Aberration

by Kyle West

  “We’re somewhere in the Radaskim Xenofold,” I said.

  “The others?”

  It was the question I’d been dreading. “We haven’t found Fiona yet. Shara . . .”

  Isa finally withdrew from Isaru and looked back at me.

  “We’ve been going through these trials,” I said. “We’ve survived two so far. In the last one, though . . .”

  “Shara’s gone,” Isaru said, realizing the truth, if not the full extent of it.

  I swallowed. “Yes.”

  It would be so easy to say nothing more, to not let him think of me as a monster. I couldn’t bring myself to look at either of them. I knew Isa wouldn’t reveal what had truly happened. I could say nothing, and he would never have to know.

  “It’s my fault,” I said, finally. “I was faced with a terrible decision.”

  “How was it your fault?” he asked.

  “I let her die,” I said. “I could have stopped everything. Could have stopped her from being tortured, could have stopped all these terrible things from happening.” Tears were forming in my eyes. It was almost impossible to speak. “It was the price I paid. The sacrifice. Not my sacrifice, but hers. She had no choice. I allowed her to die so that I could get closer to the center of this place.”

  Isaru’s face grew white as I explained it. It was a while before he could bring himself to speak. “What would have happened if you refused to do it?”

  I swallowed. “This would have ended. All of us would have faded to nothingness.” Isa stared at me, willing me to say more. “It would have been an easy death for us all. And if we fail now, then we’ll go to join the Tree, too. I wasn’t just killing Shara, Isaru. I was dooming her to torture. She’s there right now because of me.”

  I began crying again, but there was no one to offer sympathy. Both just watched, both unwilling and unable to provide comfort.

  I forced myself to quiet, though it was hard. All our gazes turned toward the knife, which was glinting under the flickering light of the torches set in the wall.

  “What is this supposed to be?” Isaru asked. “What are we supposed to do with this?”

  It was a question the rest of us hadn’t dared to ask. I didn’t want to think of the answer.

  “Maybe I can try picking it up,” Isa said.

  “No,” I said. “It could be dangerous. Let me do it.”

  “It’s important for you to reach the end,” Isa said. “Let me risk myself.”

  Before any of us could argue, she stood and walked up to the pedestal, reaching for the knife. As her fingers curved around the hilt, she went completely still. After a moment, she cried out, letting loose of the blade as if it had burned her.

  “What is it?” Isaru asked, reaching for her. “What’s wrong?”

  Her eyes were clouded with tears as she shook her head. “It can’t be true. It can’t be.” She gasped, then choked as she began to sob.

  “What?” Isaru asked, gently. “What is it?”

  She slowly got a hold of herself. “It said to me: Three have entered here. Only two will leave. Choose wisely; the one who suffers the fate of the tower will suffer least in the end.”

  * * *

  We stood around the pedestal, no one saying a word. It didn’t take much to puzzle out the first part. One person had to stay here. That person had to die by the knife. The second part was a bit more difficult to figure out, and there was no way of knowing exactly what it meant. All I could gather was that the ones who got out would be the unlucky ones to suffer worse in the end, but it was impossible to know in what way from the wording.

  I don’t know how long we stood like that, but it must have been at least fifteen minutes. Isaru went to the doors opposite of where we had come in and tried to force them open, but of course, they wouldn’t budge.

  There was only one way out of here.

  “It can’t be,” Isaru said, the first to break the silence since Isa’s words. “If only two of us can leave . . . that means we have to decide.”

  Isa and Isaru held hands, the former’s shoulders shaking. Isaru looked at me, his eyes pained.

  “It can’t be you, Shanti. So that means it has to be me.”

  “It said the one who suffers the fate of the tower will suffer the least in the end,” Isa said. “If I let you go on . . . if it’s me who dies here . . . then you’ll get something worse.”

  I felt as if I was going to throw up.

