Sophie
“Andy?”
“Sophie? What’s up?”
“I was hoping you could tell me. I still can’t get a hold of James. Is everything okay?”
“I sat him down the other night and told him what’s up. It’s that surgery. It really shook him. But he’s better now. Call him.”
“Thanks, Andy.”
“I really shouldn’t help you. We’ve had more basketball time the past few days than we’ve had in a month. This relationship is really cramping my style, Sophie.”
I laughed. “I know. I appreciate your sacrifice.”
“All in the name of love,” he said with an exaggerated sigh. “Never let it be said I’m not a romantic.”
“No one would ever say that,” I assured him with another laugh.
I peeked through the window of the NICU. James. He was looking so much better than the last time I saw him. My heart jumped in my chest. It had been a week. I had missed him. So much.
He glanced up as I walked through the doors, but his tired smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Hey, stranger.” he greeted me. “What brings you here?”
“I haven’t heard from you for a few days, so I thought I’d stop by to see if you wanted to go for a run and maybe get something to eat after. And I have something I want to discuss with you.” I leaned up to kiss his cheek and was disappointed when his arms stayed at his sides.
I pulled back and looked at him. “You okay?” I asked.
“Of course,” he replied with a tight smile. “Tonight won’t work. I need to finish up some paperwork.”
I took his hand and swung it between us. “I don’t mind sticking around. I’ll grab us some dinner and hang out with you in your office. You can tell me about your day.”
“You’re sweet to offer.” He leaned in as if to kiss my cheek, but pulled back at the last second. “But I...have...plans.”
Plans? “Like with Kaley? She’s been wanting to get together. I’m sure she won’t mind if I tag along.”
“No. It’s not with Kaley. Look, I really need to get back to work.”
“Oh,” I managed. Although, how I got that much out is a mystery. “Um...well, I really need to talk to you. Is there some time in the next couple days we could get together?” Or maybe it was a moot point in light of the fact that my worst fear was being realized.
“I’m pretty booked the rest of the week. Maybe one day next week?”
“Yeah. Okay.” I had to get out before the tears started falling.
He hesitated then grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s been a long day.”
And yet you have plans tonight. And not with me.
“I’d better get going so I can get finished and get out of here.” He squeezed my hand again. “I’ll see you.”
I watched him walk away and felt a twinge in my heart and burning in my eyes. I was losing him and I didn’t know why.
“So what did he say when you told him?” Adri asked. I could hear the excitement in her voice. Too bad it wouldn’t stay that way for long.
“No. Don’t tell me. He got down on his knees and begged you to never leave. He swore he’d love you till the end of time and asked you to marry him.” She sighed happily. “You are going to have beautiful babies.”
“Yeah, about that…” I hedged, “things are a little rocky right now. I haven’t exactly talked to him about it yet.” Not for lack of trying on my part.
“Define rocky 'cause all I’ve heard from you lately is I love James. James is so hot. James is so sweet. And if I hadn’t been sickened by all that, I’d have had plenty of evidence from when I was there. All I saw was goo-goo eyes back and forth between the two of you the whole time.”
“That was you mirroring what was in Andy’s eyes,” I said with a laugh. “Are you two keeping in touch?”
“We are not talking about me right now. We are talking about the blessing in disguise that has fallen into your lap when the building sold out from under you and now you can stay with the best thing that has ever happened to you.”
“Actually, I haven’t even seen much of him for going on two weeks now.”
“What? Why?” I heard the disbelief in her voice.
“He lost a patient. He was supposed to come over later that night, but he called and cancelled. I didn’t hear from him for a few days, but when I finally saw him, he was different. Distant. It’s like all his walls are back up. I thought he just needed time, you know? Maybe I read too much into everything.”
“I’ve been guilty of that myself in a relationship or two.”
After his odd behavior in the hospital the other day, I’d tried to get with him to tell him how I was thinking of staying in Portland, but he always had some excuse. He was babysitting his nephews, visiting his parents, filling in for a doctor, playing pickup games with Andy. How many times had I tried to text him with no response? How many times had my calls rolled over to voicemail? Common courtesy dictated he respond in some way at some point, right? I couldn’t keep chasing him. At what point did I just become a nag? An annoyance? For whatever reason, he wasn’t ready to talk about much of anything. I was beginning to feel like I was getting the brush off. But why?
“Maybe he’s been really busy,” Adri suggested. “Has he even tried to contact you since then?”
“No. I’m hoping he’ll call when he’s ready.
“How long will that take?” She was getting exasperated. “It’s not like you’ll be there forever.”
“Yeah. I don’t know, Adri. I’m not sure what to think anymore.” And then another thought struck me like a punch to the gut and I sucked in a painful breath. “Adri. What if he’s seeing someone else.”
“No way,” she said emphatically. “I’ve seen you two together. He would at least tell you.”
“But what if he is? He said he had ‘plans’.”
“Plans could mean anything. You don’t tell someone you love them and go out with someone else.”
“Then what could it be?”
“How should I know? Am I married yet? No. That should tell you I’m clueless about men.”
