Good for You, Great for Me

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by Lawrence Susskind


  The distinction between empathy and assertiveness in negotiation is developed in Robert H. Mnookin, Scott R. Peppet, and Andrew S. Tulumello, “The Tension Between Empathy and Assertiveness,” Negotiation Journal 12, no. 3 (July 1996): 217–230.

  INDEX

  Adaptation, and improvisation, with skeptics, 97

  Advanceramics (glass and ceramic products manufacturer), 108–109

  Adversary science, 23

  Agendas, structuring, and facilitators, responsibility of, 143–144

  Agent(s)

  on both sides, 72–76

  and commitments, authorization to make, 72

  communicating responsibilities of, 71–72

  and compensation and performance, 72–73

  and difficult behavior, of negotiating partners, 70–71

  effective use of, 71–73

  versus “going it alone,” 67–69

  and issues and rules, unfamiliarity with, 69–70

  on other side, as ally, 74

  on other side, role of, 73–74

  and possible agreements, variety of, 74–76

  potential problem with, 69

  reputation of, 71

  and time or distance, 70

  when to use, 69–71

  Agreements

  and predictable surprises, insulation against, 11

  self-enforcing, 105

  selling of, and conflict management, 65–66

  strategic framing of, and conflict management, 65, 66

  variety of possible, and agents, 74–76

  See also Contingent agreements

  Ambiguity, and high-tech negotiations, 111–112

  Anaconda Company (computer chip manufacturer), 22–23, 24–26, 27–28, 29–30, 49, 158, 160