  “I don’t want to die,” Isa said, tears in her eyes. “But I don’t want you to die, either. I don’t think I could do it to you, Isaru.”

  “Nor I to you.”

  “There’s another choice.” Both looked at me, and I hated the hope that gleamed in both of their eyes. “We stop here. We let them win.”

  “But Shara . . .” Isa said. “Her sacrifice would mean nothing.”

  “Whoever dies here may die for good, or may go join the Tree. Did the words say?”

  Isa shook her head. “No. Neither did it say we could abstain from the choice.”

  That was true as well. I forced myself to continue, before I lost my resolve. “Neither of you should have to be the one to deal the blow. I’ll . . . I’ll do it. Whoever it ends up being. I have a feeling this place will end up taking all of us, in the end.”

  But even after an hour, no one knew who it was going to be. Strangely, it was each of them who believed the other should be the one to die, each fearing the worse fate that awaited the other in the end. It had turned into an argument, a horrible fight that was only making a terrible decision even worse.

  I realized the truth then. Neither of them would be able to decide.

  “It’s going to be Isa,” I said.

  Both looked at me, and despite it being the mercy, the look on her face was too much to bear. Isaru went quiet, as if that moment of decision had made it all too real. The arguing was a delaying tactic, but we couldn’t stay here arguing until the end of time. The decision would become more and more difficult the longer we waited, until we had wasted years in this place.

  “Let’s get it over with, then,” she said.

  She knelt to the ground, facing the pedestal where the knife remained. Her face was stubborn and set.

  “I know you have to do it,” she said, her voice hurt. “Just . . . give me a moment. I know I’m dead already in this place. I . . . still had some hope we could make it out of this, somehow.” She shook her head. “I was so naïve.”

  “You had hope,” I said. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

  “Except when it disappoints you,” she said. She looked at Isaru and reached for his hand, which he took with tears in his eyes. “I hoped for so many things with you, Isaru. I’m sorry those things will never happen.”

  Isaru lowered his head. “I love you, Isa. I want to take your place. This feels . . . wrong.

  She nodded. “I know. Maybe there will be a way for you to be okay after this. Even after I . . .”

  She broke down then, and Isaru held her. His gray eyes told me he thought he was making a mistake. But the words had been clear. Whatever came after this would be even worse.

  They held their heads together, crying in front of the pedestal. Numbness overcame me, and I just stood there, not wanting to do what was expected. A minute passed like that, then two. They stayed like that for a long time, neither speaking. I walked to the side, to give them space while they came to terms with what had to happen. All I felt was crushed. Defeated. I almost wanted to give up. To tell Askalon that he had won. To make this pain stop.

  Finally, I heard one of them move. Isa had turned her head toward me.

  “Shanti,” she said. “I’m ready.”

  I forced myself to stand, and then walked forward. It felt as if gravity itself had doubled. My entire body was cold, and despite the slowness of my pace, I reached the pedestal all too soon. The knife sat there, seeming to mock me. I grabbed it, its hilt as cold as ice. I heard dark, indecipherable whispers rustle through my mind like
wind through the leaves.

  Isa’s breaths were measured and controlled. She clasped onto Isaru’s hands so tightly that they were white.

  “Close your eyes,” she said to him. “Close your eyes, and don’t let go.”

  Isaru whimpered, which caused Isa to start crying.

  I can’t do this, I thought. I can’t.

  But I had to. Just how to do it? What way would be most painless, fastest? The blade looked razor sharp and would cut anywhere on the body easily. Of that I had no doubt.

  I stood behind her, hesitating. There was no other way. This was it. Instead of allowing someone to die, I had to be the one to physically do it. How was that possible? How could I kill my friend like this?

  A voice entered my mind. Say the word, and it ends. All of you go free of this place. All of you return to sweet oblivion.

  But Shara . . .

  She, too. She will be taken away from the pain of the Tree of Wailing. Just say the word, and it will be done. There is . . . no shame in it. To admit that this was more than you could bear. These words are vouchsafed by the Nameless One.

