25 Reasons to Hate Christmas and Cowboys

by Elle Thorpe

  “I did.”

  I didn’t say anything. His name was Johnny. It was so rugged. Johnny who looked like he’d stepped right off a cattle ranch. I bet he rode horses without saddles and cracked whips too. A flicker of warmth rose deep in my belly at that thought. That really shouldn’t have turned me on as much as it did.

  Macy looked between the two of us like she was at a tennis match, and Johnny folded my list in half. He held it up in my direction. “I’ve got to get going. But can I keep this?”

  I shrugged. It was of no use to me. I already had a headful of those Christmas memories to keep me miserable through all of December. “Knock yourself out, cowboy.”

  With a wink, he strolled toward the front doors, tucking the note in the ass pocket of his Wranglers as he went.

  Lucky list.

  2

  Johnny

  I dumped the heavy bag on the wooden table of my mama’s kitchen, a cloud of flour floating up into my face. I wrinkled my nose to keep from sneezing.

  Mama looked up from where she was kneading dough and brushed her gray-flecked hair out of her eye with the back of her hand. “Oh good. You’re back. We need to talk strategy. The lights need to be finished by this weekend because the judges will be out next week and it’s already December first. If we leave it any longer, we’ll—”

  “I’m in love,” I declared, crossing my arms and resting my back on the refrigerator.

  Mama didn’t even blink. “Oh yeah? Who with this time?”

  I snorted. “I should probably be insulted by that.”

  “You could only be insulted if it weren’t true. But you’ve been waltzing into this kitchen since you were a boy and announcing you were in love with one girl or another.”

  “I’m serious, Mama. I met someone.”

  She threw a yellow frilled apron at me, which I knew better than to argue over. I tied it round my waist and washed my hands before she pointed at another bowl. “Get that cookie dough onto a tray for me, will you? You can tell me about the newest love of your life while you do it.”

  I grabbed the cookie trays and sprayed them with oil. “She works down on the main street. She’s gorgeous. All this dark hair and tan skin and green eyes like emeralds.”

  Mama raised an eyebrow. “Emeralds, huh? Look at you, getting all poetic. She got a name?”

  “Isabel.”

  She mused over that for a moment. “Don’t know no Isabels.”

  I spooned a lump of chocolate chip cookie dough onto the tray I’d prepared, resisting the urge to shove it in my mouth. “You wouldn’t. She’s not from around here. She’s got an accent. Australian, I think.”

  “She’s a long way from home then.” Mama eyed me critically. I knew I was smiling like a dope, but I couldn’t help it. The minute I’d seen Isabel through the glass windows, it was like a magnet had been drawing me inside the department store. I didn’t need new clothes. I’d bought a whole new winter wardrobe earlier in the season. But I’d needed a reason to talk to her.

  “So what’s so great about this Isabel?”

  I grinned. “Everything.” And then I laughed. “Well, everything except that she hates Christmas.”

  “Nobody hates Christmas.”

  “That’s what I said! But look.” I wiped off my hands on the apron and took Isabel’s list from my back pocket. “She has a lot of reasons.”

  Mama took the list, holding it by the corners with her messy fingers. A hint of a smile flickered at her mouth, but then died as she read on. When she got to the end, she handed it back to me, looking sober. “She’s had some rough holidays. I feel for her.”

  I tucked the list in my back pocket. “Me too. I thought about it the whole way home.”

  “You mean you thought about her the whole way home.”

  I chuckled. “That too.” I hadn’t been able to get Isabel’s piercing green eyes out of my head. Or her grumpy scowl. Or the curves of her hips, and the thought of what they might feel like beneath my hands…

  Mama studied me, then she shook her head. “I know that look, Johnny Aaron West. You’re scheming.”

  I lifted my head and met her gaze. I couldn’t stop smiling. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve never schemed in my life. I do have a plan though.”

  Mama raised one eyebrow.

  “I’m gonna make her fall in love with Christmas. And with me.”

