The Life, Death and Life of Amelia Hollow

by Edward James Bowman

  ***

  Chorst’s body jolted as he was reanimated. He had so much he wanted to do and say, but the guards held him firmly down on the ground. Wisely, the trinard chose not to speak.

  “Boy… you better have an excellent reason for arriving here in Mel’s ship.” The thinner of the two soldiers said.

  “Mel gave us access.” Chorst said simply.

  The two soldiers looked at one another. Had they missed the other person who had been on the ship? “Who’s the ‘us’?” The buffer one asked. She really hopped that the trinard just had multiple personalities and that the companion had not escaped.

  “Dub First Off Am.” The pale boy replied. “She is currently on a non-USM spaceship disguised as a comet which she needs to be rescued from.”

  “Ease up.” Frek said to the two soldiers as he strode across hangar five. “That kid’s telling the truth… for the most part.”

  Chorst did not understand. He was positive that he was telling the truth. He felt that if somebody did not take Mel’s ship back towards the comet then something bad would happen to me.

  Frek looked up to the silver ship. It was truly a beautiful sight to behold. True perfection. If he had the balls and had an impending fate, then he would certainly try and take the thing for a joyride. All USM personnel wanted to fly the elegant ship. The thought of the ship did not last long. His mind was heavy with other thoughts.

  “Leave us.” He told the two marines. Of course, they left in haste. Nobody wanted to mess with a high-ranking assassin like Frek.

  “I need permission to fly the spaceship again.” Chorst said as he tried to stand. That was when the harsnic noticed the boy was missing a portion of his left arm. “Which means I need connection to Am’s wrist computer. That is the device that she used to control the ship automatically.”

  Frek sighed. Mel had just told him the good and bad news. The universe had been saved… but I was long gone.

  “The comet you are talking about just burned up seconds ago when it got close to a star. It’s gone.” He said coldly. There was no point in remodelling the truth when it came to speaking with trinards. They just wanted the facts with no equivocation.

  Chorst stared blankly at his science teacher. He questioned how he knew it. Then again, high-ranking officials like Frek got to know that sort of information. He recalled that I had even told him that Frek would know why I was hopping onto a comet.

  “She committed suicide.” The pale boy stated.

  “More or less sacrificed herself than committed suicide.” Frek replied defensively.

  “Explain why she sacrificed herself.”

  He shook his head. “Not at the moment. All you need to be aware of is that she just saved the universe… and there are some people we need to tell about it.”

  Frek was almost glad that Chorst could not express emotion. The boy was probably confused and hurting, but he appeared as bland as always. The harsnic himself was feeling solemn. He had known my sacrifice was imminent for a long time, yet that did not mean he was as emotionally prepared for it as he wanted to be. He thought of Sven. Chorst would have to tell him the bad news because the Swede would refuse to take it from him. He had lied to him about I was going when I originally left and Sven would never forgive him.

  “Are you alright?” Frek asked as they walked down the corridor to hangar four. “Physically, I mean.” He gestured to the trinard’s missing hand.

  “Yes.” He replied, almost dreamily as if his mind was on other things.

  Mentally, Chorst was in shock. Not exactly sad, more or less surprised by my abrupt ending that apparently save the universe. He felt no real remorse about the death of my physical body. A physical death never affected trinard unless it also involved a spiritual death. That was why he had no trouble killing Nis. The golden boy had already died in his mind. The pale boy was trying to conclude exactly when my spirit died. He predicted that a part of it had died the day I stared into the space time continuum and since that point it had slowly been decaying. – He was right even if he did not know it.

  Whilst Chorst contemplated the death of my soul, the remaining cadets, Sven and Cacey were all busy with their own thoughts.

  Frek had told my father, Cacey and the cadets to go into the shuttles, yet the battle was over so were now hanging out in the hangar. Now that the heat was off and their adrenaline had depleted, they could finally be emotional. Donn just sat on the ground crying with Henn trying to comfort him. Zand was the only one who did not reveal her emotions. She did not even have the face to reveal them. As a captain, she felt it was her duty to stay strong for everyone else. Not even Veck shared this philosophy. She did not cry, her species never did, but the look on her face was utterly solemn.

