The Best Thing for Me

by Lauren Jackson

  "P-pardon?" I stammered.

  "I love you." He replied again. His face was flushed with red, indicating that he was about as nervous as I was feeling right now, if not more. It was so bizarre thinking that he actually felt nervous like me sometimes. I hadn’t expected that.

  Oh. My. Goodness.

  That did not just happen.

  He loves me?

  He said it.

  I know people say it all the time, but this was a big deal for me. Turning, I faced the front stiffly, my palms instantly going sweaty. I rubbed them on my skirt, my breathing becoming heavier.

  This was the part where I said it back, right?

  I know I said I love you to Dad and Mel all the time, but I'd known them my entire life. I still couldn’t get over that he was the one who said it. So soon, may I add. I would have thought I would be the one to spring the ‘L’ word on him in surprise, not the other way around. Thoughts spun around my mind as I grew more and more uncomfortable.

  Just say it. I urged myself. Don't be a coward!

  So I began... But of course, something went wrong.

  I was interrupted.

  "I love-"

  Something caught my eye and I looked out, The words I was about to say temporarily lost from my mind seeing as it felt my heart had stopped. I didn't have time to scream. All I could say was; "Jason."

  It all happened so fast.

  The car slammed into my side.

  It was so strange, my body jerked one way, my head the other. My forehead connected with the window with such force it shattered, raining down beside me, cutting my exposed skin. My head throbbed painfully from the impact and the entire left side of my body erupted in pain.

  "Jason-" I tried to say, but my mouth wasn't working.

  Through all of this, I hadn’t realised that the car had actually flipped, landing on its side. My side. The road met me and my eyelids felt heavy. Panic coursed through my veins as I felt the feeling of claustrophobia rising in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to scream, to squirm, and to do anything that would get me out of this but it was like my brain wasn’t sending messages to my body.

  The glass jabbed into me, cutting my skin. Weird sounds were coming from my mouth but it didn’t feel like it was me. It was like my mind was momentarily trapped in someone else’s body. I couldn't move. I just dangled there in pain. I saw movement to my right in my peripheral vision and seeing that Jason was awake and alive. Relief washed over me, just before black dots danced across my vision. My eyes flickered and it was like they were rolling in the back of my head.

  "Emma!" he cried, grabbing hold of me. Pain shot through the arm he held for some reason, but that was the least of my worries right now. His voice sounded far away, as if he wasn’t in the car with me anymore. I wanted to call out to him and tell him I was okay, but I couldn’t.

  Everything went black.

  21

  My eyes snapped open as my body jerked to the right. I screamed out, the pain was indescribable. I felt like I had died and forcefully been brought back to live.

  "Sorry, sorry!" The voice kept saying over and over. A sob tore from my throat as my body felt it was engulfed with flames of pain. The ground shot away from me as I was lifted and carried away. Jason. It was him. My eyes rolled around eerily in my head as I struggled to keep my vision. I felt like some pet rock with those loopy eyes.

  "Jase-" I tried to say, but my mouth seemed to not want to work.

  "Shh," he said, tears falling down his cheeks.

  Jason was crying!?

  I was slightly hysterical. My chest was rising and falling at a rapid speed, tears pouring down my face. My mouth was hot and sticky. If it wasn’t obvious, I was hyperventilating slightly.

  "I-I-" I tried to say, but I was way too worked up.

  "Shh," He said softly, cradling me. He stroked my hair. "I've called for help. It'll be okay."

  "W-What about t-the other people?" I stammered slowly. I barely understood what I said. I hope he did. I knew what I wanted to say but my body seemed to struggle with delivering the message.

  "What do you mean?"

  "The p-people we h-h-hit!" I slurred.

  "Oh." was all he said.

  "Go."

  "No." he said fiercely, his eyes begging me. "I'm not leaving you."

  "Jason. Go." I said, mustering up my remaining strength.

  He stared at me for a few moments, tears flowing down his face, landing on me, but I barely noticed it. He slowly moved me as I sucked in a breath of pain. Pain throbbed in my arm, my head felt like I'd been smacked with a hammer.

