Close to Home

by Janet Gover

  ‘Let’s hope they don’t.’

  Meg agreed. While it would be good to have the kids safe, the police would throw the book at Finn for being on the road without a licence. He had also technically stolen a motorcycle, one that might not even be road legal. Then there was the running away, which Alice was probably very willing to suggest was actually kidnapping. Finn was too young to have a police record that would follow him for the rest of his life.

  ‘Let’s just find them.’

  More time passed as the powerful headlights of the big four-wheel drive cut a band of light on the dark road.

  ‘What’s going to happen about Ron?’

  ‘That’s up to my grandmother. I expect she’ll fire him.’

  ‘And Finn?’

  ‘That’s harder. I’d hate to leave him with his father, but unless the police get brought in, there’s not much we can do.’ ‘What happened to his mother?’

  ‘She left about five years ago. Finn is a lot like her. We all thought it was because Ron was playing around. I’m starting to wonder now if it was something more than that.’

  Meg fell silent. She thought of her own experience. That attack had been devastating, but at least it had come from a stranger. How much harder must it have been for Finn’s mother? To be attacked by someone who was supposed to love you … that was more horrible than she could begin to imagine.

  ‘I wonder why Finn’s mother didn’t take him with her? Maybe she was afraid Ron would follow them?’

  ‘If she was Ron’s target back then, maybe she thought Finn would be safe. And don’t forget Finn’s circus born and bred. If his mother had taken him, I suspect he would have run away and come back to us at the first opportunity. The circus is his home. The only one he has ever known.’

  ‘I wonder if Jenny really understands that.’

  ‘When you are young and in love, things like that don’t really matter.’

  A fast-moving shape loomed on the side of the road. Simon braked and skilfully swung the vehicle to miss the kangaroo. They continued as if nothing had happened. Meg relaxed in her seat, knowing she was safe with Simon.

  Safe?

  As safe from roos on the road as anyone could be at night. But safe in other ways too.

  She was alone with a man in a car on a deserted bush road and she felt safe. This was the first time since the assault—she caught herself. No, it wasn’t. She had been alone with a man since the assault. With Simon. In the shed working on the carousel. Running together and now this. Every time, it was Simon who had been with her. Since that awful day, fear had been her constant companion. No therapy and no pills had been able to overcome that. But Simon had, without trying and without ever giving her one word of advice. Something about him had made her rediscover safety and trust. It felt good.

  ‘How much longer?’ Meg asked.

  ‘They’re scheduled to stop in Tenterfield tonight.’ As Simon spoke, a road sign flashed past. They were approaching Glen Innes. ‘I guess maybe an hour and a half.’

  They passed through the town and turned onto the highway, driving in comfortable silence for a while before Meg spoke again.

  ‘What was it like for you, growing up in the circus?’ ‘When my mother let us come, it was wonderful. It really is like one big family. My grandmother was still performing then. You should have seen her. She was so good. She was the best horse trainer I’ve ever seen. And the audience loved her. If we stayed in one place for more than a day, we often had people coming back for a second or third visit, and it was her they came to see.’

  ‘Did you ever want to be a horse trainer?’

  ‘No. I don’t have the knack …’

  His voice trailed off and Meg wanted to kick herself. Just like her, Simon had bad memories in his past that he didn’t want to reveal. ‘I’m sorry. I don’t mean to pry.’

  ‘No. No. It’s fine. My sister Michelle was good with horses, but like me, all she ever wanted was to be an aerialist. We were twins, you know. We had that special twin thing going. It was a real advantage up there. I was just the muscle. The catcher. But she was something else. She had inherited my grandmother’s grace. She was going to be as big a star as Grand-mère …’

  Meg said nothing. She could see how difficult this was for him. She reached over and laid her hand on his arm. It seemed such a natural thing to do now. Natural for a person who just a few months ago would break into a cold sweat at the mere thought of being alone with a man. One day, when the time was right, she would tell Simon what he had done for her. But tonight was all about Jenny and Finn.

  A few lights appeared in the distance, and a sign flashed past, illuminated for just a few seconds in their headlights, but that was long enough.

