by K. C. Crowne
“It’s okay, Liam. I’m sure we’re both going to look back on this and laugh.”
“Well, good thing is, you’re laughing now,” I said, cracking a smile. “I’m still too ashamed about how I acted to laugh.”
“Stop feeling bad,” she said as she reached out and touched my arm. Her fingernails grazed my flesh and sent a warm, electrical jolt throughout my body, causing a tightness in my pants. “It’s okay, really.”
I stepped back again, putting even more distance between us. Just to be safe. I sheepishly looked away. “I just feel like once you leave, I dunno, I’m going to miss Alex a bit.”
“Why are you going to miss me?” she asked, tilting her head to the side.
“Feels like I’ve lost a friend, you know?”
“Because I’m a woman instead of a man, we can’t be friends?” She raised an eyebrow, but she was still smiling. There was a teasing tone to her voice.
“I mean, we can be…”
How could I tell her that I found her so incredibly attractive and that simply being around or getting too close was dangerous? I closed my eyes, no longer looking at her because the more I did, the harder I got, and I was afraid it was about to become glaringly obvious that I was turned on.
“Listen, Alex, I appreciate everything you’ve done so much. I hope you know you’re a lifesaver.” I took a few deep breaths and finally opened my eyes to see her reaction.
The look on her face, however, did nothing for the growing problem in my jeans. She was smiling that warm smile and her eyes met mine and… Dammit. I had to adjust myself and take a few steps back. At this rate, I was going to end up in the backyard if I wasn’t careful.
“You said you had to be going. Let me walk you to the door,” I said, moving past her, careful not to brush against her body as I did so. She followed me to the doorway, and I held it open for her, a sinking feeling inside me at the thought of her actually leaving.
But I knew she should. As much as I wanted to bend her over the couch and take her, I knew that would be the biggest mistake ever - for more reasons than one.
Chapter 8
Alex
Liam’s body shifted and my gaze dropped. I didn’t mean to glance at his crotch, but it was impossible not to. My eyes widened as I saw a hint of what he was packing under those tight jeans.
Say goodbye, Alex, I told myself. Say goodbye and walk to your car.
But my feet weren’t having it. They just wouldn’t budge.
Being attracted to a man like Liam was bad news. I knew his type, and our types weren’t compatible. He was loud, into drinking and hitting on women at bars but apparently, that wasn’t all. He was also a caring uncle who took in two kids that needed him even though he didn’t have the first idea about raising them. I scolded myself for making a judgment call on him so quickly at the bar and for holding those judgements even after I saw another side of him.
Still, it was clear he and I wouldn’t be good together. Clear as day. I had a bad habit of rushing into things, like I had with Charlie, and I needed to learn to take things slow, to not lose myself in a relationship. My boys needed my attention, and I couldn’t get distracted every time a handsome man hit on me.
Besides, didn’t Mom always warn me that redheads were trouble?
But my feet didn’t move.
Liam didn’t seem eager to push me out the door either, and from the way he struggled to look at me and had to keep adjusting his pants, it was obvious he was dealing with a lot of the same lustful feelings I was.
“Listen…” I started the sentence with no idea what I was going to say, and the words that ended up coming out of my mouth surprised me. “It’s clear we’re both, well, horny. I don’t know about you, but it’s been a while for me and, well, I have needs and all…”
“Are you asking if I’d like to…” he trailed off.
I nodded, biting my lip as I met his gaze. My cheeks burned, and instantly I regretted the proposition. But dang it, my vibrator wasn’t really cutting it these days. I missed the touch of a man, the feeling of him inside me, above me, his lips pressed against mine. And Liam was easily the sexiest man I’d ever met in real life. It felt like something I’d regret if I didn’t at least try it once.
“So, this would be, like, a one-time only thing?” he asked.
I thought about the question for a moment. “Maybe. Though it doesn’t have to be.” I watched his eyes widen, and once again, he started backing away from me like I might catch on fire or something. I quickly added. “Not in, like, a relationship sort of way - but a friend’s with benefits sort of way.”
“Oh.” He stared at me for a long second, his eyes moving over my body, soaking me in. “And you’re okay with that?”
In that moment? “Yes. Absolutely.” Because my panties were ready to melt right off me, and I needed a release. I needed to be touched.
“I have kids. I don’t have time to date anymore,” I told him. “I don’t want to date. But I have needs, you know, and clearly so do you, so I figure why not?”
Before I could finish what I was saying, he moved closer to me and pressed those lips to mine. His beard scratched against my face, and I realized I’d never kissed a man with a beard before. I was in my mid-thirties and had never kissed a man with a beard.
Of course, I’d only kissed a handful of men prior to this since I’d rushed into a relationship with Charlie.
All of it felt so new to me, adding to the excitement. The warmth inside me grew as my legs weakened.
Thankfully, Liam was there to catch me, wrapping those big, strong arms around me. He lifted me off my feet and pressed me against the wall, his body practically becoming one with mine. I could feel his excitement through his jeans, and I wanted those damned things off.
His lips were softer than I expected, and after they were finished with my mouth, they moved down to my neck, kissing and sucking.
