Aberration

by Kyle West

  Say it, the Nameless One said. Say the words, and it will be done.

  Remember, another voice said.

  You must remember . . .

  Speak the words, the Nameless One said. I felt his impatience. His desperation. Why was he so desperate? Why did he want me to say the words, and to mean them?

  It is the way out, he said.

  “No,” I said, speaking aloud.

  I heard my voice. I had spoken it, rather than thinking it. The sound of that single, defiant word seemed to resound infinitely into the darkness, threatening to shatter it entirely.

  I wasn’t just the fifth light. I was Shanti Roshar. I was Elekim. I was Anna Reborn.

  “I won’t say the words, Nameless One,” I said. “We are here. We are ready to leave this place. You have to let us out.”

  The Nameless One was quiet for a long while. But soon, I felt his presence depart.

  The darkness began to brighten, and the light coalesced into images.

  My eyes opened onto another world.

  Chapter 60

  Light entered my eyes for the first time in centuries. For a terrible moment, I felt the weight of all those years. But like the figment of a dream, it slipped beyond me until it was forgotten. All I felt was old, but when I raised my hands in front of me, they were the same as they had always been – young, though worn, and paler than usual.

  I had woken up countless times like this. Always, it turned out to be a dream within the void between worlds. I didn’t trust it, even if I had learned that all those dreams had a similar feeling that was absent here. And unlike those times, I was wearing the same clothing I had worn when I entered the Xenofold on Earth.

  So, how to tell if this was real or not? The truth was, I couldn’t. But I knew something now that I hadn’t known in all those years spent in hibernation. The Nameless One had tried to keep us from coming here, and learning that fact had somehow ended the torment of our journey.

  For the first time, I took in my surroundings. I sat alone beside a still pool surrounded by pink xen, in a cave that could have just as easily been on Earth. Perhaps we had never left the planet after all. I could sit here until I died, and the time that passed would feel like a breath in comparison to what I had just experienced.

  I did sit there for a while, hours at least, my brain trying to piece together what had just happened. I reached for Silence to do so but found that the Xenofold here could not be penetrated. That was my first clue that we were no longer on Earth. Eventually, my mind seemed to accept that there was no understanding what had just happened to me. Just a long sleep before awakening here.

  It was a conclusion I was more than comfortable with. Already the images of the darkness and years of torment were vanishing, and all I could remember was my life from before, on Earth. The reasons for our journey were returning to me.

  The Tree of Wailing. I had to find it. The Tree held the Aberration, the key to ending the Radaskim once and for all.

  But now that I remembered my goal, I had to find the others. Had they made it here safely?

  I stood up, keeping my right hand on the hilt of my sword, which had also traveled with me here. I had been recreated exactly as I had been before, down to the clothing I wore and the weapon I carried. I drew a deep breath, filling my lungs with the air of this alien world. It felt no different than the air on Earth. Thicker, perhaps, with some strange smells. The xen underneath, I noticed, was of a rougher variety than the kind back home, but it was still xen. There seemed to be no immediate threat looming.

  A path led out from the cave, away from the ichor pool I was sitting by. I followed it, hoping it would lead me to my friends.

  * * *

  I wandered through curving tunnels, feeling my way more than seeing. Normally, being alone in such a place would be terrifying, but instead, I felt nothing. In the back of my mind, though I could no longer consciously recall it, I remembered that I had gone through something that brought me to the depths of despair. No fear from this place could compare to that.

  But the very air sizzled with this world’s hostility. This was the rotten heart of the Radaskim, and I would destroy it, or die trying.

  “Shanti?”

  I turned to see Isa sitting beneath the spreading top of a giant mushroom growing from the xen. She looked at me, seeming a bit befuddled. “That is you, right? That’s what sounds right to me.”

  “It’s me,” I said. I didn’t question the fact that she had almost forgotten my name. After as long as we’d spent in darkness, I couldn’t blame her. My memories were hazy myself, though I remembered enough to know her name and face.

  “Where are we?” she asked, standing up.

  “I think we’re here,” I said. “Askalon.”

  We both looked around the cavern we were in, hardly large enough to contain the giant mushroom, glowing an ethereal blue and providing the only light. Fronds hung from its edge, waving back and forth gently, though there was no wind.

  “I think this is real,” Isa finally said. “Not like the other dreams.”

  I was beginning to think so, too, though there was no absolute way to be sure. “We should move on. The others could be in danger.”

  “The others?”

  I looked at her. “Are you feeling okay, Isa?”

  She nodded. “Of course. I’m finding it hard to remember things, but I feel fine.”

  “Your memory will return to you,” I said, hoping it was the truth. “Do you know why we’re here, at least?”

  Her mouth opened to answer, but then she gave a sudden frown. “I . . . I can’t remember that either.” Her face reddened from embarrassment. Then, she looked at me, confused. “How can that be?”

  I shook my head. “The journey took something from all of us.”

  I kept to myself something Tiamat had said. He doubted whether the others could have even made the journey. Perhaps it had taken its toll in the form of her memories.

  “I remember you,” she said. “At least, your name and your face.”

