Aberration

by Kyle West

  “Or not,” Isa said. “Defeat is not certain.”

  Shara looked at her, then nodded. “No. I don’t think so, either.”

  Inevitably, everyone looked at me for the final decision. I hated when they did that. As I watched the Sea, I felt sick. Each choice felt wrong in its own way. And yet, I had to make a choice.

  “I won’t abandon Haven,” I said, after a few minutes. “We’ll hold the line there.”

  “And if that line breaks?” Shara asked.

  I didn’t want to think about that. I couldn’t think about that. Tiamat was right that it would be a disaster.

  “There can be no if,” I said. “We have to hold it.”

  Because we all knew what would happen if we didn’t.

  * * *

  All that was left was to inform Tiamat of our decision. All of us stood in front of the massive dragon, where he sat on his cliff flanked by two black-scaled Radaska that were large in their own right. Tiamat’s wings gave a flutter, kicking up a gust of wind that nearly unbalanced me. It didn’t seem as if the Elder King understood his full strength.

  I regret your decision, Elekim. I entreat you, once more, to abandon this folly and march with all speed to the Caverns of Creation, where there is enough food to last years, and a narrow opening that Odium cannot easily break.

  It’s too late, I said. Too much is coming together at Haven to change plans now . . .

  Maybe so, Tiamat said. Though you are right to not trust the Nameless One, he said Haven would fall, in no uncertain terms. The truth is the truth, whatever mouth it is spoken from.

  I still don’t trust him. I felt something of the Nameless One in my dreams while in the Sea of Creation. Something larger was at play, here, and it could be that the Nameless One, for whatever reason, wanted me to not fight at Haven. Tiamat’s further entreaties on that front were only firming my resolve.

  My decision is final. I can’t explain why, but I won’t give Haven up. If I can’t trust my instincts, Tiamat, I’m lost.

  I met Tiamat’s unyielding gaze as best as I could; even if he was on my side, I couldn’t help but feel the difference in our physical power. He stared at me silently, his white orbs burning brightly.

  I continued. I understand your need to stay here and learn more, Tiamat. I understand the need to defend the Sea of Creation. Your work of grappling with the Nameless One to find a weakness is of vital importance. This is your battlefield. Mine, however, is to the south.

  Maybe so, Elekim, Tiamat said. I have said my piece, and seeing that it’s not going to change your mind, I must let you go. I hope you change your mind in the coming days. I fear you are making a terrible mistake.

  No one knows how any of this will end, Tiamat. I would remind you of that.

  If there is one good thing, you gave me hope in humanity once again. Let us pray that my faith will endure long enough to see a world free of the Radaskim.

  I hope so, too. Farewell, Tiamat.

  Tiamat said nothing else as we turned to leave. He probably thought that this was the last he’d ever see of us.

  And for all I knew, he was right.

  Chapter 19

  The flight back to Haven was long, cold, and miserable. We camped in the same spot as we had on our first trip down. Even the ashes of our old fires remained, though the winter snow had almost completely buried them.

  The land was quiet. There was little sign of human activity until we passed out of the Northern Wild for good, where refugee tents were clustered thickly around Laston, the Annajen’s northernmost town of any importance.

  Haven at last came into sight on the night of our second day of travel. We didn’t head for the tree itself, like last time, but directly to where hundreds of tents had been set up on the plain south of the Grand Canyon. I needed to check to see if my parents had made it there safely, along with Lord Harrow’s army.

  Flame’s sharp eyes picked out Harrow’s command tent and set us down nearby. I was so weary I could barely walk. The first thing we did was warm ourselves by the cookfire set up outside his tent. Lord Harrow himself came to join us at the blaze.

  “I assume, since you’ve returned on your dragons, that your ship was not repaired?”

  I rubbed my hands together and held them open to the flames. “We were told that by High Guardian Mian. Have you heard from him?”

  “We received communication from him two days ago. At the time of receiving it, his forces were on the outskirts of Colonia.”

