Aberration

by Kyle West

  But the moment had passed, and already, the leaders were dispersing to their camps to begin the long, final march north.

  Chapter 53

  Within the hour, the army had begun its march north, following the Plains People tribes toward Ragnarok Crater. I let Flame fly with the rest of the dragons and instead searched for my parents among the Elekai baggage train. I hadn’t seen them since Mongar and wanted to make sure they were safe and sound.

  After asking around a bit, I found my father leading a horse and cart filled with supplies, with my mother resting in the back. She was asleep and bundled up among some sacks of food. I was a bit envious at her looking so cozy in there.

  I approached my father first, who broke into a smile and hugged me as I approached.

  “At last, you’ve come to see us,” he said.

  I nodded back toward the cart. “Is she all right?”

  He nodded. “Tired. I think she worked harder stressing about the battles than both of us did fighting it.”

  His beard was coming in fully and was more gray than brown now. When had my father gotten so old? He’d aged more in the past year than he had during the entire war between Colonia and Nova. That seemed a lifetime ago, but really it was only a little over a year.

  He watched me, his brown eyes seeming to sparkle. “It’s good to see you safe, Shanti. I hear we’re going to the Crater, now, on your orders. I’ve always wondered what was this far north.” He looked around. “I can tell you right now I’m missing the warm sands back home.”

  “Here, there’s not much to look at,” I said. “Just wait till you see the Crater, and the city.”

  “I can’t wait,” he said. “It’ll be a sight to share with you, daughter.”

  I felt a stab of guilt at that, and sadness. And it made the conversation that was to come all the harder. I didn’t want to ruin things for him . . . for either of them.

  “The Crater is our best hope,” I said. “It’s a long way, but what else can we do?”

  “Run, if you’re General Tertullian,” my father said distastefully.

  “I tried everything to convince him,” I said. “None of it worked.”

  “Some men cannot be reasoned with,” my father said. “Only pity the men who must follow him.”

  “Maybe he’s right, for all we know,” I said. “Maybe trying to make our stand in the Crater is completely foolish. At the very least he’ll live a few months longer than us.”

  “Not trying when you still have the capacity to fight is the worst kind of shame,” my father said. “Tertullian is a tired old man set in his ways. He’s an expert at what he knows. Colonia’s legions were slaughtered against him during the war. But up here, he’s out of his depth, no longer first in command. How that must rankle him, to not be first.”

  “Feels as if you know the man.”

  My father chuckled at that. “No. Not so much as that. But I know men like him, and you find men like him at all levels of life. Especially in the army. It’s hard enough for a grown man to take orders from a teenager, Shanti, even if she’s not an ordinary one.”

  I could see his point. “If it’s about proving myself . . .”

  “You’ve done plenty, I know. But how much did he see you fight? He showed up at the end of the battle, when the day was almost won. He probably thinks he himself saved the day, arrogant bastard that he is.”

  “If that’s what he thinks, he’s an idiot,” I said.

  “He is,” my father agreed. “The capable idiots are the worst kind.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “The man is a genius when it comes to organization and troop movements. I have no doubt he can escape all the way back to Nova as long as Odium doesn’t break through Mongar soon.”

  “You really think so?”

  My father nodded. “It’s a real shame. If you’re looking for a man who can organize supplies and troop movements well, and make sure the Caverns are stocked full, it’d be him.”

  I sighed. “And I let him walk away.”

  “No one can force a man to do anything against his will,” my father said. “Either he resents you for it and sabotages you, or he spends all his energy dreaming of revenge. We needed Tertullian willing to help. Nothing else.”

  “But he chose to flee,” I said. “If I can’t make him help us, what can I do?”

  My father thought for a while as we walked side by side. “I don’t know, Shanti. Some things just can’t be controlled, and another man’s choices is one of them. I guarantee you, he will suffer for those choices. Him, and all his men.”

  “I want to stop him.”

  My father smiled. “You can’t stop stupidity.”

  “Shanti?”

  I turned to see that my mother was now awake.

  “Go talk to her, Shanti,” my father said. “I’ll still be here.”

  I stopped to let the cart catch up and climbed in the back with her.

  “Come under here,” she said, shifting the blankets. “You’ll freeze.”

  “I’m used to this weather now, Mom,” I said.

  “Well, I’m not,” she said. Her face was pale, but she was smiling. “I’m glad to see you well. I knew you were alive but didn’t want to disturb your sleep. How you slept!”

  “You saw me?” I asked. “You could have woken me up!”

  “Some of the Plains folk took us to your tent. I almost woke you, but a kiss on your cheek had to be enough. You needed your rest, and there was much we had to do ourselves. So many people demand your time now . . .”

  “There’s always time for family,” I said.

  My mother was quiet, seeming to be lost in her own thoughts. “I already know what you have to do, Shanti.”

  I was struck silent. “You do?”

  She nodded. “Your father told me.”

  “I didn’t tell him anything,” I said. “I only told my friends. I . . . was going to tell you, just now. I guess I was stalling. What I have to say isn’t easy.” I frowned in confusion. “How did he find out?”

