Forever, For Love

by Becky Lee Weyrich

  Ward felt his anger rising. As always, this meeting with Nettie upset Pandora, giving her bad dreams.

  Pandora sensed Ward’s change of mood and reached out to touch his hand. “Nettie mentioned that she hadn’t seen much of me since our marriage. That made me feel guilty. I have been neglecting her. I asked how Daniel was.” Pandora laughed. “You should have heard her, Ward.” Pandora mimicked Nettie’s speech as best she could remember. “‘Damned old fool’s the same as always—ornery, lazy, just plain cussed. It’s just as well, though, that he don’t know nothing about any of this. He’s not real sharp anymore—sort of out to pasture, if you know what I mean. He’ll find out when the time’s right. But there’s no need him worrying about things now.’”

  Ward truly lost his temper now. “What the hell was she babbling about?”

  Pandora frowned. “That’s just what I asked her, only in a kinder tone. I told her I didn’t understand. Nettie just shook her head and told me I’d know soon enough. She said there’s trouble brewing, more than I could guess. ‘Fire and flood and fornication,’ she said. She warned me that this dark-eyed woman would be the cause of it all.”

  “That old woman’s as crazy as hell, Pandora,” Ward insisted hotly. “You know better than to listen to her wild tales.”

  “I tried to tell myself that her words meant nothing, Ward. I turned to leave, to get away from her, but she caught my arm. ‘I ain’t quite finished,’ she told me. ‘The news ain’t all bad. I saved the good for last.’ Then she advised me to make an appointment to see Dr. Saenger.”

  Now Ward’s concern intensified. “Did you see the doctor, darling?”

  “I hadn’t planned on it,” Pandora admitted. “But I have had a few spells of light-headedness lately. So, I went while you were at the office this morning.”

  Ward was sitting up in bed, staring at Pandora, worry lines etching deep patterns in his face. “What’s wrong, Pandora?”

  Noting her husband’s expression, Pandora kissed him quickly and held his face lovingly between her soft palms. “Nothing, darling. Nothing at all. Everything’s perfect now.” She took a deep breath, beaming into his eyes as her own glittered with happy tears. “You’re going to be a father.”

  Ward continued staring at his wife, but now the fierce light in his dark eyes softened. Slowly, a smile spread over his face. He reached out his hand and touched her breast. “A baby,” he whispered. “We’re going to have a baby!”

  Pandora nodded and hugged him. “Oh, Ward, isn’t it wonderful?”

  “A miracle!” he agreed. Then taking her into his arms, he loved his wife tenderly, carefully for a long, long time.

  After Ward fell asleep—the smile still on his face—Pandora lay, wide-eyed, in the dark. She hadn’t had the nerve to tell him the rest—the part about the dark-eyed woman. How could she? He would never understand. She didn’t understand herself. Ward had no patience with her visions from the past. Sometimes she thought he was actually jealous of her memories of Laffite.

  She lay in the great golden bed, next to her sleeping husband, and let her mind relive what she’d seen the night of her visit with Nettie. The memory still sent chills through her.

  She’d awakened with a start sometime later that night, so she knew what she saw was not a dream, but a vision from her far past. It all began innocently enough. Nicolette was in the kitchen of Maison Rouge, little Jeannette playing at her feet as she prepared one of Jean’s favorite dishes to surprise him—wild strawberry pie.

  The day was warm and fine. Summer had settled over the island, but the scorching days of July had yet to inflict Campeachy’s inhabitants with its mid-season torpor. No fierce West Indian storms threatened to sweep over the island before the hot months melted into fall.

  The pie looked crisp and brown with sugary perfection. Nicolette lifted it from the oven with a thick cloth to keep from burning herself. Carefully, she set it on the table.

  “There,” she said to Jeannette. “Won’t your papa be pleased?”

  Little Jeannette, sucking her thumb, tugged at her mother’s skirts, wanting to be picked up. Nicolette scooped her daughter into her arms and kissed her. “I have an idea. Let’s go pick a few more berries. I’ll mix them with the cream to go on top.”

  With the baby in one hand and a pail in the other, Nicolette left the house in search of more strawberries. The best patch, she knew, grew near the grove. She headed for the beach with Jeannette.

