to be a boy, then he will be just like me, not obeying his words.
I once again saw her.
I knew her sweet kisses, and immense care is going to be shared by another, yet when I realised I am going to become a father I am excited and engrossed oblivious of other things.
My mother came near me and asked me not to panic and stay calm.
I went and leaned on the wall.
My girl never forgot to smile, indicating how happy she was every time. She always leaned on my shoulders and I regularly hugged her. We wondered how delightful it was for us to live a life like this on the Earth. While she was pregnant she, my mother and I often spoke to the gorgeous angel growing inside her womb. For first few months, my daughter had been silent but on later months, she responded to us with a kick to her stomach.
Almost all our relatives and friends are keen on the date in which the beautiful among the most beautiful is going to see this world.
We allowed my wife only to sleep on the velvet mattress hearing her favourite songs, reading her favourite books and of course helping me a little in my work and nothing other to do. I took care of her based on the advice of our parents.
Her parents are much happy with the life their daughter is living with me. They just stayed away from us and never wanted to interfere in our life. They have a good respect for me, and I too respected them.
Six months passed like this.
A week before I consulted the doctor, she said to me that the delivery might take place the next week. Then to remain on the safer side, I admitted her in the hospital the same day. My mother and I fetched her, pomegranate and other of her favourite fruits and foods. Since then I have been on leave for my work and remained with her in the hospital. The days passed and now she is inside the operating theatre, and I am standing here outside, tensed saying a strong prayer to the God that everything should be fine. My mother gave me the confidence and stood as a support to me.
A few minutes later, I heard a sensational voice, the crying sound of my baby. Every face surrounding us brightened up. The nurse came out. I thought of kissing her hands, which first touched my little angel. I was so excited to hear what she will be saying, yet before she opened her mouth I asked.
“Is my wife alright”
“Yes,” she said
“You got a boy…” she told me.
All my hopes shattered in a second; yet, I am not disappointed. I went inside to see how my boy was. Before me, my mother took him in her lovely hands, and then she pampered him by saying her sweet words. My boy is passing around the hands of everyone. I went near, stroked her and cuddled her. She smiled, but her concentration seemed to be resting over with my boy.
Finally, my white mouse’s little boy came near me. I stretched my hands. My mother gently placed him in mine. He mostly took her mother’s appearance and a part of mine.
I saw my hands and wondered,
“Will these things happen?”
Then I returned from my sweet imaginary dreams to the sour reality. I have been like this since from the day I joined in the job. I will be imagining my future with her. I loved doing this, and these kinds of things made my life go.
I never expected that these years would also be adorable like my past college and school years. That was because of the good friends I have at the job. I realised that it was the right time to propose her face to face, seeing straight into her eyes. I believed something that she will also love me because if she hasn’t, then she would have refused to my proposal through the mail. But she has never done that. So I arrived at the conclusion that she might be afraid of her father or else for her family to accept my wish to live with her.
My each and every neuron carrying her name back and forth in my brain made me sense the threshold ecstasy. This weirdest yet tranquilising feeling induced the hate of dying. They slowly increased my hatred towards ageing.
36.CLOSE YOUR EYES I AM COMING NEAR YOU:
With your gaze my heartily rose blossomed
I always feel great and wonder
To me how you happened
Like the peaceful sky hit by the thunder
The day you came into the dreams of mine
I realised that I was as in love as never before
When you smiled as if you had the same one
All I felt is that someday you would come and adore
When you were near, I never spoke because of shy
So the time got angry and flew somewhere
Oh! God Just give me the wings to fly
Since I had to catch that time back and keep it there
If you love someone and if you say
Then I will never come in your way
If you don’t then come soon without any delay
As I am waiting for you everyday
Because who will listen to everything you talk?
Who will call you with nick name?
Who will hold your hands in all the way you walk?
Who will give you all their fame?
I will always hold you tight
Never leave you away from my sight
And will neither induce a fight
Nor argue as I am right
When your beauty wilts and when you become old
Who other than me will love you this much as I do?
The depth of my love could never be told
So you think well before you say no
Whenever I am happy, I feel thee
You are there with me as the happiness
Even if you take everything away from me
You will be still present there as the emptiness
I don’t know what on Earth
Could convey my love underneath
If you can’t give yourself then give me myself
Which I have been, before the day I saw you- yourself
I wrote everything which I experienced all these years and what I felt in the form of a poem. Because I thought it would be a remarkable incident in my life if I could pen all my emotions into a poem. She indeed possessed love towards poems and she might at least like my poem if not me. I still remember the day she topped in literature.
Aeons might pass but I would be holding the poem near my heart and I would find some pleasure in reading it. If God permits me then I might be reading this to my daughter, demonstrating her how I wooed her mother. This beautiful poem will always evince the enchanting music I ever heard in my life.
Then I went in search of her. First, I called on her number which I have got from Syed. I found that the number he gave me was no longer in use. So, for the first time in my life I went to the college she has studied.
After seeing that college, I wished to study once more in the same college along with her. The day being a holiday I went to the class she studied and sat in it. The things that she used are loved by me more than she did. These things waited for the arrival of her lover (me) knowing that I would give them importance though she was the one using them.
I asked about the details of her by saying her name. I was a little luckier to meet her classmate, who worked in the same college. He gave me some details about her. Then I went to the place, where she had stayed two years back, and after a day’s search, finally I got the address where her relatives are living now.
Then I got her phone number from their relatives by pretending as a friend to her. At last, I found that she was not far from my home. She lives just 5kms away from my home.
I came home, my parents, who thought for these two years that I have forgotten her was little shocked with my new intention. But they didn’t impede my way.
The next day, I called her on the phone and heard her voice after a long time. This time I am not afraid of anything. Might those missing years have fed the courage to me?
I told her, “I am Krishna, hope you h
aven’t forgot me. I need to talk with you tomorrow, can you come to the Lourdes Park”
She retorted me that, “Sorry tomorrow I have some important things to do. I am right now near the park only. I will come there and can you come now.”
On hearing this, my mind understood that she does not love me but my heart couldn’t concede that.
Soon I went there. I saw her, long after six years. My imaginations are not good enough to imagine her, I understood on seeing her. She looked just in contrast of what I have imagined the way she will look after these years. Even nature loved her it seems because it filled her with the beauty and elegance as ages went while it takes away some charm in case of other humans. She looked more stunningly gorgeous than I imagined.
For every step that I took, I felt every second that I am getting close to her I am missing the bullet that is pointed towards my head. I am about to stumble when I went to close to her. Mainly thinking of the answer she is going to afford me.
“Close your eyes I am coming near you
Forget yourself, I am coming into you
Just lose yourself, I am searching myself
Shut your ears I am going to say I love you
Imagine yourself that you are just born now
You know nothing in this world except me;
For a minute let I be yours and you be mine,
Both of us shall decide what else we need to survive
Oh! My girl, just love me or at least lie to me as you love me”
I said these to her image, which is sailing around my thoughts.
Then I gave her the letter I wrote for her.
She did not even intend to read that fully.
“I know all these right from the day you proposed me through the mail. I am surprised that you love
In Love : Once & Forever Page 19