  ‘We’re almost in Tenterfield,’ Simon said briskly. ‘A few more minutes and we’ll at least know if Jenny is here with Finn.’

  ‘And if neither of them is here?’

  ‘Then I suspect we’ll be spending a few more hours on the road tonight. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.’

  Finn followed Jenny into the trailer and took a deep breath. This wasn’t one of those modern campers with built-in bathrooms, TV and internet. It was a very basic caravan, with quite a few years and many kilometres showing in the worn flooring and slightly shabby furniture. The faded curtains gave them some, but not much, privacy and the fridge had a loud rumble. He didn’t mind. Growing up in a circus he’d seen better and worse. But for Jenny this van probably seemed like a dump.

  ‘Will this be all right?’ He waited anxiously for her to respond.

  She looked around, her wide, tired eyes taking in the whole of the small living space. ‘It’s fine.’ Her voice was very small.

  ‘Are you okay?’ He wanted to put his arms around her and comfort her, but for the first time since the day they met, he was uncertain.

  ‘Yeah. I’m just tired.’

  It was more than that. He knew it was. He took her hands in his and pulled her onto the couch that filled one wall of the trailer. They sank deeply into the saggy upholstery. ‘Talk to me, Jenny. Please.’

  ‘It’s just—just.’ She looked at him with eyes that were suspiciously wet. ‘Now that we’re here, I’m scared. Are we sure this is the right thing to do?’

  His heart sank at her words, which echoed the thoughts that had been in his head since the moment they had caught the first glimpse of the circus camp in the middle of the park.

  ‘If you want to leave, I can take you.’

  ‘I don’t want to leave you, but they’re going to find us, aren’t they?’

  She was probably right.

  ‘And what happens if they call the cops? That’s just the sort of thing my dad would do. They’d find out you’ve been riding on the road without a licence, Finn. They might arrest you.’

  Finn was inclined to think that was the least of the things he’d be in trouble for. But whatever the cops did to him, he knew one thing for certain: if his father found him, that would be much worse.

  ‘If Madame has her way—and she usually does—they won’t call the cops.’

  ‘But they’ll still make us go back. Or at least make me go back.’

  They would, Finn knew. He was sixteen, and his father had a temper. He didn’t think Ron would bring in the police and the courts to get him back, but neither did he think Ron would just let him go. His father would never accept such defiance. But if it came right down to it, the authorities would never send him back to be beaten again. Not if he had a job and somewhere to live. Jenny’s parents were a different matter. If her parents agreed, she could leave home when she was sixteen. But they’d never agree. Unlike Ron, Jenny’s parents would go to court to force her home.

  But they would face that when it happened. Right now Jenny needed him to be positive and sure. He wasn’t, but he could pretend if it helped her.

  ‘We’ve got an act now. The two of us. Together. It’s like having a job. We’ll earn money. I can look after you. Eventually we can have ou
r own trailer, but until then, this isn’t too bad. Is it?’ Finn looked around again, spotting dust-covered plastic flowers sitting in a metal vase screwed onto the wall. ‘Well, apart from those flowers.’

  Jenny followed his gaze, and her shoulders shook at last with something other than tears.

  ‘They are awful, aren’t they?’

  ‘Tomorrow I’ll get you some real flowers.’ He squeezed her hand and she squeezed his back. A little spark of hope fired in his exhausted heart. The faded green and yellow floral curtains stirred slightly as air wafted through the open window, bringing with it the faint sounds of the circus troupe setting up the big top ready for the next day’s opening performance.

  ‘It’s going to be all right, Jen. It really is. As long as we’re together. I love you. You know that, don’t you?’

  Her eyes widened. ‘You’ve never said that before.’

  ‘But I mean it.’

  ‘I love you too, Finn.’

  He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. He kissed her with all the love and strength in his body. When they broke apart, they were breathing deeply. Jenny’s eyes flashed to the bed on the other side of the trailer. ‘Do you …? Should we …?’

  Yes, he wanted to say. Yes. More than anything else in the world—yes. But then he looked at her tear-streaked face. ‘No. I mean, yes, I want to. But not now. Not like this. You’re tired and upset. And we don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow.’

