Rebecca's Rules

by Anna Carey

  ‘A triumph, my dears, an absolute triumph,’ she said. And then, to all our surprise, not least Ellie’s, she looked at Ellie and said, ‘Especially you, Eleanor. You did an excellent job. Thank you very much.’

  So she must really have appreciated Ellie being her slave after all. Even though she never did figure out her real name.

  The audience really seemed to enjoy the show. When we were actually on stage under the bright lights it was quite hard to see everyone out there, like when we played the Battle of the Bands, but I was still able to see none other than Bernard the Fairytale Prince right up in the front row. I almost felt bad for wondering if Karen had been making up their crazy relationship because he certainly does seem devoted. I was watching from the wings and he stood up and applauded like mad when she and Wiktoria did their song about wanting a nanny. In fact, at the end he even threw a bouquet of roses up on the stage for her! She went bright red and then beamed back at him and she looked so properly happy and not sneery that for a minute I didn’t even hate her.

  Also, I noticed Alison and Caroline were there too, but they were applauding normally like ordinary people, not devoted worshipers. And they didn’t stand up like Bernard the Fairytale Prince did. Not even at the very end, when quite a few people stood up. I think Caroline and Alison might really have discovered their independence. There is no going back for them now.

  Mum and Dad seemed to enjoy the show too, though not enough to throw giant bouquets at their daughter. And so did Daisy.

  ‘You were brilliant, Bex,’ said Dad. ‘Even better than our Pirates of Penzance.’

  Which, coming from him, was praise indeed.

  ‘You really were’ said Mum. ‘All of you. That was some excellent acting during “Feed the Birds” from you and Alice.’

  ‘We’ve been practising for ages,’ I said modestly.

  ‘You were great,’ said Daisy. She laughed. ‘I’ll have to write that review for the Times now!’ she joked.

  ‘I KNEW IT,’ said a crazed voice.

  It was Vanessa! I hadn’t noticed she was nearby. She practically grabbed Daisy, who was so stunned she just froze.

  ‘Did you get my invitation?’ said Vanessa.

  ‘Oh,’ said Daisy. ‘Um, yes, the paper sent it on to me, but that’s not why …’

  But before she had finished the sentence, Vanessa cried, ‘I knew you’d come! I can’t wait to see what you write about us!’ She batted her eyelashes again. I don’t know how she does it. ‘Please, be kind. I’ll look out for your review.’ And she strutted off to the tea and biscuits.

  She can look all she likes, there’s never going to be a review. I hope she doesn’t start harassing poor Daisy about it. I think Daisy was worried as well.

  ‘She does know I was joking when I told you I’d write the review, doesn’t she?’ she said nervously.

  ‘Oh, I’m sure she does,’ I said, but I was only saying it to cheer her up. I bet Vanessa will be going through the paper for days, waiting for her write-up. It is actually quite a comfort to know that she is doomed to disappointment. Alice’s parents weren’t disappointed with Bike Boy, though. He totally charmed them. He even said ‘Guten Abend!’ to Alice’s mother (Alice said later that this is practically all the German he knows, but it shows his good intentions and Alice’s mother loved it), and her parents told him he should call out to their house next week so Alice needn’t have worried at all.

  Anyway, eventually I went home with my parents in a sort of daze. I thought I’d be too excited to sleep, but actually I was so exhausted by all the madness I fell asleep straight away. But now it’s all a bit weird. When I woke up this morning I forgot what had happened for a second and then I remembered everything: John letting everyone down and then Jane saving the day and the show going well. I’ve been waiting to feel all heartbroken about the John thing, but it hasn’t happened.

  Instead, now I keep remembering more stuff, like the way he told me to learn the guitar because drums weren’t girly enough. And how he acted like Cass had been picking a fight just because she disagreed with him. And how he told me I shouldn’t write funny stories because they weren’t proper books. And all the ‘ooh, we can’t label our relationship’ stuff.

