Scottlander

by Samantha Liddell

  She said, “Nice to meet you,” as she pulled her hand away and placed it in her lap.

  “Are you a big fan?” I asked her.

  “Well, I hope I am. Otherwise I’m on the wrong tour bus!”

  I laughed a little laugh as if to say ‘Okay, calm down, no need for comments like that.’

  After our little introduction, there was silence for a minute or two until the tour guide jumped to his feet with enthusiasm and joy. He spoke into his head piece as if he was a motivational speaker talking at a conference in front of a thousand listening delegates that were taking in every word.

  He started his speech by saying, “Well, hello fans! Glad you are all here, finally.” As he said the word ‘finally,’ he cast his eyes on to me, which made the rest follow suit. I felt a need to apologise.

  “Yes, I am truly sorry for my late arrival. I do like to make an entrance and all,” and laughed at my little joke that no one else found amusing. ‘Gee, lighten up people,” I thought.

  Anyway, nothing could drag me down today, not even a bus load of miserable tourists.

  The tour guide was named Steve; he was a tall man and was dressed for the occasion. I noticed that he was decked out in a rather traditional outfit, he was wearing what was known as the Gentleman’s Casual Highlander Wear, which included a kilt, kilt pin and hose, a Jacobite shirt, belt and buckle and sporran. He looked very smart and if I was indeed a middle-aged woman, which I’m not, I may have considered him to be my Jamie, the older Jamie of course, not the young Jamie.

  “Anyway,” Steve continued. “I hope you are all ready for a fun and entertaining day full of history and facts.”

  He then took the driver’s seat and we slowly drove out of the bus station towards another world, a world that sucks you in and makes you believe there is more to life. It is a world that will make you do crazy things like book a ticket to Scotland to find yourself your very own Jamie, a world where you eventually find yourself, where you find out who you really are and what makes you, you. If you dare to enter this world of Scottish charm, I guarantee you won’t look back, you will never return to the other side.

  We had been driving for about five minutes, when Steve turned his microphone back on.

  “Right, let’s get this day started!” he announced. He then went on in detail about the route for the day.

  “Our first destination is the Highland village of ‘Cranesmuir,’” he said, this time in a tone that reminded me of a TV game show host, Come on down! Will you take the money or the bag? He continued, after my thoughts rudely interrupted him, in a more matter of fact tone, “Of course, that name is only fictional, its actual name is Culross Village. In the show, the village of ‘Cranesmuir’ was the home of the character ‘Geillis’ and her husband ‘Arthur.’ It is also the same village where you will find ‘Claire’s’ herb garden, and the town square where you know who rescued that young thief who had his ear pinned to the post.”

  His audience responded to that memory with lots of ‘Ooohs,’ ‘Ahhhs’ and ‘Yucks.’

  “During filming, the town was painted more of a dull grey tone to give it more of that Old-World feel. It has now, thankfully, been restored back to its picturesque looks. So, sit back and enjoy the ride to our first destination for the day. I can confidently say you will not be disappointed.” And with that, he turned his microphone back off and continued to drive.

  The passengers on the bus were starting to join in conversation with one another, and there was now a buzz of excitement starting to grow. I leaned over to Amanda and said,

  “I can’t believe this day has come. I have been an Outlander fan for years. I never thought I would ever get to go on one of these tours though, it’s a dream come true.”

  “Same here,” she replied. “I read the first book in 1999 and since then my life has never been the same. I have read every book so many times I have lost count. Same goes for the TV series.”

  At that moment, I realised how I must have made Scott feel when I told him he’s no fan and that I’m a bigger fan than he will ever be, because this is how Amanda is making me feel. Here I was thinking that I was the biggest fan, in the whole world even, but as I heard her speak, and as I looked around the bus, I noticed bigger fans sitting around me. Some were wearing dragonfly pendants, some even wore replicas of the wedding ring that ‘Jamie’ had given to ‘Claire’ on their wedding day, the ring that was made from the key that unlocked the front door of ‘Lallybroch.’ There was one lady, sitting next to her husband, wearing a t-shirt over her long-sleeved thermal that said ‘I’m with this guy till I go through the stones, then all bets are off.’ A printed arrow pointed towards her husband.

