by Lara Swann
He’s wearing a textured gray suit that has a slightly old-fashioned feel and suits him perfectly, complete with a sharp-looking waistcoat and pocket square. It immediately brings to mind the image of an old-school gentleman and wakes my libido up within moments. I have to take a moment to remember where I am, but damn, does he look good like that. Especially with those so-touchable curls and that roguish look on his face…
“Hi.” He says unnecessarily as he comes to a stop in front of me, a half-smile playing on his face, and I belatedly realize that he’s probably nervous too.
I guess he has as little idea about how to act as I do.
“Hi.” I repeat, also unnecessarily, but enjoying the moment. Then I allow my eyes to skip over him again, and raise my eyebrow slightly as I continue. I don’t see any need to hide some of my appreciation. “You clean up nicely.”
“Thanks.” He says, with a slightly surprised laugh. “So do you.”
“I didn’t know whether to make an effort or not.” I admit. “I couldn’t work out what sort of level we were going for here - but I’m glad I did now.”
“I wasn’t sure either…but I figure it will look good for a photo or two.”
“Oh yes, of course.” I nod. I should have thought of that.
Ashley coughs slightly from behind me, and I come back to myself.
“Oh—this is Ashley, my friend.” I say belatedly, introducing her. “And this is Nathan, my…”
I trail off, suddenly unsure. Boss seems a weird thing to say right now.
“Soon-to-be husband.” He answers for me, sounding somewhere between amused and dazed by it, but smiling at Ashley anyway.
“Nice to meet you.” She gives him a knowing smile, and then he turns and gestures to the older woman making her way over to us.
“And my Mom, Valerie, is just coming.” He says, as she steps up beside him. “Mom, this is Jessica - and her friend Ashley.”
Valerie nods at Ashley, but almost immediately turns her full attention onto me. I hesitate, not quite sure what she’ll think of me and half-expecting the kind of scrutiny my Mom would give a potential in-law, but the expression on her face is a mixture of sadness and gratitude more than anything else. She’s built differently from my Mom, taller and leaner and with an angular face that I imagine could look stern, but there’s a kindness in her warm blue eyes that matches her son’s and softens her. She seems more solemn too, but that might just be the occasion.
“Thank you for doing this, Jessica.” She says, in the kind of quiet, firm voice some older people have that instinctively makes you still to listen to it. Her eyes flick to her son and back again. “We really do appreciate what it means for us.”
“Oh, that’s okay.” I shift a little uncomfortably, feeling slightly embarrassed about the attention. I don’t want her to feel like they owe me something. “It…works out for all of us.”
At least, I hope it will.
“I brought these for you.” She says, offering me a bunch of soft cream-colored flowers.
“Ohh…” I say, feeling oddly touched as I take them. It might not be a real wedding, but they do somehow feel like they complete my outfit anyway, and the gesture feels like an offering of some kind.
“I thought…well, I thought they would be good for the photos. Afterward.”
I nod, even though I’m not entirely convinced that was exactly what she was thinking about.
“Thank you. They’re beautiful.” I smile at her, and then there’s an odd moment of hesitation between the four of us. Our slightly odd wedding party…for a slightly odd wedding, I guess.
“Well…shall we go in?” Nathan asks, glancing at his watch. “It’s not too much longer until our appointment and there might be a few things to fill out or organize…”
“Sure.” I nod. “Sounds good.”
He smiles at me and then we turn to walk towards the entrance. For a stupid moment, I think he might take my arm - but no, it doesn’t seem to occur to him as he walks beside me. There’s no reason it would, of course. We’re not a real couple. We haven’t built up that kind of casual familiar touch. I guess part of me just expected it because it fits my image of a wedding procession.
Instead, Ashley comes up and takes my arm on my other side, and that makes me smile.
Okay. At least I’m not the only one with that image.
“How are you doing?” She murmurs quietly to me.