  The next morning, I bounced out of bed at the ass crack of dawn and scrambled into my jeans. A sense of pride washed over me as I did up the buckle on my belt. It was one I’d received for winning the bull riding championship at the local rodeo last month. I’d worn it every day since, damn proud of my achievements. Next year would be my year to make the pro circuit. I could just feel it.

  I threw on a jacket and ball cap before pulling on my boots, and strolled out of my cabin and down the steps to where my truck sat. I scraped a thin layer of ice off the windshield and sat in the cab for a few minutes, rubbing my arms briskly to warm myself while I waited for the heat to kick in. Once I had the truck defrosted, I got it trundling over the dirt roads of the expansive property, the light dusting of snow we’d gotten overnight disintegrating beneath the tires as I went. I pulled up at the stables and strolled in, the smell of hay and horses and manure so familiar.

  “Levi!” I hollered.

  Levi’s face already had smudges of dirt when he stuck his head out of a stall.

  I gave my best friend my most charming smile.

  He shook his head rapidly. “Oh no. Hell no. I know that look. Whatever you’re going to ask, it’s a no.”

  “I need you to cover for me.”

  He groaned. “Fuck off, Johnny. We’ve got a ton of work to do today. Your old man will have our heads if we don’t finish.”

  I cringed. “I know. But I swear, I’m not going to be long. I’ve just gotta run to town.”

  “What am I supposed to tell him when he asks where you are?”

  I shrugged and slapped him on the back. “Tell him we ran out of feed or something and I’ve gone to the store.”

  “We have ten huge bags of feed in the storeroom!”

  But I was already walking backward toward my truck. “You’re creative! Make something up!”

  He shook his head. “She better have a friend for me, asshole. That’s all I’m saying.”

  We’d been best friends since we were five, and we’d worked together every day since we’d both left school. He knew me too well.

  I winked at him. “I’ll ask.”

  I climbed back into the cab of my truck and gunned it before my dad could corner me and add to my already long list of jobs to do. I really did have a lot of work, including finishing up the Christmas lights once all the regular ranch chores were done. But dammit. I’d been awake half the night thinking about wiping that scowl off Isabel’s face and finding out what her smile looked like. And even when I had finally fallen asleep, I’d dreamed of her. I had something I wanted to do for her, and I just couldn’t leave it a second longer.

  I tapped on the steering wheel impatiently while I drove the long roads into town, too jittery to even sing along with the radio. But I’d been driving these roads for a lifetime, so even on autopilot, I pulled my truck up outside the bookstore at two minutes to nine. I was the first one inside when the clerk opened the doors, and I pulled my hat off and beamed at her. I was full of smiles today, though it was Isabel who I really wanted to lay one on. But I needed something before I went to try my luck with her again.

  “Can I help you find something in particular, sir?”

  “Yes!”

  The woman took a small step back, no doubt startled by my overenthusiastic response, and I grasped her arm to steady her. “Sorry! Sorry. I just have this…uh, this friend, who I want to buy a book for. The best book you have in the whole store.”

  The clerk gave me a tentative smile and motioned around the store full of bookshelves. “Well, that’s subjective, isn’t it? Your best book might n
ot be my best book. And if I pulled someone off the street, they’d probably choose something different again.”

  I frowned. Shit. She was right. I hadn’t thought this through. Story of my life. I gazed around helplessly at the hundreds of books on display. I didn’t have a clue where to begin.

  The woman took pity on me. “Not a reader, huh?”

  I shook my head. “No, ma’am. Never had much time for it.”

  She steered me toward a section marked Top Reads. “Maybe something from here would work?”

  I nodded and gazed at all the books for a minute. My fingers twitched. I was so impatient to get to the store Isabel worked at, and I just had no idea which of these books she’d like. I turned back to the clerk with puppy dog eyes. “Which is your favorite?”

  “Mine?”

  “You must read a lot, if you work here? I bet you have great taste. So I’ll go with whatever is your favorite.”