  ‘Oh.’ Her face fell.

  He stood up and took her hand to guide her to the bed. He turned back the doona and she lay down. He lay beside her and took her in his arms, pulling the covers over them.

  ‘Go to sleep, Jen. I’ll be here when you wake up. I promise.’ He kissed the top of her head.

  With an exhausted sigh, she relaxed into his arms and, within a few minutes, her steady breathing told him she was asleep. Finn closed his eyes, but sleep eluded him. At this moment, he wasn’t sure this plan was going to work. He was afraid they would be found and sent back. But they had to try. He would never forgive himself if they didn’t give themselves a chance.

  CHAPTER

  31

  ‘There they are,’ Simon said. ‘Exactly where they should be.’

  At the end of the street, bright lights on a sports field indicated the place where Le Cirque Chevalier was already setting up for the next day’s performance.

  ‘How are you going to approach this?’ Meg asked.

  ‘I have to talk to Ron first. He’s Finn’s father and the ringmaster, so he’s doubly part of this.’

  ‘What are you going to say?’

  That was a question Simon couldn’t answer, because he didn’t know. Part of him wanted to confront Ron over his treatment of Finn. Maybe even knock him to the ground as he had done to his son, God only knew how many times. But that wasn’t what he and Meg had driven all this way to do. Their first priority had to be finding Jenny and Finn. And getting into a brawl with Ron wasn’t going to do the kids any good, whether they were here or not. Then there was the question of Ron’s ongoing position in the circus. He and his grandmother had made Ron ringmaster because it was easy. They’d been so caught up in their grief, they’d let him do whatever he wanted. Simon felt an additional layer of guilt.

  He slowed down and turned through the open gate of the sports ground. He carefully reversed the ute into a parking spot.

  ‘Ready for a quick getaway?’ Meg asked.

  Neither of them laughed.

  ‘Are you sure you don’t want to wait in the car? Just in case Ron is … awkward?’

  ‘No. I came because I thought Jenny might need me. If she does, I won’t be much use to her in the car.’

  One day, Simon knew, he would tell Meg how very brave he thought she was.

  They walked to the big top, where a large group of people were hard at work under the floodlights. Some of them raised a hand in greeting, and most seemed surprised to see them, but they had more important things to do. At last, Simon spotted Ron standing to the side, giving orders to his crew.

  The ringmaster looked up as Simon and Meg approached and frowned. ‘Simon. I didn’t expect to see you.’

  ‘I didn’t expect to be here, Ron. Can we talk?’

  The ringmaster’s frown deepened. ‘Yeah. Sure. Hang on.’

  Simon and Meg waited while Ron gave precise instructions to a couple of the crew, then the three of them walked away from the others.

  ‘What’s going on?’ Ron asked. ‘Do you know where Finn is?’

  Simon’s question deepened Ron’s frown. ‘He’s here somewhere. Working.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘He better be, or he’ll answer to me.’

  Simon heard Meg catch her breath.

  Ron must have heard her too, because he looked from Simon to Meg and back again. ‘What’s going on here?’

  ‘Jenny Harden is missing.’

  ‘What’s that got to do with me or Finn?’

  ‘Jenny is Finn’s girlfriend.’ Meg spoke for the first time. ‘She was the one who performed with him. She saw you hit him.’

  Ron glared at Meg and Simon moved a little closer, not quite standing between them, but close enough.

  ‘My son is my business,’ Ron said. ‘And as for the girl, I haven’t seen her since the other night.’

  ‘She watched the troupe leave town this morning. You didn’t see her there?’ Simon asked.

  ‘No.’

  ‘Have you seen Finn at all since you left Nyringa?’

  ‘Now you mention it, I don’t think so. But I’ve been busy, and he rode in one of the other trucks. I bet those Mancini boys are somehow mixed up in all this …’

  There was no attempt to hide the threat in his voice. Simon bit back the urge to confront the man about his bullying. Finding Jenny and Finn was all that mattered for now. ‘Can you check if Finn’s here?’

