by Hart, Rebel
He smiled. “I mean, we’re good. Planning things together. Trying to get everything figured out. Packing up our things and trying to keep our families at bay.”
“Still writing up flow charts of how you two will spend your free time once you’re both Ivy League bigshots?”
He rolled his eyes. “I hate you for bringing that back up.”
My jaw dropped open. “Holy shit, is she still doing that?”
“Yep. Especially now that I changed my schedule around a bit. It’s driving me fucking crazy, dude.”
I laughed. “Well, just show her she doesn’t need to meticulously plan all this stuff out.”
“Is that even possible with someone like Allison?”
“Look, nothing is impossible with a girl you like.”
“Love.”
I paused. “Come again?”
He snickered. “I love her, Clint.”
I blinked. “Holy shit, have you told her that?”
He shook his head. “Not yet. But I want to. You think it’s too soon?”
I clamored up beside him. “Hell, no, man! Congratulations! When did this happen?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I just looked at her the other day while she was talking about her schedule and when we might encounter one another on our walks to classes, and it just hit me. I love her. I said it in my head and it made me smile. I love Allison, man.”
I clapped his shoulder. “Sounds like you should do something special with her this weekend while Rae and I are in orientation.”
“Wait, this is your orientation, too? Did you decide to go to college?”
I snickered. “Hell, no. You know me. But I did tell Rae I’d walk with her around campus and attend a couple of the formal gatherings of incoming freshman with her. She’s really nervous.”
“Is she finally talking to you about things?”
“She’s getting better. It’s not perfect, but nothing is ever perfect.”
“Tell that to Allison.”
I chuckled. “But, back to my original--well--thing. Plan something nice for her while we’re out. Let her know with your words that you want the same things she does when you start school. Let her know you want to keep her as a priority going forward. Even with school changing. All she needs is a bit of reassurance. Because if she’s still on this trip or something, you probably aren’t communicating the way she needs you to.”
He sighed. “Fuck, girls are complicated.”
I shrugged. “Not really. They want reassurance, romance, and good snacks. Oh, and they want to know they don’t have to be strong all the time.”
“Uh huh.”
“No, I’m serious. Half of the shit between me and Rae cleared up when I looked her in her face and told her I was here for her. That she didn’t have to be strong for me anymore. I mean, we started our relationship with her being strong for me. I had to let her know it was okay--and time--to switch gears.”
I watched him ponder my words as we turned down the main road through town toward Ally’s house.
“When the fuck did you get so wise?”
I threw my head back, laughing. “You sound like Ma now.”
“Maybe she’s got a point. You definitely don’t sound like the Clint Clarke you used to sound like.”
I shrugged. “Shit changes. But not always for the worst. The girls need to know that. Because I think this college things is freaking them both out way more than it should. Also, you’re a dick.”
“What? What did I do?”
“I’ve always been wise. Just never had anyone to share my wisdom with.”
Mike looked down at the clock. “Shit.”
“What?”
He sighed. “I told the girls we’d be there to pick them up with enough time to swing through somewhere and get lunch.”
“So… what?”
“Look at the time.”
My eyes fell to his very fancy dashboard and I snickered.
“Whoops.”
Mike took a sharp right. “Yeah, they’re not going to be happy.”
“Wait, where are we--?”
“The coffee shop. Coffee will smooth this over.”
I snickered as we pulled into the parking lot. He had a point, and I knew exactly what to get Rae. I remembered it from so long ago. Back last year, when she scared me so badly after coming back from picking up coffee and pastries. We walked inside and rattled off our orders. Then I picked out some treats for Rae. Mike and I piled everything into his car before slipping into a sandwich shop on the corner, grabbing all of us small meals just in case.
“Think this’ll be enough?” Mike asked.
I snickered. “I fucking hope so. We have enough food to feed a small army. I’m sure they’ll find something they like in all this.”
“Think it’ll make up for being an hour late?”
I shrugged. “Guess we’ll find out.”
I sipped my coffee as Mike drove us toward Ally’s house. I mean, the college was only an hour away, at the most. Check-in for the hotel wasn’t until three anyway. There was no reason for us to leave at noon in the first place. I leaned back in the seat, watching as the world passed us by. We were lucky that Mike’s father had an ‘in’ with the hotel we were staying at. Because otherwise, we wouldn't have been able to check in without an adult present.
Thank fuck for connections.
“This weekend is going to be awesome, dude.”
Mike sounded absolutely jovial as he wiggled around in his seat.
“I’m going to have Allison all to myself. I mean, assuming we’re going to be switching up rooms. We’re still doing that, right?”
I shrugged. “If the girls want to, yeah.”
“Yes. I think I can convince Allison. I haven’t slept with her yet. I mean, not sexually. But not like that, either. I think it would be great, waking up to her like that. Making her coffee. Snuggling her close. Maybe turning on a movie before we get out of bed for the day.”
I smiled. “Oh, yeah. You got it bad for her.”
“Can you blame me? She drives me nuts, but she’s still perfect as ever.”
“I know how you feel,” I murmured.