“Fine.” I reply, giving her a little smile of reassurance - and I actually am. Now that we’re here and actually doing this, it seems like most of my nerves have settled down.
I was right. So far, none of this feels that different from our interactions at work. Just a business-like arrangement…
See? It’s going to be fine.
We head inside and present all our paperwork to the clerk inside. There are a few verifications and details, then we pay our fee and are led through into the main hall where the officiant is waiting.
It’s a relatively unremarkable room, with no particular decoration or anything that indicates the significance of what takes place here. I find myself looking around, more curious than anything else, as I realize I’ve never attended a courthouse wedding before. I mean, I haven’t attended many weddings in general, but given how commonly courthouse weddings are talked about, it surprises me slightly that I don’t know quite what to expect here.
The officiant welcomes us with a smile and we walk forward to stand before him. He talks us through the ceremony briefly and then before I know it…it’s happening.
We confirm that there’s no lawful reason we can’t marry and then within moments…we’re giving our vows.
“Nathan Lloyd Blake, do you take Jessica Eve Rivers to be your lawfully wedded wife?” He asks Nathan, and I hear the words almost as if from a distance.
“I do.” Nathan confirms. I look over at him, at the serious expression on his face, and my heart speeds up a little bit.
Oh god. We’re really doing this.
“…take Nathan Lloyd Blake to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
I blink as I realize he’s talking to me now, and then suddenly it feels like everyone is looking at me expectantly. I try not to see the slight concern in Nathan’s eyes as I get a little bit flustered.
It’s okay. I’m doing this. I’ve said I would. It’s just…wow, it’s so sudden.
“I do.” I say, everything about this feeling slightly unreal.
The officiant smiles again, and to my surprise Nathan reaches out and takes my hand, giving it a small squeeze. My heart jumps again, more in shock than anything, but I squeeze it back and offer him a small smile.
“Then, in front of these witnesses, I now pronounce you husband and wife.”
My eyes meet Nathan’s, and I think we’re both as bemused as each other as he leans over to sign the document in front of him. He beckons us forward and we do the same, followed by Valerie and Ashley.
And then…it’s done. Just like that. There’s no kissing the bride, obviously, and it’s over almost before I realize we’re actually doing it.
We’re ushered out so that the next couple can enter, and give the clerk the signed documents. He makes a couple of copies and hands us our marriage certificate and…that’s it. We turn to leave, and I blink as I emerge from the dim building into the sun outside.
“So…I guess we’re married.” Nathan says slowly, seeming to taste the words on his tongue as he says them. I can’t tell what he thinks of that. I know he doesn’t exactly have the best experience of marriage.
“I guess we are.” I agree, and for some reason one corner of my mouth tugs upward, finding something about this whole thing suddenly amusing. “Who would have thought.”
“It does make your head spin a little bit, huh? If you think about it too much.”
“Yeah.” I shake my head. “It’s…different, that’s for sure.”
“Oh—” He says, suddenly reaching into his pocket. “I brought these. I figured we didn�
��t need to exchange them with all the ceremony around it, but…we should probably wear them now.”
He pulls out a ring box, opening it to show two neat gold rings sat inside. I have no idea when he bought that. I knew he was going to, of course, but…I’d somehow forgotten about it, too.
“Oh, yeah.” I nod. “Sure.”
We’ve agreed that I won’t wear it at work - and I’ll remain as Dr. Rivers for all intents and purposes there, as many women do professionally anyway - but the rest of the time…well, that’s what this is about. We’re married. At least for the next few months, or however long it takes to resolve the custody case. We’re going to start acting like it, too. At least when we’re not behind closed doors.
He takes one out and for a moment I think he might slip it on my finger, but he just hands it to me. Of course. I put it on myself, as he does the same for his.
“So…do you guys want a photo before we go?” Ashley asks, tilting her head at us both.
“Oh, yes, thanks Ashley.” I say, turning toward her and stepping forward so that she can get City Hall in the background.