  By the time Nicolette reached the grove, her face and arms felt hot and tingly from the bright sun. Her bare feet were crusted with warm sand. She felt invigorated from the exercise and fresh air. It was good to be out alone, with only Jeannette for company. For once she had evaded her armed escort.

  As they neared the grove, Jeannette’s pretty face broke into a happy grin. “Papa, Papa, Papa!” she called.

  “Silly baby,” Nicolette chided, “Papa’s on his ship. He won’t be back till suppertime.”

  Only then did Nicolette notice the Pride riding at anchor in the Gulf. She frowned. Jean always brought his ship into the bay on the far side of the island. The only time he’d ever anchored in the Gulf was the night the two of them had spent together in the grove before his departure for Mexico some months ago.

  “Papa! Papa!” Jeannette kept up her singsong chorus.

  “Sh-h-h!” Nicolette cautioned, edging carefully toward the three spreading oaks.

  Suddenly, she froze as she heard a woman’s laughter and then her sigh of pleasure. Hiding behind a high stand of sawgrass, she peered through its sharp blades. She saw two figures in the grove, lying on a blanket in the shade. She stifled a cry, feeling suddenly as if a bullet had pierced her heart. There, beside the dark-haired woman Isabel, lay her own husband, his hands playing over the woman’s bare breasts, his lips searching her willing mouth.

  Nicolette closed her eyes against the painful scene. Pandora watched, sharing Nicolette’s pain. As she stared toward the pair, colors swirled, then reshaped themselves. When the images cleared, Pandora saw not Jean Laffite, but her own husband, Ward, there in the grove. And in his arms lay, not Isabel, but Angelica!

  “Fire and flood and fornication!” Nettie had said. Before the vision faded, Pandora had seen them all. Through hot, dancing colors that seemed to throb with a life all their own, she witnessed flames eating the very beach. A moment later, a huge wave crashed over the island, carrying all in its wake. She felt herself swept along on the storm tide. Through it all, she kept reaching out, crying Ward’s name, begging him to save her… to save their love.

  Finally, the mad fury of her vision faded to shades of gray, black, and silver. The gray of an angry dawn. The black of skeletal hands reaching out to her. The silver of a pulsing cord that seemed to pull her ever closer to the groping, bony fingers.

  The old nightmare was now even more horrible. No matter how hard she fought against it, she could not repress the suspicion that her husband secretly enjoyed Angelica’s flirtation. Her cousin was a beautiful, desirable woman. Ward, after all, was only human—with a man’s weaknesses, a man’s vanities.

  As desperately as Pandora tried to deny her fears, it seemed that history was about to repeat itself. She knew for a fact that Jean Laffite had betrayed his wife with Isabel. Could it be that she was destined to suffer Nicolette’s pain once more when Ward succumbed to Angelica’s charms? It was more than she could bear.

  Pandora tried to go to sleep, but it was no use. She knew she had to tell Ward what was happening to her. She reached out, placing her hand on his arm, hoping the comfort of feeling his warm flesh would be enough to reassure her. She had thought all this was behind her. She had had no troubling visions for some time after their marriage. But now it began again. Somehow, she must share all this with Ward. Trying to cope alone would drive her mad.

  “Ward, are you awake?”

  Still half asleep, he reached out, drawing her near. “What’s wrong, darling? You’re trembling
.”

  “The visions, Ward. I’m having them again. The other night, after my talk with Nettie, I saw the most horrible thing. I’ve tried to tell myself it’s all in my mind. Darling, I’m so afraid.”

  “Pandora, what is it?” Ward was fully awake now, cradling her close.

  “Everything’s all mixed up—you and Jean Laffite, Angelica and the woman named Isabel. I’m so confused, Ward. I’m so afraid of losing you.”

  “Hush now,” he soothed, holding her close and kissing her tear-streaked cheeks. “You couldn’t lose me if you tried. I love you. I’m here to stay. As for the vision, it’s nothing, darling. Women often have bad dreams when they’re expecting.”