  Sven, although sad and fearful for his daughter’s life, was more intrigued by the woman walking down the ramp of the MCIAA spaceship. When he first met the harsnic woman a long time ago her ruby red dress had clung tightly to her body-glove and had a long cut that went up to her thigh. Nothing had been left to the imagination when it came to her body. This was a different woman meeting him today. Although harsnics physically aged slower than humans, she had aged mentally. Her dress was no longer tight and revealing. She now wore a red harsnic stola that seemed more mature and suiting for her role as an ambassador and MCIAA representative. One thing had not changed though; her wild red hair was still out and wavy. Only one of her dark grey eyes could be seen while the other was hidden by her peek-a-boo hairstyle. Despite the fact Sven had matured as well, a boyish smile briefly spread across his face that said ‘I tapped that’.

  Cameron, who was across the hangar with hanging out with the marines, was just as surprised to see his mother. Never in his life did he think he would see both his parents in the same place. When he was a small child he always wanted his parents to be together because he thought that people who had children together were also in love. For harsnics couples, it was months of planning before they concluded whether or not they wanted a child. And even if they wanted a naturally conceived child, it would require much effort as harsnic males had a slightly different anatomy to human males which meant it was difficult for them to… never mind. The point is that Della had never intended to have a child and had not realized that Sven’s body was different and that her risk of getting pregnant was higher with him. Della had never directly told Cameron that he was conceived by accident and even, for a brief amount of time, unwanted. He had to realize it on his own which lead him to learn why his parents were not in love. But even now, he liked seeing his mother and father together. Maybe not as lovers, but they certainly shared a connection seeing as they parented the same child. He had a warm feeling in his heart that made him smile and start jogging towards his parents.

  “Long time no see.” Sven said cheerfully while the cadets around him cried.

  Cacey looked back and forth between Della and Sven. Obviously, it was the mother of his son. His real question was if they were in a relationship.

  Della did the one armed hug that Sven knew so well. She was in great spirits despite the gravity of the situation. Providing that Cameron was okay she really could not care less about what happened to anyone else.

  “What are ya doing here?” Sven asked even though he already knew the answer. He just wanted to hear it from her because she knew she would want to brag about how she was the leading Hashtish Alliance MCIAA representative.

  “Well… when I heard that my two boys were in trouble I decided to pop-in and check up on them.” She said, her German accent exactly how he remembered it.

  My father wondered who the second boy was, and then he realized she was referring to him. It was strange how close they were despite the fact Della had kept him separated from his son for so long. Despite his sadness, he understood Della’s thinking. It was not because she hated Sven, she had thought she was doing what was best for Cameron by separating him from the second-class realm.

  “No. I’m here to help with the aldoren
slave clone asylum conditions,” Della poked Cacey’s nose playfully. The blue boy leaned backward, looking bewildered, “and I’m here to help you with the official procedure to get back to Earth and then I’ll give you a lift home.”

  “Sounds like a plan.” Sven sighed when he realized how much bureaucratic crap he was going to have to deal with. “But first, I’ve gotta wait for Amelia to get back.” Della cocked her head to one side questioningly. “She’s here on the station, but our dear old friend, Frek sent her to go do some mission. I’m not leaving until she’s back.”

  “Understood.” Della nodded.

  Cacey hid behind Sven, clutching my father’s arm shyly, with a little smile on his face. The Swede had not lied; he was going to get help. Maybe even get to live on a pretty planet. The reassuring smile on Dell’s face gave him hope that the USM would not euthanize him. He was lucky that it was the Hashtish Alliance representative coming to aid him, because other MCIAA representatives looked far less kind and more bureaucratic.

  Sven and Della looked to the side when they noticed Cameron standing there. Della could not tell who it was at first due to the helm, yet her mother instincts quickly alerted her that it was her son.

  It was quite a shock to Della and Sven when they realized that this was the first time the three of them had all been together. Dell and Cam considered the family to be complete, but Sven felt there was still one piece of the puzzle missing: his daughter.

  What inconvenient timing. Frek and Chorst walked in just as Dell was patting her son on the shoulder. All the cadets, who were not distracted like Sven, wondered where I was. They were all ready to go back to Starside Academy.

