The Wild Passion of an Eccentric Lady: A Historical Regency Romance Book

by Emily Honeyfield

  Despite the fear and desperation that he felt, thoughts of Emilia returned once more. He wished to hold onto her and never let go. Simon was an emboldened man who would stop at nothing. He took out the note that Emilia had written, thanking him.

  He held it tightly within his palm before releasing it and watching it flutter off into the wind. Emilia would never need to thank him again. Everything that he would do for her would be for her pleasure, and if she was feeling pleasure, Simon would be experiencing immense happiness.

  Chapter 23

  Once Simon finally returned to Montgomery House, he found that he had returned to a state of calm. He was going to handle things one step at a time, and the first order of business was to settle matters with Lady Susana. He needed to end things once and for all before he could move on and claim the woman whom he truly wished to have as a wife.

  Summoning the carriage, Simon found that Rutledge was as forlorn as ever.

  “There must be something that I can do.”

  “Calm yourself, Rutledge. All shall be well.”

  “But please understand, I always need something to do. When there is nothing for me to attend to, I feel like an empty man.”

  “You are a fine fellow,” Simon said, placing his large hand upon Rutledge’s shoulder to calm him. “Whether you have affairs to attend to or no.”

  “I shall still see to tonight’s supper. It will be served at the customary time,” Rutledge assured him.

  “I thank you for that.”

  “And I’ll make it a fine dinner, in hopes that Kingsley will return.”

  “That is what I hope, as well,” Simon replied, knowing that there was no chance of Kingsley returning that night.

  Exiting out the door and hoisting himself up into the carriage, Simon sat on the bench and looked out the window as he departed. Lady Susana’s country estate was not far off. It was what made it possible for them to have their secret meetings when Simon was still fond of her. But truly, all of that fondness was gone after Emilia came into his life. She was like the sun, blinding him from ever seeing another woman in quite the same way.

  As the coach pulled up to Lady Susana’s estate, Simon was reminded of just how much wealth she was privy to. It was right for her to marry a prince. Simon could not give her the life that she craved, nor did he wish to. In her letter, Lady Susana had stated that she was willing to live a life of poverty if Simon would marry her.

  Those were the exact words that he wished to hear and the very reason why the plan was enacted. But Simon did not wish to live with Lady Susana, whether wealthy or poor. There was only one beloved now.

  Alighting from the carriage, Simon walked up to the grand estate and knocked upon the door, instantly being greeted by the head footman.

  “I crave the audience of Lady Susana,” Simon said with a bow of the head.

  “She has just finished tea,” the footman explained.

  “I can wait here.”

  “No, do come in,” the footman replied, leading Simon to the parlour where he had a seat. There was a fine afternoon fire burning, and Simon stared into it, lost in thought yet again. It was an afternoon that he never expected to have with Lady Susana. Never did he once imagine that he’d be arriving at her estate, telling Lady Susana that he could not possibly love her, no matter how much she tried to convince him. Simon was a changed man; that much was certain.

  When Lady Susana finally entered the parlour, she was as radiant as ever. Her dark beauty was something that Simon used to think of constantly. Following behind her was an older woman whom Simon took to be Lady Susana’s chaperone. As soon as Lady Susana saw him, her eyes lit up with wonder. They were sparkling. It broke Simon’s heart, for he hoped that his presence did not fill Lady Susana with some kind of hope.

  “Simon,” Lady Susana said breathlessly. He stood to greet her as a gentleman should, then watched as Lady Susana seated herself.

  “I thank you for allowing me this time,” Simon said, seating himself yet again.

  “You know that you can have my time whenever you wish.”

  “For that, I thank you,” Simon replied, keeping his tone as measured as possible so that Lady Susana would not get the wrong impression.

  “You did not write to me.”

  “I fear that I did not. I thought that it was best to speak of this matter in person.”

  “That’s very noble of you.”

  “I do not wish to be noble. I wish to be kind.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means that I need to stop this business at once. Not only do I intend to marry my current fiancée, but I need to inform you that any former relations between us cannot continue.”

  “Simon!” Lady Susana protested.

  “Please, listen,” Simon said, not wanting to hear Lady Susana’s protestations. At the same time, Simon truly wished to be kind to the woman. There was a time when he was remarkably fond of her. “Our affections for one another are in the past, and that is where they should remain. I accept your apologies for what you have done, but my reason for coming here is to say in no uncertain terms that what we have shared has concluded.”