  Had I been defeated? Here was a chance to leave it all behind, and not only that, but to take all my friends with me into the oblivion of nonexistence. There would be no eternal pain of the Tree, and I could rectify the mistake of letting Shara slip away.

  But if I took that offer, Earth would surely perish, and millions fall under the influence of Odium.

  What were our five lives against the fate of Earth? I knew then my decision. But to make the decision would prove far more difficult.

  I emptied my mind of all feeling.

  It was over in a single movement.

  Chapter 69

  I cut as quickly as I could, as deeply as I could. She didn’t even scream as she fell, as Isaru cried out and held her body while it bled out. The black floor seemed to drink the blood in, giving it an unholy glow.

  I dropped the blade and fell to my knees, empty and numb. Who had I become, just for the chance to pass on to whatever horrible fate awaited me? I was a monster. This place was making me a monster. Beneath the coldness taking root in my heart was indescribable anger and rage, at Askalon, who lay at the end of it all, and the Nameless One, for even allowing these trials to take place.

  A scream tore itself from my throat. I screamed until I was raw. I punched everything in sight until my knuckles were bruised and bloody. I reached for the knife, thinking of doing the unthinkable.

  A hand caught my wrist. I looked up to see Isaru, with tear-filled eyes.

  “No,” he said. “It’s over. We must move on. There’s . . . nothing else left.”

  Somehow, unnoticed by me, the opposite door had opened, revealing another long, white bridge that hung suspended between this tower and a large building in the distance. I knelt beside Isa, her neck marred. Her blue eyes stared emptily at the ceiling.

  “The price is paid,” I said.

  I knelt to pick her up, when the voice entered my mind once more.

  Leave her. She belongs to me, now.

  I won’t, I thought. I will never do that.

  She’s mine, or you don’t pass. Go, Elekim. Go now.

  My shoulders shook as I cried over her. Such pain. Such horrible pain.

  But in the end, I stood. Without asking, Isaru understood. We couldn’t even bring her with us. We had to leave her body in this horrible place, for whatever horrible end Askalon had in store.

  Isaru grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the exit. As soon as we were outside, the doors slammed shut.

  * * *

  We walked along the bridge, much higher above the ichor sea than the previous one. Neither of us spoke. More than once I thought of throwing myself over the edge. The only thing that kept me back was that by doing so, I would render my friends’ sacrifices completely pointless.

  Instead, I focused on what was ahead. I didn’t have the luxury of being able to break down, to give up, to give into madness, even if that was all I wanted to do.

  All too soon, we reached the entrance of the next structure. It grew like a mountain out of the ichor, but its outside was chiseled in a way that made it seem unnatural. Strange, crystalline faces were etched in the obsidian, alien to behold, multiple eyes seeming to follow as we passed under the archway and into the gargantuan edifice. It was dim within. There were no torches here, only the subtle glow from obsidian, the only sound being our footfalls on the floor beneath.

  A female scream sounded at an intersection. It was impossible to determine its direction.

  “Fiona,” Isaru said. “She’s somewhere in this place.”

  “Left or right,” I said. “I have a feeling whatever we choose, the decision will be wrong.”

  “Not if we split up,” Isaru said.

  “And what if there’s another split up ahead? We need to stay together.” At Isaru’s hesitation, I felt a bit of panic. “Isaru, you can’t leave me alone in this place.”

  “We’re meant to separate here,” he said. “Why two paths? This is part of the test.”

  Could he be right? As if urging us to come to a decision quickly, there was another scream. As with the other ones, it was impossible to tell which way it was coming from.

  “Fine,” I said. “You take left, I’ll take right.”

  Isaru watched me for a moment, seeming unsure himself of what he’d just said.

  “What?” I asked. “You were right. We’ll cover more ground separated.”

  Isaru nodded. “Yes. I know. It’s just . . . this may be our last time to see each other.”