  Veck sighed as the harsnic and trinard strode towards them. She and the others knew it was going to be strange going back to Starside. They could not just go back to their normal routines and pretend nothing ever happened. Cadets were dead now, and the rest wore permanent scars. The scars were metaphorical, except in Chorst’s case.

  “Your arm! What happened to your arm?” Nor squeaked. She jumped off the ground and leapt over to the pale boy.

  Sven then looked away from Della and noticed the pair that had walked over. When he saw that I was not with them his eyes darted to Frek. The harsnic was relieved his eyes were hidden by his helm. This next part wasn’t going to be easy… which is why he had left it to Chorst. He looked to the far end of the hangar. Mel was there talking with the higher ranking officers. She probably knew he was looking at her, but did not even acknowledge him. Frek had been surprised when Mel had killed Tamarax instead of me. He had always been told I would be the one to kill Tam. Then again… Mel enjoyed being an enigma to the harsnic.

  “What happened?” Zand asked Chorst when the boy shunned Nor.

  “Am and I flew out to a ship disguised as a spaceship.” Chorst fully had Sven’s attention. “I tried to stop her from boarding the ship, however she stunned me. Frek just informed me that the spaceship she boarded just burnt up near a star.” He said impassively.

  You could have heard a pin drop in the silence. Had Chorst really just said that? You can imagine how confused and shocked everyone was, but then there was my father. He only looked moderately intrigued… almost angry.

  “I beg your pardon?” Sven asked, now looking at Frek. He did not trust the young trinard.

  “Am completed her mission.” Frek said, unable to lie. “She… saved the universe.”

  My father did not care about the universe: “Yes… but where’s my daughter?”

  “Dad.” Cam said, although he did not know what to say after that. Della and him exchanged a look.

  “She burnt up when the spaceship got too close to a star.” Chorst said bluntly.

  “No.” Donn shook his head and continued to sob.

  My father was thinking the same thing. “No… she didn’t.” He shook his head. “She told me she was going to be right back.”

  “There is no possible way she survived.” The trinard stated, not realizing that he was breaking my father’s spirit.

  Sven had a Schrödinger’s cat philosophy. If he had not seen me die, then how could I be dead? The situation felt surreal to him. He felt as if he was leading the life of another version of himself in a parallel universe. His daughter was not dead in his own universe. This was a dream… it had to be. He tried to think of any explanation to prove that his daughter was not dead. How could I be?

  He put his hands on the trinard’s shoulders, not aggressively. Cameron, Della, Cacey and the cadets watched from a short distance away. They even felt that this situation did not feel right. I had just walked away from them a few minutes ago and just abruptly died ‘saving the universe’. Saving the universe from what? Why did I have to save the universe at all?

  “No.” Sven told Chorst. “S-she isn’t dead. S-she promised that she’d be right back. M-my daughter wouldn’t…” He slowly dropped to his knees quivering. “She wouldn’t l-lie to me. She wouldn’t do that.”

  “Sven.” Frek began, but the Swede gave him such a hateful look that he quickly went silent.

  “Your daughter sacrificed herself to save the universe from a threat we will never fully comprehend.” A low, calm voice said.

  Sven didn’t look up, but everyone else did. Mel had finally joined them.

  “My condolences, Sven.” She continued un-heartedly. “You may never understand the cause of her death, but you need to understand that she made a heroic sacrifice which will not be forgotten.”

  Sven was not crying. He was just staring blankly at the floor at Chorst’s feet. Shock had kicked-in. He could not understand how his child was dead. He had not prepared for this.

  “On the shuttle, now.” Frek commanded of the cadets. None of them moved instantly, save Chorst. Zand practically had to carry Donn as he broke down in hysterical sobbing.

  “You’ve done well, Chorst.” The harsnic said. The trinard ignored him as he got on the shuttle.

  Mel gave Frek the nod for him to depart. It was now his job to comfort the cadets and get them back to Starside safely.

  “I’m so sorry.” He said solemnly as he slowly walked away. Sven did not even acknowledge the harsnic. He just continued to sit alone on the floor quivering.

  Cameron was not sure whether to move or not. Mel had him frozen in his place. He too felt sad about the dead of his sister, but the USM trained their personnel to overpower their emotions with rationality. Della felt the same sorrow although she had never once met me. She knew how important I was to Sven.