“Maybe some time away would be good for both of us. I’ve done all I can do. It’s his move now. I had originally planned to leave soon anyway…” I paused, knowing Adri wouldn’t like what I had to say next. “I’ve made a decision,” I told her. “Call it self-preservation. Whatever. I’ve decided to just go home and see if I can find another space. When my parents get back, I’ll come back here with them and see if there’s anything between James and me still.” If I avoided him as much as possible before I left back to Texas, it would make it less painful in the long run when he decided he didn’t need me and I never saw him again.”
“No, Sophie. Don’t do this. You’re good together. You will regret this. I know you will. Corner him in the hospital and talk to him. Make him listen.”
“I tried that already, remember? No. I’ve already decided,” I sighed. “I’m coming home.”
“No. I won’t let you. You stay and fight. Break down those walls of his. Beat up any other women. He loves you.” Now she was just being ridiculous.
“Does he? I don’t know anymore. And I won’t beg him to let me in. It isn’t meant to be.”
“I’ll never believe that. You are as scared as he is and you are giving up.”
“Sometimes you just have to let it go,” I said with a weary sigh. I was exhausted. This whole thing was exhausting. “I’ll see you soon.”
“No. Sophie-”
But I didn’t hear what else Adri said because I hung up.
I was going home. But going home to what?
“Hey, Kaley. This is Sophie.”
“Sophie, I’m so glad you called. It’s been awhile since we’ve gotten together.”
“I found this great sandwich shop and wondered if you wanted to meet me for lunch today.”
“Yes,” she said quickly. “Where and what time?
I stood
from the table and gave Kaley a hug. “I’ve missed you,” she said. “And I love this place. I’m so glad you called.” She sat in the chair across from me and picked up a menu.
“Have you heard from James lately?” I asked.
“He was just over on Sunday,” she told me. “Why? Did something happen?”
“I was hoping you could tell me. He hasn’t been answering my calls or texts. Ever since that surgery, he’s different.”
“This is James we are talking about. He’s always been different.”
I smiled at her over my menu. “I know, but this is different different. Even for James.” I laid my menu down and crossed my arms on the table in front of me. “I really felt like we were headed in a good direction and then that surgery happened. I haven’t talked to him for almost three weeks now and it’s not for lack of trying. I think he’s avoiding me.”
“Maybe losing that little girl was too much like losing Lexie. Maybe he just needs more time.”
“I thought that too, but...Adri called to tell me that the space I was going to lease for my sports therapy clinic has been sold.” I rubbed my forehead. “I was going to see how James felt about me staying here. You know-”
“Oh, Sophie. That’s great!” she cried. “I think that’s the best idea I’ve heard all day. All week. I knew you would be good for James. I knew-”
I held up a hand to stop her. “That’s the thing. I thought things could go somewhere with James. He’s been so good for me, too.” Perfect. “It seemed like everything was pointing to me staying. Now I wonder if I was just seeing what I wanted to see.
“That’s not true,” Kaley objected. “He told you about Nicole and Lexie, right? He just needs more time. This is only a minor setback. It’s not insurmountable.”
I chewed on my lip for a moment. “Kaley. You can be honest with me. I need you to be honest with me. Is he...is he...seeing someone else?”
Kaley’s eyes grew huge. “Seeing someone else?! Why would you think that?”
I shrugged. “He hasn’t been taking my calls. I went to the hospital and he had excuses. He said he had plans. What else could it be?”
“The botched surgery,” she insisted. “There’s no one else.” She placed a hand on my arm. “Trust me Sophie. You’re the only one he’s gone out with more than once since Nicole.”
“But he has gone out with other women? He said you and Andy have tried to set him up in the past, but he hasn’t dated since Nicole.”
“If he has, I don’t know about it. Believe me. If he told you he loves you, he meant it. He’s not like that.”
“How can you be sure?” I pressed. Then I waved a hand dismissively. “You know what? It doesn’t matter anymore. I’ve decided to go back to Texas.” I paused when my voice broke. “I’ll find another location. Do what I had originally planned to do before I moved here to help Trevor and Stacy.” I let out a long breath.
“What? No.” She put a hand on my arm. “That’s a terrible idea. James just needs more time to come around. I’ll talk to him if you want. You’ll see. He just needs a kick in the rear-- which I am only too happy to deliver-- and then it will all be good again.”
Tears burned at the back of my eyes. “I’m sorry, Kaley, but I’ve decided to go home.”
Chapter 4
James
“Man, tell me I’m just being paranoid,” I said to Andy as I shoved my phone in my pocket and slumped against the couch.
“No, every chick in the city is choosing me over you,” Andy replied with his signature cocky grin as he made his way from the kitchen, his chest puffed out. A perfect target. “Oof.” He held a hand to his chest. He’d been asking for it.
“I swear Kaley is dodging my calls,” I continued.
“Kaley?” Andy asked in disbelief. “Man, Kaley doesn’t let you sneeze without calling you on it.”
“Right? That’s what I’m saying. Something’s off.”
“Talk to her on Sunday at dinner.”
“No invite,” I reminded him.
“When has that stopped us?”
“Us?”
“Well, yeah. You don’t think I’m fending for myself when family drama is brewing, do you?”