  Angry public, and facilitative leaders, 156–162

  and concerns of the other side, acknowledgment of, 158

  and contingent commitments, 159–160

  and joint fact-finding, 158–159

  long-term relationships, focus on building, 161–162

  and mistakes, admission of, 161

  and power, sharing of, 160–161

  and responsibility, acceptance of, 160

  and trustworthiness, 161

  and what not to do, 157

  Animal rights controversies, 157

  Appeals to principle, 34–35

  Application, of negotiation training, 185

  Appreciative moves, and conflict management, 66

  Approvals and experiences, of regulators, basing request on past, 128

  Assertiveness, versus empathy, 208

  Attentiveness, and improvisation, 88–90

  Back tables, 5, 21, 22, 208

  and multiparty negotiations, 115, 116, 117, 121

  of other side, 11

  and regulators, 125, 132

  Balachandra, Lakshmi, 87

  BATNA (best alternative to a negotiated agreement), 45, 179, 199–200, 204

  Bazerman, Max, 11, 17

  Benefit of the doubt, 56–57

  and lies/lying, 149–150

  Best alternative to a negotiated agreement. See BATNA

  Best Care (health services company), 78–84, 139

  Brainstorming, and consensus building, 82

  Brattlebury Corporation (computer manufacturer), 52–57

  Brazil, 120

  Bribes, 42

  Bristol-Myers Squibb, 174–175

  Buyout, versus partnership, 200–202

  Cancún, Mexico, 119–120

  Cape Wind project (Massachusetts), 38, 40

  Chemistry, poor, and facilitators, 142

  China, 120

  Claiming, and competition, 206–208

  Climate change, as example of improvisation with skeptics, 94–100

  Coach. See Negotiation coach

  Coaching. See Negotiation coaching

  Coalition building, 115

  and commitments, 119–120

  and conflict management, 65, 66–67

  and partners, identifying and winning over, 119

  See also Multiparty negotiations

  Coalitional behavior, anticipation of, 118–121

  Coalitions

  and coalitional behavior, anticipation of, 118–121

  offensive and defensive, 116

  Cognitive biases, of negotiating partners, 17–19

  Commitments

  authorization to make, 72, 202–204

  sub-optimal, 204–206

  See also Deals

  Common language (interlanguage), 23

  Communication errors, how to avoid, and high-tech negotiations, 110–111

  Community Arts, Inc., 118

  Community benefit agreements, 42

  Compensation, and performance, and agents, 72–73

  Competition

  and claiming, 206–208

  versus cooperation, 6, 8–9

  Complex negotiations, 106

  and mediators, 132

  See also High-tech negotiations

  Complexity, of high-tech negotiations, 106, 107, 109, 111–112

  Compliance, incentives for, and contingent agreements, 102

  Compromise, 204–206

  Concerns of the other side, acknowledgment of, and angry public, 158

  Concessions, 199, 204

  Confidentiality, and mediation, 134–135

  Conflict management, 59–67

  agreements, strategic framing of, 65, 66

  and agreements, selling of, 65–66

  and appreciative moves, 66

  and coalition building, 65, 66–67

  and consensus building, 63–65

  and direct negotiations, 61

  and face-saving suggestions, 66

  and internal conflict, causes of, 60–61

  and internal conflict, identifying sources of, 62–63

  and joint fact-finding, 64

  and managers, 60, 61

  and matrix management approach, 60, 63–65

  and professional neutral, 65

  and resistance, overcoming, 66–67

  and support, cultivation of, 65, 66

  and task force, agreement and recommended changes of, 64–65

  and top-down management approach, 61–62

  Conflicts, acknowledgment of, and high-tech negotiations, 114

  Consensus building, 63–65, 78–85

  and brainstorming, 82

  commitment to, and facilitative leaders, 154, 155–156

  and convener, 79–80

  and decision, implementation of, 84

  and deliberations, 81–82

  and facilitators, 79, 80, 81, 83, 84

  as five-step process, 78–84

  ground rules, setting and enforcing, and facilitators, responsibility of, 144

  versus majority rule, 76–78, 80–81, 84–85

  and near-unanimous decision, 78, 80–81, 82–83

  and responsibilities, clarification of, 80–81

  Consistency, and negotiation coach, 190–191

  Construction industry, and dispute prevention, 147

  Contingent agreements, 100–106

  and agreements, self-enforcing, 105

  and commitments, self-enforcing, quality of, 102

  complexity of, 101

  and compliance, incentives for, 102

  and disagreement, acceptance of, 105

  and forecasting, 106

  and “good neighbor” agreement, 103

  insurance as, 102

  and internal resistance, overcoming, 105–106

  and litigation, avoidance of, 104–105

  and noncompliance, penalties for, 102

  and price caps, 101

  and reconvening, 103–104

  and red flags, 105

  and surprises, protection against possible, 102

  and technical disagreements, management of, 103

  when to use, 101–106

  See also Agreements

  Contingent commitments, and public relations, and angr
y public, 159–160

  Contingent offers. See What-if game, proposals, questions

  Contracts, dispute resolution clause in, 146

  Control

  lack of, and facilitators, 142

  and managers, and fear of losing, 141–142

  Convener, 79–80

  Cooperation, versus competition, 6, 8–9

  Cornucopia (grocery chain), 130–132

  Corporate social responsibility guidelines, OECD, and problem-solving mediation, 132–136

  Counterpart

  adviser from culture of, and cross-cultural negotiations, 170–171

  background and experience of, and cross-cultural negotiations, 170

  Counterproposal, attractive, 32–34

  Cremtech Corporation (glass and ceramic products manufacturer), 108–109, 110–113

  Cross-cultural negotiations, 165–172

  approaches to, 167–172

  challenges of, 165–167

  and counterpart, adviser from culture of, 170–171

  and counterpart, background and experience of, 170

  and cultural sensitivity, 169–170

  and cultural stereotyping, 169, 170

  and individual differences, importance of, 170–172

  and language barriers, 172

  and negotiation dynamics, paying attention to, 171–172

  and “to thine own self be true,” 168

  and “when in Rome, do as the Romans do,” 168–169

  Cultural sensitivity, 169–170

  Cultural stereotyping, 169, 170

  Deal space, 3, 5, 10–11, 199–200, 202, 204, 206–207. See also Trading zone

  Deals

  mutually beneficial, strategies for creating, 10–12 (see also Win-win negotiations)