  The aldoren jumped when a hand was put on his shoulder. He turned to see a harsnic dressed in the typical black and red MCIAA security officer uniform. His eyes changed from solemn to fearful. Was he in trouble?

  “Sorry to disturb,” he whispered, “but we’ve got to get you registered.”

  “But Sven is sad.”

  The harsnic cocked an eyebrow. He had no idea who Sven was. Then he figured it was probably the sad sack on the ground up ahead.

  Cacey decided not to make a scene that would distract from this sad time. He left quietly with the harsnic security officer. While walking up the ramp to the ship, he looked back once at Sven. How he wished he could’ve said goodbye. Even though my father was getting a ride home on the same ship, Cacey doubted they would see each other again. Sven would be sitting with Della in the lounge while he was on one of the lower decks being registered.

  “We will prepare you a ride back to Earth…” Mel said to Sven as she watched the shuttle with all the cadets and Frek on it flew up to the Titonic.

  “We will take him, ma’am.” Della said, gesturing to the MCIAA ship.

  “Understood.” The bandaged woman replied. Without another word, she strode away from the awkward scene. Now there was no one in range that could explain why I had died.

  As soon the woman was a good few metres away, Della and Cameron raced to my fallen father. Cam was a little surprised to see that Sven was not crying. He was still in great shock and the tears would come la
ter. Probably for the best; Cameron did not want his father to be humiliated by crying in front of marines. Sure, his daughter was dead, but the marines were ruthless on second-class citizens. They had even been pointing and laughing when Donn was in tears.

  Cam supported his father’s weight as they walked to ship. Della tried to help as well. Sven was acting like a lifeless corpse; unable to move his legs properly. The walk was silent. Neither harsnic knew what to say.

  Surprisingly, out of the three, Della was the most confused. She had only just arrived when the news of my death came to them. She did not even understand how Tamarax Station had been found by me in the first place. I do not recall ever directly speaking to Dell. After all, she had only on very rare occasions spoken to my father via holographic chat sessions. And in those cases, she had usually just walked in to discover Cam sneakily chatting to his father and then she would tell Sven and Cameron off.

  “Cap Gor?” Cam tapped his wrist computer.

  “Yes, En Cam?” The jolly overgrown mantis replied.

  “Do I have permission to assist in escorting Sven back to planet Earth? I will be back aboard the Titonic within the day.”

  Gor was silent for a moment as he thought. He was not aware that Cameron wanted to deal with his grieving father. All he knew was that Cam had a lot of work to do when he got back. Plus First Off Tek wanted to have a chat with him…

  “I do not see why the MCIAA would need assistance in escorting Sven back to Earth.” Gor said honestly.

  Cam sighed. “My sister just died. I am requesting today off for family matters.”

  ‘Family matters’ were not an excuse for taking a leave in the USM, however Gor was going to give in this situation. He was aware that I had to have died literally within the hour seeing as the Titonic had come to Tamarax Station because of moi. Of course he had to give the brother of the hero a day off to console his grieving father after the hero’s abrupt death; Gor would have to be a jerk not to.

  “I expect you to be in your regeneration chamber at the thirtieth hour mark.”

  “Understood.” Cam replied. The Hashtish Alliance MCIAA spaceship was fast so he did not have to worry about time.

  “Drace?” Della asked after typing on her wrist computer. Everyone who worked in the USM had a standard wrist computer, but the harsnic had taken her computer a step further. Hers had a gold covering that made it look more like a piece of jewellery. It was the same for her earpiece, but nobody knew that due to her hair covering it. Ambassadors got away with that sort of thing because they were not forced to wear any kind of USM uniform.

  “Yeah?” Drace replied via earpiece from the cockpit of the ship.

  “I’m sending the coordinates for our first stop, then we go back to Starside.”

  “Yes ma’am.”

  Sven was so distressed that he did not even noticed Cacey standing on the other side of the Plexiglas. The little blue boy ran to the window when he saw my father and got no response. He and the two harsnics just continued toward the elevator. One of the harsnic MCIAA officers in the room with him requested that Cacey return to his seat. They still had to get all of the boy’s general information. Then it got into why he needed asylum, previous crimes he had committed and his relationship to Tamarax and her station. And that was only the first part of the form-filling. Up next he had to go to Starside where the MCIAA and the USM would come to a conclusion on his fate. – The poor boy. All he wanted was to feel safe.

