Love and Decay, Volume One

by Rachel Higginson

  The Feeders loped after us, hunting us in a pack. Their horde consisted of five of them; all marked with a green piece of cloth- a color we had yet to see. I knew that it meant we had entered a new territory. I couldn’t afford to feel hope. Whoever ran these lands would be as ruthless as Diego and Matthias.

  Or worse.

  I wondered if there was a point to trying to outrun these killers. We had no weapons. We had no hope of survival beyond today. What was the point to fighting the inevitable?

  Except, I could not shut off my survival instinct. This habit of defying odds and doing anything that it took to keep breathing would not let me give anything less than a superhuman effort to keep breathing.

  “Look!” Hendrix pointed at his family who had ducked into the shadow of some tall bluffs. “Cover.”

  Sure enough, the cliffs stretched on and on. Maybe we could lose them there?

  Where had they come from? Or did Zombies roam the Mexican desert like they had back home?

  I pushed through the fatigue and ran harder, as fast as I could. Hendrix stayed with me even though I could feel him holding back. For me.

  For my sake.

  One of the Feeders let out a high-pitched squeal that I was sure was meant to signal others. More would come.

  Would the short bluffs really be able to offer us safety? Or would they trap us with Zombie scavengers?

  We crested a short hill and came to the base of the cliffs. The rest of our group was nowhere to be seen, but I could hear the Feeders quickly approaching behind us.

  “Where did they go?” Hendrix bit out.

  I shook my head. I had no idea and not enough energy to use words.

  Vaughan’s whistle pierced the air. We glanced around for them desperately but they seemed to have disappeared into thin air. They had vanished.

  Hendrix’s hand landed on the small of my back and he pushed me back into action. “There!” He pointed to a small crevice at the base of the cliffs.

  It wasn’t much, but hopefully we could keep the Feeders out until Vaughan reappeared with a plan.

  We raced to the rock face and turned sideways to slide in. I went first and Hendrix blocked me with his body. He wiggled and shifted until he managed to take his boot off with one hand. The narrow space pressed in on us, giving us no extra room. I braced my hands against the jagged surface in front of me and felt the heavy pressure from the wall behind me dig into the back. I turned toward the entrance and ignored the cutting rocks pressing against my skull.

  The Zombies couldn’t attack us all at once in here. And maybe the space would be tight enough that they wouldn’t be able to figure out how to get to us. That was probably wishful thinking, but it was all that I had right now.

  Hendrix held up his boot. It was our only weapon.

  The Zombies howled and screeched, pawing at the dirt like rabid bulls. But they did not walk beneath the shadows of the rocks. They stayed in the sunlight, pacing the edge of some invisible dividing line.

  “What are they doing?” I whispered frantically. “Why aren’t they attacking us?”

  “I don’t know.” Hendrix’s body vibrated with adrenaline. His heat pushed back against me like a wall of power.

  I was safe.

  I was always safe with him.

  Another Feeder tipped his head back to the sky and released a maniacal shriek. The others whinnied with him, creating a cacophony of dangerous threats.

  Hendrix edged toward the opening of our safe zone. He hopped in place until his shoe was back in place and then looked back at me. “Stay here.”

  “No.” I wiggled toward the wider opening.

  “Reagan,” he growled. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

  “What if they’re waiting for you? What if this is a trick. The second you step out of this place they will attack and I won’t be able to save you.”

  “I don’t want you to save me.” The darkness hid the exact color of his eyes, but I knew it by heart. I had it memorized for moments like this. “If they attack me, push back as far as you can. Vaughan will figure out a way to save you.”

  “Hendrix, no!” I grabbed his hand, refusing to let go. “Wait it out. They’ll move on eventually.”

  His lips twitched into a smirk. “I want to test a theory.”

  I squeezed his hand tighter. “Please don’t go.”

  He had more room to move around than I did. From where he stood his shoulders could fill the width of the crevice. I was pushed too far back.