  Then there was another lady wearing a shirt featuring a photo of ‘Jamie’ in his kilt, showing off his knees. This shirt said: ‘What more would you want?’ Needless to say, I was staring at this lady’s midriff for a tad too long, which caused her to notice me looking. She must have thought that was a bit weird, as she gave me a strange look. When I noticed that she had noticed, I gave a little wink and said, “My goodness, those are some nice knees!”

  She looked a bit taken aback at first, then when she realised I had said ‘knees’, and that I was actually referring to the knee porn she was displaying in front of me, she gave out a big laugh, as did the rest of the bus, and said, “Thank goodness! Yes, they are a nice pair of knees if I do say so myself.”

  “Aye, that they are, that they are,” I replied.

  Amanda turned to me, and said, “Oh my God Letticia, you Aussies are a strange bunch. Fun, but strange nonetheless.”

  Well, it only took a bit of knee porn as an ice breaker to get the bus load of passengers feeling comfortable with one another. I thought that, really, Steve should have provided an ice breaker at the very start of the tour, then this whole situation would never have taken place. ‘Come on Steve, pick your game up,” I thought.

  We were now almost at the first stop of the tour, and I was surrounded at last with like-minded, if not more than me, Outlander fans. It was going to be a great day; I just knew it.

  So, ‘Cranesmuir’ did indeed live up to my very high expectations. It was an enchanting place that gave me the feeling of having been transported back in time. I was half expecting to see characters emerge from ‘Geillis’s’ house, and ‘Jamie’ to come down the street on the back of his horse to pick ‘Claire’ up and take her back to ‘Castle Leoch.’ Of course, none of this happened, but what did happen was a feeling of contentment settling deep inside me.

  This feeling did not come from the fact that I was on one of the best tours in the world and was looking at houses, props and things with my very own eyes that I had only ever seen on a TV screen. It did not come from being present at the exact same location where the actors playing these amazing characters had once stood. No, this feeling was much bigger than all of that put together, it came from a place deep down inside me.

  I was here! I, Letticia Little from Australia, had followed my dreams, jumped obstacles, made hard decisions and took the leap of faith, and achieved my goal to get to Scotland with two kids in tow. At that moment, I came to the realisation that anything in life is possible. You can have the cake and eat it too. You just need determination, self-confidence and self-worth to believe in yourself and that your dreams, whatever they may be, can and will become a reality. Just like the main character of the show travelled through the stones to get to her dream, I travelled over a huge ocean to get to mine. Her journey was in to the arms of ‘Jamie’, mine was to get to the land of Scotland, and to find myself. And so, I learnt that my journey was not, after all, to find my very own Jamie. It was me that I was chasing; I was on a quest to find myself. The feeling I got when arriving at this knowledge was out of this world, and it was well worth the journey it took to get here.

  I had lost myself somewhere along the way because I had stopped believing in myself, I had stopped chasing my goals. I had let myself be consumed by a man that was not right for m
e, and he had let himself be consumed by a woman who was not right for him. This had resulted in both of us feeling resentful and frustrated with one another, but we still let it go on, we allowed it to suck the life and soul out of us both. I truly believe we loved each other, and to this day, we still love each other, but we are not in love with each other, and in time would not survive the distance.

  And standing here, surrounded by crazy fans, beautiful buildings and blossoming flowers, I knew I was found. Letticia Little and everything that made up Letticia Little, was found.

  I got back onto the bus and took my seat next to Amanda. We gave each other a little welcome back smile. As I sat down, I thought, ‘I got off this bus two hours ago as a lost Letticia searching for her beloved, but returned to my seat as a Letticia who was back in her own body and full of self-worth. I felt lighter, I felt excited, and I felt my mind was clear. My life was now on track; it was all about me and my children. We were the most important people in our lives, and I was going to make sure of that. Only we could make ourselves happy, this fictional character that fulfilled my fantasies couldn’t make us happy, well, he might make me happy for a few hours or so, but in the end, it was only me that could make myself happy.

  I made a little sound of relief as I breathed out loudly. Amanda asked me if everything was okay.

