Loving Lauren

by Jill Sanders

  Chapter One

  Ten years later...

  Alex held her breath as her father's coffin was lowered into the ground. Her world was shattered, again. Looking over to Haley, she wondered what would happen to the three of them. After all, Haley was only fourteen. She reached over and grabbed Lauren's hand in her own, then held onto Haley's.

  The three of them stood and watched as their father's coffin sank lower into the red dirt at the church's cemetery, in the plot next to their mother's.

  Lauren's eyes closed for just a second until her sister dropped her hand and walked over to place a white rose into the hole. It landed softly on the coffin. Lauren turned and nodded to her, then she followed. As she dropped her rose, she stood and said her goodbyes to the man who had done his best to raise the three girls alone and make them happy.

  When she turned, Haley walked up and stood next to the hole. Alex couldn't stand it anymore. She turned and walked quickly towards a group of trees. Even though it was spring, the heat was almost too much for her to bear. Here in the shade she could feel the breeze, and she felt like she could finally breathe.

  Leaning against the trunk of a large oak tree, she closed her eyes and focused on taking slow breaths. She'd been staying at Cheryl Lynn’s house the night that Lauren had found their father on the floor of his room. She should have stayed home that weekend. If she had only stayed…

  “Hey.” She looked up into Grant's deep blue eyes. He looked pretty much the same as he always had, but his sandy hair was a little longer and he'd gotten new glasses. The wire rims suited his face a little better. He had a slight case of acne on his round face, but his clothes were still spotless.

  “Hey.” She continued to lean against the tree, crossing her arms over her chest. She started to feel cold and wished for the warmth of the sun again.

  “I'm sorry about your dad.” He looked down at his shiny boots and kicked a pebble. Grant's father and her father had been best friends since childhood. Even their mothers had been friends, since they'd all grown up in the small town. “I sure hope you don't have to sell your ranch or anything.”

  Her shoulders came off the tree and she looked at him. “Why would we?” She frowned.

  He looked up from his boot and stared at her. “I don't know, I just overheard my pa talking about some money problems your pa had and how Lauren wasn't old enough to take care of you and your sister and a run a ranch at the same time.” He raised then dropped his shoulders.

  “She's not all by herself. She has Haley and me.” She took a step closer to him.

  “Well, I hope you're right. I'm leaving at the end of this year. I was accepted into Harvard.” He smiled real big.

  Her chin dropped and she said, “We're only seventeen.”

  “I know. I finished all my credits for high school over the summer and my dad and I sent in applications. Can you believe it?” He stuck his hands into his pant pockets.

  “You're only seventeen,” she repeated.

  “Are you gonna miss me?” It came out as a whisper, and Alex didn’t hear it. Her mind was stuck on the fact that she was seventeen and now both her parents were gone and she was facing the possibility of losing the only home she'd ever known.

  Then she looked over her shoulder and frowned a little. She saw that Grant’s father and Mr. Graham, her father's other best friend, were talking to Lauren next to their truck.

  Walking away without saying goodbye, she rushed over to where Haley stood next to her friends and grabbed her hand. “We need to go.”

  Haley nodded and followed her. They walked up to their sister together.

  “We're ready to go home.” Alex glared at Mr. Graham and Mr. Holton, who quickly turned their eyes to the ground. Chase, Mr. Graham’s son, was standing next to them. He smiled slightly and nodded his head, then the girls left.

  The drive home was quiet. Alex wanted to ask her sister what her plans were, but knew it wasn't the right time. Lauren was a week shy of her nineteenth birthday. She was old enough to legally take care of Alex and Haley, that much she knew. She didn't know anything about the money problems their father was having, or even if the ranch had been left to Lauren. Lauren would know all that. After all, for the last few years, Lauren had been helping their father out with the big place.

  When the truck turned into their long driveway, Alex looked at their three-story house in the distance. The once freshly painted white building could stand a new coat. The roof had just been replaced a few years back. Alex knew the old place had its problems, but she wouldn't have traded it for any other house in the county.

  “Lauren?” She looked at her sister as she parked the truck, wanting to ask so many questions. Just then, Haley pushed out of the truck and raced towards the barn.