I was looking forward to spending the time with Rae. But the smallest part of me was concerned she wouldn't go along with the plan. Usually, I was concerned Ally wouldn’t go along with it. So conservative. Not wanting to cross any lines that possibly meant temptation. But, with how rocky things had been with me and Rae, I wondered if she’d use this time to be with Ally instead of me. I mean, Mike was awesome. He’d become a very quick best friend. But I didn't want to share a hotel room with him.
Not if my girl was in the room beside us.
“I think Allison will be happy with the arrangements. I mean, I brought it up to her the other day and she didn’t completely shoot it down. She’s worried about it, sure. But I reassured her that my hands wouldn't go anywhere she didn’t want them. And that seemed to alleviate her worries a bit. I think she might actually go for it, Clint. You know, sharing a room with me.”
I paused. “These rooms have two beds, right?”
He nodded. “Yep. Two queen-size beds each. And a balcony. It’s a great hotel.”
My eyebrows rose. “Wow. That does sound like a nice room.”
“Dad said for us to charge whatever we wanted in terms of room service, too. I think, mostly, to settle his mind that we’re ordering food and not out getting our asses in trouble. You know what I mean?”
“We might go out a couple of times, though.”
Mike grinned at me in the rearview mirror. “Doesn’t mean we can’t order something before we leave.”
I shook my head. “You remind me of the old me.”
“Hey. It’s possible to have fun without destroying property and being a dick.”
“Hey! I--didn’t destroy property. Kind of.”
Mike laughed. “At least you own up to the other part.”
I chuckled as we pulled into the driveway of Allison’s parents�
�� house. A very nice house. One like what I hoped to own one day. A modest home compared to the ones that surrounded it, and yet it was perfect. Not too big, not too small. A white picket fence and a smooth concrete driveway. A glistening white house with one of the few lawns in the neighborhood that boasted green grass instead of fake turf.
I just hoped the girls weren’t too upset that we were running behind.
11
Raelynn
Allison sighed. “I knew the guys would be late. I swear, Michael can’t ever stay on schedule.”
I rolled my eyes. “Quit giving those guys such a hard time. We can’t check in until later this afternoon anyway.”
“I know. But, what’s going to happen when he has to stick to a rigid schedule in college? Stanford isn’t going to settle for a boy always late to his classes.”
“Was he late to classes in high school?”
“No, but he was also locked down into the building for seven hours. He had nothing else to do but go to class.”
Point taken. “I just think you’re riding him a little too hard, Allison. That’s all. I mean, Michael is smart. He’s quick on his feet. Just because he runs late to outside functions doesn’t mean he’s going to treat college the same way.”
“I don’t know. I mean, I know my schedules and outlining things is making him upset. But what else can I do? I want to help him succeed. And it’s like he won’t let me.”
I snickered. “The two of you are going to be fine. Just try not controlling every aspect of his world for once. It’s okay to live. There’s a life outside of school.”
“Yeah, once we get out of school.”
I shook my head as she gazed out the window. Allison was wound much too tight for any of this. Hopefully, this weekend would do her some good. Hopefully, we could convince her to go to a party and just breathe. She really needed to. Because if her panties wound themselves any tighter, her ass crack would slit right up her damn back. I was tired of watching her talk herself in circles. I was tired of seeing how exhausted Michael was with her fucking graphs and schedules and string-to-string play-by-plays outlining the next four years.
The girl had to take a breath.
My phone rang and I closed my eyes. It rang and it rang, and I wanted to ignore it. I knew who it was. She’d called me three times already to rattle off in my ear. I didn't want to talk to my mother anymore. Because while I knew she had my best interests in mind, there was always that reminder of her own selfish motives.
“You going to answer that?” Allison asked.
I sighed. “I guess I should.”
“She’ll just keep calling until you do.”
“I know. I know.”
“Maybe you should tell her how you’re feeling. She might understand.”
“Yeah, no. Maybe when I’m settled at school the cyclone of crazy can miss me because I’m an hour away.”
She giggled. “You don’t give your mother enough credit.”
I pulled my phone out. “And you give her too much.”
I swiped my finger across the cracked screen of my phone before I held it to my ear.
“Hey, Mom.”
“You forgot your cell phone charger! I found it in your room.”
I paused. “What--? Are you--? No, Mom. I have two. One of them I keep in my purse. Why--why are you in my bedroom?”
“Because something stinks in your room, so I’m cleaning it.”
“Mom. Don’t go in my room. I’m serious.”
“I can’t let the smell just linger.”
“Mom!”
“Do you want me to run you over an extra pair of underwear? I mean, you’ve got some laying out on your bed. Did you mean to pack them?”
I groaned. “Mom. Just spray some Febreeze and I’ll fish out the scent when I get back. I’m sure it’s nothing.”
She sighed. “I can’t live with that smell while you’re gone. And we’re out of Febreeze.”
I paused. “I bought a three pack of it a week ago. They should be under the sink.”
“Oh, it’ll be fine. Let me just--what’s this?”
“Mom!”
Allison squealed. “The boys are pulling up.”
“Mom, I have to go. Please, just get out of my room.”
“What’s this box? That’s what stinks so badly.”