  "I'll be right back. Whatever you do, do not close your eyes."

  My eyelids were heavy. I tried to smile at him, but it didn't work.

  "Don't close your eyes," he repeated before limping away.

  Limping?

  He was injured.

  Well, I guess not many people would go un-injured if a car hit you that hard. My eyelids drooped, I tried to do what he said, but it was so hard.

  I'll just shut my eyes for a few seconds...

  It smelled weird.

  Sort of familiar, but still weird. I felt numb, but also, I felt a small amount of pain in my head and arm. Not as bad as before though. I couldn’t comprehend what had happened. It was a struggle to even breathe properly. What was going on?

  Still, I couldn't open my eyes. I'd been trying what felt like forever, but they seemed to just not obey my command. I seemed to hear what was going on, but I couldn't quite wake myself completely. Is that normal? I wouldn't know...

  I caught glimpses of conversations. I knew Jason, Dad, Mel and Luke were here regularly. Their voices were always floating around in my mind. I kept going in and out of consciousness, or that’s what it felt like anyway. I don’t think I was ever really awake. I was completely lost with time.

  How much had passed?

  Couldn't possibly be days right?

  Slowly, I knew I was coming back. My lips were dry and cracked. Slowly, I moved my tongue, licking my lips. Good, something on my body moved when I asked it too. Wrinkling my nose at the smell, I finally, slowly opened my eyes. My arm was heavy. I glanced down and noticed that it was in a cast. I stared, a little dumbfounded. What would I have done for that to happen?

  My Dad was sprawled out in a chair beside me, Mel and Luke were talking and Jason was staring stonily at the ground, clenching and unclenching his jaw, his fingers clasped together so much that is knuckles were white. His jaw was so tense that I was surprised his teeth had broken yet.

  "Water?" I whispered hoarsely.

  Jason shot up out of his chair, flinging his arms around my neck.

  "Ah!" I cried out in pain and the sudden movement.

  "Sorry!" He exclaimed, retracting his arms. "Oh God!"

  "The name’s Emma," I joked dryly. "Water please."

  "What? Oh. Sure."

  He turned but Mel was already there, with a cup filled with water. She pushed him out of the way, literally. She sat on the edge of my bed.

  "Hey bub," she smiled. "How are you feeling?"

  "Not good." I gave her a small smile. I slowly raised my un-injured arm and took a swig. The water felt so relieving down my throat.

  "Em?" I heard my Dad's voice. It was groggy with sleep.

  "Hey Dad."

  "Oh thank God," he cried, kissing my hand, before kissing my forehead numerous times.

  I tried to smile at him, but I'm not sure if it worked.

  "How long have I been out?"

  "Almost a week."

  "Shoot!"

  Luke rolled his eyes, making his way through the small crowd. "Trust you to not cuss at a time like this."

  "Luke!" I beamed. "Hi."

  "Hey," he laughed, bending down. He gave me a quick, painless squeeze. "Missed havin' ya round'."

  "Of course you did." I said seriously, nodding. I tried not to wince. I think I had whiplash or something. Images of the car hitting us abruptly bombarded my mind. I grimaced,
the memories coming back all too clearly. I wanted to scratch my neck where there was a kind of pain was throbbing.

  "I'm so glad you're awake," Jason said in relief, grinning down at me.

  The other three turned to him, glaring.

  "Why are you ganging up on Jason?" I asked, confused.

  I tried to sit up, but my left arm just dangled limply, not supporting me in any way. It hurt to move it at all. This was really going to become a nuisance.

  "Well he was the one driving the car." Mel pointed out, not taking her eyes from him.

  "Well thank you Captain Obvious," I rolled my eyes. "It wasn't his fault though. They ran into us."

  "Yes it was." My Dad growled.

  Jason's face was pure guilt. "I didn't mean to."

  "What?" I frowned.

  "I ran a red light."

  "Really?" I asked. "Hmm."

  "Not hmm!" Dad snapped, his face turning redder and redder by the second. I thought I could almost see the vein throbbing in his head. "More like he's dead meat!"