  Lauren looked at her and smiled. “I'll get her.” Lauren left Alex alone in the truck as she raced after their little sister.

  Alex's eyes watered. This was really happening. They were going to lose the ranch. Most likely, they would be split up too. Where were they going to live? What was going to happen to them?

  Alex rushed into the house and slowly walked around the place. She was trying to memorize every small detail—all the furnishings, the look and the smell of the place. She ended up in their father's room and when she sat on his bed, she began to softly cry.

  It was just like when their mother had died. If she hadn't stopped to grab the cookies, Haley wouldn't have snuck out and run upstairs. Then their mother wouldn't have gone and gotten her. They would have all made it to the shelter in time. Instead, the three girls had had to watch in horror as the tornado ripped their mother into the darkness and out of their lives forever.

  If she would have just stayed home this last weekend, their father would still be alive. It was all her fault. Dropping to his bed, she inhaled his rich musky scent and cried until her heart and head hurt. She must have fallen asleep, because when she woke up, it was dark outside the window.

  Standing up, she went into her own room and changed into her jeans and work shirt. She knew the horses needed feeding and it had been her job for the last few years. When she walked out to the barn, she saw that the task had already been done. Her shoulders slumped and she sat down in the soft hay, feeling like she'd let her family down again. She made a pact right then and there that she would never let her sisters down again.

  Over the course of the next few months, it became apparent that Lauren had everything under control around the ranch. Her sister had even taken over her and Haley's chores, telling them both that they needed to focus on their studies instead.

  Lauren had driven Alex down to get her driver’s license, and had given her the old red Honda to drive her and Haley to school every day. She didn't mind driving them around all the time, since she knew Lauren was busy. They had sat down the next week and Lauren had told them that all the bills were paid and that no one was going to take the ranch away. Even better, she had signed the official paperwork with Mr. Graham that stated that she had full custody of Alex and Haley. Lauren was their legal guardian. No one was going to separate the three of them, ever.

  Alex relaxed into a schedule, knowing that her sister would take care of whatever popped up around the ranch. After a few months, guilt settled in when she noticed how much her sister actually did around the place, and she started doing things without being told to. She asked Jamella down at Mama's for a part-time job and picked up as many hours as she could, just to pay for her gas. But she started making extra money and would always leave it in Lauren's office for her. Her sister never mentioned it, so she continued to give her half of her weekly paycheck. Even Haley picked up on what was going on and started helping out with the animals more and more.

  But then just a year later, Alex started dating Travis, and her life had a new purpose—to do everything she could to become Mrs. Travis Nolan.

  ------------

  Almost Eight years later…

  Alex stood in the dark parking lot
, feeling like kicking something or someone. How could he do this to her again? She looked around the almost-empty lot and felt like screaming.

  Instead, she tossed the beer bottle she was holding and smiled when the glass shattered all over his blue truck. The engagement ring on her left finger sparkled in the parking lot's dim lighting. She felt like ripping it off her finger and throwing it as well, but stopped herself before she could follow through. It was her birthday and Travis had gotten so drunk. He was now passed out behind the wheel of his precious truck again. Even the shattering of her beer bottle over his windshield had done little to wake him.

  Over the last few months, she'd told herself she was going to really evaluate their relationship. She’d made the decision after Lauren and Chase had sprung it on everyone that they had gotten married the day after their father's funeral. Lauren had married him out of desperation to get out from under a crushing debt, but now they were completely happy about it. Chase had moved into the house and they acted like newlyweds, which she supposed they were since Chase had been gone for the last seven years.

  She walked up to Travis' truck and looked at him through his open window. He was still as handsome as the day she'd fallen for him. He had the classic rugged cowboy look that she'd always swooned over. Even the cleft in his chin melted her heart. But lately, his actions were speaking more loudly to her, and she was falling farther and farther away from that soft gooey feeling he had always invoked in her.

  She turned and leaned on the truck, crossing her arms over her chest. The steamy, summer night air caused her white blouse to stick to her skin and she desperately wished for a shower. Her hair was plastered to her neck and face, since she and her friends had spent the last few hours line dancing at The Rusty Rail, the local bar and dance hall. Everyone had come out to celebrate her birthday. A stack of her presents filled the back of Travis' truck. She smiled when she looked back at the packages. Travis had promised her that he wouldn't drink too much tonight, since she hated it when he got so drunk that he started getting rude. He’d never raised a finger towards her, but he did get a little mean with his words and, a few times, she'd had to walk to her friend’s house and spend the night instead of letting him drive her home.

