Wolf Hall & Bring Up the Bodies - the RSC Stage Adaptation

by Mike Poulton

  JANE ROCHFORD. She could still be his concubine. It’s all she’s fit for –

  BOLEYN. Please!

  ANNE. Harry Percy spoke of love – he wrote me verses – I was a girl – I thought there was no harm.

  NORFOLK. Do something, Cromwell!

  THOMAS. One moment. (Slaps MARK across the head.) Cheer it up, can’t you – or get out.

  ANNE. What did you just do?

  THOMAS. Hit Mark.

  ANNE. Mark? Is that his name?

  NORFOLK. How did he get in here!

  MARY BOLEYN. He’s always in here – nobody ever notices him.

  NORFOLK. Get out! Forever lurking – out! Or I’ll spit-roast you like a sucking pig, boy!

  MARK runs.

  THOMAS. Well, Lady – you have astonished me. (Pause.) Harry Percy writes verses! (Straight face.) Do you still have them?

  ANNE. Of course not!

  THOMAS. That’s as far as it went? Verses? There was no promise, no contract – nor any talk of them?

  GEORGE. And no consummation of any kind?

  MARY BOLEYN. Hardly. Our sister is a notorious virgin.

  THOMAS. What has the King said?

  MARY BOLEYN. Nothing.

  JANE ROCHFORD. He stormed off – left her standing.

  BOLEYN. In this exigency there are a variety and a number of approaches – it seems to me one might –

  NORFOLK (exploding). Oh, by the thrice-beshitten shroud of Lazarus! While you talk of exigencies and approaches, Boleyn, your daughter’s slandered and whored up and down, the King’s mind poisoned, and this family’s fortune is unmaking before your eyes!

  GEORGE. What I say –

  NORFOLK. Hold your tongue, fool of a boy!

  GEORGE. Harry Percy was once persuaded to forget his claims. If he was fixed once –

  ANNE. The Cardinal fixed him! Fool! And most unfortunately the Cardinal is dead.

  Abashed silence – they absorb what she’s said.

  THOMAS (disguising his triumph). The Cardinal would have known how to save you, Lady. Though, were it not for Wolsey, you would indeed be married to Harry Percy.

  ANNE (snaps). At least I would occupy the estate of wife, which is an honourable estate!

  MARY BOLEYN. Not in Harry’s case – he’s drinking himself to death –

  NORFOLK. I’ll go beat his skull to a pulp! No – why keep a dog and bark yourself? You do it, Cromwell –

  THOMAS. Harry’s Earl of Northumberland now. God forbid I lay hands upon an English peer!

  NORFOLK. Wolsey’s dead – but he taught you his trade. So go find Harry Percy – and fix him.

  THOMAS. If Harry swears you betrothed yourself to him – if he can produce witnesses – you are a married woman in the sight of God, and in the courts of law. And you’ll never be Queen of England. I’ll speak to Harry but I’m afraid…

  BOLEYN. Perhaps if we faced him with the possibility of –

  NORFOLK. Face him with my arse! You’re a great fool and getter of greater fools, Boleyn. Leave everything to the Cardinal’s man!

  THOMAS leaves. RAFE, GREGORY and CHRISTOPHE

  fall in.

  RAFE. We’ve found him.

  CHRISTOPHE. At the sign of Mark and the Lion – drunk – we take you there.

  GREGORY. Trit-trot, trit-trot.

  Scene Twenty-One

  Lowest pub in London – WHORES lean from windows – bare-breasted, whooping, laughing, drumming up trade.

  THOMAS. Jesu! More Boleyn ladies?

  They enter. HARRY PERCY, two BODYGUARDS, drinking in a private room. RAFE and GREGORY uncomfortable, THOMAS and CHRISTOPHE very much at home. A scruffy DRAWER bolts on seeing THOMAS. He gives the BODYGUARDS a look. They bolt.

  Now, My Lord, what’s to be done here? I’ve heard your wife is petitioning for a divorce – surely not? Tell me how can I help you?

  HARRY PERCY. Get away from me, Cromwell –

  THOMAS. Mary Talbot is as lovely a lady as any in the kingdom –

  HARRY PERCY. But she’s not my wife. I am married to Anne Boleyn. I spoke the truth before and Wolsey bullied me out of it. But Wolsey’s dead, and I’m not a boy any more. I stand by my promise to Anne and she must stand by hers to me. The King talks about his conscience – he bellows about it to all Europe – and then he sets out to steal another man’s wife. Go ask him how will he stand on the Day of Judgement when he comes before God naked – stripped of his retinue.