Nathan comes to stand beside me and pauses there slightly awkwardly, keeping a little apart. I glance over at him skeptically.
“Um, do you think maybe you should put your arm around me or something?” I ask, slightly hesitant. I don’t want him to think I want that or anything, but this photo is going to look seriously off if he doesn’t.
“Oh, er, right.” He says, giving me a slightly embarrassed smile that only highlights his down-to-earth appeal. “Sorry, it’s just strange crossing all those boundaries after so long working together, don’t you think?”
Okayyy. Well that couldn’t be any clearer. This man has never had a sexual thought about me in his life.
I try not to sigh. It’s probably a good thing that he sees me more as a doctor than a woman right now. I just need to maintain the same attitude—
Then he steps in close to me, his strong arm wrapping around my waist, and I almost jump out of my skin as heat surges through me. He’s close enough that I can catch the slight masculine scent of him and that pressure of our bodies pressed up against each other sends electricity pulsing straight to my core.
Then the pressure softens and he shifts back, looking at me with concern.
“Are you okay?” He asks, slight guilt written across his features. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”
“No, don’t be, it’s fine.” I say, trying without much success to shrug off the feeling. “It’s just…like you said...it feels strange, with all those professional boundaries.”
“Well, I could—”
“No, it’s fine. I’m the one who suggested it.” I smile at him, finally starting to feel like I’m getting my equilibrium back. I’m still far too aware of his arm lightly tucked against my body, but it’s not such a shock anymore. “Just took me by surprise.”
As if to make the point, I shift closer to him again, leaning slightly against him and trying to ignore just how interested my body is in that as I look back down at the camera - and the obviously amused look on Ashley’s face at our antics. I’m sure she thinks we’re being ridiculous, but hey, this is dangerous territory to be navigating right now.
“Well okay, if you’re sure.” He agrees, taking my cue and tightening his arm around me again as he looks over at Ashley.
She takes a few photographs and then we separate, half-awkward, half-amused about it as we look back at each other.
Okay, maybe we are being a little ridiculous.
Well, at least we won’t need to do too much more of that. Apart from posing for photographs, there’s no real need for us to make any particularly intimate displays.
Unfortunately.
The interjection from the back of my mind comes unbidden, but I’m more amused by it than anything else. I might not be able to help my body’s responses, but I know better than to actually go there.
“Okay, got them!” Ashley says as she comes up to us. “Do you want any more?”
I look over at Nathan, who shakes his head. “No, that should be fine. Thanks for your help.”
“No problem.” She says, and then there’s a small pause as we all stand there together.
I’m not sure any of us have thought about what happens now.
“I think I should head back for Emma.” Valerie says after a moment. “Let Carole get back to her day.”
I nod, expecting Nathan to go with her too, but instead he just offers her a smile.
“Thanks, Mom. I’ll be back a little later.”
She leans forward and gives him a kiss on the cheek, then turns to me. “It was lovely to meet you Jessica - and you, Ashley.”
“You too.” I say automatically, as she turns to leave.
Nathan looks back at me, tilting his head in question. “So…do you want to get some lunch?”
“Yeah.” I say, surprised. “Yeah, that sounds good.”
Ashley smiles, but she backs away. “I’ll leave you both to it - unless you still need a lift, Jess?”
I’m already shaking my head when Nathan answers for me. “I can drive her back.”
“Oh, thanks.” I say, at the same time that Ashley nods and grins at me.
“Okay - I’ll catch up with you later!” She waves goodbye and then turns back towards where her car is parked.
Just like that, Nathan and I are alone together. Married and alone.
It’s been quite a day.
I feel like shaking my head at the weirdness of it all, but instead I just follow as he gestures toward the main street. He doesn’t put his arm around me again, or take my hand, and I’m glad for it. I already feel like my head is spinning from all the different directions its been pulled in today.