  “Hey, baby.” She turned to see him smiling at her. “Happy birthday.” He looked at her funny, then leaned through the window and puked on her white boots.

  “Travis!” She jumped back just in time to only get a little splatter.

  “Oh, I'm sorry, baby.” He started to get out of the truck.

  “You're sorry? You've ruined my whole night. You were too busy drinking and hanging out with your buddies to even dance with me.” She stepped away from him when he tried to reach over and pull her close. “You forgot to bring my present and, to be honest, I don't think you remembered to get one in the first place.”

  “I did, honest. It's at my dad's place.” She could see the lie in his eyes, which only hurt her more.

  “Now you're so drunk you've ruined my favorite boots. Hand me your keys.” She held out her hand and tapped her foot. “I'm driving you home, then going home.”

  He shook his head, then grabbed it and almost toppled over. “No! You know I don't let anyone drive this beauty except me.” He tapped his truck and his hand came away wet. “God damn it. Someone's throwing bottles at her.” He rushed over and looked at the shattered glass and the almost dry beer.

  “I did.” She crossed her arms and waited.

  “You?” He turned and glared at her. “You scratched her. Why would you do that? It's going to cost hundreds of dollars to buff this out.” He was running his fingers over a tiny scratch on the hood. Then he turned towards her with a slight smile on his face. “There goes your birthday present. I'm taking it back to the store so I can pay for this damage.”

  “Whatever. You know you didn't buy me anything.” She started walking away.

  “Where are you going? Get back here,” he called after her.

  “I'm going to Cheryl Lynn's,” she called over her shoulder.

  “Don't, baby. Come back. I'll give you a ride back to my place.” It was an old argument that he had never won. She had never and would never spend the night at his trashed-out apartment over his father's garage. Travis kept the place so dirty, that she'd never even really stepped foot in it. The dirty apartment wasn't the only reason she hadn't spent the night at his place. She couldn't explain it, but she just didn't want to stay there, with him. At least, she talked herself into adding, until they were married.

  “Alex, get your butt back here.” She knew he'd try a couple different tactics. The next one would be to drive by her and yell at her through the open window. He would start calling her names as she walked, but she always ignored it all, telling herself it was the beer talking.

  The next day she would get some flowers and he'd come by and they'd make up. It was their pattern.

  But as she walked farther down the dark street towards Cheryl Lynn's place, he didn't drive by her. She turned and looked back at the parking lot and noticed he'd gotten back into the truck.

  Probably passed out again, she told herself as she kept walking. Cheryl's place was two miles away, an easy enough walk in the day. But tonight, with the moon only a sliver in the sky, she kept tripping over rocks and clumps of grass along the narrow road.

  Less than two minutes later, lights hit her and she stopped and waited until he pulled up next to her. But instead of Travis' truck, a dark black Ford pulled up. When the tinted windows lowered, Grant Holton called out.

  “Alexis West is that you? What on earth are you doing walking along a dark road at this time of night? I could have hit you.” It was too dark to see him fully, but she knew that voice anywhere.

  “Shut up, Grant.” She walked over and pulled open the door to his truck. She was happy when his passenger seat was empty, and she climbed up to sit next to him. “Drive me to Cheryl Lynn's place, would you?” She crossed her arms over her chest and frowned out the front window.

  Grant had come home earlier this year and even though the chubby, zit-covered, glasses-wearing geek had been replaced with a skinny, clear-skinned hunk, to her he was the same old Grant “Do-gooder” Holton. Always trying to fix everyone else's problems.

  “Travis isn't going to drive you home?” he asked. She turned and glared at him.

  “No,” she said, then watched as he turned back and looked out the window. He had yet to start driving, and she was slowly getting mad.

  “Hmm,” he said, and she watched as he looked out the back of his truck towards the Rusty Rail.

  “What?” She turned in her seat and glared at him in the dark.

  He shook his head. “Nothing.”