  I looked at him, and death was in his eyes. I realized then that he knew something I did not. “What’s going on, Isaru? Don’t keep things from me.”

  “This is the trial,” he said. “This turn. I’m going now to where Fiona is. I’m going to suffer what she’s suffering right now. That suffering will not end . . . cannot end . . . unless you reach the center. And maybe not even then.” Tears came to his eyes. “I didn’t want to tell you because . . . well, it would make it harder for you to make the choice.”

  “How do you know this?” I asked. “Was it talking to you?”

  Isaru’s head hung low. “Yes. It’s . . . talking to me now. It’s . . . telling me all the things it’s going to do to me.”

  “Isaru . . .”

  “I have to go,” he said. “I can’t wait any longer.”

  He suddenly turned and ran down the left-hand hallway.

  “Isaru!” I ran after him.

  But he was faster than me and was quickly lost to the darkness.

  “Turn back!” he cried out, his voice echoing. “Get away from this place! Don’t waste your chance!”

  “I can’t do this alone, Isaru!” I called. “I need you! I need Fiona! Isaru, please . . .”

  I made myself stop and was wracked with sobs. If it were possible to die of emptiness and loneliness, I would have at that moment. I was paralyzed, unable to bring myself to do as he’d said. Losing him, along with the rest of them, was just too much. I stayed like that for a minute, only breaking from my trance when another scream joined the first . . .

  “I’m sorry I let you come here,” I said.

  I stood. I knew Isaru was right. There was limited time.

  I turned and ran the opposite way. The end was near. I had nothing else to lose.

  * * *

  I followed the twisting and turning paths of the hallways, guided by nothing more than my instinct. That was all that was left. Askalon had stripped away everything else.

  Their horrible screams seemed to follow me, not dissipating with distance. They seemed to beckon me to follow them, to save them from the doom they were facing. For the third time, I was being asked to abandon my friends to their deaths, in sacrifice to the goal of reaching Askalon. I could have ended this horror multiple times and had chosen not to.

  All that was left was me. It was time to meet him and make him pay.

  I paused before the exit, Isaru
and Fiona’s screams becoming far worse, far more insistent. I waited, with tears in my eyes, from anger, frustration, and grief, and from horrible feelings beyond the description of words. Looking out, a staircase extended into a bright light in the sky.

  I made my decision, taking the steps one at a time, leaving the building and my friends forever behind. Death was ahead – for me, for Askalon, or for both of us.

  It was time to settle this once and for all.

  As I ran up the steps and entered the light, I felt myself transferred from this place and into another realm.

  Chapter 70

  You let Shara die.

  An image of her face, contorted and screaming, entered my mind as she was impaled upon the branch of the tree.

  You killed Isa.

  The obsidian knife flashed through my mind, and I felt her hot blood spill over my hands.

  You doomed Isaru and Fiona to torture in the bowels of the Temple of Madness.

  I had a vision of them screaming, their faces bloody, their limbs writhing in unnatural ways.

  Intense, unbearable shame poured through me. I couldn’t exist feeling like this. All I wanted was to die.

  You have passed all the trials, as no Elekim has done before. You have won your audience with Askalon, intermediated by me, the Nameless One. You will soon see what your friends’ blood has bought.

  The darkness dissipated and was replaced with a scene of Earth. It was a battlefield, an army of dragons and crawlers against those making their last stand at the mouth of the Caverns of Creation.

  I speak for Askalon, God-Mind of the Radaskim, the Nameless One said. He offers you now a bargain, vouchsafed by me, the Nameless One.

  Where is Askalon? I must end him.

  Askalon is out of your reach, the Nameless One said. You are within his Xenofold, and without me to guarantee your safety, Askalon would destroy you. The two sides must always exist, you see. Elekai, and Radaskim.

  It was all a lie, then. I had given my friends up for nothing. If Askalon could not be killed, then what was the point of any of this?