The Ending I Want

by Samantha Towle

  Jake laughs. “He hardly begged.”

  “He made me beg.” Liam chuckles, winking at me.

  “So, the donation,” Jake says. “I’ll have my assistant, Stuart, contact your people to sort out the details, and we’ll send some money over.”

  “And just so you know, the charity runs on a hundred percent donations, so anything you send will go straight to the kids,” Liam tells him.

  “You fund the charity yourself?” Jake asks, seeming impressed.

  Liam nods. He seems a little uncomfortable, and that blush in his cheeks is back. “It’s not a big deal, but my accountant seems to think so. He doesn’t like it very much.”

  “I can imagine.” Jake chuckles.

  “That is incredibly generous of you,” I say to Liam, turning to him.

  It’s just…such an amazing thing to do. He runs the charity out of his own pocket, so the children see all the donated money. Not many people would do that.

  His eyes come to mine. “It’s nothing someone in my position wouldn’t do.”

  “That’s not true,” I say emphatically. “There are a lot of rich people out there who don’t even do half of what you’re doing.” Then, I say to Jake, “And I’m not including you in that statement because, clearly, you’re a generous man with your time and money.” And I’m babbling again.

  I turn back to Liam. “It’s just…wonderful.”

  “It’s not like I can’t afford it.” He shrugs, like it’s no big deal. “I mean, what else am I going to do with my money?”

  I…I don’t know what to say. There are so many things he could do with his money.

  But he doesn’t. He doesn’t exactly live a lavish lifestyle. Sure he has a nice apartment and nice clothes. But I don’t see him splurging like others would. He flies economy on his own airplanes, for God’s sake.

  “Well, I think Taylor is right, man. It’s commendable, what you do. Makes me want to do more.” Jake rubs a hand over his chin. “I’ll have Stuart speak to your people about us getting more involved, fundraising or something. My wife, Tru, owns a magazine. She runs the LA office, but the office here in London is run by her business partner, Vicky. I’m sure Tru and Vicky will also want to get involved.”

  “That would be…great,” Liam says. He sounds a little choked up. “We’d really appreciate that.”

  I wish I could do something, too. Help his charity in someway. But I’m not exactly in a position to do so.

  I do have some money—the money my parents left me and the money from the insurance settlement from the fire and the deed to my family’s home. I could sell the house, and give all the money I have to his charity. Help those kids that Liam cares about. It’s not like I need the money. I could donate anonymously.

  But, first, I need to know the name.

  “What’s your charity called?” I ask Liam.

  “We’re All the Same.”

  We’re All the Same.

  I love that.

  It’s perfect.

  It’s him.

  “Do you want to meet the guys?” Jake asks. He nods in the direction of where the band is still sitting, talking with the kids. “I’m sure they’ll want to donate to your charity as well.”

  “Love to,” I say quickly.

  I might be in awe of Liam right now, but I’m still totally aware that I’m in the presence of rock royalty. I’ve met Jake. Now, I want to meet the rest of the band.

  Liam chuckles from beside me, and I grin up at him.

  As we walk over to meet the rest of The Mighty Storm, I can’t take my eyes off Liam.

  I feel like I’m seeing him through new eyes tonight.

  Of course I knew he was great. He’s wonderful and charming and funny and smart and fucking amazing in bed.

  But this—his charity and what he does to help these kids who don’t have much in life—I guess it’s making me see just how special Liam really is.

  And I’m starting to see just how special he is to me.

  What he’s starting to mean to me.

  This is the exact moment, as I walk over to meet the band whose music I’ve been listening to since I was a teenager, that I realize I have feelings for Liam.

  Real, actual feelings that move beyond the realm of just sex.

  I can’t tell if these feelings are that of friendship.

  Or something more.

  Either way, I have feelings for him.

  And that knowledge scares the hell out of me.

  “Oh my God,” I breathe, waking to find Liam’s head between my legs and his tongue licking me with gusto.