  “Aye,” I said, “I could not be any better.”

  “I totally agree with you, that was an incredible experience,” she said.

  “It was indeed, it was indeed,” I announced. “In more ways than one.”

  “Welcome back on board! How did everyone find our first stop?” There it was again, the Come on down and play to win game show host tone. Steve really was an entertaining character, and I’m sure he would have made a great game show host, but for now he can continue to be employed as a tour guide, he was doing a good job nonetheless. I felt the bus move, and we departed from our first destination. The second destination was now being described over the microphone as Steve drove on.

  “From here Ladies and Gentlemen,” he said with a very Scottish, and sarcastic but friendly tone, “we head on to the 14th century Doune Castle in central Scotland, used for the ‘Castle Leoch’ if you remember? Which I’m sure is a silly question, as I am talking to Outlander fans! But this castle was indeed home to whom, in the story?” he asked.

  My hand went straight up and I answered correctly. I felt like an 'A' grade student for once in my life! Steve then went on, “Sadly, this beautiful location was damaged during that Jacobite rebellion, but is still a sight to see, so be sure to have your cameras, or should I say phones, ready.” A little giggle was heard through the microphone at his own comment.

  “On the way to the castle,’ he added, “we will be visiting the railway station where ‘Frank’ and ‘Claire’ descended from the train, and the location of ‘Captain Jack Randall’s’ stronghold, which is eerily breath taking. We will also stop for lunch while we are at Doune Castle. So, sit back and enjoy the journey. The on-board entertainment is provided by non-other than Bear McCreary!”

  Music started playing through the speakers – The Outlander soundtrack!

  “Nice touch,” I said to Amanda. She nodded in agreement. Steve was indeed picking his game up.

  As we drove towards the castle along a winding road, I noticed the River Teith. It was a beautiful sight indeed, the vibrant beautiful colours of the flowers, plants and bushes that covered the steep banks were a lovely contrast to the dim grey of the Scottish sky. I was so taken aback with its sheer beauty; I didn’t even notice that we had arrived at ‘Castle Leoch.’

  My tour of the castle did not disappoint. I roamed through the domestic quarters which included the splendid Lord’s Hall with its carved oak screens, the musicians’ gallery and double fire place. I even got to touch the stone-featured well, located in the courtyard. As I moved my hands ever so slowly towards the stony well, I must admit the thought did cross my mind, of whether these stones would allow me to travel back in time. Sadly, no such luck, I found myself still in the present time without moving an inch. That was fine though, because I am happy right where I am. Great things are on the horizon now that I have found myself.

  After our second stop came to an end, we all gathered around for lunch. I obviously didn’t get the memo about bringing your own packed lunch, I had just assumed it was provided. With no shops or bakeries nearby, Steve kindly offered me half his sandwich, then told me in a teacher-like tone, “You must read the ticket details Letticia, it has important information on it, as in what time the bus departs in the morning and to bring your own lunch.” “Yes sir, sorry sir.” I found myself saying.

  “Well, next time you will know. Now off you go and sit with your friends.”

  Okay, that was a very awkward moment in my life, but a lesson learnt. From now on Letticia Little will read her tickets. Thanks for the advice tour guide Steve.

  We were now all back on the bus and heading off to our final stop on the tour. I had been looking forward to this stop the most. It was the 15th century castle featured onscreen as ‘Lallybroch,’ my idol’s childhood home. Steve explained how this was private property.

  “Though lucky for all you crazy fans, Steve comes to the rescue! Being on this tour allows you to get close enough to see the castle,” he said in a very dramatic voice. “You will not miss the view of this beautiful location.”

  Amanda turned to me and said, “Oh, VIP treatment. I could get used to this.”

  As we drove towards this location, we had time to fill in, so I decided to have a chat with Amanda.

  “So, Amanda. How did you end up on this tour, what’s your story?” I stole that line from Scott. It was a good way to start a conversation with someone you wanted to get information out of, just as he did with me on the flight over.

