Forever, For Love

by Becky Lee Weyrich

  “If Nettie is forced to steal occasionally, it’s only to keep the two of them from starving. That’s why I try to help her out when I can. But she refuses charity. She’s very proud. I admire her for that.”

  Jacob realized that Pandora had successfully maneuvered him off the main subject, luring him into talking about the pair of ancient beggars—Nettie and Daniel—who lived in a lean-to down on the docks near the ruins of Jean Laffite’s mansion.

  “Never mind them. It’s you I’m interested in, Pandora. As I was saying, I searched that whole part of town for you. By the time I gave up and returned to your uncle’s, you had called. It seemed obvious that you didn’t want to be found just yet, so I honored your wishes. But, as your fiancé, I think I have a right to know where you were and why you left so suddenly.”

  Pandora stared down at the wide blue and white stripes of her skirt, tracing the distinct pattern with one steady finger. “You deserve to know,” she said quietly. “I only hope you’ll understand when I tell you.”

  The horse had been clopping slowly down Tremont Street toward the Beach Hotel. Architect Nicholas Clayton’s gaudy, four-story fantasy rose before them, all mauve and greenish-gold, its red and white striped dome gleaming in the noon sun. Although Pandora admired all of Mr. Clayton’s other works in Galveston, the Beach Hotel reminded her of something out of the nightmares of a mad Moorish potentate. The massive structure gave her a feeling of foreboding. Still, the Beach Hotel had been the place to lunch ever since it opened ten years before, and was Jacob’s favorite restaurant.

  “Here we are,” Pandora said, excusing herself from further explanations for the moment.

  Minutes later, they joined the chatty throng on one of the hotel’s many wide verandas. Jacob shouldered his way through the crowd to speak with a waiter.

  “We’d like a quiet table for two, please, Zeb, near the windows.”

  The tall black man grinned and nodded. “Yessir, Dr. Saenger, just as soon as I can. May be ’most an hour yet. We got a bunch of folks here today, come out after the rain. Can I bring you and Miss Sherwood something on the veranda while you wait?”

  Jacob nodded. “Whiskey for me and a champagne cocktail, Zeb.”

  Pandora and Jacob settled themselves at a round wicker table. Jacob made sure they were a comfortable distance away from the other luncheon crowd. He wanted privacy.

  “We’ll have time to talk before we go inside,” Jacob said, then waited for Pandora to speak.

  Pandora had been dreading this moment for days; now that it had finally arrived, she felt relieved.

  “You’re right, Jacob, we do have to talk about the other night. First, I’ve changed my mind about your Parisian physician. I want to see him.”

  Jacob smiled for the first time that day. “I’m so glad, Pandora. I’ll make all the arrangements. But what changed your mind?”

  She avoided his searching brown eyes as she answered. “The other night, Jacob. I’ve been very frightened every since. All my life I’ve lived with these visions, this second sight. But it has never scared me this way before.” She clasped her hands nervously. “Oh, Jacob, I’m really afraid I might be losing my mind!”

  “Sh-h-h! I won’t listen to that, Pandora. You are perfectly fine,” he assued her.

  Zeb appeared with their drinks, then slipped away silently.

  “Really,” Jacob continued, “I’m sure there’s nothing seriously wrong with you.”

  She nodded, still unconvinced. “Of course I’m perfectly normal! That’s why you’ve urged me to see Dr. Pinel. Jacob, we both know I have a serious problem. Let’s not try to hide the truth from each other any longer.”

  Jacob paused for a moment, gazing at Pandora. She was such a beautiful woman. This morning the light in her unusual green eyes was shadowed by her troubled expression. He wanted so to chase away her fears. How could he? How would he react if he had to live not only with uncertainties of the present, but with her disturbing visions of the future and the past as well? At best it would be unsettling, at worst terrifying. All he could do to help was listen to Pandora and try to understand and reassure her.

  He leaned closer, speaking slowly, distinctly. “The truth is, my dear, that you are a very gifted woman. Your intelligence is far above the average. You paint, you play the harp and the piano, you can add a column of figures faster than most businessmen, and you can sense things ordinary people can’t. It’s not surprising that sometimes you have difficulty handling it all. Most great men and women in history have been considered a touch strange.”

