The campus remained quiet and empty after the festival, I could escape without leaving traces.
I ran up the stairs to my loft and my heart sped up at every leap—I was close.
When I stormed through the door, I broke down onto my knees upon discovering my grimoire in someone else’s hands.
“Claire?” I shrieked.
A silver gloom surrounded the contours of her skin, hair, and eyes. Her iris was translucent instead of pearly lilac, and she struggled to focus on me as if she was blind. She tied her arms around the grimoire and I wondered how long she had waited for me.
Meanwhile, I didn’t dare to move since I couldn’t explain myself.
Claire walked towards me calmly, her gown swayed around her knees, and I noticed how she wasn’t wearing any gloves or stockings. Pushing the grimoire back into my bag, she handed it over. “Excuse me, but you didn’t plan to leave me behind, did you?”
Her stance was stable, she appeared healthier than before. I fulfilled my promise.
With wandering eyes she scanned me. She wasn’t blind but something else. Otherwise, how did she climb the stairs and find the book? It was like she saw right through me instead.
“No,” I stuttered, “well, yes, but not here. Evrett would send you to The Eye. You’re safe there, no more medication or marriage.”
“Let me decide.”
“Yes, and you can. There’s something I found out about you–,” I said hastily since I was running out of time, but she waved her hand and stopped me.
“I see,” she said, “In fact, I see very clearly now. Just like I watched you pack this bag and what will follow if you go through with it.”
“Is this why you’re here? To hold me back?”
“I’m here because you will take me with you.”
“Oh, no, no no,” I mumbled while pressing my palms into my eye sockets. “Claire you’re not thinking straight.”
She tapped on her bag. “I am. You want to catch that ship. I’m coming with you. Now, run.”
If I missed the ship because of this ambush, I would regret it. I exhaled and grabbed her by the hand, obeying her, even though her status lost its worth to me. There was no other choice than taking her with me if I wanted to save myself.
While we sprinted, I discovered that only I had footsteps. I threw a glimpse behind me and found Claire levitating, scraping the stone with the tips of her boots. She had transformed into a being out of this world. Perhaps the rules of the Upperworld didn’t apply to her anymore.
Instead of taking the usual path on the East, we followed the main road that led to the shipyard.
“Forgive me,” I said out of breath.
“Don’t mention it. You redeemed yourself by cleansing me,” she said. “I met Frya. There’s much more you don’t know yet.”
The workers in town turned their heads to us with shock written all over their faces. Their chins and tools dropped upon seeing Claire, some threw themselves onto their knees and bowed until their noses touched the ground.
In our sight, the ship appeared, and I recognised Deg on board, tying knots as usual.
Behind us, in the distance, a horse neighed. The clanking of its ironed hooves and the gasps of an upset crowd followed.
I looked back at Claire, whose eyebrows arched and formed rims in the middle.
She nodded at me. They were searching for her.
Deg spotted us sprinting downhill and opened a door that led under the deck, to hide us until we took sail—which the pirates were about to do any moment. But before I took my first step onto the wooden dock, a horse appeared beside me and blocked the way. On it sat a man in a red uniform, holding a spear. Without a word, he slammed the staff on my head, knocking me out.
Instead of the dock’s relieving creek, the last thing I heard was Claire’s scream.
24. Consequences
My head pounded, and I threw up when I awoke on an icy stone floor. The whistle in my ears tortured my senses, everything in front of me swirled.
After fighting for consciousness and fainting repeatedly, I stayed awake and realised that I was lying in a dungeon, inside a prison cell.
“She’s awake,” a guard yelled through the hall after I pulled myself to the iron bars.
The guards paid no attention to me, even if I addressed them directly, and I had to wait until Tonio appeared on the other side. He kept the door closed and shouted at me, piercing my ears.
“Where is she? What did you do to her?”
I covered my head. “What?” I asked, perplexed since we had been holding hands when they found us. There was no place I’d taken her.
“Your filthy pirates don’t have her. So, where is she?”
“I don’t know,” I cried. “Tonio, aren’t you here to get me out? The pirates have nothing to do with it. I have a serious wound and need help.” I touched my pulsating forehead and showed him the blood on my fingers.
“Was this your plan all along? Pretend to be a Volkov and gain my trust? I should’ve known by your looks but Gerogy’s letters were very convincing, I must confess.” He raged through the bars and shook them with both hands while he yelled at me.
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“You befriended my sister in a day, set up a way into our family through her and arranged a wedding between us. It was you, who bewitched us all. You, who opened her eye and stole her away, just like Elvora said.”
“What? No. I didn’t want any of this. Please, help me.”
On the muddy floor, memories of the night I almost died reappeared. I was a monstrosity. A nasty creature, below the dignity of an animal.
“I see through your innocent act, imposter. Now, tell me where she is, or else… ,” he threatened.
“No, please, I–,” stuttering, my words found no way out.
“Then you will burn at the stake for treason.” Before he left, he kicked the bars and the vibration of the iron swayed my senses into dizziness.