  At the sound of my voice, Liam’s eyes lift to mine. “Good morning,” he rumbles. His chin rubs on my clit, the scratch of his morning stubble feeling strangely erotic.

  “It certainly is.” I smile, biting my bottom lip.

  “Well, I did tell you if I stayed awake in bed next to you, I’d end up waking you up for sex.”

  “I’m glad you did—wake me up, that is.”

  He tips his head back down and runs his nose over my clit, making me shiver.

  Then, he puts his mouth back on me and sucks on my clit, sliding two fingers inside me, making my hips jerk upward.

  He presses his free hand on my hip, holding me in place, as he drives me crazy with his skilled tongue.

  My heart is pounding in my chest, my fingers pulling at his hair, and I’m coming against his mouth seconds later.

  I’m lax in the bed, my heart still beating hard and my breaths are coming fast.

  Liam climbs up my body. “Hi.”

  He brushes his mouth against mine. I can taste myself on his lips.

  “Hi yourself.” I grin.

  I part my legs wider, letting him know what I want—him inside me.

  Liam smiles against my mouth, kissing me again, as he pushes himself inside me.

  “Liam,” I moan between kisses.

  “Jesus, Taylor.” He presses his forehead to mine and starts moving in and out of me in long, measured strokes.

  Liam rarely says my name, but when he does, it’s when he’s inside me or angry with me, as I learned last night. But I like hearing him say my name, especially when he’s moaning it in sexual pleasure.

  The slow sex doesn’t last long, and very quickly, he’s fucking me fast and hard. His hand goes under my ass, tilting it up, so he reaches deeper. His mouth kisses down my neck to my breast, taking it in his mouth. Then, his tongue is licking around my nipple.

  My hands are on his back, my nails scoring into his skin.

  “I’m not gonna last much longer, babe. Are you close?”

  “Come,” I tell him. “I want to feel you come.”

  Liam always thinks of me first in sex. But, right now, I want this moment to be about him.

  His mouth finds mine again, and he kisses me deeply. Not much later, he’s coming long and hard. He collapses on top of me, making sure not to crush me, with his face buried in my neck as he catches his breath. Then, he kisses a path up my neck to my mouth and gives me a soft, sweet face.

  “I’ll get something to clean you up. Give me a minute.” One last kiss, he pulls out of me and leaves the bed, walking into the bathroom.

  I hear the telltale sound of running water, and then Liam reappears with a damp cloth.

  “I can do it.” I hold out my hand.

  “I know, but I like to do it.” He sits on the bed beside me and presses the damp cloth to me, cleaning me up. “It’s my last chance to feel you up—well, until the next time I get to do it.” He lifts his smiling eyes to mine.

  I giggle, shaking my head at him.

  He takes the cloth back to the bathroom, and then he’s climbing into bed beside me. I curl up against his body, resting my head on his chest. I listen to his heart beating, my fingers running through his soft chest hair.

  “I wanted to ask you something,” Liam says.

  I tip my head back, so I’m looking at him. “Sounds ominous.”

  He smiles. “It’s noth
ing bad. It’s just Grand Prix weekend, and I always go down to my grandpa’s place. I usually drive down on Friday night. We hang out and go flying on Saturday, and then we head to the Prix on Sunday.”

  “You go to your grandpa’s often?”

  “As often as work allows.”

  “Then, you should definitely go. Don’t worry about me here. It’s London. There’s plenty to entertain me.”

  I could actually go down to Oxford. I was planning on doing it at the end of my trip. But I could go this weekend while Liam’s away. I could catch the train and spend the day down there.

  The thought of going alone, without Liam, makes me feel…lonely. But it’s important that I go.

  He shifts, forcing me to move. He lies on his side, his head on the pillow, facing me. He brings his hand to my face and tucks my hair behind my ear. Then, he brushes his fingers down my neck, over my shoulder, and down my arm. He takes my hand in his. “Well, I was wondering if you wanted to come with me. I know going to my grandpa’s house isn’t on your list. But we could probably do some of the things left on your list while we’re there. And we still have next week to complete it.”