  "Don't." I snapped right back. "He didn't purposely run it. How's your ankle?"

  "How did you-" he began but I cut him off.

  "I saw you limping when you pulled me out of the car."

  "Oh. It's better now, was just sprained."

  "How are the other people?"

  "Person," Dad corrected. "And she's fine. Just some bruising and a swollen knee."

  "Ouch."

  "You were the most injured," Mel explained.

  "Of course." I rolled my eyes again. That was painless so I felt the need to do it numerous times. "Just my luck."

  "I'll go get a doctor." Luke suggested, padding out of the room to actually make himself useful for once.

  "Could we have some family time?" Dad asked.

  "Sure." Mel said.

  "Not you, Mel."

  He shot daggers with his eyes at Jason. I saw him flinch under the penetrating gaze. I felt the need to flinch and it wasn’t even directed at me.

  "Jason can stay." I said firmly. "You have no right to kick him out."

  "The hell I do!" Dad yelled, still not facing me.

  "Stop." I said. "You're making me tired."

  His face fell and he collapsed on the chair beside me. "Sorry. Jason. I suppose you can stay."

  Jason gave him a small smile, pulling a chair up on the other side, although most people still would have run from him. Soon after, a doctor entered, Luke trailing behind him.

  "Welcome back, Emma." He smiled warmly at me.

  I just gave him a smile in response.

  "How are you feeling?" he asked.

  "Alright. Could be better."

  He chuckled, his laughter low and deep. "How are your injuries?"

  "Well, my head hurts and my arm does too. But not as bad as before."

  "You're on some medication to help the pain, that's why." He explained. "How's your sight?"

  "The same as it always is."

  "Okay great. Do you remember anything about the accident? Or before that?"

  I frowned, focusing.

  "Well, I don't really remember much when it happened. I just remember seeing a car coming and being carried to the side of the road. Everything is a bit fuzzy after that."

  "Okay," he nodded. "That's not too bad. Can you tell me what day it was?"

  I thought about it. I actually had no idea.

  Wednesday?

  Thursday?

  "Um... Wednesday?"

  He frowned at me. "It was Monday."

  "Oh." Well how was I supposed to know? I’ve been out a fair while apparently.

  "When's your birthday, Emma?"

  "July 22nd." I answered without hesitation.

  "Can you list everyone in this room? Apart from me."

  "Yes. Mel, Luke, Dad, Jason."

  "What's your Dad's name?"

  "Jason."

  He shared a worried look with my father. "No, I mean what's your Dad's name?"

  "Jason..." I trailed off. "Wait no, my boyfriend is Jason."

  "That's right," he nodded, treating me as though I was a little kid. "Can you remember anything about your Dad's name?"

  "J..." I began. "Jack? Josh? Er-..."

  Mel covered her mouth in shock.

  "James!" I grinned in triumph. "James Ross, sorry."

  "Good," he grinned. "That's good."

  "Charlie is doing good too, Emma." Mel smiled. "Mum's looking after him."

  "Animal?" the Doctor asked.

  "Yeah her-"

  "What type of animal is Charlie, Emma?"

  I blanked.

  I don't know.

  "Um."

  "Oh God," Dad muttered, head in his hands.

  Somewhere in the back of my mind, I remembered something about Charlie...

  "He's your dog..." Mel whispered.

  "That's right." I nodded. "My dog."

  "You've obviously got some memory loss, but it's in strange patterns." The doctor said grimly. "I'll have to notify some of my other staff. I'll get back to you."

  "Can I speak with you?" Dad asked. "Alone?"

  "Of course. Step outside please."

  Dad and he left without another word.

  Great.

  Memory loss.

  What the fudge cakes was I going to do?

  22

  I slowly shuffled from my bed, to the kitchen, to the bathroom and back to my bed again.

  This seemed to be my latest routine.

  I'd been out of hospital for a week now. I had a broken left arm, which was heavily wrapped in a fleuro pink cast, with numerous graffiti initials covering it. Two of my left fingers were broken and one of my ribs had cracked, but not broken, thankfully.