An imposter? That was what he believed, and I had missed every chance to change or avoid it—though it didn’t explain Claire’s disappearance. How did she get away from a horse on foot? I had no answers for Tonio, as I didn’t know where Claire was hiding or how many days had passed since then, while I rotted in the dungeon.
Nothing made sense anymore, and I wished I had never arrived in Roness. Cursed be this town and cursed be the Di Centi’s influence over it.
All I ever wanted was to understand who I was, to heal the wounds of the past and perhaps reunite with my grandfather. He looked nothing like me, that was true.
Also, my bag was nowhere to be found, and I assumed the grimoire to be in the hands of Tonio and the whole inner circle. It was less safe there than in my grandfather’s possession.
Tonio came back every day to ask me the same question over and over again. “Where is she?”
No matter how many tears he witnessed running down my face or how many times I begged him to release me, after answering the truth, he announced my execution in five days. Unlike for weddings, they apparently weren’t prepared for that. Perhaps he thought knowing the date of my death would shake me up and I would reveal her hideout.
I cried for hours without end, thinking about Deg, and if Tonio had interrogated him like me. I’d caused too much pain, maybe I deserved to die.
25. Destiny
After I collected some energy through light sleep, I broke out a tiny stone fragment out of the wall and carved the star-shaped rune into the floor. It was barely visible but had to do. Wine wasn’t available, and I wondered if I could descend without it, or make Veymor appear.
Since I had betrayed him twice, I prepared to get rejected and die but still tried.
I chanted every sentence on my mind, but nothing worked, even when I cut open my hand with the dull piece of stone.
Veymor had said he loved me above anything else and one day, I would learn what it meant to love and slit my wrists open for him. I thought he meant my love f
or him would make me do it, but it was not true. It was the perfect opportunity to deliberate about whether I would try this measure. What did it matter if I burned at the stake or died inside my cell right there and then? At least there was a chance to ensure Deg was free, and Claire was safe. I would abstain from demanding my own freedom. Because of my love for them. But cutting myself? That, I would do for Veymor, to wake his attention.
Love is sacrifice.
I no longer minded my death to ensure their life. Veymor said he loved me throughout all times. I hoped he would give his pride up for me, and so I scratched my arms with the sharpest edge until I bled in streams.
The tears that dripped into the open flesh stung in my veins and caused me to bleed more than I expected. On the verge of blacking out, I yelled as loud as I could, “Claim me, Lord of the Underworld!”
The guards didn’t react. Their only function was to monitor intruders, but no one dared to save me.
“Claim me!”
From underneath, Veymor rose and held me in his arms. Together we sank into the Underworld.
When I brushed his cheek, my fiery-red blood stained his blemishless skin. He loved me. After all, he came to my rescue. The colour of my blood suited his pale skin perfectly. Every bit of him was harmony and peace. My stomach tightened when he looked into my eyes. We had them in common, black like coal, just like our hair. Perhaps we went well together, better than I’d assumed and fought against.
“You’re ready,” he said, “What is it?” His body capsuled me like an infant and I calmed down my rapid breath.
“Deg and Claire, I want them to be safe,” I answered.
“They are. What else?”
“The grimoire. Forgive me, but they have it.”
“You’ll figure it out,” he said.
“Me?” I shrugged. “But it’s the end of my journey.”
Veymor stood up and carried me through the iron bars. In the Underworld, they had no meaning. The blood stopped streaming out of my veins and came to a halt. My heart wasn’t beating but I remained awake. In the Upperworld, this was my last moment.
“Do you know what’s happening?” he asked, and I shook my head.
We left the tunnel, located under the academy, and exited through a tiny shaft on the bed of the mountain. It was overgrown with moss.
“My heart,” I whispered.
“That’s what it takes.”
I took deep breaths of his vapour until we reached the end of the woods and a sea full of bright red flowers bloomed in front of us.
Veymor put me down onto them and stepped over me. “Don’t panic,” he said and conjured a circle of black smoke around us. It didn’t spread. Its heat didn’t harm the flowers or my skin. The Underworld had its own rules.
When we ascended back to the Upperworld, the smoke vanished, but signs of burned ground remained in its shape. It had an unpredictable effect here, and I understood why he only appeared in a preexisting portal.
Veymor plucked a handful of flowers out of the field and commanded me to chew its black centre. “You left this life behind, to serve me,” he said. “Usually, I’m not demanding but you disappointed me, Verra.”
I didn’t oppose him, he was right. He was merciful by listening to me after my betrayals, and I wondered if it was because of his curse to love me, or because he had a greater purpose for me in mind.
“I will do as you say.”
Serving him couldn’t be avoided. He had to take the grimoire back eventually, and I would’ve let him claim me for the sake of keeping it.
After repeating his prayers, the vibrations of his body spread into my limbs and I began shaking. His odour intensified, and I could not stop inhaling it. The high came quicker than with Sosden or Morell and was of a different kind.
The tingle inside my fingertips, the pulsation of my brain—it was a high of energy. Dried wounds on my arms closed by themselves, the blood peeled off my skin.