We find a simple restaurant and take a booth - and it’s not until I slip into it and let out a long breath of relief that I realize how much I probably need this. We get offered menus and drinks, and we don’t talk much until after we’ve chosen what we want and placed our orders. I think I’m grateful for that too. I feel like I need a moment to catch my breath, after everything that’s just happened.
After a while, Nathan breaks the silence, looking up with a small smile. “Thank you again for doing this, Jess.”
“Okay, seriously, you need to stop thanking me now.” I say, meeting his smile, but not hiding some of the exasperation. “It’s not like I married you purely to do you a favor or anything - I’m getting plenty out of this too.”
“I know, it’s just…I guess I still can’t believe you actually agreed. I know how crazy it was to suggest it and, well, I somehow doubt many women would go for it.”
“I guess you asked the right woman then.” I say, trying to make light of it. I don’t want to dwell on my decision, how crazy it might have been or any of the complicated reasons for it. It’s done now.
He doesn’t laugh and shrug it off though, continuing to look at me with those far-too-captivating eyes, and I finally sigh.
“Look, Nathan, I don’t want you feeling like you owe me something for doing this. I’d find that…uncomfortable. As far as I’m concerned, this is a simple exchange. You’re getting the help you need with your custody case, and I’m getting a full partnership at the practice. People get married for plenty of worse reasons than that, and it’s just a temporary thing, so I’m fine with it. So we’re even, okay?”
He leans back, scrutinizing me for a long moment before finally nodding - and I think he might actually have gotten the message.
“Okay.” He agrees. “Even it is.”
He raises a glass of water towards me with the pronouncement, and I laugh slightly as I follow his lead.
“To us, then.” I say, grinning at the irony. It suddenly feels easier to joke about the whole thing.
We clink glasses and take a sip, before he looks down at the glass skeptically.
“Water, huh? I suddenly feel like maybe champagne would be more appropriate.”
I laugh. “
Woah there, let’s not get too carried away with this marriage thing. Champagne sounds a little too real.”
“Maybe I just like champagne.” He says, his eyes sparkling at me, and I’m relieved to see it. Some of his awkwardness finally seems to be dissipating. “But fine, we’ll stick with the water - just so long as you don’t refuse tomorrow, when we sign half of the practice over to you. This marriage might be fake, but that’s a real enough reason to celebrate.”
I flush at the thought of that, excitement taking me as it really starts hitting home.
Tomorrow…I’ll be a full partner.
With all the logistics we’ve been focused on, I haven’t had a chance to really think about that yet, but it suddenly feels so much more real.
“Oh god, yes. All the celebrations. I mean, damn, a full partnership…you know, I’m not sure I quite believe that yet…”
“See? It’s not that easy, is it?” He laughs. “Though I think a fully-deserved full partnership at a place you’ve worked yourself crazy at for years is a little more believable than a marriage of convenience to save my custody case.”
“Okay, okay…maybe disbelief is understandable - but I’m sure we’ll get used to all this.” I smile, excited just at the prospect.
“I’m sure we will.” He meets my smile, and for a moment, I think I just feel happy.
This is really going to work.
Maybe it’s a crazy situation, but we’re in it together, he’s a great guy and I know I can trust him, and we’re both getting everything we want. I can manage a few minor complications for all of that.
“And now that we’ve done this part, the rest of it should be quite simple. I’m hoping it…won’t interfere with your life too much.” He says, looking at me with a hint of his earlier concern again. I try not to let it affect me, but I can’t deny the way my heart hammers at that expression. He’s just so god-damn…caring. “I know that moving in with us for a while will be disruptive but apart from that, this being married shouldn’t really affect anything else. It’s not like we need to prove anything about our relationship to anyone - according to George it’s mostly for the married status and all the implications that go with it. It won’t affect anything at work, or when we’re in private, and when we’re out…well, so long as we wear the rings, that should be it. So hopefully…there’s not that much more you’ll have to do.”