  Still, it surprised me when he turned to face me and brought my hand to his mouth to kiss my knuckles. “Don’t do anything stupid, Reagan. Haley needs you.”

  My hand fell away when he dropped it. I whispered, “No!” just as he burst from the crevice like a bullet from a gun.

  I hoped he would stay in my sight. I hoped that he wanted to step out of our little hidey-hole for a second before jumping right back in.

  He apparently didn’t care about any of my hopes and dreams.

  He left me alone and took off sprinting to the right of our crevice. The Feeders released a cacophony of hungry, needy sounds. Their guttural screeches filled the afternoon air promising pain and death.

  My breaths echoed off the gritty walls, amplified by the tight space. My heart thrashed violently, threatening to rip out of the prison of my chest. My mind swam with the possibilities of what could be happening out there, but my quick, cluttered thoughts made no sense of any of them.

  Was this a territorial boundary that they had been trained not to cross? Why wouldn’t they step inside the shadow?

  I could only see two of them from where I hid. They pranced around in the sunlight like bloodthirsty hounds. They whipped their faces around, sniffing the air and tasting the dry breeze with their black tongues.

  I could smell their rotting flesh from here. It stung my nostrils and mingled with my own scent of sweat and dirt.

  I edged toward the opening, anxious to see if anything had happened to Hendrix. I hadn’t heard him cry out or kill anything yet.

  Still, I imagined him being eaten a thousand different ways. His nonexistent screams filled my ears and visions of him dying flashed in my mind’s eye. I had to see if he needed help.

  It didn’t matter if I didn’t have a weapon or a way to save him, I would do whatever it took to keep him alive.

  I poked my fingers out first and wrapped them around the rock. I took a few calming breaths and popped my head out to find Hendrix.

  The moment I did that I let out a startled scream at the top of my lungs that sent the Feeders nearby into a frenzied bloodlust.

  “You okay?” Hendrix asked. He put one hand on my shoulder and stared at me intensely.

  “You scared the hell out of me!” I glared at him. I hadn’t expected him to be so close.

  “Me? Reagan, there is a horde of Zombies fifty feet away.”

  I slapped his chest. “I thought you were dead!”

  A slow grin appeared on his smug face. “Sorry to disappoint you.”

  I huffed impatiently, “What did you find out?”

  “They’re this way. Come on.” He turned around and started walking casually along the cliff wall.

  I glanced back at the Feeders that paced along the edge of the shadows. They whipped around, clawing at air and dirt. Puss dripped from their open mouths and their red eyes promised pain.

  So much pain.

  But they did not come after us.

  Uncertainty began to gnaw at my insides. It was easier to know what to expect from them than not know. It was great they weren’t trying to eat our brains, but I didn’t like that I couldn’t understand their behavior. I wanted to know my enemy. “What’s with them?”

  Hendrix glanced over his shoulder at me, “Makes you wonder what they’re afraid of, doesn’t it?”

  “Yes.”

  He walked with purpose, leading me to a destination he didn’t care to explain. It didn’t matter. Wherever Hendrix went, I would follow.


  That was a hard lesson I had to learn… but it should be said… I learned it.

  “They’re in here,” he explained.

  “In where?” But then I saw it. I saw a door that was built right into the rock wall. Well, it was more of a half-door, like a mineshaft made for dwarfs.

  Hendrix pulled the rickety wooden door back and bent nearly in half to squeeze through. A feeling like sludge and warning dripped through my veins, but I followed him anyway.

  The Feeders let out screams that could have been warnings if I didn’t know any better. We obviously ignored them. It was either go in or deal with them without weapons.

  Through the door was a tunnel that gradually spread out into enough space for us to stand upright again. The walls were braced with wooden supports. Old light bulbs hung from the ceiling with a very rough electrical system connecting them. The lights were not on for obvious reasons.

  I followed Hendrix as he walked deeper into the tunnel. The air cooled significantly and soon shivers danced over my skin. I pressed closer to Hendrix and hoped to quiet my hectic nerves.

