoyed making sloppy joes and salads with the two older women. Sabina was full of news about Mitch’s grown children, Trish’s new baby and Bobby’s music career. Carmella talked about how big her oldest grandson was growing up and Alessia’s going back to school.

  “Has Ali started already? I thought she was going back in September.”

  “She’s taking one of her fall courses this summer. She wanted a head start in case she couldn’t handle the coursework and being a mother.”

  “She didn’t call me to help. Do you know anything I can do before I go on the line?”