  “That’s quick progress,” I said.

  “His airships should be here within the next day or two,” Harrow said. “His ground forces are tarrying behind to secure Colonia. The Radaskim are gathering fifty miles south of here. Their scouting dragons and crawlers skirmish with our scouts almost every night. Though the men are afraid of their duty, keeping apprised of his movements is of utmost importance.”

  “When will the main assault come, you think?” Fiona asked.

  “Any day now,” Harrow said. “Or any night. Odium is waiting. For what, I don’t know. If I were him, I’d strike before the airships arrive. He surely knows about them by now.”

  An uncomfortable thought occurred to me. “Perhaps that’s what he’s waiting for. If his forces are overwhelming, it might be he wants to destroy us all at once. Including the airships.”

  Harrow grimaced at the thought. “You’re not one to mince words, are you? I would avoid saying that around the men. Their . . . morale is low enough as it is. We’re doing what we can to keep spirits up, but one can’t stop the spread of rumors.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “Odium’s hesitation can only be to our advantage. Better to fight with the ships than without.”

  “We are dealing with a power many times our own,” Harrow said. “Whatever he’s planning, I can’t help but think it’s to his advantage.”

  I decided to keep what I learned from Tiamat to myself. If I told Harrow that the Elder King had prophesied us to lose, that could be information that caused us to lose. In the realm of prophecy, knowing the outcome of an event sometimes was all it took for it to be self-fulfilling. There were several such stories in the Elekai canon of legends.

  Knowing this, I almost wished Tiamat hadn’t said a word. But in the end, knowledge might not even matter. There were just as many stories about how knowledge of a prophecy did nothing to change the outcome.

  “Are my parents safe?” I asked.

  Harrow nodded. “I ordered them to the palace, but they insisted on remaining with their people. Your father means to fight in the battle himself, while your mother refuses to leave his side.”

  Well, I had to change that. “Where are they?”

  “I can have one of my men lead you to them.”

  I nodded to show that’s what I wanted.

  Lord Harrow motioned a soldier over and gave the order. The soldier, a young man that couldn’t have been much older than me, nodded toward us and gestured for us to follow him. We left the dragons, to find food and get some much-needed rest after their long journey.

  We followed the soldier through a maze of tents and campfires. After about five minutes, he came to a halt in front of a plain burlap tent, a little larger than the others around it. Two white-robed Sphere Priests were posted outside, who raised their right fists to their chests in salute upon seeing me.

  “Are they inside?” I asked.

  “They are resting, Elekim,” the priest on the right said. “I can wake them.”

  “No need,” I said. “Let me pass through.”

  “Should we stay out here?” Shara asked.

  “Just wait out here for now,” I said. “Maybe find someplace we can sleep tonight.” My stomach growled at the idea of going to bed on an empty stomach. “And some food.”

  “Shanti?” I heard my mother’s voice from within. “Is that you I hear?”

  “Mom,” I said, ducking into the tent.

  It was dark within, the only light coming from a xen lamp. My mother was
already standing, while my father was still rousing.

  She came to hug me, her shoulders already shaking with sobs.

  “Mom, I’m fine,” I said. “Are both of you okay?”

  “Yes, we’re both fine,” she said. “We were worried that something had happened.”

  “I’m still here.”

  “We’re all alive,” my father said, now standing and coming to embrace me.

  For a moment, all three of us stood there like that. I don’t think any of us knew when we were going to have a chance to be a family again. I just wanted to be young again, to feel protected, instead of being the one doing the protecting. It was too late for all that, though. My childhood had ended long ago, when that dragon at the fair had asked for help.

  I stood back to take them both in, unsure of what to do next. I felt so tired that thinking didn’t come easily.

  Thankfully, my mom stepped in. “This tent is big enough for everyone to sleep in, if some more cots can be found.”

  “That would be nice,” I said.