  Oh, and also I had brain bruising which had resulted in me being concussed. I was taking a little while off school. I'd had this week off and until I could walk normally without doing my half shuffle-in-pain-thing, I'd return. My memory had seemingly come back. As soon as I saw Charlie, I remembered him instantly. I'd forgotten about some drunken mistake at a party involving Jason and Britney, but I didn't really care anymore. It was the past. I was just happy to be alive.

  I'd received flowers and cards from people who'd never really spoken to me before.

  Isn't it strange, something bad has had to happen before people actually spoke to me?

  Anyway, I'd been vegging out on Nutella and watching Prison Break for the past week. I was completely hooked on it. So all in all, life had been pretty sweet. Well, not that accident of course, but since then it had been pretty good. The medication dulled most of the pain which was awesome, but nights were the worst. Lack of sleep results in a very grumpy Emma.

  Jason came over most afternoons, much to Dad's displeasure. He still blamed him for the accident. Luke had really started spacing off, more than normal. I think it maybe was because I almost died the same way Mum did. It had messed him up pretty bad before, so why wouldn't it be the same again?

  Mel had been coming over more frequently too which was good for him. He seemed like a normal human when she was in his vicinity. She always came with gifts and delicious food, so my days consisted of me waiting for her arrival. Also, cool cosmetics from her Mum as ‘get well’ presents.

  Charlie had been keeping me company though, when both Mel and Jason were at school. He seemed to like Prison Break too, not that he had much of a choice.

  "Hey!" Jason grinned, strolling into my room and planting a kiss on my lips as soon as he was close enough. "How’s the patient today?"

  "The same as I was yesterday." I admitted. "How about you?"

  "Good. I come bearing homework."

  I groaned. "Of course you did."

  He smirked at me. "Just English, so that's not bad."

  "True," I agreed, scooting over so he could snuggle under the blankets too.

  "Aren't you over Prison Break yet?" he laughed, pulling me closer to him. I snuggled into him straight away, entwining our fingers.

  "How could
you say that?" I asked in mock horror. "You just don't understand because you haven't seen it."

  "Sure," he rolled his eyes.

  I frowned, causing him to laugh and ruffle my hair.

  "Jenn gave me this too." he said, handing me a card.

  "Oh, she didn't have too." I smiled.

  His sister was so lovely. The card was beautiful. I made a mental note to thank her whenever I see her next, which hopefully would be soon.

  "Tell her I said thank you."

  "Will do."

  I smiled at him and he flicked my nose.

  "Way to ruin the moment," I grumbled. He chuckled, kissing my forehead. "Anyway. Have I missed much at school?"

  "Not really."

  "I don't want to go back," I said honestly. "I can't be bothered."

  "Don't say that." Jason laughed. "I need you."

  "You were perfectly fine for the five other years without me."

  "That was then." he pointed out.

  I guess a lot really had changed…

  "This is unnecessary." I mumbled with a frown.

  "Don't frown, it'll make me do your eyebrows uneven." Mel snapped.

  I set my mouth in a line, not impressed with the amount she was pampering me. Apparently I ‘needed’ it.

  She had put more blonde highlights in my hair, re-done my nails, waxed my eyebrows and given me a massage. I must admit I actually enjoyed that last part. Too soon though, she left. Charlie took his place at the end of my feet. I grinned at him. He was exhausted. Obviously doing yet again another hard day of sleeping. What a good life he had.

  I curled up yet again on my bed, spoon in my Nutella and completely engaged in Prison Break. Jason came in and sat beside.

  "Hey?" I asked, keeping my eyes glued on the screen.

  "Hey. I'm staying for dinner."

  "Oh cool."

  "Do I get a hello kiss?" he laughed.

  "One sec."

  Suddenly it paused. I turned slowly, feeling the familiar throb of pain. I grimaced. He just grinned, slapping two hands to either side of my face and pecking my lips quickly.

  "You're not going to get in my good books by doing that." A deep voice from my door way said.

  I reeled back, looking at Dad.

  I rolled my eyes, but smiled sheepishly.