  She stepped forward and pulled a book from the shelf. “Well, that’s easy. This whole series is amazing, but that’s book one. It’s very popular.”

  “Sold! Ring it up, Betty!”

  She frowned. “That’s not my name.”

  I stifled a laugh. “Right of course, I was just overexcited… Never mind. I’ll take that one. Thank you.”

  Back in the truck, I fished a pen from the center console and grinned as I scribbled a message across the title page. Within five minutes, I was back on the road, on my way to see the most beautiful woman I’d ever met in my life.

  3

  Isabel

  Even twisted in a strand of Christmas lights, with Macy yapping beside me, I noticed the moment Johnny entered the store. From the corner of my eye, his tall, broad-shouldered figure moved like a panther through the rows and racks. He wore another checked shirt beneath a warm-looking jacket, and jeans, which seemed to be the uniform around here. I fumbled with the lights, my heart beating faster when his gaze locked with mine. He gave me a smile that could have lit up the darkest of night skies.

  Oh boy.

  That smile heated my blood quicker than a propane torch would have. God, he was sexy.

  He stopped in front of me, and I dropped the lights I was working to untangle, nudging them out of the way with my foot.

  “I brought you a present,” he announced. He had his arms behind his back like he was hiding something.

  “Did you bring me one too?” Macy interrupted.

  Johnny blinked at her, like he hadn’t even realized she was there. “Uh…um.”

  Macy folded her arms across her chest. “I’ll take that as a no then?”

  Johnny’s cheeks turned pink, and I stifled a laugh when he gave Macy a not-so-subtle frustrated look and flicked his head.

  Macy wasn’t having it though. “Trying to get rid of me, Johnny West? I’ve known you a million years. You’re not that smooth, you know.”

  He huffed out a sigh. “You’re killing me right now, Macy. Can I just have a minute with Isabel? Please?”

  Macy looked over at me with a questioning look. I shrugged. I had no idea what this was all about either.

  “I’ll go get some coffee. But don’t think I’m not watching you, Johnny. I know all about you. Don’t you forget that.”

  Huh. Well. That was interesting. I made a mental note to ask Macy what she’d meant by that later.

  If looks could kill, Macy would have been dead on the spot, but since they couldn’t, she flounced off in the direction of the staff room.

  I dragged my gaze back to Johnny. He gave me an embarrassed smile and held out a small brown paper bag. “Here. I really did buy you a present.”

  I studied the parcel but didn’t move to take it. “Why?”

  “Because nobody should hate Christmas. I wanted to right one of the wrongs on your list.”

  I gawked at him. “You kept that?”

  He pulled the list from yesterday out of his back pocket.

  I cringed, reminded of how whiny I had been. “Look, I’m sorry. I really was in a bad mood. I shouldn’t have unloaded it all on you. You don’t need to try to fix my crappy history with Christmas. Nobody can do that.”

  I went to take the list from his hand, but he held it up higher.

  “Hey!” I jumped to snatch it from his grasp.

  He yanked it out of the way, then pushed it into his front pocket.

  I glanced down, following his movements, but realized all too suddenly that looking there meant I was basically looking at the man’s crotch. Heat flushed my face.

  “Here.” Johnny shoved the paper bag at me again. “Take it. Please? It’s for you.”

  “Give it to someone else.”

  “I don’t want to.”

  I quirked an eyebrow, fighting the smile that was threatening to explode on my face. “Stubborn, aren’t you?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  I let my lip curl ever so slightly. All the ma’ams had made me feel so old when I’d first arrived in this town. Nobody spoke like that back home, unless you were perhaps addressing someone very elderly. But on his lips, it sounded…sexy. And he had those big brown eyes, practically puppy-like in their eagerness for me to take his gift.

  I took the bag cautiously, and his grin grew. His body was practically vibrating with excitement. It was a little contagious. I was suddenly curious as to what was inside.

  I opened the bag and peered in. “A book?”

  He nodded eagerly. “Number five on your list was the year you read Little Women, which you loved, until the sad stuff happened. I wanted to give you a better book, to replace that memory.” He looked so proud of himself.