  Ten minutes later, Lord Harrow had his men bring in enough cots, blankets, and even some leftover food from the officers’ mess earlier. After we ate, I asked for some space, and sat on my cot in the corner, seeking Silence as well as answers. I felt for Alex, but as I suspected, his presence was not forthcoming. I feared he would be difficult, if not impossible, to reach. Either I succeeded and saved him from what he had been forced to do to defeat Rakhim Shal, or I failed, and all of us ended up dying in the end.

  Instead, I sought answers from the same source as Tiamat. It was a long shot, but perhaps the Nameless One was lurking within the bounds of the Xenofold. His mind could project there, though his home was the Xenomatrix that connected the worlds.

  I didn’t let the others know what I was doing. I just wanted to explore, to see if finding him was possible. I lost track of time as I sought answers in the darkness. As night continued, Silence deepened. But the Nameless One was elusive, assuming he was there to be found in the first place.

  In the end, I voiced my frustration.

  Is what you said to Tiamat true?

  Are we going to die here?

  Are you really the neutral arbiter you claim to be? Or do you have another agenda?

  And, last of all:

  What do you want?

  What is your purpose?

  Why do all the Elekai on all the worlds have to die? How does this fulfill your sense of balance?

  Every answer was met with silence. I didn’t expect him to answer, but maybe he had heard my questions. He had to know that I was aware he was a part of all this. I had felt him in my own prophecies, after all.

  By the time I opened my eyes, the others were asleep. I threw the blanket over my body. I watched my mother’s face, who had fallen asleep facing me. I closed my own eyes, letting my exhaustion overtake me.

  Chapter 20

  I awoke to the sound of men talking, cookpots clanging, and horses neighing and whickering. It was still just as dark as before, so I went right back to sleep. The clamor only increased until I was forced to open my eyes to the early daylight. I was the only one still in the tent, sans Isa, who must have been left behind to watch over me.

  “Good, you’re awake,” she said. “There’s a bowl over here for washing.”

  I sat up in my cot, hardly believing I’d slept through everyone getting up. “Why didn’t you wake me earlier?”

  “We tried,” she said. “We decided you needed the rest.” She handed the bowl of water to me. “Everyone is in the command tent.”

  I washed my face while she worked at my hair with a comb. It was getting long enough now to need one. A few minutes later, I threw on a heavy cloak and together, we stepped outside the tent. Isa led the way, and we passed soldiers in armor going about various errands. Most of them gave a nod of respect as we passed.

  We soon entered Lord Harrow’s large, white tent. Everyone was already there – my friends, my parents, along with Lord Harrow and three of his highest-ranking captains.

  “Good morning, everyone,” I said. “Did I miss anything?”

  Some mumbled good morning back, some didn’t. The mood in the tent seemed to be somber, judging by the sullen faces. The food was only half-eaten. By contrast, the coffee, kept warm over a small flame, was mostly gone. My mother poured me a cup, along with milk and sugar, and passed it to me.

  “Did something happen?” I asked, breaking the silence.

  Lord Harrow cleared his throat. “Our scouts report that Odium’s host is on the move north. The bulk of that force is halfway between here and Kalear. We can only assume that those who haven’t fled the area by now are gone.”

  I thought of all those poor, foolish people who had decided not to abandon their homes. How many thousands were already dead, then, and how many more would fall before Odium finally reached Haven?

  “You said he was fifty miles south yesterday. Where do you judge him to be now?”

  “Forty-five miles, give or take,” Harrow said. “He isn’t moving fast, but he is moving relentlessly. Assuming the same pace . . .”

  “We have a little over a week before he’s knocking on our door,” Shara finished.

  “He could be going at this pace deliberately,” my father said, solemnly. “Get us to recognize a pattern, and then change it at the last minute before we’re prepared. We’ve seen how those things move.”