  Ron grunted his assent. He looked around and spotted a roustabout. ‘Jim, go and find my son. I want him here, now.’

  ‘Sure.’

  Simon, Meg and Ron said nothing as they waited. The longer they waited, the more certain Simon was that Finn wasn’t with the circus.

  By the time the man returned alone, the tension in the air was thick enough to touch.

  ‘Well?’ Ron demanded.

  ‘I can’t find him, boss. No-one has seen him since we got here.’

  Beside him, Simon heard Meg’s sigh of relief. He had to agree. There was less danger of a confrontation now. But it also made the task of finding the kids even harder.

  ‘Well, where the fuck is he?’

  The roustabout shrugged and hurried away.

  ‘That bloody motorbike. I bet that’s how he did it.’ Ron set off across the circus camp. Simon and Meg followed.

  The Mancini brothers were sorting their gear beside their trailer. A wariness flashed across the younger brother’s face when he saw Ron approaching. Simon knew what was coming next. Ron tossed back the cover over the equipment on the Mancinis’ truck. There were only two motorcycles there.

  Ron rounded on the younger brother. ‘Where’s that other bike, Dino? Did you give it to Finn?’

  ‘He had money. Not enough, but he’ll pay more later. I trust him.’ There was both defiance and fear on Dino’s face.

  ‘I told you he was not to have that bike.’ Ron took a step forward, and so did Dino’s older brother. Paolo wasn’t a big man. Neither of the brothers was as big as Ron, but both looked very determined. Simon didn’t like the way things were going. It could get very nasty very quickly.

  ‘All right.’ He held up his hands in a placating gesture. ‘This isn’t getting us anywhere. Dino, Paolo … do either of you have any idea where they might have gone?’

  Both brothers shook their heads. Simon wasn’t entirely sure they were telling the truth, but it was pretty clear they weren’t going to say anything, at least not while Ron was standing there with a face like thunder and his hands clenched into fists.r />
  ‘All right. We need to let Madame and Jenny’s parents know. And then we need to figure out what to do next.’

  ‘No cops!’ Ron interjected. ‘I won’t have cops sticking their noses in where they aren’t wanted.’

  Simon wanted to ask Ron if he was afraid of what they might find. The loathing he now felt for the ringmaster was giving rise to a degree of self-loathing too. How could he and Lucienne have placed the circus—and their circus family—in this man’s hands? That mistake would be rectified just as soon as they found Finn and Jenny and brought them safely home.

  ‘We’ll let you know when we find your son,’ Simon said as he turned and led Meg away.

  ‘Now what?’ she asked when they were out of Ron’s hearing.

  ‘I don’t know. They can’t have gone too far. The two of them on that bike. They won’t want to attract the cops, so my guess is they’ll avoid the bigger towns.’

  ‘I think I might have an idea.’ Dino Mancini had caught up with them.

  ‘What?’

  ‘All Finn wanted was to be a stunt rider. His father wouldn’t let him. Maybe he’s gone somewhere else where he can. Another circus.’

  Simon nodded. ‘Thanks, Dino. Look, if Ron gives you any trouble, let me know. All right? As soon as we know the kids are safe, I’ll come and sort out what’s been happening here. Tell everyone—well, tell them I’m sorry if things haven’t been what they should have been. Grand-mère and I were—’

  ‘It’s all right, man. We all understand. But it will be good to have you back.’

  When Dino had left, Meg and Simon got in the ute. They drove a short distance from the circus lot, and then Simon pulled over and reached for his phone. While he dialled his grandmother, Meg looked at her phone as well.

  ‘Simon? Have you found them?’

  ‘No, Grand-mère. They are not with the circus.’ Simon related everything that had happened. ‘We’re looking now for somewhere else they might have gone, another circus.’ As he spoke, Meg held her phone in his direction. ‘Hold on for a second, Grand-mère.’ He took Meg’s phone and looked at the screen. It displayed a circus website with a tour schedule. ‘Grand-mère, Meg has an idea. Cartwright’s Circus is not far away. It’s scheduled for tomorrow at Goondiwindi. They might have gone there. Finn’s probably looking for a job.’