“So you’re okay with this?” I muttered, my voice barely a whisper.
“Does it seem like I’m opposed to the idea?” His voice was gruff, his breath warm against my ear.
I giggled, wrapping my legs around him. I sucked in a sharp breath as his hands groped my breasts, brushing gently against my nipple.
“We need to get these clothes off,” I whimpered. “Now.”
“Yes, I’ve waited too damned long already,” he growled.
I had no idea how long he’d been waiting. Since we first met at the bar? Since the library? Since I walked in the door? For some reason, the idea of him wanting me for days on end turned me on even more. Had he touched himself while thinking of me after I turned him down at the bar?
Imagining him stroking his cock with thoughts of me in his head… I groaned and clenched my legs tighter around him.
He carried me up the stairs as if I weighed nothing at all, and in his arms, I felt so safe. So secure.
We reached the top of the landing and he turned left. I noticed that he kicked closed a baby gate as we walked past, latching it in place before going any further. Liam being a thoughtful and caring father figure was one of the things that attracted me to him the most and seeing that small act made me re-think everything. What if I got attached? It was so easy to get attached to someone like him; he seemed too good to be true.
One night. Just one night of fun, Alex. You’re allowed to do that. If things get too messy, you can walk away.
But would I? That was a very good question.
Liam carried me into his bedroom and laid me down on the bed. He went back to shut the door, locking it securely before coming back to.
“Undress, please,” I begged him.
He shot me a coy grin before ripping off his t-shirt. My eyes nearly bulged out of my head at the sight of him shirtless. Ripped abs and tight muscles decorated with tattoos… Oh my. He was a sight to behold. Like something you’d see in an underwear ad, not in person. I was practically drooling as he pulled off his belt and tossed it to the floor.
As much
as I wanted him inside me, I was enjoying the show. I sat up on the edge of the bed and watched every movement, crossing my legs when the heat between them got to be too much for me.
He undid his pants, letting them fall to the floor. His boxer briefs were tight against his body, outlining the thick member underneath. He approached me in nothing but his underwear, and I couldn’t resist grabbing the band and pulling them down his hips.
His cock popped out, hard and ready. I wrapped my hands around his thickness, almost to make sure it was real. I stared up at him and began stroking him, watching as his eyes rolled back into his head.
He let out a low gasp. “Jesus. Stop right there or I’m gonna finish before we even get started.”
As hard as it was, I pulled my hands away, but not before I let my lips press against the salty tip. Another low gasp, and then hands on the back of my head gently guiding me away from him.
“It’s your turn to get naked now,” he demanded.
He pulled me up to standing, lifting the sweatshirt off over my head and tossing it to the side. I was grateful for not wearing any other layers except for my bra, which he was able to remove in one fell swoop. He unclasped it, and my breasts fell forward, free from the cups as he tossed that aside as well.
He bent at the waist, taking one of my nipples between his lips. My knees felt like Jell-o and I threw my head back, biting my lip so hard I feared I would make it bleed.
He teased and played with my nipples, sucking and licking and driving me utterly insane. “Please, Liam!” I begged. I didn’t even know what I was asking for, but I needed more. I had an ache deep inside me that was growing by the minute.
A feeling of emptiness hummed in my most private parts and I needed to be filled by him. Thankfully, my yoga pants were easy to remove. Liam slipped them off me, and I stepped out of them, losing my panties in the process as well.
And then we collapsed onto the bed, with him hovering above me, staring deep into my eyes.
I wrapped my legs around him, arching upward as he rubbed his thickness against my opening. His tip teased me, and I’d had enough of the waiting. I thrust upward just as he thrust down, piercing me with his cock and burying it deep.
I buried my head between his shoulder and neck, trying to drown out the cries coming from me. I had to be quiet, even though the girls were down the hall and separated by several rooms. I still didn’t want to wake them.
Liam remained sheathed inside me for a moment, as if letting our bodies get used to one another, or perhaps he was worried about coming too soon. Either way, I appreciated the sensation of just being filled with him. After almost a year of no sex whatsoever, this was exactly what I needed. Consequences be damned. I’d deal with the emotional fallout later.
I just wanted to feel good.
Slowly, he started rocking back and forth. I met each thrust by arching upward, wanting to feel him as deeply as humanly possible.
“Yes, yes,” I whimpered, the heat inside me building like a volcano ready to explain. “Oh God, Liam, I’m close.”
He kissed my lips, his tongue sliding into my mouth as if to silence the screams. His timing was perfect, as I came around his cock, my pussy spasming and constricting, as if trying to milk him. I felt the muscles in his arms tighten as if to brace himself. Still, his mouth never left mine as I writhed underneath him, wave after wave of pleasure rushing over me in quick succession.
As my orgasm died, Liam grunted, “Roll over.”
He pulled out of me, and with the help of his hands, I rolled over onto my belly with my butt in the air. He grabbed my hips and pulled me back to meet him before thrusting into me.