  “No, Ward, this wasn’t a dream. I know the difference. This was something that really happened, a long time ago. It happened to me… and it happened to you.” She stared at him, wondering if she dared tell him the whole truth. “Ward, I know you don’t believe any of this, but you were Jean Laffite.”

  Feeling pain and anger twist through his heart, Ward willed himself to remain calm. He forced a soft laugh and cuddled her close. “Yes, so you’ve told me before. You were my wife then and we loved each other and we still do. Darling, try to love me for myself, not because you have this fixation about Laffite.”

  “It isn’t a fixation, Ward, and neither is this thing with Angelica. She’s vicious, Ward! She won’t rest until she’s taken you from me. If Jean Laffite couldn’t resist Isabel, then how can I hope to keep you from Angelica?”

  Ward, wounded and angry, drew away from Pandora. “Do you know how it makes me feel when you talk about him?” His tone was sharp with resentment. “I swear, I’m more jealous of that pirate than I could ever be of any real, flesh and blood man. As for this business with Angelica, I’d think you’d have more faith in me. If you’re jealous of her, think how jealous you make me, always sighing over your damned dead pirate!”

  “Don’t say such things,” Pandora pleaded, reaching out to stroke his cheek. “Please, Ward! You have no reason to be jealous.”

  “I can’t help it. I want you to love me for who I am now!”

  “I do!”

  “Then show me how much.”

  He silenced his wife with a deep, searching kiss. Some of the tension eased from her body. When Ward made love to her, she could think of nothing else. She wanted nothing else.

  As he entered her this time—slowly, careful not to disturb their unborn child—the room filled suddenly with the ringing of bells, the colors swirled, and Pandora knew that she was no longer in her husband’s embrace, but in the arms of Jean Laffite. She stiffened, seeing him again as he held Isabel—or was it Angelica?—there in the grove.

  “I’m sorry,” Jean whispered. “What must I do to gain your forgiveness? I don’t love her. I love you! Only you! It just happened—I can’t explain how or why. I promise you, darling, when we leave Campeachy in a few days, she will remain here. We’ll go to Mexico without her. She’ll never have a chance to threaten our love again. Things will be as they were before.”

  “It’s too late!” the woman in Laffite’s arms answered tonelessly.

  “It’s never too late, not if we love each other,” he insisted. “You still care for me, don’t you?”

  “You know I love you, Jean. More than life itself. But…”

  “No buts,” he commanded.

  His strong hand trailed down her naked body then, and his lips touched her breast. A moment later, as he moved inside her, the hot colors swam in her mind and consumed her whole being.

  Even at that most precious moment, when the heavens parted and she knew the best there was to know, the words still rang in her ears: “Too late! Too late! Too late!”

  A moment later, the vision dissolved. Pandora clung to Ward. He was her husband, her lover, her best friend. And he was right about Jean Laffite. She had to stop thinking about him and about the past. The here and now—her husband and their unborn child—were the things that counted. The past—whatever it had been—was dead and gone and buried. As for Angelica, Pandora would simply have to trust her husband to do the right thing.

  Angelica sat in Jacob’s father’s office, waiting to be called in for her monthly visit. As her father-in-law, she despised the man. As her physician, she had grown accustomed to him over the years. She would not have considered going to any other doctor. This month, she would not have dreamed of canceling her usual appointment.

  Jacob laughed cruelly when she’d announced at breakfast where she would spend her morning.

  “Still thinking you might be pregnant, are you? Well, it will be a miracle child, if you are. It’s been my experience as a physician that immaculate conceptions seldom occur.”

  She had scowled at him, but kept silent. Inwardly, she had been half-relieved, half-disappointed that he didn’t know. Waiting to be called into the examing room, Angelica smiled to herself. What a surprise it would be for Jacob. He’d built a lovely, little potting shed out back, hoping to interest her in gardening. The garden held no fascination for her, but the young gardener from the west end of the island captured her imagination. He could make anything grow—or so Angelica hoped.

  Moments later, Dr. Saenger’s nurse called Angelica in. The examination was blessedly brief, but painfully disappointing.

  Her father-in-law avoided looking her straight in the eye as he broke the news. “I am sorry, Angelica. Not this time. My son is a strong young man. You have nothing to worry about. You must be patient.”