  The Hashtish Alliance had the largest of the MCIAA spaceship which was not large by USM standards. Only three floors with the capacity of an Earthling supermarket. The first two floors were for the asylum seekers with the registration offices, temporary beds and the medical area. The third floor was primarily for the Hashtish Alliance MCIAA representatives. Della, like the other high-ranking representatives, had their own little apartment aboard the ship. Their job often required them to be away from their actual homes for long periods of time so Della had made it her third home. Her first home was on Hashtish 4 while her second was at Starside. Truly a busy woman. She had only become the primary MCIAA representative after Cam was born which meant that he had only had ever call two places home instead of three. The constant commuting had been difficult on him as a youngster. Like all harsnic children with travelling parents, his schooling had been done through correspondence. That was probably why he had such a lonesome childhood. He was surrounded by adults all the time and rarely saw children his own age.

  Sven was in a daze. The harsnics were on each side of him on the dark grey sofa. He had not been like this since the death of his brother. After Frank died Sven was silent at first, but then once realization set in, he would prefer isolation so he could cry alone.

  “I’m so sorry, dad.” Cameron said. He really was not sure what else to say.

  “Where…” Sven choked on his sentence. He knew that as soon as he opened his mouth he would start sobbing… and he did. “Where’s the bathroom?” My father asked in one breath before he went back to sobbing.

  “At the end of this floor.” Della said while pointing. “I’ll take you if you wa–”

  Nope. Sven was sprinting down the hall. Cameron felt hesitant about leaving his father alone when he was so unstable. Suicide was a galactic problem and to the harsnic, Sven seemed at that state.

  “He just needs a moment to himself.” His mother reassured him, squeezing his shoulder. “He’s a clever boy. He wouldn’t do anything like that.”

  She had read his mind. Cam just looked at his mother, he felt like crying himself. Partly because of my death, and partly because he hated seeing his father so sad.

  “How do you know?”

  “He’s got you to live for.” She said with a reassuring smile.

  The boy shook his head. “I’m not enough.”

  “Of course you are.”

  “No. Amelia was his real child.”

  “You’re his real son.” She gently stroked away one of his tears with the back of her hand. “Never doubt his love for you.”

  “We’ve only met twice in real life. All the holographic calls we had weren’t enough. He had a connection to Amelia which he could never have with me, mum.”

  A burst of regret suddenly hit the harsnic woman. Even with all the calls they shared –which she had originally condemned– Cameron still felt like he was not a real child to Sven. There was a lack of connection between the two and Della knew it was her fault. Now, with Sven having lost one child, she did not want him to lose another.

  “I’ll go check on him.” She kissed her son on the forehead before standing up.

  Cameron did not say anything. He just wiped a rogue tear from his eye. Looking at him, Della was happy she had a child. She was glad it was Sven’s child as well. Thinking back, she could not imagine what life would have been like if she had given Cameron up before or after birth. Life for her simply would not have worked without him. That was how Sven felt about me. Della knew he would be deeply saddened if it had been Cameron instead of me, but it still would have been different because the death would have had less of a physical impact on his daily life. Sven had been sad when I left originally for Starside Academy because the mansion felt empty. Now, his life felt empty. His life was hollow, you could almost say. Della wanted to fill that emptiness. She felt obliged to.

  Cautiously, she knocked the door. At first there was no reply which worried her. She listed the items in the bathroom. There was nothing poisonous or dangerous in there that Sven could hurt himself with. She knew that much. But if somebody wanted a way out of life, they would find a way. Della hopped Sven had no started searching just yet.

  No. He opened the door. He would not do that sort of thing publically. He did not want to ruin other people’s lives by taking his own. If he killed himself, there and then, Cameron –and possibly Della– would have been permanently scarred. They would both feel guilt because they would feel that they failed to save him. Or in Cameron’s case: that he wasn’t enough
to save him. Sven was miserable, but he would never ruin the lives of others for his own relief.

  My father’s eyes were red and puffy even though he was not crying anymore. He tended to cry in short bursts instead of letting it all out at once.