  Next week—that’s all I have left with him.

  The level of sadness I feel from that knowledge is…concerning.

  It should stop me from wanting to be with him this weekend. It should make me want to say no.

  But it doesn’t. It has me wanting to say yes.

  I bite my lip. “I don’t want to intrude on your time with your grandpa.”

  “You wouldn’t be intruding, and I know that my grandpa would love to have you there. He’s a people person.” Liam smiles wide. “And I bet you’ve never been to the Grand Prix, right?”

  “Right.”

  “So, we can add it to your list. You’ll love it, Boston. It’s an amazing experience.”

  Say no, Taylor. You’re getting too attached. Let him go to the Grand Prix with his grandpa, and you go to Oxford alone.

  “Where does your grandpa live?”

  Don’t ask that. Say no. Thank you for the offer but no.

  “Oxford,” he says.

  My breath catches.

  “My parents met at Oxford University.” The words are out before I can stop them.

  I’m surprised at how easily they came out. I feel my heart start to beat faster.

  Liam’s hand tightens around mine, his eyes softening on me. “Do you want to go…to Oxford? See the university?”

  I can feel my throat thickening, so I don’t attempt speech. I nod my head.

  Liam brings his mouth to my forehead and kisses me there. I close my eyes, my chest feeling too full…with everything.

  “So, it’s settled. You’ll come with me to Oxford.” He tips my chin up with his hand and kisses me once more on the lips.

  Then, he gets up from the bed. “I’ll make us breakfast,” he says, pulling some black pajama pants from the drawer and putting them on. “After breakfast, we can swing by the hotel, you can pack a bag for the weekend, and then we’ll head to Grandpa’s place. Scrambled eggs and bacon good for you?”

  I feel mute. Because I’m feeling too much.

  “Eggs and bacon are fine,” I force out the words.

  Liam heads for the door. “I’ll get breakfast started, and you can get your hot arse out of bed and make the coffee.” He tosses a smile back at me before leaving the room.

  I push myself up in bed and just sit there for a moment.

  His grandpa lives in Oxford. The place my parents met and fell in love.

  I don’t know if it’s just a coincidence or meant to be.

  Coincidence. It has to be.

  Why did I tell him about where my parents met?

  Because you want him to know you.

  No, I don’t want Liam to know me.

  And, in many ways, I don’t want to know him. I don’t want to get close to him.

  This here, with him, was just supposed to be sex and fun.

  But, now, it’s starting to feel like more than that.

  On my part at least.

  Last night, I wasn’t sure if the feelings I had for Liam were friendship…or something more.

  Now, I’m sure. They’re something more.

  The only saving grace I have is that Liam doesn’t reciprocate my feelings. At least, I don’t think he does. If he did, then that would make things messy.

  No, Liam’s not a relationship person. His job is everything to him, the only thing he cares about. It’s his life. He has no room in it for anyone else—aside from his grandpa and his friends.

  He might be spending this time off work with me, but this, for him, is just a vacation.

  I’m his at-home holiday romance.

  When I leave London, Liam will be someone I have to let go of, and it will hurt.

  For Liam, I’ll just be that American girl he had two crazy weeks with. In time, I’ll just be a memory. A fond memory, I hope.

  But one thing is for certain. This thing between Liam and me will end the way it was always supposed to end, irrespective of the feelings I have for him.

  One more week, and I will leave London and go back to Boston.

  And soon after…I will die.

  “This is your car?”

  Liam stops by the trunk of the car and looks over at me. We’re in his building’s parking garage, and I’m staring at the hottest car I have ever seen.

  “It is.” He smiles.

  He pops the trunk and puts his bag in along with the empty one I’ve borrowed from him. We’re stopping by the hotel, so I can get my stuff before we head to Oxford. All I have with me is my handbag that I’ve been using for overnights at his place, and sure, it’s big, but a weekend away requires more stuff. The only other thing I have with me is my big-ass suitcase, and I’d prefer not to drag that to Oxford with me, so Liam lent me one of his weekend bags.