  It was ridiculously cute.

  I still remembered that Christmas so vividly. I’d completely lost myself in Louisa May Alcott’s world, and had been lapping up every word. And then Beth had gotten sick… It was the first time I ever remember feeling completely and utterly heartbroken by a book. I’d read on with tears pouring down my face, and my cousins had teased me mercilessly for being a crybaby.

  I turned this new book over and took in the cover. A choked laugh escaped my throat. “So you bought me The Hunger Games?”

  He nodded slowly, uncertainty creeping into his expression. “Uh, yes? I went to the store and asked the clerk for the best book ever. I wanted something nice that would make you smile. That’s what she gave me.”

  I couldn’t help it. I laughed so hard I was wheezing by the time I pulled myself together. “Oh God, I’m sorry.” I gasped through tears building in the corners of my eyes. “Did you read the blurb by any chance? Have you heard nothing about The Hunger Games?”

  He shook his head, looking confused.

  “It’s about a group of children forced into an arena where they kill each other until only one survives.”

  His eyes widened, and then he looked down at the book in my hand like he’d never seen it before. “You’re joking.”

  I giggled. “Nope.”

  “Why on earth would the woman at the store tell me that was the best book ever? That sounds horrific!”

  I grinned. “Actually, I’ve read it. And it is pretty good.” I handed him back the book. “You should keep it. Read it. You might like it.”

  He looked at his feet. “Uh, no. You take it anyway. I’ve got to go. I’m slacking off when I should be at work.”

  He backed away quickly, bumping into a clothes rack.

  “Johnny…wait…”

  He held up a hand in a goodbye, red creeping up his neck. “See you around, Isabel. Read the book!” He paused. “Again.”

  He practically ran out of the store. I clutched his gift to my chest and watched him jump into a black truck and take off down the road. I giggled again. He was too cute for his own good. I had to admit, I liked seeing him a bit embarrassed. It was a nice balance to the cocky side of him I’d seen yesterday.

  I flicked open the book and realized there was writing on the title page. I smoothed a hand over the paper, noting the string of numbers written in bl
ue pen, with “Johnny, xo” beneath it.

  His phone number.

  I closed the book with a grin.

  Too. Freaking. Cute.

  4

  Johnny

  The porch door swung open, and Levi stopped in the doorway. “Why the hell is it five hundred degrees in here? You sick or something?” He peeled off his jacket and dumped it on the back of my dining room chair. Then a moment later, he shrugged out of his shirt too, leaving him in just a wifebeater. He eyed the two gas heaters I had going, and the fire raging in the fireplace. Then finally, his gaze landed on me, eyes wide. “What are you doing?”

  “Quit asking questions and just get over here and help. Grab a bag of sand.”

  Levi faltered between where I’d stacked bags of kids’ play sand in a corner of the cabin living room and where I was laying down a plastic tarp.

  “Nope, you’re gonna have to give me more info than that. Where have you been all day?”

  I waved a hand around. “Yeah, sorry. I know. I’ll make it up to you. But I had to set all this up.”

  He squinted. “And again. What is all this?”

  “Date night.”

  Realization dawned. “Ah. I should have realized. You’ve lost it over a girl.”

  “She’s so gorgeous, Levi. You got no idea. She’s got this long hair and hips that flare out so fucking sweetly…and an accent. She’s sharp too. Witty. The whole package. I just know it.”

  “And she agreed to go out with your ugly head?”

  “Well…not exactly.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “She hasn’t even said yes yet? Why are you setting up whatever the hell this is if she hasn’t even agreed to go out with you? The heat has gone to your head, dude. Maybe you are sick.”

  “Fuck off, I’m fine. And she’s gonna call.”

  “You’re such a cocky prick.”

  I shrugged. “You call it cocky. I call it confident.” But I grabbed my phone from the dining room table and checked it for what felt like the five-hundredth time since I’d left Isabel’s store.