  “You’re going to be okay.” She whispered while hugging him.

  He was unresponsive to the hug. He was busy thinking about the fact he would never see his daughter again.

  “When you get back to Earth… I want you to pack your things.” She said.

  “Why?”

  “Because we’re likely going to give your little aldoren friend asylum on Hashtish 4, and I think we can make some arrangements for you as well. You probably won’t fit the criteria for an asylum seeker, but you should make a fine citizen.”

  Sven shook his head. “Seconders don’t get to do that. We don’t get to leave our systems.”

  “Darling,” Della ran her fingers through his hair harmlessly, “I don’t think you are going to be a second-class citizen for much longer.”

  Sven gave her a questioning look. So she continued. “Your daughter saved the universe. Mel said so herself. You honestly think humans will be seen as second-class after today? I bet that right now they’re already planning the proposition to bump Earth up to a first-class planet.”

  My father looked surprised. He had not considered that, yet he was sure Della was right. Then his brief moment of hopefulness faded and he went grim again. “I don’t think moving planet would do much for me.” He said coldly.

  “What about starting a new life?” She asked with a small smile. “I think Cacey would like to have somebody visiting him at the asylum… and I think our son would like to be able to visit both of his parents during his days off work.”

  Our son. Sven thought. As he recalled, Della had always referred to Cam as her son. She wanted him to be closer to Cam, he knew that. She could never repay him for all the years she had kept him separate from his child, but at least she was trying now.

  My father did not say anything. He didn’t have to. Della smiled when he hugged her back. If all went well, they would start the next chapter in their relationship. Not as lovers, or rivals for Cameron, but as friends who shared a child.

  34: Hall of Heroes

  The USM had a tradition of preserving the memory of their heroes in holographic monuments. The so-called ‘USM Hall of Heroes’ was located directly at the centre of Starside. Like an art museum; the halls were white while the ceiling was incredibly high. It was so silent that every footstep could be heard. USM personnel considered it the heart of Starside. You had to accomplish great things to make it into the hall. Personnel aimed to get their name in the hall. Few would, but the glorious hall was worth working towards.

  Over two months had passed since my death. Now, the other cadets and I who had died at the battle of Tamarax Station were getting our place in history. Not just because we had died in the battle (and died saving the universe in my case), but because we were the first second-class citizens to get a spot in the Hall of Heroes. Well… all of our species used to be second class. It was a shame that some of us has had not lived to see all the second-class species represented at Starside Academy be upgraded to first-class.

  A lot had changed in a couple of months. The places left by the dead cadets had been replaced by a mixture of first and second-class cadets. Now our grade was not only the first grade to be made up of second-class cadets at Starside Academy, it was the first grade to have a mixture of first and second-class species. The USM’s discriminative attitudes were shifting. Soon, even third-class citizens would be able to take part in the USM.

  The USM was not the only thing that was shifting. The United States of America had dealt with some major changes. American blew itself apart in the most recent civil war. At first it appeared that the Right Wingers had won the remains of the country… and then China swooped in to pick up the pieces… and ultimately take over the country. My father had left the planet just as this terrible civil war began. He left Geraldine almost all of his money, but took some now that all the currency on Earth had been exchanged for USM credits. My father only took enough money to get by on; he knew Geraldine would need the rest because he was not fit to get a job. The last thing Sven heard about his ex-husband was that Geraldine had fled America. He was not sure where he moved seeing as he never used his plane ticket back to Jamaica, however he figured he would be fine.

  Sven felt strange as he walked around the ‘Hall of Heroes’. He knew where my monument was, but he was not quite ready to look at it. He was currently looking at Nis’s. The holographic monument showed the golden boy skipping along or jumping up and down while squealing silently. He remembered Nis although he had only seen the boy once alive. A very tragic death, but he was a hero for his people.

  The Swede jumped when two arms wrapped themselves around him from behind. He turned back and looked down at little aldoren. His husband, but not in eyes of the USM. Cacey was still third-class which meant he could not legally get married to Sven. However, this did not stop the couple from having a harsnic-style wedding on Hashtish 4. The blue boy legally was not allowed to leave the asylum either, but security generally turned a blind eye when Sven gave him a piggy-back ride out of the gates. Even though it had only been just over two months, Sven was away so often working with Della at the MCIAA that when he did return to Hashtish 4, he had to savour every moment with his husband. Sven was not happy about being separated from his new husband for such long amounts of time, yet he had found that constantly working had really helped with his depression.