  Angelica bit her lip to keep from laughing out loud. His son, indeed!

  Angelica left then. She was disappointed not to be carrying her lover’s child, but there was still a better way to become a mother. She had no desire to go through the misery of pregnancy and the pain of childbirth. If her plan worked she would not have to.

  It was such a lovely fall day that Angelica decided to drop in at the Gabriels’. Ward seemed to have been avoiding her lately. If she was in luck, he might be at home. If not, she could have a nice heart-to-heart with Pandora—who better to tell that she was about to become a mother. The seed for her gossip needed to be planted very soon since she planned to demand this very evening that Jacob get her a child.

  Pandora spotted Angelica coming up the walk and felt a cold shudder inside. “Why this morning?” she begged of heaven. Her dinner party was set for eight o’clock that evening, and she had left the Saengers off her guest list. Angelica was sure to notice the preparations in progress.

  Motioning to Cassie, Pandora stripped off her apron and said, Let Miss Angelica in and show her to the front parlor. Tell her I’ll be there in a moment.”

  Pandora ran up the back servants’ stairs to warn Ward that they had a visitor. He was working in his upstairs study, totally engrossed in the latest sketches of jewelry designs that had just arrived from Italy.

  “Darling,” she said quietly, “Angelica’s here.”

  Ward ran his fingers through his hair and groaned. “I don’t want to see her.”

  “I know but she’s sure to ask for you. What shall I tell her?”

  He looked at Pandora, his dark eyes blazing. “That I’m damn sick and tired of her silly little games. That I’m a married man who’s perfectly happy with my wife and that she’s making an absolute fool of herself!”

  Pandora went to him and gave his slumped shoulders a quick hug. “I’d love to, darling but perhaps it would be better if I simply told her that we’re about to add to our family.”

  Ward reached up, his face shining now, and pulled her down to receive his kiss. “You’re a wonder, you know that, darling? That could be the perfect solution.”

  Pandora shrugged. “It’s worth a try. Besides, she’s bound to find out soon and it would be better coming from me.

  Moments later, Pandora entered the parlor, still glowing from her husband’s sweet kiss and the reassuring fact that he did not want to see their guest.

  “Angelica, this is a su
rprise.”

  Angelica had sized up the flurry of activity at the house already. Putting two and two together, she’d guessed that Pandora and Ward were having a party and that she was not invited. “Oh, I’ll just bet it is. Obviously, you hadn’t planned to see me today?”

  Thinking quickly, Pandora replied with a straight face, “Well, not until the dinner party tonight. You and Jacob are coming, aren’t you? You never replied to the invitation I sent.”

  “Invitation?” Angelica looked blank. She often misplaced mail these days—especially bills and requests for contributions. “Why, I never received it, Pandora. It must have gone astray. Of course, Jacob and I will come.”

  Caught! It was just as well. Pandora had been feeling guilty ever since she’d decided to leave the Saengers off the guest list. So now she was being punished. It served her right, she told herself. She dreaded telling Ward.

  Cassie came in with a tray of tea and honeyed almond cakes. Pandora poured and settled back, wondering at the reason behind Angelica’s visit.

  “Isn’t Ward home?”

  Pandora smiled.

  “He’s working today.”

  “Oh!” Angelica made no attempt to disguise her disappointment. Then she brightened. “He’ll be here tonight, of course?”

  Pandora nodded. “Of course!”

  “Well, then you and I can just have a nice chat over our tea. How have you been, Pandora? It seems ages since I’ve seen you, although I run into Ward quite often.”

  “Yes,” Pandora answered coolly, “I know all about your frequent meetings. You see, Angelica, my husband tells me everything. We keep no secrets from each other as some married couples do.”

  Angelica let Pandora’s pointed remark slide over her as easily as a raindrop off an oleander leaf. She laughed, then whispered, “You’re a brave one, Pan. Jacob would have me tarred and feathered if I ever dared tell him everything. Sometimes I think the secrets Jacob and I keep from each other are the only things we have in common any longer. Not that there was ever any real bond between us. I should have let you marry him, Pandora. I’ve been meaning to tell you for some time now how sorry I am that I came between you.”