Veymor helped me stand upright and a chilling whizz against my back reminded me of my nakedness. He noticed my goosebumps and shifted his jaw to the side. “Wait here,” he said and sank through the portal.
I circled it and let the petals brush my legs, feeling their fine edges. The grass looked greener, and the sun shone brighter than I remembered. The birds chirped louder, and I saw farther, recognising the contours of pine trees on the horizon. I couldn’t sit still but had to pluck some flowers for my collection.
When I turned around, he stood behind me again, showing a fine gown.
“What?” he asked after he scanned my grimace, “I’ve got a deal with a tailor.”
The fabric rubbed against my skin, but I accustomed to it quickly.
“A tailor? How many deals do you have?”
“One hundred and seventy…,” he rubbed his chin and counted with his fingers. “Six.”
Baffled by the number, I fell silent. It was more than I expected.
“It’s not much. Not even a thousand humans measure up to one single Witch. It’s not worth the trouble, but I was desperate,” he added.
“That’s why it’s so important to claim me?”
“Exactly.”
I forced the air out of my lungs and stiffened my body. “I’m ready,” I said, louder than usual.
“For what?” he asked.
“To get claimed, whatever it is you wish.”
Instead of letting out his roaring laugh, he chuckled. “It happened when your heart stopped beating inside the dungeon. They’ll find your dead body, by the way. You should think of a new name for yourself.”
I imagined my blood-drained corpse inside the cell, naked, mutilated. Nothing like the new flesh I had obtained. I was still alive. The old carcass didn’t bother me.
Pushing one of my hands deep into my chest and the other into his, there was only silence. Not a pound or movement inside us, other than the immense current of our energy.
“You’re a part of me now,” he said, “part of the Underworld.”
“Then… why are we in the Upperworld?”
He smirked. Between his pink lips, a sharp tooth gleamed through. “I’m sending you on a quest to rebuild the faith in me as a missionary. God’s vessel, if you may.”
“But what about Gerogy? And the grimoire?”
“Forget that power-hungry moron,” he scoffed, “I’ve made a better deal. The grimoire is waiting for you past the field. Now, listen and don’t disappoint me again. Walk westwards through Pelnae and take a ship to the Isles. There, you will build a coven and a temple.”
“B-but,” I stuttered, “What about you? Aren’t you going to stay with me?”
“Don’t worry, you won’t be lonely. Remember, I am always right here.” He tapped his finger where my heart had been beating just a few breaths ago.
“Draw the pentacle, if you need me. Descending should be easier.”
When he walked into the rune, I grabbed for his arm. “Wait,” I said, “don’t go.”
There were too many questions left unanswered, and I couldn’t rest until I figured it all out.
After he took another step inside and turned around, he hugged me and kissed my forehead. “See, now you love me. Let’s see if it lasts till morrow.” Gently pushing me out of the rune, he waved me goodbye with a broad grin. “Westwards, go,” he pointed the direction and disappeared.
I had lost the ability to cry, even though I wanted to, and all I could do was mimic it.
While I strode through the field with spread out arms, I touched every flower on my way. I was free after ruining my chances of proper education, but perhaps it was best. I didn’t belong into the Dicheval academy, though I would miss Harriet, Bloum, and Claire.
She was the true victim, not me, and I hoped my request to get her into safety met my expectations. My imagination came up with the image of her brewing tea for Frya. As long as Tonio was far away from her, it would be enough.
When I reached the end of the field, I scanned the area from left to right. The
re was no grimoire in sight, but a trampled path that led to Pelnae.
My ears twitched from the sound of a horse stomping towards me, and I threw myself back into the field. I focused on the quakes of the earth. They slowed down as they drew closer, and I didn’t dare to stick my head out of the flowers, afraid of losing it this time instead of receiving a smack. Veymor had disappeared before I could ask him about my mortality.
Chains clanked when the rider jumped down onto the firm soil and moved in my direction while I crawled away.
The rider’s shadow stretched over me and I hesitated to look back.
“You forgot your bag,” the loveliest voice sang.
I turned around to familiar silver locks.
“What’s your name?” she giggled.
“Verra. Verra of Wolves.”
With a broad grin, she reached out her hand. “Then I am Claire. Claire of Crows. Pleased to meet you.”
THE END
* * *
[1]An athame or athamé is a ceremonial blade, generally with a black handle.
Acknowledgements
Who would’ve thought? Certainly not Felix, my dear sunshine, whom I thank for gifting me a blank notebook two years ago. You made me remember my love for writing.
Further, I’d like to thank:
My closest friend, Diana, for cheering me on 24/7 and for fighting every hater. A true Queen.
Matthew McConkey, Bird Witch, founder of ‘Writers Coven’, for his huge contribution in the editing process.
Sam Turnbull, Crystal Witch, for brainstorming with me during sleepless nights, memeing my work and teaching me neat facts about crystals.
Both Matthew and Sam can be found under ‘Janus Lyons’. Shamelessly promoting your work is the least I can do.
Quinten Eggermont, Druid Witch, for helpful insight and endless motivation.
Alice, @jellymoth, my fellow autistic Witch, for reading and analysing my work with that big heart of yours.
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