  “But nothing else?”

  Her face remained blank. “No. Aside from my name . . .” She paused. “Wait. You said there were others?”

  “Yes. Isaru, Fiona, and Shara.”

  The names seemed to mean nothing to her. “Maybe I’ll remember,” she said, lamely. “You should lead on. Looks like there’s a path out.”

  “One more thing. Before we go.”

  Isa arched an eyebrow.

  “What were you doing under that tree?”

  She blinked. “I . . . I don’t know. Waiting, I suppose. It seemed the natural thing to do.”

  “Okay. We should go.”

  She followed me out of the cavern, which soon opened into what seemed to be a lush forest. The flora was utterly alien to anything on Earth, though it was like the plant life that could be found in the Red Wild. Large stalks with bell shaped openings loomed over either side of the path, while thick, silver-barked trees spread high above, interlocking with one another as if they were all part of the same organism. Mushrooms and pods sprouted from the xen beneath, waving back and forth as we passed. A strange hum sounded throughout the air, barely detectable. The resonance vibrated me to my very bones. The air smelled pungent and spicy, the aroma so thick that it stung my lungs. I was worried I was being poisoned, but it didn’t seem to be do anything to me other than make me lightheaded.

  Besides, there was nothing I could do about it. All I could do was keep walking.

  The path twisted and turned, weaving through trees, crossing rushing streams. I felt strangely light, as if the gravity here was less than Earth. I experimented with this by jumping. It took noticeably longer to fall back down than it would have back home.

  We walked for a long time. I didn’t know whether we were still underground or on the surface. The light remained the same; bright enough to see by, but only a small amount of that light seemed to be coming from above.

  I soon got my answer when the trees came
to a sudden end and we found ourselves standing on a high cliff, overlooking a golden land of rolling hills, lakes, and streams, over which hung a yellow mist that seemed to glow from within. The sky above, like the land below, was of burnished gold, though no brightness came from it. It took me a moment to realize that it was no sky, but the top of the cavern, which was shining either of itself, or from light reflecting off the ground. The effect, however, made it seem as bright as midday, to the point where I had to shield my eyes a bit.

  The sight before me was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I couldn’t believe we were in the right place, that this was Askalon, the Radaskim’s seat of power. Besides the beauty, there were no actual Radaskim here. There were plants, yes, and these floating motes that shimmered in the air might have been some near-microscopic form of life. Other than that, though, it was just us.

  The planet, or at least this part of it, was a paradisal garden with nothing to enjoy it.

  My attention was taken from the vista below by some movement to my right. I reached for my sword, just as Isaru’s head appeared, surfacing from some long, golden grass. His expression was drowsy, as if he had been woken. His silver hair was in disarray, and the right side of his face encrusted with the pebbles from where he had lain on the ground. He groaned, brushed off his face, and then peered up at us.

  “Isaru,” Isa said, her voice holding none of its usual warmth. She seemed to remember only his name. I hoped, in time, that they would remember the love they shared. That would have been a terrible thing to lose.

  “I should recognize you,” he told her, closing his eyes and holding a hand to his forehead. “My head’s ringing something fierce.”

  “We’ve made it,” I said, walking up to him and offering a hand. He looked at it, as if not sure what to do. But, as if remembering that he was supposed to take it, he reached for it and let me pull him up.

  “Shanti,” he said. “I know you.”

  “And Isa?”

  Isaru’s expression had the same blankness as Isa’s. “You seem familiar. As if you were in one of my dreams.”

  “I have the same feeling,” Isa said.

  I looked from one to the other, finally settling on Isa. “Both of you knew enough of each other to remember names.”

  She nodded. “He seems . . . familiar.” Her cheeks colored, as if there were still some lingering feelings for him on her side. Feelings she didn’t seem to understand.

  “What do you remember, Isaru?” I asked.

  He blinked at my question. “My name. Where I’m from. Your name.” He looked around. “Where is this place? It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen.”

  “Askalon,” Isa said. “That’s what Shanti said, at least.”

  “We’ve come here to stop the Radaskim and to save Earth,” I said. “We took a long journey that took a lot out of us, even memories.”

  “I guess so,” Isaru said. “I don’t know what it is I’m even supposed to remember.”

  “Me neither,” Isa agreed.

  “There’s still two more of us to find,” I said. “I have a feeling they’re somewhere down there.”

  I pointed to the land below, basking in golden light.

  “Where are we going after we find them?” Isaru said.

  I looked at them both. “The Tree of Wailing.”

  Neither of them questioned me, following me as I continued down the path that cut its way down the cliffside.

  Chapter 61

  The descent to the valley floor didn’t take as long as I thought. The lightness of this world meant that we could go down quickly, taking risks we never could have back home. Up above, the forest disappeared, until all that was left was the glittering white cliffside and the trail carved into it.

  I didn’t understand the purpose of the trail. There was no one on this world as far as I could see, and the years should have worn it down to nothing. But this world also had a changeless quality. Things here, it seemed, could remain as they had for millennia. The very air seemed still, aside from the subtle hum that never ceased.