  “You were not moved at all by my letter? By my coming to you?”

  “Lady Susana, I would be remiss if I told you that I was.”

  “But I think that you’re lying to yourself.”

  Simon felt that previous anger and frustration well up in him once more. The woman could not be reasoned with. Perhaps that was why he was fond of her previously. Lady Susana had seemed adamant in her love, but Simon was beginning to think that it was really all just a show. There was very little that he gleaned authentic about her anymore.

  “I am not lying to myself,” Simon finally replied after gaining hold of his emotions. “I am more honest with myself than I have ever been in my life. I feel nothing for you, Lady Susana. I will always think that what we shared is a pleasant memory, and nothing more.”

  Simon watched as Lady Susana’s face softened. The desperation was gone, and it was as though she was resolving herself to what Simon had just said. She sighed.

  “Simon,” Lady Susana said, standing to her feet. “May I ask a request?”

  “What is it?” he asked, getting up from his own seat and drawing near to her.

  “May I kiss you? One last time?” Lady Susana asked.

  It was Simon’s turn to heave a deep sigh. He reached out and took Lady Susana’s hand, kissing the back of it. “I’m afraid that this is the best that I can do.”

  “You’re a good man, Simon James. I hope that your fiancée realizes that.”

  “Her name is Emilia. Emilia Spencer.”

  “She is a lucky woman.”

  “I think that you’re going to be happier with your new arrangement, Lady Susana,” Simon replied honestly. “He can take better care of you than I can. That is what you need. Your family, I’m sure, is quite pleased. There is a certain lifestyle that you are accustomed to, and I cannot provide you with that.”

  “I care not for my lifestyle. I care about love. But from what you have said,” Lady Susana said, gazing down towards the ground. “I am not the object of your affections any longer.”

  “I could never lie to you.”

  “I suppose that is fitting,” Lady Susana went on, looking up once more into his eyes. “The way that I treated you was terrible. I can see that now. This is my punishment, and I know that I do deserve it.”

  “You do not deserve any kind of punishment,” Simon assured her. It was the first time that Simon actually felt tenderness for Lady Susana. In her grief, she had finally humanized herself before his very eyes. Previously, all of his feelings towards her were fiery and impulsive, but seeing her now, he could tell that, deep down, she was a lady with a heart like anyone’s. Lady Susana had merely made some bad decisions.

  “You don’t have to say that.”

  “I mean it.”

  Simon stepped back, not wanting Lady Susana to feel any false
sense of intimacy in his presence. “Will you please stay for tea?” Lady Susana asked, hope filling her. Simon sensed that she was trying once more to keep him around, and that was something that he could not abide by.

  “I fear not,” he replied. “There is much to be done.”

  “I think that you will make a fine husband, you know? I said before that you’re a fine gentleman, but you’re also a man of tremendous substance. I regret not seeing that before.”

  “Sometimes we do become blinded to things.”

  “I have thought about it a great deal,” Lady Susana went on. “Part of me thinks that I was always running from you because you loved me so. As soon as that love was taken away, that’s when I had room to love, as well.”

  “That’s often how it works,” Simon replied. Although there was wisdom in Lady Susana’s words, Simon had to admit to himself that he was never in love with Lady Susana. Perhaps it was merely boyish longing. Since Emilia came into his life, Simon finally knew the nature of true love.

  “When I left you,” Lady Susana went on, “I must admit that I was not ignorant to what I was doing. I was choosing social standing before love. It was what I thought I wanted. And now, I fear that I will have to live with that decision for the rest of my life! Funny to think that one bad decision can create a prison for one’s self.”

  “There is a chance that you will be happy.”

  “I do not think so. My fiancé is a wealthy man, but I have no knowledge of his character. From what I can tell, he’s quite dull!” Lady Susana said humorously, and both she and Simon shared a laugh.

  “You may need to draw him out,” Simon said. “Some men put up a great wall.”

  “What if I tear down the wall and nothing is there?”

  “Then I suppose you’ll have to find another way to be happy in life.”

  “I suppose,” Lady Susana said softly, and Simon could see the anguish upon her face yet again. Yes, Lady Susana was deeply made sad by her decision. Even though she had hurt him greatly, Simon still didn’t wish Lady Susana to live in sadness. Even though she had been cruel, for the rest of his days, Lady Susana would be no enemy to Simon.