  “Well, my son turned 18 a few weeks ago and left the nest. It’s just me at home now. Nobody needs me anymore, well, day in and day out, I mean. I’m sure he will come back to get his washing done and to fill his belly. So, I just decided it was time to do something for myself. For about fifteen years now, I have wanted to travel to Scotland and do one of these tours, but having a young family back then, it was never on the cards. So, here I am today. A lonely New Yorker with no responsibilities has decided to head off to Scotland to follow her dream.”

  Wow, I felt proud of this woman, she was just like me, following her dream. One small difference though, I didn’t wait for my children to leave the nest, I brought them along for the ride too. I asked why she never came sooner and just brought her son with her.

  “Oh no,” she said, “My husband, well, ex-husband now, would never have allowed that.”

  And there we have it, the excuse women all around the world use. If only they just had a bit of self-belief that they could do it. All it takes is a bit of planning, and a few obstacles to overcome, but if they really, really wanted to do it, they could. I believe in them, if only they believed in themselves.

  “Well, Amanda from New York, I’m glad you finally did it. Better late than never I say. I do think you should have come earlier, but that’s just me.”

  We both laughed. I hadn’t really planned to say that last bit, it just sort of came out, she could have taken it totally the wrong way, but she didn’t. She replied, “Yes, I guess you are right.”

  She never did ask me for my story, I’m glad in a way because I was in no mood to retell it, I just wanted to hurry up and see ‘Lallybroch.’

  My mind moved on to my children, I hope they are okay and Sophie is surviving alright on her first day on the job. I decided to give her a quick text.

  Hi Sophie. Just checking in. Is everything ok? How are my two beauties going?

  Five minutes passed, no reply. I guess they are just busy having fun, I assured myself.

  Twelve minutes passed, still no reply. I texted back,

  Sophie, please reply. I’m starting to worry. Beep, beep. At last she replied.

  Hey ya. Yeah, all
good here, actually real good. We are all having a blast, see ya at home later.

  She sounded very cheery, very out of character. ‘Something is up,’ I thought. I texted again,

  Oh, do share. Why are you all having a blast?

  She replied, Life is good, that’s why.

  Ahhh, this is not the Sophie I know.

  I will pick pizza up on the way home. Shouldn’t be too late. I am starving.

  Ok, was the short response.

  The bus came to a stop; at last we were finally here. However, talking to Amanda had made the time go a bit faster, as did the interesting text conversation with Sophie. Something was up, she wasn’t normally so cheerful.

  I looked out the window thinking I would spot ‘Lallybroch,’ but all I saw was a firework factory outlet. Surely ‘Lallybroch’ has not turned into a firework factory.

  Steve came back on to the microphone, “Okay, so no, this isn’t Midhope Castle, also known as ‘Lallybroch.’ The road leading up to it is considered private, and no cars are allowed. So, from here we walk,” he announced. “I hope you all read your ticket information and are wearing suitable walking shoes!”

  As he said this he looked directly at me. I stood up and said, “Yes, I sure do,” and pointed to my new shiny runners. Which was just a coincidence, as I didn’t read the ticket, I had just wanted to wear my new runners.

  “Great! Finally, Letticia has what she needs,” Steve said. “Because I do charge extra for piggy-backs.” He laughed again at his own joke.

  We walked the rest of the distance, which was only a short walk, and a very peaceful one at that. We got to catch a glimpse of ‘Lallybroch,’ but there wasn’t really anything else to see. There were signs located around the place, stating that it was unsafe to enter due to the deteriorating conditions. For all the other crazy fans with me, this was exciting enough, not me though, I was highly pissed off. I thought we would at least get to go inside and look around, but it wasn’t to be. I managed to calm myself down and realised it was actually a very nice view. I took some great photos of the castle and the landscape surrounding it, making sure I didn’t lose the group though, I didn’t want to relive my dream and become lost in the Scottish woodland for two days. Although I was hungry enough to catch a rabbit and cook it on an open fire. I was starting to get light-headed, I was so hungry. Needless to say, when we all returned to the bus and Steve announced that that was the end of the tour, I was happy to head back. All in all, it had been a great day, and I got some amazing photos that I cannot wait to show my girls. Even Sophie might show a slight interest now that she is almost as big a fan as I am. She still has a way to go though.