  Pandora giggled in spite of herself. “Oh, Jacob, I do adore your logic! What you’re telling me is that I am slightly mad, but you are willing to marry me just the same.”

  “I said no such thing!” he protested. “I’m only trying to make you understand, Pandora. Dr. Pinel is no ordinary physician. He deals in problems beyond the physical. These dreams or visions of yours, he’ll know how to interpret them, and how to make them go away, if that’s what you want.”

  “Then lead me to him!” Pandora said emphatically. “I’ve had quite enough of seeing the past and future, thank you! I’d be more than content having to deal only with the present.”

  He looked at her oddly. “Some people would pay a fortune for your powers, Pandora.”

  “How I wish I could sell them this minute!”

  “So, you’re saying that what happened at the party had to do with your aunt’s insistence that you look ahead, to some point after our marriage.” He frowned. He’d been afraid of that the moment he’d heard the guests whispering about what had happened. She must have seen something truly tragic happening, just as she had witnessed her parents’ death in advance. “Can you tell me what you saw, Pandora?”

  She clenched her hands together to stop their trembling, then quickly, before she lost her nerve, she spoke her piece. “There’s nothing to tell, Jacob, because I didn’t see a thing.”

  He frowned, thinking at first that she was refusing to confide in him. Then the real truth struck home. “You mean, you ran away before the vision came?”

  She shook her head fiercely, fighting tears. “I tried. I could not see us together as man and wife.”

  The deep frown creasing Jacob’s forehead belied his comforting words. “That’s nothing to be upset about, dear. Surely you can’t summon these powers of yours anytime you choose. You shouldn’t have let it frighten you.”

  “But it did, Jacob. Don’t you understand?” she cried, even more upset now. “It terrified me! What if I couldn’t see anything because there was nothing to see? No future for us. You know how much I care for you, how much I’ve always cared for you. I depend on you, Jacob. We’re not two people. You and I are like one being. I know what you’re thinking before you say it. I know when you’re happy, when you’re sad. I feel what you feel! Without you, I’d be only half of who I am. Our being together was planned from the beginning of time!”

  Jacob smiled gently at her.

  “Pandora, you have just described love in its purest form. Do you realize we’ve never spoken that word to each other?” When she shied away from his direct gaze, Jacob changed the subject. “You shouldn’t think I would ever let anything or anyone come between us. Of course we’ll be married. We’ll have a grand future together.”

  Before Pandora could respond, Zeb approached and offered a stiff bow. “Dr. Saenger, your table is ready, sir.”

  As they walked into the crowded dining room, Pandora felt the hair on the back of her neck prickle as if someone were staring at her. She glanced about, but there were so many people. She shrugged off the feeling and allowed Jacob to seat her at their table overlooking the beach. She could pick out the exact spot where she’d stood the night of the party. Willing herself not to, but unable to keep from it, she glanced toward the houses standing on stilts at the edge of the sand. Ward Gabriel’s white, frame cottage was the first in her line of vision. Quickly, she turned her eyes aw
ay.

  “What is it, Pandora? You haven’t told me everything about the other night, have you?” Jacob asked suspiciously.

  She looked down at her menu and shook her head. “I’m not sure I can, Jacob.”

  “Pandora, you can tell me anything. You know I’ll do my best to understand.”

  “But will your best be good enough?” she whispered.

  Her words stunned Jacob. What could possibly have happened to her that night? He had to get her to talk about it, to cleanse her own mind… or her conscience, he thought with a flash of dread. During lunch at a crowded restaurant was not the time nor the place for such a discussion.

  “I’m starved,” he said. “Let’s forget all this for now and order. What do you feel like, Pandora? Shrimp? Lobster? Oysters?”

  Pandora laughed a little too gaily. “If you must know the truth, I feel exactly like an oyster today. All rough ugly shell, trying to hide myself from the world. And, I must admit, being an oyster is not a wonderful experience.”

  Jacob cocked one eyebrow, looking almost amused. “Ah, but, my dear, inside that hoary shell you are as smooth and soft as satin. And anyone who searches deeply will find a pearl gleaming where you’ve hidden it away.”