  “This doesn’t feel right,” I whispered, my words cutting through the stillness.

  “Vaughan and everyone are back this way. We’re just going to wait out the Feeders. Then we’ll leave.”

  “Okay.”

  After another minute of walking in silence, the tunnel forked. He took the tunnel to the right. I realized then that we’d been able to see as we walked through what should have been complete darkness.

  I saw the blue light in the distance and all of my friends crowded around it. A couple domed LED lights, the kind you stepped on and they clicked on, sat on the ground. Before there were Zombies, this kind of product would sit at the endcaps of Walmart aisles and proclaim, “As seen on TV.” These particular ones were a little more high tech than those though, but they operated in much the same way.

  “Where are we?” my whispered voice seemed to shout in the stillness.

  “Somewhere safe?” Tyler offered.

  Harrison snorted, “There’s no such thing.”

  Adela muttered something in Spanish that seemed to be her opinion on the matter. I had no idea what she said, but I agreed with Harrison.

  I had been such an idiot to think that Mexico would be safer than the Colony. No, safer than America.

  I refused to think of my old country as the newly united regime Matthias had built through blood, more blood and a hell of a lot more blood.

  He would not destroy the entire country. This was a momentary setback. Americans would rally again. They would unite once again under freedom, liberty and justice for all.

  I looked down the dark tunnel and felt an annoying nudge of symbolism. Shut up, Mexican mineshaft.

  I sunk down to the floor and crossed my legs. “What’s the plan?”

  Vaughan sighed and leaned into the light so I could see him clearly, “Wait out the Feeders. Maybe try again in the morning.”

  “There are just going to be more Feeders,” King pointed out. “And I’ve never seen them give up before. They’ll wait for us.”

  “I’m not taking Haley back out there,” Nelson bit out. “The run across the goddamn desert was bad enough. She can’t do that again.”

  Adela made more muttering sounds again. This time I clearly picked up the word bebe. Did she speak English after all? That little liar…

  “I guess we’ll just live here then,” Hendrix growled. “That seems like a great plan, Nelson. I’m sure this cave is full of food and clean water. We’ll just have to find it first.”

  I reached up and tugged on Hendrix’s hand until he relented and sat down next to me. He glared at me in the bluish light. I ignored him.

  “Listen, since you cannot possibly pull your head out of your ass long enough to care about anyone besides yourself, let me just explain how pregnancy works. Haley can’t run through a desert. She shouldn’t even be walking through one right now. We’ve gotten lucky, Hendrix. We’ve gotten lucky so many goddamn times that we’re also getting careless. And maybe that’s fine for you, but I can’t afford to get careless. I’ve got too many things I care about. Too many people I love and want to live. We’ve got to figure this shit out or one of us is going to die. Do you get that? Do you understand what’s at stake here?” Nelson sounded livid. Haley tugged on his arm, but he ignored her.

  I hugged my knees to my chest and breathed through the sick feeling in my stomach. I hated the tension thickening the air, threatening to choke me. I hated that stress had caused us to turn on each other. But seriously, we couldn’t take anymore.

  Hopelessness and despair had become our reality, our world.

  All that was left for us were desperate circumstances and unwanted outcomes.

  God, I hated Zombies.

  Hendrix leaned forward, his voice pitching low, “I understand. We all have people we care about. Don’t discount my fears because I don’t have a child in the mix. And don’t for one second believe that your child is not my first priority.”

  Nelson’s gaze darted away from Hendrix and his shoulders relaxed. “Yeah, well, maybe you should act like it then.”

  Hendrix tossed a hand in the air, but also looked away from his brother; this conversation was over. Vaughan didn’t say anything, not one word to smooth things over between his brothers. His back pressed into the dirt wall behind him and his arms lay casually outstretched on bent knees. He watched his hands as if they had some mystical answer that could solve all of these problems.

  I looked at my own hands, hoping for the same revelation.

  Unsurprisingly, it never came.