“Dinner and a show?” I guessed. He grinned. “I guess I could use some help figuring her out,” I agreed with a sigh. “You know, like a buffer.”
“She can get mean.” Andy winced. Then, “I got you, man.” He opened his arms for a hug and got another punch to the chest. His laughter followed me to my room.
“Let the fun begin,” Andy called as he shoved past me into Kaley’s house the next evening.
“Dude,” I ground out.
“What? I want prime seating for the main event.” He rubbed his hands together in glee.
“Uncle James!” Two sets of little footsteps pounded toward us. “Oh. Hey Andy,” they said in unison, and less enthusiastically.
“What’s this ‘Hey, Andy’ business?” he asked with exaggerated disappointment, almost matching their tone exactly. He lifted them both above his head to carry them into the living room. “Your mom ever give in and get you that xBox I’ve been telling you to beg for?”
I rolled my eyes and shook my head as their voices faded and I made my way to the kitchen.
“Oh. It’s you,” Kaley practically sneered as I entered the kitchen.
I slowed up and kept the table between us at her ‘greeting’. “Which you would know if you were taking my calls,” I accused.
“I can barely stand to talk to you let alone look at you. Why are you here?”
Wow. “Kaley bug. You wound me. What’s with all the anger?”
“You really have to ask? You really don’t know that you broke my friend’s heart, thereby breaking mine, too?”
“Now you’re just being dramatic. No one’s broken.”
“Not yet,” she threatened.
“Come on, Kaley. I haven’t heard from you in a week. That’s not like you. I always thought I’d enjoy the silence, but...” I grinned at the death glare she sent my way. “You know you can’t stay mad at me,” I cajoled.
“Wanna bet?”
“Fine. Tell me what I did. How can I fix anything if you are avoiding me?”
“Kind of like you’ve been avoiding Sophie?”
Ah. I ran a hand through my hair as guilt squeezed my heart. Now I understood the source of her anger. I held up a hand in a placating gesture. “I told Sophie I needed some time after I lost that patient. She knows that.”
“Does she know that?” Kaley asked pointedly. “Because the way I heard it, she’s on the next plane back to Texas as fast as her cowgirl boots can take her.”
“She’s flying, not driving?” Great. That meant she’d be coming back for her stuff. Good thing Portland was so big. We’d never run into each other. Even if she visited Kaley, I could make sure I wasn’t there.
“No, you idiot. It was just a figure of speech. She’s packing up all her stuff and getting the heck out of here. You broke her heart. Not to mention that she’s upset about the office space.”
“What about the office space? What office space?” I asked.
“The guy she was going to lease it from, sold it out from under her. She hadn’t signed anything yet. It was just a verbal agreement. She doesn’t have a spot for her clinic now.”
I leaned against the table and folded my arms. “I didn’t know,” I said quietly.
“Well, you would if you hadn’t been avoiding her. She’s lost everything. She told me she was going to mention it to you and that she had been thinking about staying.”
“What? No!” I exclaimed. “I mean. That might be cool.” If she stayed, I was sure to run into her. Portland isn’t that big; especially with her and Kaley being BFF’s. And I couldn’t pretend to date around forever. Kaley would get suspicious.
“Cool?” Her eyes narrowed and she studied me. “Kind of a flippant attitude for someone who was declaring his love not even a month ago.”
My eyebrows rose in surprise. “How did you…” But my question died on my lips when her mouth turned down.
“Besides, she’s not thinking that anymore.” Then she watched me for a time before asking, “What’s the matter with you, James?”
“Here’s the truth. I thought I could open up to her. See where it went. And I really tried. I fell for her.”
“Oh, James,” she gushed. “I knew she was the one for you. What have you been doing, then, putting her through so much?” She attempted to hit me on the shoulder with the gravy ladle she was wielding like a weapon.
“But,” I held up my hand and she rolled her eyes and huffed. Then the surgery went bad and I freaked. “She said from the beginning she wasn’t staying long. I can’t keep her from her dream of opening a sports clinic. It’s been fun while it lasted, but she’ll go back to Texas and I’ll stay here and do what I did before she came.”
“What? Nothing?” she snorted.
“Ha, ha,” I said. “No. Save babies lives- like her nephew. She was a great summer fling. That’s all.”
“A summer fling?” Kaley said in disbelief. “She was right. There’s someone else. I can’t believe it. Wait. When have you ever had a summer fling?”
“Well...never,” I admitted. “But she doesn’t know that. She can be the first.”
She gave another snort, this one sarcastic. “What an honor. And you take all your hypothetical summer flings home to meet Mom and Dad? You tell them all you love them?” She shook her head, not waiting for an answer. “No, James. This wasn’t just some summer fling. She’s too nice of a person to not be totally honest.”
It’s either that or admit what a coward I am. “I’ll tell her that she honestly was the best summer I’ve had.”
I almost retracted my callous statement when I saw the disappointment shining in her eyes in the form of tears. “I expected more from you, James.” She stared at the floor, wounded. “This isn’t you.”
“How would you know, Kaley? You weren’t around when I was married. You had your own family. You haven’t seen me in relationships. You don’t know if this is me or not.”
The Heart of the Matter Page 4