  Oh my God, my phone is ringing. It’s him.

  LATER

  Well, if I had any doubt that I did the right thing marching out yesterday I don’t anymore. I almost didn’t answer the phone, but I knew I had to talk to him eventually so I did.

  ‘Rafferty!’ he said. ‘I came second! Which isn’t quite as well as I hoped, obviously, but I was the youngest winner and the judge said I was really promising. You do understand why I had to go down there, don’t you?’

  Unbelievable!

  ‘No, actually, I don’t,’ I said crossly.

  ‘Oh, come on,’ he said, sounding cross too. ‘I was just going to tell you I forgive you for stomping off yesterday morning because I know it was a shock, but if you’re going to act like a child …’

  ‘I’m not acting like a child,’ I said. ‘I’m acting like someone who’s tired because they were in a show last night. Which went brilliantly, by the way, no thanks to you. Thanks for NOT ASKING ABOUT IT, THOUGH.’

  I may have yelled that last bit.

  ‘Oh,’ said John. ‘So, um, how did it go?’

  ‘Brilliantly,’ I said. ‘Like I just said. My friend Jane played your part. And she was better than you.’

  ‘I find that very hard to believe,’ said John smugly. And that was it. I knew I didn’t want to have anything to do with him anymore.

  ‘John,’ I said. ‘I think … we should …’ And I didn’t know what to say next. But then I remembered a scene from one of my mother’s terrible books in which a heroine breaks up with a selfish boyfriend. And so I said, ‘I don’t think we should see each other anymore. It’s not me, it’s you.’

  ‘Wow, Rafferty, don’t take everything so seriously,’ said John, which was a bit rich coming from him. He couldn’t take himself more seriously if he tried.

  Anyway, this enraged me even more. ‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t have said we were seeing each other at all. I forgot we weren’t actually “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” because you don’t like labels. Well, then you probably won’t even notice I’m gone. Goodbye!’

  And I hung up.

  I felt a bit shaky for a second and like I might burst into tears. But I didn’t. I felt the way you do when you get off a rollercoaster − shaky but exhilarated as well. I rang Alice and told her what had happened.

  ‘You have done the right thing,’ she said seriously. ‘But are you okay?’

  I thought for a second.

  ‘I actually am,’ I said. ‘It’s weird; it’s like a weight has gone off my shoulders.’

  And it really is.

  Of course, I am still a bit freaked out. And I am still a bit stressed about the last show. Who knows if we can pull off our triumph for a second time? I am a bit worried Vanessa will let her first night go to her head and start improvising new songs, or something (I wouldn’t put it past her, seriously). Today felt like it was going on forever. Which I suppose is why I found myself going in to Rachel and telling her all about John. And how I had basically dumped him. And why.

  ‘Well,’ she said, when I’d finished ranting. ‘If it’s any consolation, I think you did the right thing. I mean, would you be friends with a girl who didn’t listen to you and tried to persuade you that the things you liked were rubbish? Even if she was an interesting person?”

  ‘Um, no, of course not,’ I said.

  ‘Well, then,’ said Rachel. She looked at me. ‘Come on, I’ll make you my special hot chocolate as a reward.’

  Rachel’s special hot chocolate is a wondrous thing. She puts cream and cinnamon and God knows what else in there and it tastes delicious. She won’t tell anyone the secret of its success and she only makes it for other people on special occasions (the last time she made it for me was when Paperboy
went to Canada). Anyway, it is very soothing and I feel a lot better now. Better than I have in ages. Which is good because now I’ve got to go to school for the very last show. Yikes.

  SUNDAY

  It’s all over. I am very, very tired now because I was up really late last night, and I’m going down to Cass’s house to continue our celebrations this afternoon, but I have to document our triumph.

  Because we did it again!

  I was still nervous when we were all backstage getting our make-up done and changing into our costumes. Ms Byrne and Cathy were walking around saying encouraging things.