  They did not order oysters, but settled for a salad of Gulf shrimp, nestled pink and pretty on a bed of crisp green lettuce. A cool, tall bottle of imported white wine complemented the feast and put Pandora in a mellow mood. By the time they finished, they were making plans for their wedding the following June.

  Dare he? Ward Gabriel wondered.

  He had spotted Pandora the moment she entered the dining room. How could he miss her? So tall and attractive, wearing that crisp blue and white striped dress that clung so snugly, accentuating every one of the curves he’d become so familiar with while she’d been dressed in nothing but his robe. Her bright hair looked sleek and shiny, not tousled in wild disarray like the other night. The tangled ropes of pearls were gone, replaced by a saucy blue hat that shaded her face just enough to add an extra hint of mystery to the already mysterious young lady.

  God, she was a handsome woman! Above and beyond that, he found his attraction to her ran much deeper. They had always shared the secret of that day at Laffite’s Grove. Now it seemed to him that they shared a far more precious secret. If only he could figure out exactly what it was.

  When she and Saenger came in, Pandora had glanced directly at Ward’s table for a moment. He thought she’d seen him. Then he’d realized that the huge potted palm beside his table hid him from her view. All during lunch, he’d had trouble keeping his mind on his companion—a wrought-iron wholesaler from New Orleans.

  At last he gave up. “Please excuse me for a moment, Mr. Latrelle. There’s someone I must speak to.”

  The balding businessman only nodded as he continued attacking the mound of Gulf delicacies heaped on his plate.

  As Ward approached their table, he heard Pandora’s laughter—like the tinkling of wind chimes in some oriental temple. The way she was gazing at Dr. Saenger made him pause for an instant. Perhaps he had better not disturb them. Before he could turn to leave, Jacob spotted him.

  “Ah, Ward!” Jacob called, motioning for him to come over. “We missed you at Pandora’s birthday party.”

  Pandora turned and stared, the laughter freezing in her throat as the color drained from her face. Ward Gabriel was the last person on earth she wanted to run into today.

  Ward nodded and smiled warmly at Pandora, then offered a congratulatory handshake to Jacob. “You are a lucky man, my friend. Miss Sherwood, I wish you every happiness.”

  Insufferable cad! Pandora thought, refusing to return Ward’s smile. How dare he present himself looking cool and cordial as if nothing had happened that night? She reminded herself, nothing had happened. A simple kiss of gratitude. Nothing else! She was determined to believe that despite the evidence to the contrary.

  While her mind wandered, Ward and Jacob chatted casually about business. She rejoined them mentally just in time to hear Ward say, “Well, I must get back to my guest now.”

  Without thinking, Pandora looked quickly toward the table Ward indicated with a wave of his hand, expecting to see some charming female waiting impatiently for his return. She was relieved when she spotted instead a rather portly gentleman seated there. Ward must have noted her reaction, for he said, smiling directly into her eyes, “A business lunch with one of your uncle’s contacts from New Orleans. I’m afraid Sherwood and Associates leaves me little time to entertain socially during the week. But perhaps the two of you could join me for dinner at my place sometime soon.”

  The mention of his cottage set Pandora trembling. “Thank you, Mr. Gabriel, but I’m sorry. I have a lot to do before I leave for Paris next week,” she answered curtly.

  At that moment, their eyes met. Pandora smelled the driftwood fire, tasted the brandied coffee, and felt Ward’s full, warm lips pressed to hers once more.

  Ward’s dark eyes narrowed and he gave her a queer look—as if he, too, was smelling, tasting, feeling those same things. “Perhaps after your return, then, Miss Sherwood. It will be my pleasure, I assure you.”

  Jacob, sensing the underlying strain between the two, rose and offered his hand. “Well, we’re certainly glad we ran into you, Ward. Aren’t we, Pandora?”

  He looked to her for an answer, but Pandora could only nod. Her face felt frozen. She could not manage even the barest smile. All she could see was that huge bed with a man’s naked body poised over her own. The eyes staring down into hers were not green as she’d thought before, but as black as midnight. As dark and stormy as Ward Gabriel’s eyes, which were even now caressing her face and form with more than casual pleasure.