  Lord Harrow nodded. “I was going to voice the same concern, Lord Roshar. We can’t assume we have a full nine days to prepare. Nine days means that Odium would strike after the Shen reinforcements arrive. As a commander, I have difficulty seeing why Odium would allow this. Even with overwhelming force, it would be foolish to not take an advantage.” Lord Harrow pointed down at the map spread on the large wooden table. “As of this morning, I received a message that Guardian Mian’s forces have taken Colonia, finding the city in chaos. He informs us he’s remaining there a couple of days to restore order and install a makeshift government, as well as to gather whatever men he can to join in his march to Haven.”

  “He can accomplish all that in two days?” Shara asked, her tone skeptical.

  “I had the same question, but Mian anticipated it and answers it in his letter,” Harrow said, pointing to a piece of pristine, white paper, made of such a quality that was all but unseen in the Red Wild, but probably quite common in Shenshi. “He tells us not to worry, that Shen is overseeing the governance of Colonia and is quite experienced in the matter.” Harrow cleared his throat. “Apparently, they have some sort of machine through which they can communicate to Shen. They have another one of these machines on their flagship, the Proudwing.”

  “It would appear that Colonia is no longer a sovereign nation,” Fiona said. “Two hundred and fifty years after the founding of the Covenant.”

  Lord Harrow continued, paying little mind to this observation, even if several other people noted it. “Though Shen is keeping an eye on the city, Guardian Mian proclaims the city of Colonia to be taken in your name.”

  Harrow looked at me meaningfully, and I knew from that look that he, too, believed in my identity fully now, even if there had been doubts before. The way those brown eyes regarded me told me that he thought he was seeing a new person.

  “Not the way I expected it to happen,” I said, feeling that the others expected me to say something in honor of the event. “But a prophecy fulfilled is a prophecy fulfilled.”

  Lord Harrow nodded. “I’ve allowed my officers to spread the news among the men. It will give them heart. The fact that there is an army fifty thousand strong, complete with airships, coming to our aid, is doing wonders for morale.” Lord Harrow’s expression darkened. “However, General Tertullian remains a thorn in our side. Despite the impossibility of his escape, he still refuses to budge from his position or share the supplies he’s hoarded.”

  “He must be dealt with,” I said.

  No one voiced a way in which that might occur. I thought o
ver everything that was discussed while I drained my coffee and finished my food.

  Everyone else went back to looking at the map, where many small, rounded stones had been placed at various points, signifying the placement of armies. Twenty red stones lined the Grand Canyon south of Haven. Forty green stones, easily counted because they were in eight groups of five, were placed not far southeast of Haven, clearly representing the Novan Forces. Fifty blue stones stood in Colonia, the Shen forces. Besides this, there were various other colored stones strewn on the map in the northern cities of Mongar, Highgrove, and even Laston. I surveyed everything, trying to make sense of it all. Each stone had to represent a thousand men, since those were the only numbers that added up.

  Finally, to represent the Radaskim forces, was a single, massive, black stone. No one could be bothered to put that many small stones in the southern wild, because such a task would be pointless, especially when the actual numbers were not known. At the last minute, I also noticed another large stone east of the map, probably meant to represent the Eastern Kingdoms.

  I pointed to that stone. “Is there something you’re not telling me about that?”

  “Yes,” Harrow said. “I was just getting to that. The United Eastern Kingdoms have promised they are now on their way with all speed, and have been for several weeks. At the time the letter was received, they were somewhere in the Barbarous Lands.”

  “Wait,” I said. “When did this news come in?”

  “A bird came only last night, after you had gone to bed,” Harrow said. “Apparently, there have been several other messages sent before, but none of them reached us.”

  “May I read the letter?”

  “Of course,” Harrow said, digging through a pile of papers. Once he found the correct one, he handed it to me.

  About to begin our journey across the Barbarous Lands. Make sure there’s enough food there for all, as said in previous letters. And please respond in acknowledgement to this letter’s receipt. The men are uneasy, and unsure why we have abandoned their homes. It’s going to be a long journey yet.