  ‘Come on, girls,’ said Cathy. ‘You can do it one more time. Channel the spirit of Mary Poppins!’

  But there were a few moments at the start when it kind of seemed like we weren’t channelling very much and it wasn’t going to go well. Jane stumbled over her words in one scene, which threw Vanessa off her game, and for a few lines it was like seeing arrogant Vanessa herself on stage, not nice, sweet Mary Poppins. But as the scenes went on, it all started to come together (the chorus were excellent as usual, of course).

  And Sam was even better than last night. It was like all his fear had gone. Actually, I got chatting to him during the interval − we both went to collect cartons of juice at the same time. I’d never really talked to him before, but it turns out he’s actually not that shy and nervous when you talk to him properly.

  ‘Thank God for your friend Jane,’ he said. ‘I had the fear that I was going to have to do John’s stuff. The thought of putting on that bowler hat was giving me nightmares. I even did a comic about it.’

  So it turns out the reason Sam was covered in ink is because he does comics. He showed me one on his phone and it was really cool − the pictures were great and the story looked funny. It was about a boy and a girl who are friends and do silly stuff and solve crimes.

  ‘I do them with my friend Lucy who goes to Mary’s,’ he said. ‘She writes and I draw.’

  It kind of made me want to do a comic myself. Maybe that could be my next artistic endeavour?

  When it was over, lots of us went out to talk to people in the audience. Cass’s parents were there, along with her brother Nick and her guest of honour Liz. It was actually really nice to see Liz again. I feel bad about being jealous of her. When me and Cass came out, she ran over and gave Cass a huge hug, and then she hugged me too.

  ‘I can’t wait to play with Hey Dollface again!’ she said enthusiastically. I was just about to say I couldn’t wait for the band to start up again when I saw a terrifying sight over Liz’s shoulder.

  It was Mrs Harrington. I tried to sneak away while Cass stood in front of me acting as a human shield, but she saw me.

  ‘Rebecca, love!’ she cried, beaming at me. Next to her was a surprisingly normal-looking man.

  ‘This is my husband Gerard,’ she said. ‘We’re both very excited about meeting your mammy!’

  ‘Hi, Rebecca!’ said Gerard.

  ‘I’m really sorry, Mrs Harrington,’ I said, ‘but there was a … a last minute change of plan and she had to go last night instead.’

  Mrs Harrington looked really disappointed. So did her husband. I felt more guilty than ever. Which is the only explanation I can think of for what I did next. ‘It was a writing emergency,’ I said. ‘She’s … she’s in the middle of a book and she had to meet with her editor. And to apologise to you both, she says she’ll name a character in the book after you!’

  I don’t know what came over me. One minute I am making rules to behave better, the next I am telling insane, barefaced lies to my own teachers!

  On the plus side, it did cheer Mrs and Mr Harrington up. They looked very happy as they left. But I don’t think that this is a good thing. I have a feeling I will never hear the end of this. Oh dear.

  Anyway, I forgot about Mrs Harrington when I went backstage because Ms Byrne and Cathy had a surprise for us.

  ‘To say thank you for all your hard work,’ said Cathy, and she smiled and didn’t look intimidating or serious at all. They’d ordered a big feast of pizza and fizzy drinks and posh little cakes. It was a surprise after-show party! Someone put music on and people started dancing. Then Vanessa and Karen started singing along, but it was actually quite funny rather than annoying. Especially when Bike Boy and Sam joined in. It was brilliant. Maybe I was in some sort of post-show haze of love for humanity because not even the sight of Karen draped all over Bernard the Fairytale Prince (who had come both nights, he really is devoted) could dampen my mood. We were all really giddy.

  ‘Don’t eat too much,’ said Ms Byrne. ‘I don’t want any of you getting sick. Don’t forget, it’s back to normal life on Monday.’