  THOMAS. And how will you stand when you come before the King’s Council, stripped of your earldom, bankrupt and broken?

  HARRY PERCY. What? What are those papers?

  THOMAS (showing a file of papers). I have here a list of your creditors. Goes back ten years. Among many others, you owe money to the King. And to me.

  HARRY PERCY. I’ve never borrowed money from you.

  THOMAS. When your creditors got tired of waiting, they sold your debt on. To me. I could call in these debts tomorrow, I could ruin you, My Lord.

  HARRY PERCY. You can’t take away my earldom.

  THOMAS. You hold your earldom from the King. Your task is to secure the north. But your coffers are empty. Men will not fight for a kind word –

  HARRY PERCY. They are my tenants – it is their duty to fight.

  THOMAS. With rusty swords? From behind crumbling walls? If you can’t hold the line against the Scots, the King will take your titles, your land and your castles and give them to someone who can.

  HARRY PERCY slumps over the table and shakes with sobs.

  Come – you may have made some childish promises –

  HARRY PERCY. No! We swore our oaths in front of witnesses. You don’t grasp it. And once we were contracted she showed me such freedom –

  THOMAS. Stop there! Any word or hint that you have been in any way free with Lady Anne – you’ll answer to me and to the Boleyns –

  HARRY PERCY. Who are you? Who are the Boleyns? I’m the Earl of Northumberland!

  THOMAS. And the Duke of Norfolk will come and bite off your bollocks. He asked me to mention it.

  HARRY PERCY. I love Anne! And she loves me –

  THOMAS (angry, threatening). She despises you! Who wouldn’t? A drunk and a pauper. The only way you’ll please Anne Boleyn is by freeing her… So she can become Queen of England.

  HARRY PERCY. But I don’t know how. What happened, has happened. I can’t change the past!

  THOMAS. Oh, the past changes all the time. I’ll show you how easily it can be altered. You must swear on the Gospel that you made no agreement with her.

  HARRY PERCY. I can’t lie to God! I’d put my soul in danger – and when you stand before God –

  THOMAS (grabs him by the throat – glares in his face). You don’t have a soul, Harry. You’ve mortgaged it. Come on – if you’re going before the Council we’d better get you sobered up. Christophe?

  CHRISTOPHE shoves HARRY PERCY’s head in a bucket of water. RAFE and GREGORY watch, horrified.

  HARRY PERCY. Aghh! Take your hands off me.

  CHRISTOPHE ducks him again.

  Don’t you know who I am?

  CHRISTOPHE ducks him.

  I’m the Earl of – (‘Northumberland’ bubbles under water.)

  THOMAS. Oh Christ – enough!

  Scene Twenty-Two

  Council assembles. NORFOLK in the chair.

  NORFOLK. We have to wait. Archbishop Warham is coming.

  Door creaks open. Nothing happens. Then very slowly, WARHAM shuffles in. He’s almost extinct.

  WARHAM. Cromwell. You – a Councillor! What’s the world coming to? I’ll not be sorry to go out of it.

  THOMAS. I hope I see you well, My Lord of Canterbury.

  NORFOLK splutters with laughter.

  MORE. Now you’re of this Council, Cromwell, I trust you will tell the King what he ought to do – not merely what he can do. ‘If the lion knew his strength it would be hard to rule him.’

  THOMAS. Conceal his powers from him? Would that not be treason, Lord Chancell
or?

  HARRY PERCY brought in by MINDERS.

  NORFOLK. Harry Percy – you are here to deny before this Council…

  KING HENRY arrives, louring. NORFOLK jumps up – KING HENRY takes his place.

  Harry Percy, answer to the Council – were you ever contracted to the Lady Anne Boleyn?

  HARRY PERCY. No.

  NORFOLK. Were promises of marriage made between you – promises of any kind?

  HARRY PERCY. No.

  NORFOLK. Did you ever fu… ff…

  THOMAS. Has there been carnal knowledge between you? Answer. Answer upon your honour.

  HARRY PERCY. Upon my honour, no. No! No! No!

  KING HENRY. It’ll take more than your word.