He got so much deeper in this position. I thought I was going to lose my mind and come again as soon as he started pounding into me. And from the way he was breathing, I thought he might also. Shallow, ragged, desperate breaths and grunts with each thrust. The feeling of his fingers digging into my flesh, the need I could feel with each plunge as if he was trying to possess me… I lost it and had to bury my face into the bed as I came again, my knees almost giving out from the pleasure. Liam held me up, or else I would have fallen flat. And when the orgasm subsided, I was too weak to remain in that position, and Liam sensed it.
He gently helped me onto my back again, hovering above me once more. And when he buried himself inside me, I knew he was close. The gentle thrusting before was gone; each time he buried himself inside me was hard and fast and deep. The muscles in his arms constricted and his brow furrowed as if he was in deep concentration.
It was only a matter of minutes, and then he would explode inside me.
And I realized just how badly I needed it, wanted it.
I wanted to watch his face as he came, feel his throbbing member inside me.
I squeezed my Kegel muscles tightly, clenching and unclenching to match his thrusts. His head fell forward and he muttered, “Jesus…” I was doing it; I was pushing him over the edge.
His eyes were clenched shut as he buried himself deep inside me. I lifted my body up to meet his, wrapping my legs around him. My nails dug into his flesh and my pussy tightened around him. Watching the pleasure wash over his face and feeling his pulsing cock inside me brought me to orgasm again, and I was unable to control the screams threatening to escape from my lips. I had no choice but to bury my face in his neck again, my teeth biting down on his flesh as my body quaked in intense pleasure.
I don’t know how long we stayed like that - maybe seconds, maybe hours. Time seemed to have no meaning whatsoever, and I didn’t know where my body began and his ended. We came together and remained connected, his cock sheathed inside me, until finally, he slipped free.
My entire body was shaking as if it was in shock. Honestly, I probably was in shock. I had no idea sex could feel that good. Hell, I never knew anything could feel that amazing before in my life.
Liam laid down beside me, wrapping his arms around me. I rested my head on his chest, tracing a shamrock tattoo with my fingers.
And all I could think was - we can’t do this again.
No, sex that good is dangerous. It brought with it emotions and attachments and everything I was trying desperately to avoid. My body must have tensed up against Liam’s because he looked down at me and asked, “What’s wrong?”
I sighed, not wanting the moment to end. But I knew I had to be honest with him. It was only fair.
“I don’t think we can do this again.”
“Oh yeah?” he asked, his voice hoarse.
It was hard to pull myself away, but I sat up in the bed. I placed my feet on the floor and slipped from his embrace.
“Yeah, I know I said that we could try a friend’s with benefits thing, but I don’t know what I was thinking. I can’t really do that. I don’t think I’m made for that.”
He was quiet as I slipped my yoga pants back on. I tried to ignore the warm feeling between my legs and dripping onto my thighs. I couldn’t get pregnant, at least that wasn’t a concern. It was still careless to not use a condom, and I mentally scolded myself for it.
I couldn’t look at Liam as I finished getting dressed. He stayed naked in his bed, not speaking. As I walked toward the door, he jumped from the bed, grabbing a pair of basketball shorts off a hook on the bathroom door.
“Let me at least walk you out,” he said.
“Thank you, but you don’t have to.”
“It’s the least I can do.”
He walked out of the room and down the stairs, then opened the front door for me. He really meant it when he said he would walk me out. He didn’t just walk me to the door and send me on my way - he walked me all the way to my car.
As I fumbled for my keys, I tried to think of something I could say.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly as I pushed the button to unlock my car doors.
“Sorry for what?”
“For not being who you thought I was.”
Though that wasn’t the whole story. I was sorry I couldn’t be someo
ne who could randomly hook up, and in a large part, I was sorry to myself for that. Because I deserved sex that good, and not just once in a lifetime. I couldn’t believe I was walking away from it, saying never again.
I turned toward Liam before getting into the car. He offered a friendly smile that reminded me why I couldn’t do this again. My heart practically leaped from my chest because of that one look.
“You don’t need to be sorry for anything, Alex. I’m sorry I was wrong, but I’m not sorry it was you that showed up at my door tonight. I will never, ever be sorry about that.”
I had to get in the car before I did something stupid - like kiss him goodbye. I waved as I started the engine and drove out of the driveway.
Rachel would probably ask what took me so long, and as much as I wanted to share the details with my best friend, I couldn’t.
If I breathed a word of this to her, she would want me to give Liam a chance, and I knew myself well enough to know that that was a terrible idea.
Chapter 9
Liam
I don’t think I fell asleep. I tossed and turned, replaying the tryst with Alex over and over in my head. Why did I sleep with her? Why had I let it get that far?
I’d really lost her as a friend, I scolded myself. Good going, Liam.
I stared up at the ceiling, no longer even trying to fall asleep as the early morning sunlight filtered through the blinds. The girls were still asleep. Which was good because I still wasn’t over what had happened.
Every time I tried to close my eyes, there she was.
I’d slept with many, many women in my thirty-four years on this planet, and I couldn’t recall a single one that made me feel the way Alex did. Everything about her was just so perfect, and the feeling of her body against mine just felt right.
Even though she was everything I wasn’t.