  It didn’t feel like normal life until the party was finally over. But then, suddenly, it did. We found ourselves packing up the costumes and throwing pizza boxes and Coke cans into bin bags.

  ‘Everything’s going to be pretty dull now, isn’t it?’ said Ellie sadly, shoving some plastic cups into the bin bag.

  ‘Yeah,’ I said, picking up my coat. ‘I suppose it will.’

  And then my positive mood from the afternoon started to ebb away. I mean, Paperboy was gone forever. Now John was gone too. Not that this is a bad thing. I mean, what sort of boyfriend refuses to hold hands with you in public? AND criticises your mum? It’s okay for me to do it, obviously. But not him.

  But still, for weeks everything had been exciting. We’d had the show to look forward to. Something new was happening every day. I was all excited about John. And now it was all over. Everything. And it had been so much fun. It had made me cheer up and stick to my rules. I was starting to worry that I would accidentally go back to my old mopey state as Cass, Alice and I walked slowly through the corridor on our way to the car park, where our parents were waiting for us.

  ‘I can’t help feeling – and this is totally not a mope, I’m not breaking my rule,’ I said. ‘But I can’t help feeling that there’s nothing to look forward to now. I mean, the show is over. We’ll be back to our boring old lives on Monday. And then what’ll we do?’

  And I sighed. I couldn’t help it. It had been a very long couple of days. And now everything was starting to feel so flat.

  ‘But,’ said Alice, ‘my wrist is nearly better.’ And she lifted up her cast and waved it about. ‘This will be off in a week!’

  ‘And once it is,’ said Cass, ‘we can finally organise that gig with Bad Monkey. Liz talked to a place in town that will let us do an under-eighteens gig on a Saturday afternoon. We just have to pick a date.’

  ‘Oh,’ I said.

  ‘And once we’ve played one gig, we can play another one,’ said Alice. ‘Richard says we should all band together, us and Bad Monkey and the Wicked Ways, and put on lots of afternoon shows and, like, get a little music scene going. So we can look forward to that. And then we can try and record something! Richard says he’ll show us how to do it. He has all the right software and he says it’s quite easy really.’

  ‘And we can write lots of new songs,’ said Cass. ‘Just think what you’ll be able to write about John! You can write about him poncing about in that coat. And having tantrums like a little baby.’

  ‘Ooh, yes,’ said Alice.

  It’s true, I can. And in fairness to John, selfish baby he may be, but since I met him I really have started writing more. Think of all my poems! I bet I’ll be able to write better songs than ever now. And I suppose I’ll always be grateful to John for encouraging me to write stories again. I’m not going to stop now.

  ‘I suppose,’ I said, ‘there’s quite a lot to look forward to after all.’

  ‘Exactly!’ said Cass. ‘Lots of stuff. Gigs! And songs! And then it’ll be the summer and we can do loads of mad things! And, I dunno. At some stage, you might even meet someone who stays in the same country AND isn’t an evil selfish traitor. I mean, we’re nearly fifteen! Anything can happen!’

  I suppose she’s right. In fact, I know she’s right. Because if the last few
months have taught me anything, it’s that even when things seem boring and you feel like nothing good will ever happen again, something cool and fun and interesting and exciting always turns up eventually.

  It’s like a rule.

  THE END

  About the Author

  Anna Carey is a freelance journalist from Drumcondra in Dublin who has written for the Irish Times, Irish Independent and many other publications. Anna joined her first band when she was fifteen and went on to sing and play with several bands over the next fifteen years.

  Her last band, El Diablo, released two albums and toured all over the country. The Real Rebecca was her first book, published in 2011, starring our heroine, and went on to win the Senior Children’s Book prize at the Irish Book Awards. Readers haven’t stopped asking for the next book.

  Copyright

  This eBook edition first published 2012 by The O’Brien Press Ltd,

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  eBook ISBN: 978-1-84717-536-6

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  The O’Brien Press Ltd.

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