  HARRY PERCY (panic-stricken). What…

  THOMAS. Approach His Grace of Canterbury, My Lord.

  WARHAM has difficulty lifting a large Bible. BOLEYN tries to help. WARHAM bats him away.

  WARHAM. Harry Percy, you have chopped and changed in this matter. You have asserted it, denied it, asserted it – now you are brought here to deny it again – but this time not only in the sight of men. Now… you will put your hand on this Bible, and swear before me and in the presence of the King, and his Council that you are free from unlawful knowledge of the Lady Anne, and free from any contract of marriage with her.

  HARRY PERCY (hand on Bible, shaking). I swear.

  NORFOLK. You’d wonder how the whole thing got about in the first place.

  He grabs HARRY PERCY, snarling. HARRY PERCY, terrified, places his hands over his bollocks.

  We shall hear no more of this boy.

  WARHAM (shuffles up to KING HENRY, who kisses his ring). Henry, I have seen you promote within your Court and Council persons whose principles and morals will hardly bear scrutiny. (Hard look at THOMAS.) I have seen you deify your own will and appetite, to the sorrow and scandal of Christian people. I have been loyal to you to the point of violation of my own conscience. I have done much for you… But now I have done the last thing I will ever do.

  Scene Twenty-Three

  Burst of music ‘A Te Deum’. Few witnesses – the BOLEYNS. Bishops ROWLAND LEE and STEPHEN marry KING HENRY and ANNE. Then MARK plays the lute and sings ‘What Shall I Do For Love?’

  STEPHEN. Please God put a male heir in her belly before Christmas.

  THOMAS. You wish her success? There’s a change!

  STEPHEN. I wish his temper soothed. And some result out of all this… confusion.

  KING HENRY. Cromwell. Now that Warham is dead I shall make Cranmer Archbishop. And you… Well, what will I make of you? I don’t know… yet. But… (Gives a ring.)

  THOMAS. Majesty.

  STEPHEN. I’ll find a use for him, Majesty. He has languages, has he not? Spent time abroad? A long and difficult mission to France perhaps, or Madrid, or the Low Counties – (Dry laugh.)

  KING HENRY. Before my son is born, Cranmer must make a formal dissolution of my supposed marriage. He’ll convene a court for the purpose at Dunstable Priory. Katherine may send lawyers – or attend herself. (On the point of tears.) You, Cromwell, will go and inform her of it. You – and no one else – must break the news to her… But… Oh, what’s to become of Mary – my sweet daughter?

  THOMAS. Be good to her, sir.

  KING HENRY. I must make her a bastard. Anne insists upon it. I must settle England on our son.

  Exit with ANNE and BOLEYNS.

  STEPHEN. What shall he do for love? Anything. There’s no limit I can see.

  THOMAS. I’ll tell you a secret, Stephen – not that it will be secret much longer. Your prayer is answered. She’s already with child.

  STEPHEN. If you tell it in that tone, people will think you mean to take the credit.

  THOMAS. So now she needs rest and quiet. She’s talking about a house for herself – a retreat. Shady trees – fountains – walks – rose arbours… Close to the King at Whitehall –

  STEPHEN (getting the drift). Cromwell –

  THOMAS. I mentioned your new place at Hansworth –

  STEPHEN. Cromwell, I have just paid a fortune to that crew of French glaziers you recommended –

  THOMAS. Perfect! Light and airy – just the place for a growing child –

  STEPHEN. And the antique statue of the Three Graces dancing you had sent from Rome –

  THOMAS. No. Well, I have to admit that came cheap from a man in Shoreditch –

  STEPHEN. She’s not having it! I refuse! I’m not budging – Anne Boleyn can’t take my house.

  THOMAS. I think you’ll find she can. She took York Place from the Cardinal, did she not? You were there. You made the inventory. You are witness to what she can do.

  STEPHEN. What kind of monster have you brought among us?

  THOMAS. You played your part. You’ve just married her. Bishop. (Leaves.)

  STEPHEN follows him – angry. As they go:

  STEPHEN. God damn you, Cromwell! Who are you? What office do you hold? You’re nothing! Nothing! I suppose in a world where Anne Boleyn can be Queen, Thomas Cromwell of Putney can be Prince of Thieves –

  THOMAS. I suppose you’re right.

  STEPHEN. What else have you faked?

  THOMAS. Oh, drop it, Stephen – I’ll get you your money back…

  Scene Twenty-Four

  Ampthill Manor.