  See also Commitments

  Debriefing, and negotiation coach, 193–194

  Decentralized organizations, 162–165

  and coaching, real-time, 165

  and hot lines, 165

  and networked communication, importance of, 163–164

  and online negotiation support system, 164–165

  and walled garden, 164

  Decision

  implementation of, and consensus building, 84

  near-unanimous, and consensus building, 78, 80–81, 82–83

  Deliberations, and consensus building, 81–82

  Demands, unproductive, and negotiating partners, 18

  Destinations airline, 117–118

  Difficult behaviors, of negotiating partners, 17–20, 70–71

  Direct negotiations, and conflict management, 61

  Disagreement, acceptance of, and contingent agreements, 105

  Dispute avoidance agreement, 148

  Dispute handling agreement, 148

  Dispute prevention, 146–149

  prerequisites for, 147–148

  techniques, obstacles to using, 147–148

  See also Facilitators; Mediators

  Dispute prevention bonus, 148, 149

  Dispute resolution clause, 146

  Distance, and agents, 70

  Distributional battles, versus value creation, 55

  Diversity, 61

  Dynamics, paying attention to, and cross-cultural negotiations, 171–172

  “Educational” efforts, one-sided, and not-in-my-backyard syndrome, 39

  Egos, and high-tech negotiations, 107, 109

  Elegant solution (attractive counterproposal), 32–34

  Elliott, Mike, 39

  Empathy, versus assertiveness, 208

  Enterprise, Inc., 15

  Environmental constraints, 60

  Europe, 120

  European Union, 120

  Experience, lack of, and facilitators, 142

  Experiences, of regulators, basing request on past, 128

  Expert advisers, 25–26

  External pressures, and facilitators, 143

  Exxon Valdez oil spill, 157

  Face-saving suggestions, and conflict management, 66

  Facebook, and negotiation support system, 164

  Facilitation, 137–139

  definition of, 139

  Facilitative leaders, 153–156, 162

  challenges faced by, 156

  and consensus building, commitment to, 154, 155–156

  and consultation responsibilities, 154, 155

  and public relations, and angry public, 156–162

  and time constraints, 155

  See also Facilitators; Leaders/leadership

  Facilitators

  and consensus building, 79, 80, 81, 83, 84

  and managers, and reluctance to hire, 140–142

  and mediators, difference between, 137–140

  and multiparty negotiations, 121

  need for, 139–140

  overcoming resistance to hiring, 145–146

  problems with, signs of, 142–143

  responsibilities of, 143–145

  See also Dispute prevention; Facilitative leaders; Mediators

  Fact-finding, disagreement regarding, 22–24. See also Joint fact-finding

  Facts, confrontation with, 22–24

  Fairness, 7

  Field, Patrick, 157

  Final commitment. See Commitments

  Financial disincentive, and dispute prevention, 149

  Fisher, Roger, 7, 206

  Flexibility, and improvisation, 90–92

  FlyAway airline, 117–118

  Focus learning, and negotiation training, 186–187

  Follow-up, and negotiation training, 187

  Forecasting

  and contingent agreements, 106

  and high-tech negotiations, 114

  Galison, Peter, 23

  Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement without Giving In (Fisher, Ury, and Patton), 7, 206

  Global treaty negotiations, 202–203

  “Going it alone,” versus agents, 67–69

  Golden Pond real estate deal, 1–5, 8–9, 206

  Golden Rule of Negotiation, 20

  “Good coach” checklist, 194–196

  “Good neighbor” agreement, 103

  Gore, Al, 95

  Government decisions, public involvement in, 40

  GreenTech Chemical Company, 126–127, 132

  Ground rules

  consensus building, 144

  and joint fact-finding, 25

  Group interactions, management of, 120–122

  Groupthink, and multiparty negotiations, 121

  G22, 120

  Guardians, 39, 40, 41

  Hard-bargaining strategy, 19–20, 22, 199

  Harvard University, 94

  Hearings, 40

  High-Energy, Inc. (fuel-oil company), 100–101

  High-tech negotiations, 106–114

  and ambiguity, 111–112

  and communication errors, how to avoid, 110–111

  complexity of, 106, 107, 109, 111–112

  and conflicts, acknowledgment of, 114

  and egos, 107, 109

  and forecasting, 114

  and inventor’s bias, 109

  and organizational change, 107, 109

  and organizational realignment, 109, 112–113

  problems with, 106–108, 109

  and relationships, valuing, 114

  strategies to overcome difficulties of, 109–113

  and time pressures, 111

  and trust building, 111

  and uncertainty, 107, 109, 111–112

  ways to be more effective at, 113–114

  See also Complex negotiations

  Hiring, resistance to, and facilitators, 145–146

  Homework, doing it ahead of time, 202–204

  Hot lines, and decentralized organizations, 165

  Ideological opponents, and notin-my-backyard syndrome, 43–44

  Impact, of negotiation training, 185

  Improvisation, 87–94, 198

  and adaptation, 97

  and attentiveness, 88–90

  and flexibilit
y, 90–92

  and goal of dialogue, 95

  personalization of, 99

  and playfulness, 94

  and provocation, 100

  with skeptics, 94–100

  and surprise, element of, 92–94

  and thought experiment, 98–99

  and true believers, 94, 97–98

  and yes or no questions, instead of when, where, and how questions, 99

  Incompetence, and managers, and fear of appearing incompetent, 140–141

  India, 120

  Individual differences, importance of, and cross-cultural negotiations, 170–172

  Informal conversations, with regulators, 128–130

  Initial strategy, reassessment of, 198

  Insurance, as contingent agreement, 102

  Interests, and value creation, 47, 48–49

  Interlanguage. See Common language

  Intermediaries

  and joint fact-finding, 25

  and value creation, 25

  Internal conflict

  causes of, 60–61

  identifying sources of, 62–63

  Internal friction, and facilitators, 142

  Internal resistance, overcoming, and contingent agreements, 105–106

  International Institute for Conflict Prevention and Resolution, 146

  Inventor’s bias, and high-tech negotiations, 109

  Issues

  agents unfamiliarity with, 69–70

  and value creation, 46, 48–49

  Japan, and cross-cultural negotiations, 166–167

  Joint fact-finding, 22–31

  and conflict management, 64

  and expert advisers, 25–26

  and ground rules, 25

  and intermediaries, 25

  and methods of analysis, 26–27

  and not-in-my-backyard syndrome, 39–41

  and public relations, and angry public, 158–159

  with regulators, 129–130

  and results, communication of, 28–29

  and results, responding to, 29–31

  and roles and responsibilities, clarification of, 27

  and tentative findings, assessment of, 27–28

  See also Fact-finding, disagreement regarding

  Knowledge, lack of, and facilitators, 142

  Kolb, Deborah, 65

  Language barriers, and cross-cultural negotiations, 172

  Law firms, and dispute prevention bonus, 148

  Lawsuits, 23

  Lawyers, and dispute prevention bonus, 148

  Leaders/leadership

  and cross-cultural negotiations, 165–172

  and decentralized organizations, 162–165

  and negotiation coaching, 188–196

  and negotiation skills, continuous improvement in, 172–179

  and negotiation training, 180–188

  responsibilities of, 153–156

  and strong-arm tactics, 153

 

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