  “What is that sound?” Isaru asked, once we’d reached the bottom. “Or is it only my imagination?”

  “It’s not just you,” I said. “It’s coming from this place.”

  “From where?”

  “Somewhere up ahead,” I said, nodding toward the distance. “We’ll have to find it.”

  “Do you think it’s what we’re looking for?” he asked.

  “I don’t know,” I said. “My gut says we need to follow it.”

  I sat down on a rock. I was hungry. I didn’t recognize the feeling at first; I hadn’t felt it for thousands of years, at least not this real, pressing hunger that never relented. If this was a dream, it was the most vivid one I’d had yet.

  But first, we needed to find Shara and Fiona. This landscape was much wider than the plateau above. It wouldn’t be easy, and without a Xenofold to connect to, it would be impossible to sense them.

  Or would it? I reached for Silence, and while I couldn’t feel any sort of Xenofold, I could feel something familiar across the hill in the distance.

  “I think we’ll find something this way,” I said.

  We walked on, both Isa and Isaru following me up the hill.

  “How can a place like this exist?” Isa asked. “I’m not even sure we are on the planet surface.”

  “We’re not,” I said. “We’re just in a really big cavern. Bigger than the Caverns of Creation. That light just makes it seem like it goes on forever, because its obscuring the edges.”

  “But shouldn’t it collapse on itself?” she asked. “How can something this big even hold up?”

  I couldn’t answer that question. “Why do you ask? It’s standing, and it seems to have been standing for a long time. Isn’t that enough?”

  “I think what she’s getting at,” Isaru said, “is that none of this can be real.”

  We continued across the plain. When I turned to look back, the white cliff was small with distance, stretching from left to right. The sharp smells of the forest were replaced with the earthy aroma of grass and dirt. The thick air was humid and warm, but that warmth seemed to come from the ground, not the sky, another sign we were deep underground and not on the surface.

  After another low hill, we descended into a small valley, at the bottom of which was a circle of broken stones covered with pink lichen, the entire circle being perhaps fifty paces in diameter. In the center of that circle lay a blond-haired woman, sprawled on her stomach.

  Shara.

  I ran down the lushly grassed hill until I was within the circle. I felt power, and even danger, from those stones, but disregarded it for the moment. I wanted to see if my friend was okay.

  When I knelt and touched her, she didn’t wake like the others. Her skin was cold, but it was impossible for her to be dead, since her arm was twitching, as if asleep.

  “Shara? Shara, please wake up.”

  There was no response. The humming grew in intensity. This was the place the sound was coming from, not the Tree.

  Isaru and Isa had caught up to me, each of them regarding Shara.

  “What happened to her?” Isa asked.

  I shook my head. “I don’t know. Maybe she’s still stuck in limbo, in the void.”

  “Something’s wrong about this place,” Isaru said, looking at the stones.

  “Someone’s coming,” Isa said.

  I looked up to see Fiona standing at the top of the hill. She was now running down toward us, her face full of alarm and screaming something.

  “What is she saying?” I asked.

  “Move,” Isaru said.

  He grabbed Isa and us both and pulled us toward the outside of the circle.

  “Wait . . .” I said.

  I felt a crackling of energy, as if lightning were about to strike. Isaru pulled me with greater insistence, until we passed the arch of the stones closest to Fiona. The stones were glowing now, more intensely with each passing moment,
until they were too bright to look at.

  “Stay out of there,” Fiona said, catching up to us, breathless. “It’ll kill you.”

  “But Shara . . .”

  I had half a mind to go back in there, but there was a sudden, sizzling crack, followed by a thunderous boom that released a force so great that it pushed all of us back. I was flattened on the grass and couldn’t move a muscle while it passed over me in a gale. I couldn’t even breathe as my heart pounded within me.

  Just when I thought I would die like that, that it would never let up, I felt the pressure decrease. I sucked in air greedily, lying on my side like a wounded animal. Slowly, my heart rate went down, and I forced myself to stand. The others were also getting up. The hum was gone, and for the first time, I could think clearly.

  “Everyone okay?”

  But all of them were looking toward the center of the stones.

  Shara had vanished.

  * * *

  Despite my friends’ protests, I ran to the center of the circle again. The golden grass waved from the breeze that had kicked up and was patted down in the center where Shara had been laying. I knelt there, feeling the ground. My friends came to stand behind me.

  I couldn’t believe that she was really gone. Had she just been an apparition? I had felt her though. She had been as real as me.

  I knelt there a moment longer, unaccepting and unbelieving. If a sudden influx of light could make Shara disappear just like that, then what other dangers lurked in this place?

  “She isn’t dead,” I said. “She can’t be.”

  “We should move on,” Isaru said, avoiding my point. “Before this thing takes another one of us.”

  We followed his advice and withdrew from the circle. We climbed the hill opposite the direction we came from. There, I sat down and stared at the stone circle.

  “Maybe it’s a portal,” I said. “Maybe she was taken somewhere.”

  The others had no answer for that. I got the feeling that they thought I was trying to cope with Shara’s disappearance.