  “He had a dream about it this morning,” my mother said. “Unlike any dream he’s ever had, he said.”

  I watched my mother’s face. She hadn’t outright said what I had to do, so there was a chance they didn’t truly know. But if my father had seen it in a dream . . .

  “He hides it well,” I said. “He mentioned nothing to me.”

  “It pains him,” my mother said. “More than you could know. He’d rather pretend. It’s easier that way.”

  “What happened in the dream?”

  “You left on a journey. He saw you walk into a shining sea.” My mother’s voice grew thick as she described it. “He didn’t know if it meant your death, or something else.”

  I nodded. “That’s . . . pretty much the gist of it.”

  “But the dream didn’t explain why,” my mother said. She looked at me, tears forming in her eyes. “Why must you do this, Shanti? Whatever it is?”

  How to even explain? Even my friends hadn’t wanted me to go, at least, not alone. How much more would my parents try to stop me? It would only make things more difficult.

  “It’s the only way I know to stop him, Mom,” I said, “I’ve been having dreams, too. Dreams of another world. On that world is the source of Odium’s power. If we can just stop it, then we can stop the Radaskim for good. But that means making a journey I can’t come back from. It’s possible, using the Xenofold.”

  “And when you get to this other world,” my mother continued. “Then what?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know. There’s this Tree. I feel its power. Terrible power. I know that if it can be destroyed, then maybe . . .” I sighed. “I don’t know, Mom. All I know is that I need to go there. I don’t really have much else to go on . . .”

  “Where are these dreams coming from, anyway?” she asked. “What if they’re just a trick to get you off this world, where you’re needed the most?”

  It was a possibility I hadn’t con
sidered. I already knew Odium had the ability to get inside my head, and to even send me dreams. But were these dreams from him?

  “The tree is real,” I said, after thinking about it. “That world is real. I know that as much as I know that this world is real. Whether it’s all a trick to get me away from this world’s battle . . .” I shook my head. “I have no true way of knowing that, but my heart says that these dreams aren’t coming from Odium. I’ve dreamed his dreams before, and there’s always an undercurrent of hatred and malice. I felt both of those in these dreams, but Odium wasn’t the source of that hatred. The tree was. Something tells me that everything that is them is embedded in that tree.”

  The Tree of Wailing, it had been called in my dream. I never wanted to go to such a place.

  “I see,” my mother said.

  Something in her tone told me that she didn’t see. We said nothing for a long time. She grew so quiet that I was thinking she had fallen asleep again.

  But then, she gave a small laugh.

  “What’s so funny?” I asked.

  “Sorry. I was just remembering the night we found you, for some reason.”

  “What made you think of that?”

  “I don’t know,” she said. “Sometimes, when I’m sad, I try to think of something happy instead. Usually, that’s you. Of course, we knew you were special from the minute we found you. We knew what you were, but we couldn’t just leave you there. There was something in your eyes that made me want to claim you. I thought that maybe, as the years went by, maybe you wouldn’t show your powers. Be one of them. Not everyone of Elekai blood manifests it, you know.” She paused in remembrance. “It was too much to hope for. You didn’t belong to me. You belonged to the Elekai. You belonged to the Xenofold. And, as I came to learn recently, you belonged to another time.”

  She took my hand as she looked at me, tears forming in her eyes. “Though I raised you as my own, I have no claim over you, Shanti. But I will always be your mother. Your fate has been decided for you by things beyond me and your father. I can see that much. But all the same . . . something about this feels wrong to me.”

  “Feels wrong? How so?”

  “I’ve half a mind to stop you,” she said. “But I know I can’t. I always knew what you were, Shanti. I loved you all the same.”

  “I love you too, Mom,” I said. I almost told her I’d try to return, if I could, but I didn’t want to give her false hope. If I made this journey, I knew I was as good as dead.

  “Just be careful, Shanti. Remember a mother’s wisdom, if nothing else. This may be your course, but it isn’t what it seems on the surface. You are being drawn by whatever is giving you these dreams. It’s because this darkness, whatever it is, thinks it will win.”

  Her words gave me a chill. “What makes you say that?”

  “A mother’s intuition,” she said. “Which, by the way, rarely fails.”

  She hugged me, and we sat side by side for a few more minutes. I didn’t want to go, and I was tempted to stay longer, but I felt a sense of urgency building within me. I didn’t know where that urgency was coming from, but I knew it was time to get moving.

  “I sense your restlessness,” my mother said. “Go give your father a kiss. He’ll know why. But don’t you dare say goodbye to him. It . . . might break him.”

  I nodded, fighting back the tears that wanted to come to my eyes. “Okay.”

  In the end, my mother was the one who shifted the blankets to let me out. She hugged me and kissed me on the cheek, and then I landed on the ground and made myself walk beside the cart. As I watched my mother’s face, I wondered if it was the last time I’d ever see her. If the journey was what I thought it was, then surely, it would be.

  “Remember me,” she said. “Remember my advice. I love you. Always.”

  “I will,” I said, the tears finally coming. “I promise.”