  “Grant Holton, you're lying.” Everyone could always tell when he had something to tell. The whole town knew he couldn’t hide anything from anyone.

  “It's nothing.” He reached over and pulled on her seat belt. When his arm brushed against her chest, she held her breath. She knew he hadn't meant the move to mean anything, but still the featherlight touch shocked her.

  “Sorry,” he mumbled and dropped his arm. “I don't start driving until the seat belts are on.”

  She rolled her eyes and reached down to finish locking the seat belt into place.

  “Are you going to tell me what secret you have?” She looked over at him.

  “No secret,” he said and then finally put his truck into gear.

  “Fine, don't tell me. It's not like I care anyway.” She looked out the front window, feeling sad.

  “I'm sorry you two broke up on your birthday,” he said, causing her head to swivel towards him.

  “We didn't break up. Who told you we broke up?” Her voice hitched.

  “It's just…I thought…” There was a moment of silence and then he cleared his throat. “I just assumed.”

  “Why?” She grabbed onto his arm, digging her nails into his skin a little.

  He looked over at her, then
back towards the road. He remained silent until he pulled the truck off the road into the old train station parking lot.

  “When I walked out to leave the Rusty Rail, I saw him and Savannah Douglas making out in the parking lot against his truck.” His voice held a hint of sadness, and his eyes, at least what she could see in the darkness, held concern.

  “Who put you up to this?” She crossed her arms over her chest again.

  “What?” He blinked and leaned back a little. He looked like he was waiting for her to slap him across the face. Instead, she started laughing.

  “Oh, this is rich. Did Billy put you up to this?” She stopped chuckling and wiped a tear from her eye. “Billy's always trying to get me to believe that Travis and Savannah have had a thing in the past.”

  Grant shook his head. “I'm sorry, Alex.” He turned and looked out the front window, then was quiet. They sat there for a few seconds before she jumped out of the truck and started quickly walking back to the Rusty Rail.

  She heard the truck door slam behind her, then Grant grabbed her shoulders. She swung out, connecting her fist with his chin as tears blinded her eyes.

  “That bastard!” she screamed. “He promised it was just a one-time deal.” She struck out again, blindly, only connecting with air as his hands wrapped gently around her wrists. “We'd broken up and he was drunk, he said…” She kicked at Grant and tried to get her wrists free, only to be pulled up close against a rock-hard body as muscular arms wrapped around her. Her grief was too much and as the dam behind her eyes finally cut loose, she heard Grant whisper words of kindness into her hair as she cried her heart out against his chest.

  Other books by Jill Sanders

  The Pride Series

  Finding Pride – Pride Series #1

  Discovering Pride – Pride Series #2

  Returning Pride – Pride Series #3

  Lasting Pride – Pride Series #4

  Serving Pride – Prequel to Pride Series #5

  Red Hot Christmas – A Pride Christmas #6

  My Sweet Valentine – Pride Series #7

  The Secret Series

  Secret Seduction – Secret Series #1

  Secret Pleasure – Secret Series #2

  Secret Guardian – Secret Series #3

  Secret Passions – Secret Series #4

  Secret Identity – Secret Series #5

  Secret Sauce – Secret Series #6

  The West Series

  Loving Lauren – West Series #1

  Taming Alex – West Series #2

  Holding Haley – West Series #3

  Missy’s Moment – West Series #4

  Breaking Travis - West Series #5

  Roping Ryan - West Series #6

  Wild Bride - West Series #7

  For a complete list of books, visit JillSanders.com

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  LOVING LAUREN

  ISBN: 978-1497346215

  Copyright © 2014 Jill Sanders

  Copyeditor: Erica Ellis – inkdeepediting.com

  No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

  About the Author

  Jill Sanders is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of the Pride Series, the Secret Series, and the West Series romance novels. Having sold over 150,000 books within six months of her first release, she continues to lure new readers with her sweet and sexy stories. Her books are available in every English-speaking country, available in audio books, and are now being translated into six different languages.

  Born as an identical twin in a large family, she was raised in the Pacific Northwest. She later relocated to Colorado for college and a successful IT career before discovering her talent as a writer. She now makes her home in charming rural Florida where she enjoys the beach, swimming, hiking, wine tasting, and, of course, writing.