  A minute ticked by as we relaxed into this new setting. Our senses stayed on high alert, but each of us was beyond exhausted. We had driven all night and walked all morning. We needed to eat and drink. Each of us felt the dizzying bite of fatigue, and yet there was nothing to do about it.

  Hendrix slumped next to me, “This sucks.”

  “Whoa, there. You need to slow down with your optimism. My fragile heart can’t handle your hopeful outlook on life.”

  He shot me an amused look. His lips twisted into a half-smile and his tired eyes danced in the blue light. “I realized something yesterday.”

  “What’s that?” I looked down at my boots and groaned. The toe had a hole wearing through the top. Great. Soon I could add barefoot to my list of Reasons I Might Die Soon.

  It was already a pretty substantial list.

  “I might have been overbearing before, but I had a reason. Reagan, you’re a disaster. Everywhere you go you cause problems.” He shook his head at me, “Major problems.”

  “What are you saying? I give off the Damsel in Distress vibe?” Bitter anger unfurled low in my belly. I was not a Damsel in Distress. I was not helpless. I was not weak. I was not-

  “Hell, no!” he disagreed quickly. “I think it might actually help if that was the vibe you put off. Maybe people would feel like they needed to rescue you then. Instead, you make enemies everywhere we go. It’s unbelievable to me. I’ve never seen anything like it. Everyone wants to kill you. Everyone.”

  I narrowed my eyes and tried not to wince, “Well, not everyone. And besides! You just told me I have a thing that makes people like me.”

  “I’ve had a little more time to reflect. I started thinking about Diego. Reagan, there are a lot of people out there that want to kill you.”

  “Yeah, okay, fine, but you guys don’t want to kill me.” I watched Hendrix’s face for a moment, “Right?”

  He ran a hand over his face, “No, of course not. I just… I don’t know what to do with you.”

  This time I did wince. What does that mean? “Love me anyway?” I tried a joke.

  It fell flat.

  His gaze hit me fast and furious. Too much emotion permeated the moment and too much remained unsaid, zapping at my skin like tiny bolts of lightning. “I’m not going to let them touch you, Reagan. We’ll get through this… somehow.”

  “Why, He
ndrix? Why are you so determined to help me? I’ve been… horrible to you.”

  Some of his intensity softened and he whispered, “I can’t help it. Against my better judgment, I still care about you.”

  “You what?” My heart tripped over itself and I struggled to pull in a full breath. He still cared about me? But how? In what way?

  His attention turned from me, though. I didn’t know if he heard my question or if I’d even made any sound when I asked it. I stared at the back of his head and tried not to fall to pieces.

  “Do you hear that?” he bit out, but his question wasn’t directed to only me.

  The rest of our group fell completely silent and strained to listen. Sounds penetrated the silence first… something dripping, the wooden door at the other end of the tunnel, rattling in a sudden wind, the skittering of dust and rocks as they dropped from the ceiling… and then the unmistakable crunch of gravel underfoot.

  The footsteps moved toward us lightly and carefully. They didn’t sound rushed or frantic, but measured.

  But they didn’t stop.

  Surely, they had heard us talking, even as low as we kept our voices. The lights were on. We had given away our position easily.

  My heart hammered in my chest, my pulse spiked quickly. The familiar frenzy of adrenaline rushed through my blood, bringing me back to awake and kicking my senses to high alert.

  The guys reached around in the dirt for significant sized rocks to defend us with. I should have looked as well, should have scrambled and searched for anything that could keep us safe, but I couldn’t stop listening to those footsteps. Fear and uncertainty had paralyzed me with curiosity.

  What could make such light steps? What would come at us confident enough to not hesitate or stumble?

  An animal maybe? A woman?

  A child.

  A small boy appeared in front of us in the next second and I didn’t have to worry anymore. His dirty face did nothing to hide his big brown eyes. His dust-covered hair was a mop of black curls. His clothes were tattered, but not ruined. He looked well-fed and shockingly adjusted.

  “Hola,” he said in a strong voice.