  It was the kind of man that he had become over time. He did not hold grudges, nor did he wish to excite conflict in his life. The more mature he became, the more that Simon realized that the simple things were what he wanted. If he could paint, take Emilia as his wife, and enjoy long, contented days, then Simon would feel complete.

  “I think you will be happier than you anticipate,” Simon said, preparing to leave. “Give the fellow a chance, and he may surprise you.”

  “I hope that what you say is true,” Lady Susana replied.

  “Now, if you’ll excuse me. I must take my leave.”

  “Are you quite sure about the tea? There really is plenty, and I know that my family would be overjoyed to have you.”

  Simon could tell that it was Lady Susana’s last effort to hold onto him, but Simon would not let her do so.

  “I’m afraid that there is somewhere I must go,” Simon replied, nodding his head and leaving the room.

  Simon did not wish to cause harm, but he knew that in his wake, Lady Susana would feel bereft and perhaps shed a tear. One would think that the deliciousness of his revenge would be palpable then, but Simon didn’t feel that way. All that he wanted was to clean up the mess that the plan had put into motion. He knew exactly where he had to go next to accomplish that.

  Chapter 24

  Emilia was seated in the parlour with Rose, both staring out the window and forlorn.

  “There’s something that I must tell you,” Emilia said.

  “You know that you can tell me everything,” Rose replied.

  “My engagement to Simon was a falsity. It was all lies,” Emilia said softly, not wishing to tell her sister the truth but knowing that it must be done.

  “But why?” Rose asked, her eyes going wide.

  “Because I was trying to escape the courtship of Lord Pendergast,” Emilia continued to explain. “The man is a brute, as you know, and I arrived at Simon’s door wanting to secure an apprenticeship with Kingsley. I thought that was the only way to escape. But then, Simon came up with this remarkable plan. As you can see, it’s gone horribly wrong.”

  “Oh, Emilia!” Rose said sympathetically.

  “It’s true. Now, I have received a letter from the Duke of Westmoreland explaining that he wishes to court me once more. Of course, this is rather good for you, but not for me. He knows of some lies upon Kingsley’s part, and he’s willing to expose those lies if I do not marry him.”

  “Oh, Emmie,” Rose went on, “why is it that so many interesting things happen to you?” she asked sadly.

  “I assure you there’s nothing to be jealous of. If Lord Pendergast exposes these lies, then Kingsley’s reputation would be ruined forever, and Simon’s.”

  “You’re truly in love with Simon, aren’t you? Even if it was all lies.”

  “Yes, I fear that I am very much in love with him,” Emilia said, gazing out the window once more. “Our love has become . . . intimate.”

  “Emilia!” Rose protested. “Why have you not told me everything?”

  “Because you’re too young to hear of such matters. And besides, with my honour lost, I do not know what the future holds.”

  “But you must marry Simon. There is no other choice.”

  “I cannot, Rose,” Emilia said thoughtfully. “If I do so, not only will Lord Pendergast ruin their lives, but I have a feeling that he is going to try and ruin your life, as well. I cannot sit by and watch that happen. No, I must marry him because everything is then solved.”

  “But what of your own happiness?”

  Sadness filled Emilia as she considered her sister’s question. Yes, her happiness would be lost, and her hope. The magical night that she and Simon had shared had only proved to Emilia that there was no other man on earth for her. Simon was her everything. Memories of their lovemaking still coursed throughout her entire body.

  She could still feel him, smell him, and see him clearly. When she had snuck out early in the morning, Emilia had looked down to where he was still lying in the bed, and a remarkable sensation of tenderness came over her. She wished to remain in that bed with him, but the notion was impossible. Emilia needed to return to her life and sort out what she was going to do next.

  “We need to come up with a plan,” Rose said.

  “Trust me, sister, I am done with plans. They never turn out as one expects.”

  “But there must be a way! We can expose Lord Pendergast for what he’s done.”

  “The man is too powerful. No matter what we do, he will prevail. It’s just that simple.”

  “Oh, Emmie, show some gumption,” Rose protested. “You can never succeed if you don’t try.”

  Emilia smiled to herself. Leave it to Rose to be so intrepid and courageous in the face of such personal disaster. Yet still, Emilia had to consider the fact that there was truly no way of escaping her fate.