  I couldn’t bring myself to say goodbye, and I supposed she couldn’t, either. Walking faster than the pace of the cart, where my father was leading the mules, was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I hated seeing her cry.

  When I caught up to him, he looked at me. Seeing my emotional state, he wrapped an arm around me. “No need to explain.”

  I nodded, breaking down and crying. My father pulled the mules to a stop and embraced me fully, neither of us saying a word. Other carts and families marched past us, staring with widened eyes.

  “We’ll fight for you here, even as you fight for us there,” he said. “You’re a soldier, just like your father.” This was met with another burst of tears on my part. “I hate that you are, but I can’t deny it. I’m proud of you, Shanti. More than you’ll ever know. Just . . . try to make it back, okay? Don’t ever give up. We’ll always be here.”

  I cried into his chest, never wanting to let go. “Okay. I’ll try.”

  We pulled apart, and he gave me a kiss on the cheek. In a rare show of emotion, he was crying, too.

  “I love you, Shanti,” he said.

  “I love you, too. I’ll see you later, then?”

  He smiled. “See you later.”

  I turned to go, making a point not to look back. That would only make things harder. As snow began to fall, other carts and people marched by. I threw my hood over my head to hide my face. I didn’t want anyone to see my tears.

  Chapter 54

  I walked to where my friends were marching with the main Elekai column. The sun was already lowering, the Army only making it a few miles north for the day. Progress was progress, however, and even a few miles would make the difference in reaching Ragnarok Crater before the Radaskim.

  I privately approached most of the leaders in the Elekai army, letting my intentions be known. Most were incredulous that I was going north on my own at such a pivotal moment. I did my best to explain my reasons, and they mostly understood, even if they didn’t like it. I also informed them that Elder Tellor would be assuming overall command of the Elekai and Eastern forces, and that any decisions he made were final. To my surprise, even Harrow accepted that, and wished me luck on the journey north.

  When all that was done, it was just the inner circle, eating aboard Odin, which Pallos had landed outside the army’s evening camp. The reality of what we were about to do was only now setting in. All the goodbyes had been said. Within the hour, Pallos would be ferrying us north, and shortly after, we’d be entering the Caverns of Creation to enact Tiamat’s plan.

  The journey to Askalon would be beginning all too soon.

  “This is really happening,” Shara said. She was the first to speak, after draining the rest of her bowl of stew.

  “Last chance to back out,” I said.

  All of them looked at me, as if insulted.

  “Did you forget our conversation last night?” Fiona asked.

  Heads nodded all around. So, all of them were still committed. All of them were willing to give up their lives for the slim chance of stopping this.

  “Will the army be safe without us?” Isa asked.

  “I don’t know,” I said. “We’ll be gone before we ever get the chance to see it arrive. But I trust Elder Tellor to lead everyone safely north. If there’s anyone who can do it, it’s him.”

  “How are you feeling?” Shara asked.

  How to answer that question? “I feel . . . numb to it. But underneath that numbness . . . fear. I’m a little sick thinking about it, to be completely honest.”

  “Me, too,” Isa said.

  “We’re doing something no one has ever done before,” Isaru said. “We’re traveling to another world. If we weren’t afraid of that, we’d be inhuman.”

  “I could never do it,” Pallos said, without shame. “But what I can do is get you there.”

  “Not yet,” I said, coming to another decision. I had originally intended to go to the Crater straight away, but for the first time in a while, we had a chance for rest. It felt worth it to stay, at least for one more night, despite the urgency of our mission. If we were too tired to
reach the Sea of Creation itself, then we wouldn’t be losing any time. Better to sleep in our beds one last time in comfort.

  “It’s night already, and the journey will only take a few hours. Let’s sleep here on the ship tonight, get a good night’s rest, and then set off in the morning.”

  Shara chuckled ironically. “You’re talking as if any of us will be getting sleep tonight.”

  In my heart, I knew Shara was probably right. Almost every night I’d been having dreams, and I didn’t think tonight would be any different.

  “It’s worth a try,” I said. “Ragnarok Crater will still be there tomorrow.”

  No one offered any argument, so I considered the matter settled.

  We stayed up a bit after that, talking of other things, some drinking tea, others coffee. Isaru went to bed first, followed by Isa, leaving Shara, Fiona, Pallos, and me in the wardroom. The three of them continued talking after I called it a night.

  Once inside my cabin, I was too exhausted to even undress. I lay down on my old, familiar bed, and despite Shara’s doubts, found myself asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

  * * *

  My dreams came soon to torment me. Everything was in complete darkness, and out of it came visions and horrors that couldn’t have just been my imagination. Besides the crawlers and the Radaskim dragons, there were other monstrosities: giant worms with thousands of teeth, swarms of flying wasps with scythed arms, spiders with legs twice the height of a human.

  I ran from all of them over a cracked hellscape, only seeing far enough to reach the next monster lying in wait. But more horrifying than all of this was the feeling that I was being watched by him.

  He was inside my mind and clawing it insidiously from the inside out. I felt him there, trying to probe my secrets.