  KATHERINE. Married? The rites may have been performed but she is not his wife. If he places a crown upon her head it won’t make her Queen – if she gives him a son her bastard can never reign. I am England’s true Queen – my daughter Princess Mary Henry’s only heir. Get up, Cromwell. I’ll not come to Dunstable. Cranmer’s court has no lawful authority. My case is in Rome, awaiting the attention of the Holy Father.

  THOMAS. Slow, isn’t he? The King wishes to settle his affairs before his wife is crowned.

  KATHERINE. Only the Pope can settle the King’s affairs. Certainly not Dr Cranmer.

  THOMAS. Archbishop Cranmer.

  KATHERINE. A heretic?

  THOMAS. The Pope appointed him.

  KATHERINE. Then His Holiness was badly advised. Cranmer will be called to account.

  THOMAS. This Archbishop is the best guardian of the Church we’ve had in centuries. He is no heretic. He will reform what needs reformation – that is all. And whether you appear before his court or not, he will annul your marriage.

  KATHERINE. Then the Pope will excommunicate him. Bishops and even kings must come to judgement. I know Henry – he fears judgement. (Pause.) So Boleyn’s daughter is with child. It means nothing. A child in the womb is not a child in the cradle… as I know. (Pause.) I have failed…

  THOMAS. My Lady –

  KATHERINE. The King was a good husband once… I have brought England little good, but I would not wish her any harm. What will happen to the Princess Mary?

  THOMAS. I will do all I can for her.

  KATHERINE. You mean steal the Church’s lands and give them to the King. (Laughs.) Silent? Then you shall do it. Tell the King I’ll pray for him. He needs to be on the side of the light. He’s not a man like you, who packs up his sins in his saddlebags and carries them around until they grow too heavy – then dumps them on the highway or drops them overboard into the sea. Henry errs, but he craves forgiveness. I believe – I will always believe – he’ll turn from his path of error in order to be at peace with himself. Peace is what every good Christian prays for.

  THOMAS. What a placid end you make, madam. Like an abbess. You’re sure you won’t think it over? I mean about becoming an abbess?

  KATHERINE (a broad smile). I’ll stay here. Or go where I am sent. As the King wills – as a true wife should.

  CHAPUYS arrives.

  CHAPUYS. You’re no further forward, m’sieur. And now you have insulted the Emperor and disobeyed the Pope, your cause is set further back.

  THOMAS comes out – joins RAFE.

  THOMAS. Not over yet.

  RAFE. You have to feel sorry for Queen Katherine.

  THOMAS. Do you? Henry
went to France to have a little war – as Englishmen do – and left her as Regent. Down came the Scots. They were well beaten at Flodden and their King had his head cut off. Katherine – angelic Katherine – was going to send the head to her husband in his camp. But they advised her such a gesture was ‘un-English’. She sent instead the surcoat in which the Scottish King had died – stiffened, black and cracking with his pumped-out royal blood.

  RAFE. Jesus.

  THOMAS. If Katherine had been a man she’d have been a greater general than all the heroes of antiquity. In a fair fight between her and Henry, I know who I’d put my money on.

  Scene Twenty-Five

  Birdsong. A garden. KING HENRY enters with NORFOLK, SUFFOLK, etc. ANNE and THOMAS enter together watching… complicit, gloating. She has her hand on his arm.

  ANNE. One by one those who oppose themselves against me are swept aside.

  Enter STEPHEN and MORE.

  I see Thomas More has lost his contest with the inkpot again. (Laughs – hand over mouth.)

  THOMAS. You’d think he’d have had himself shaved – he is Lord Chancellor after all.

  ANNE. Not for much longer.

  MORE kneels. He takes off the chain and puts it in KING HENRY’s hands. He searches for the Great Seal but can’t find it. He beckons to NORFOLK and whispers. NORFOLK whispers to KING HENRY and gestures to STEPHEN.

  NORFOLK. He’s misplaced the Great Seal. He may have left it in the privy. Go look, Gardiner, would you?

  STEPHEN (affronted). You go and look, My Lord!

  NORFOLK. I am the realm’s foremost peer.

  STEPHEN. And I am Bishop of Winchester!

  NORFOLK. Then go and look. Bishop!

  Face off. STEPHEN goes.

  ANNE. I wonder what he’s thinking. He never says.