“The damn box doesn’t stink, Mom! Put it down!” I roared.
Everyone froze. Allison stared at me with wide eyes and Mom fell silent. I didn't want her touching that box. Holy fuck, I’d make Michael take me back to the house just so I could take the box with me. In fact, that was a great idea.
I sighed. “I need that box with me, actually. It’s got some information I need in it.”
Mom cleared her throat. “I can, uh, fish it out for you if--”
“Mom, I love you. And I get this is hard for you. And I’m sorry I yelled at you. But you have to start coming to terms with this. I’m going off to college in a couple of weeks and you have to find a way to be okay with that. You can’t snoop around in my room. You have to trust me on this, okay? Just… just be proud of me? Okay?”
She sighed. “I’m so very proud of you. You have no idea.”
No, I don’t. “Just take the box with you downstairs. I’ll come by and get it.”
“What’s in it?”
I bit down onto the inside of my cheek. “Just stuff I need. I meant to pack it. Then I can figure out why it stinks and you won’t have to deal with the smell anymore. How’s that sound?”
She sighed. “Okay. I’ll take it downstairs with me.”
“Thank you.”
“Oh, do you have your list of questions you wanted to ask during your orientation?”
I paused. “That’s what’s in the box.”
I fucking hope she bought my lie and didn’t try to open the damn thing.
“Ah, well. Come get it, then. Anything else you need from your room?”
I shook my head. “I’ll take one last look at it before I leave. I promise. Okay? And I’ll give you a big hug.”
“I’d like that very much.”
I hung up the phone and sighed. I stood up from the bed as Allison eyed me carefully, then reached for my bag. I slipped my phone into my pocket as we silently walked downstairs. I heard Michael and Clint talking to Allison’s parents, promising they’d take good care of us.
Normally, I’d interject with a quip of some sort.
But I was too focused on getting back to the house.
Michael gave Allison a big hug, but I slipped by Clint. I wanted to get out of there. I needed to, really. I tossed my stuff into the back of the car, then hopped in. I waited impatiently for the three of them to make their way back to me. Everyone climbed in silently as Allison waved at her parents. Clint climbed over me, seating himself next to the window before he took my hand.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
“Michael, can we go back to my house for a minute? I left something.”
I tossed Clint a knowing look and he sighed. I snickered to myself and Michael drove to my place, and I quickly hopped out of the car. I motioned for Clint to stay behind. I didn't want anyone to witness this. Because if something broke out between my mother and me, I didn’t want anyone bearing witness to it.
I was tired of everyone seeing the destitution of my life.
“Hey there, sweetheart.”
Mom rushed me the second I walked in the door and hugged me tight.
“Hey, Mom.”
She kissed my cheek. “The box is on the kitchen table. And I packed a couple of sodas for you and everyone else for the road.”
“Thanks.”
I walked into the kitchen and sighed with relief. There was the box. With the lock on the front of it. It didn’t look tampered with. Or as if it had been broken. So I scooped it up before reaching for the shoulder-strapped cooler. I nodded at Mom with a taut smile on my lips, then quickly made my way upstairs.
I should’ve done this a l
ong time ago anyway.
I locked my bedroom door behind me and started whirling around my room. I picked up one of the larger bags I’d kept from Cecilia’s stash and started stuffing it with all sorts of things. The box. The underwear. I pulled out my dresser drawer of panties and dug all the way to the bottom. Until my hand fell against the white envelope. I shoved that into the purse. I picked up my piggy bank and put that in there, too. I reached above my closet with a yardstick I kept in the closet and scraped along its shelf top until two tied-off socks fell in my face. I stuffed those in the purse, too, before gazing around the room.
And when my eyes fell to my bed, I sighed.
The measures I’d gone to in order to keep my money out of the hands of my mother had become exponential. It almost made me want to cry. Almost, anyway. I walked over and pulled up the lower corner of my fitted sheet. I jammed my hand into the small slit I’d made in the mattress. Just big enough for my fingers to fit through. I grabbed the wads of cash, shoving them into the purse. One, after another, after another. Until all six of them were safely at my side.
If Mom was going to start sifting through my room, then I had to make sure she wouldn't find anything I intended to keep.
I put the expensive sunglasses I’d kept on top of my head. I packed away the few pieces of jewelry I’d convinced myself to keep. The two silken scarves I was saving for a rainy day. I folded up really tight the couple outfits I had yet to sell. Then I shoved the pair of heels I wore to prom down at the very bottom of that massive purse before zipping it up.
Thank fuck, the bag was huge.
“Wow, looks like you forgot a lot.”
I snickered, coming down the stairs. “Yeah, well. I’m glad you convinced me to come back.”
Mom grinned. “Sometimes I do know best.”
Yeah, maybe. “All right. I’m heading out. I’ll see--”
“Uh uh uh. You forgetting something?”
She held her arms out for me and I internally cringed. I walked over to her and hugged her, feeling her kiss my cheek. Over and over. As if she weren’t ever going to see me again. I hugged her neck one last time before pulling away, and tried my best to give her a reassuring smile.
“Oh, you got those questions?”