  And remember when I said that Liam doesn’t spend money to the excess? I take that back.

  I might not be a car expert, but I know a Bugatti Veyron when I see one. And that’s what I’m looking at right now.

  A sexy-as-hell Bugatti.

  “This car is a total babe magnet.” I run my fingertips over the smooth, shiny black paintwork.

  “Like its owner,” he says, shutting the trunk with a soft clunk.

  “Ha!” I laugh. “Seriously though, you could look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame and still score a supermodel if you had this car.”

  Liam gives a mock-offended look. “I hope to fuck you’re not implying that chicks only dig me because of my car.”

  I laugh again. “As if. This is the first time I’ve seen your car, and I totally dug you long before this.”

  He comes around the car, toward me. Standing before me, he takes my face in his hands, tipping it back so that I’m looking up into his eyes.

  Leaning in, he softly kisses me on the lips. “I kinda dig you, too, Boston.”

  I don’t know why, but the sentiment really touches me. More than it should. More than I should allow it to.

  I blink my eyes open. His are on mine.

  My heart bumps around my chest.

  He kisses me again and then whispers over my lips, “Now, get your hot arse in my hot car, so I can get her out on the open road.”

  He releases me with a chuckle. Then, he walks over and opens the passenger door for me.

  “Boys and their toys.” I smile as I climb inside, setting my heart back in place.

  Wow. The car is just as nice on the inside as the outside. It’s rich leather and glossy everything. I’m afraid to touch anything in case I leave a mark.

  For a two-seater, it’s surprisingly roomy. It even fits Liam’s big body as he climbs in.

  I put my seat belt on. “I’m so going to enjoy this ride,” I tell him.

  He stops with his seat belt in his hand and looks at me. “I promise that this ride will be as good as the ones I give you every night in my bed.” A grin spreads over his gorgeous face, makin
g me laugh again.

  I really like how much I laugh around Liam.

  Another thing I like too much.

  “Is the car new?” I ask. It looks brand-new.

  “I bought her a few years ago. A present to myself when I turned thirty. I don’t get to drive her as much as I’d like though.”

  “Ah, she’s your midlife-crisis car,” I deadpan.

  His lips press together, battling a smile. “Laugh it up. You’ll be thirty one day, and when that day comes, I’ll remind you of this conversation.”

  Everything inside me pauses.

  No, Liam, I won’t.

  But, of course, that isn’t what I say.

  I really shouldn’t say anything. I should just laugh it off and change the direction of the conversation. But the concern that he’s talking like he’ll know me beyond these two weeks has me saying, “You think you’ll know me when I’m thirty?”

  He lets out that smile on his lips. It reaches all the way to his eyes. “If you’re lucky.”

  If I’m lucky.

  I really wish I were.

  Recently, I’ve found myself wishing for a lot of things. Things I have no right to wish for.

  But the heart can be a selfish and foolish thing.

  And mine is certainly both.

  I can feel the conflict inside me between this man in front of me and what I know is right, what I deserve…and it isn’t him. I know that.

  So, I paste on a smile, and I force a laugh, giving a shake of my head, to show that everything is just right when it couldn’t be further from it.

  Liam puts the key in the ignition and then presses a button on the console beside him. The car purrs to life.

  He looks at me. “Hotel first and then my grandpa’s place,” he confirms.

  “Perfect,” I say even though things aren’t.

  Except for him. He’s perfect.

  Liam stops by the hotel, and I run inside with the weekend bag.

  As I’m wearing last night’s clothes since they were all I had with me at Liam’s, I do a quick change and opt to wear a pale pink knee-length summer dress, the color matching my hair. I want to make an effort to look nice since I’ll be meeting his grandpa. My makeup and hair are already done because I showered at Liam’s before we left.