  “Again, my best to both of you.” Ward gave them a quick bow and strode back to his table.

  “Pandora, what was all that about?” Jacob demanded. “Why, you were so rude to him!”

  “I’m sorry, Jacob. Could we just go? It’s awfully warm and stuffy in here.”

  Pandora felt much better once they were outside and riding along the beach road. She unpinned her hat, took the combs from her hair, and shook her head, letting the freshening sea breeze have its way with her long, bright tresses.

  Jacob looked over at her, his desire swelling to such intensity that it was almost painful. “I love your hair that way.” He caught one flaming curl between his fingers and brought it to his lips. “But, Pandora, I have a request concerning the way you wear your hair at our wedding.”

  “Yes?” She gazed at him intently. Dr. Jacob Saenger had far too much on his mind to concern himself with such trivial matters as ladies’ costumes or their coiffures. “What is it, Jacob?”

  “At our wedding, I’d like you to wear your hair pinned up, the more intricate the style, the better.”

  He turned and gave her such a long, probing gaze that it sent a shiver through her. She’d never seen him like this before.

  “Whatever you say, Jacob.”

  “Aren’t you going to ask me why?”

  “Why?” she asked, hypnotized by the strange look in his eyes.

  He leaned close and whispered, “I want hundreds of those lovely, golden hairpins to remove ever so slowly once we’re alone on our wedding night. I want to take your hair down, strand by strand. I want to feel it slide through my fingers, over my shoulders, down my bare chest.”

  Pandora shifted slightly in her seat, uncomfortable with Jacob’s boldness. What had gotten into him? She wasn’t sure. The change was almost frightening. Jacob was the kindest man she had ever known. Since the first time they met, seven years ago, when he was a shy, awkward teenager and she mere child, he had treated her with formal respect. He rescued her that day, ministering to her badly skinned knee, after she’d tumbled down the rickety stairs at Laffite’s ruined mansion, Maison Rouge. At that first meeting, he had seemed like a white knight out of a fairy tale. She’d been overwhelmed to find out that her “shy pri
nce” was none other than Jacob Saenger, the boy her parents expected her to marry.

  On the rare occasions when Jacob embraced her, Pandora felt utterly safe and protected. True passion was something they had yet to share. They had never discussed their feelings openly. There seemed to be a tacit agreement that any shared intimacy would wait until they were husband and wife.

  Pandora blushed slightly and avoided Jacob’s direct gaze as she whispered, “I’ll have a thousand gold hairpins made to order while I’m in Paris. Just for you… for our wedding night.”

  He stared down at her, his brandy-colored eyes smoldering with a look that unnerved her.

  Pandora remained silent for a long time after that exchange. Jacob, pondering his own fantasies, left her to her thoughts. He couldn’t know that he had stirred up a hornet’s nest inside Pandora’s brain.

  She closed her eyes, willing herself with all her might to witness the scene Jacob had just described.

  Please, dear God, just let me see one hairpin falling to the floor!

  Nothing came; it was no use. No scene of a beautiful wedding, no quiet intimacy in their honeymoon suite. Her heart sank. Something—she had no idea what—was terribly wrong!

  Suddenly, another sort of fear gripped her. What if their wedding night transpired exactly as Jacob planned? After the hairpins were all plucked away, after the kissing and touching and whispering, Jacob would make love to her for the first time. He was a doctor, sure to know if his bride had been bedded before. As hard as she tried to make herself believe that nothing had happened between herself and Ward, the proof seemed too positive. Not only had she suffered the soreness, the blood, but how would she know what it felt like to reach that perfect moment of lovemaking unless she had actually lived through the experience?

  The horse stopped on a lonely stretch of road and Jacob turned to her, ready to hear the rest of Pandora’s tale. The moment she’d been dreading had come.

  But his mind was on other matters. Aroused by his thoughts of their wedding night, Jacob, in a moment of uncharacteristic impulse, leaned down and pressed his mouth hard against Pandora’s. His move surprised her, but she didn’t pull away.