  “I remember him.” Cacey said while smiling. Not because of the monument, but because this was the first time he had been off-planet since he had been moved into the asylum. Trust me; you don’t know how much form-filling my father had to do just to get the aldoren off the planet for a single day.

  The aldoren’s scars across his eye remained although he could see well. The Hashtish Alliance asylum nurses had offered him cosmetic treatment to get rid of the scars, yet he chose to leave them. It was nice to think that he looked different from all the other clones from the same set as him.

  “Poor kid.” Sven said solemnly before turning around entirely.

  My father smiled a little bit when he looked at his family. Cacey was there and so were Della and Cameron. Although he knew that he got to see them all the time, it was nice to have them there to see my monument with him.

  “You ready?” Cameron Vis Homen asked kindly, but he also short on time. His new job as lieutenant of tactics meant his presence on the Titonic was required more. Who thought that after punching First Off Tek he would end up getting promoted?

  My father just nodded and followed Cam and Dell through the hallways towards my monument. Cacey was practically glued to him as they walked. My father had still not figured out why Cacey was so clingy. Maybe that was just how his species was or maybe it was a security thing. Sven knew that after thirty years with Tamarax, the boy feared the dark. Nurses had informed the Swede that the aldoren did not sleep well when he was away. That was probably a contributing factor in why they let the blue boy go back to Sven’s place whenever he returned to Hashtish 4: they knew my father would protect his husband from the nightmares.

  Not much was said as they all walked. Things still were not back to normal for everyone, especially my father. He still looked youthful due to anti-aging cosmetics, yet his eyes made him look tired and older. Cacey, most of all, noticed this because he had aged internally as well. Both men were dealing with forms of depression. Luckily, in the USM there were plenty of treatment options for depression. My father did not often like having his mind tampered with. Sven found that just keeping himself occupied with work was helping. Sadly, while in asylum Cacey could not hold a proper job like his husband which meant he was just on regular medication. On paper, these men seemed to lead very tragic lives, but they had each other.

  My holographic monument hardly depicted what I used to be li
ke. The hologram either had me standing with my arms crossed looking annoyed, or fighting an invisible enemy with a sadistic smile on my face. Okay, maybe it was an accurate depiction of who I used to be. In fact, the hologram had been adapted from security footage at Starside Academy. However, the only thing that really made my monument worthwhile was where it was placed. It was in a circular room with only the most respected heroes of the USM. I guess saving the universe gets you a spot like that. The hologram next to mine was of some guy called Darnek Vess: the first USM Naval captain in history. On my other side was Shell: the Destin-Hey monk who scribed the rules of space and time. She was one of the few in the Hall of Heroes that was not a fighter. She was there because of her literacy.

  Sven did not like the hologram. It was still too soon after my death for him to praise it. What disturbed him about it was that my hologram seemed so lifelike.

  “A bit of a fighter, wasn’t she?” Della said warmly as she watched the hologram fight ghosts.

  “Yeah.” Sven said quietly with a small smile.

  He took a step back. It was strange making eye contact with a ghost. My father honestly felt like I was looking back at him. It was not right, and he didn’t want to stare at a ghost any longer.

  “Anybody feel like trying the new Starbucks over in the ambassador food court?” He asked with the clap of his hands, signifying he was done.

  Yes people, the day Earth became recognized as a first-class planet was the same day eighteen Starbucks opened at Starside alone. Aliens, especially the ambassadors who had too much free time, enjoyed the morning tradition of running to get a morning coffee and muffin. Humans had always discussed globalization… now they discussed galacticlization.

  “Sounds good.” Della replied. She was surprised how little time it had taken for Sven to examine his daughter’s holographic monument. Then again, maybe that was because he had to move on with his life without me or he would be swallowed by the sadness.

  Sven did look back as he walked away with Della, Cacey and Cameron. He had felt my holographic eyes staring into his back as he left. Because the monument was so convincing, he almost felt as if he should have waved goodbye. He didn’t, of course, because he did not want to look insane. My father just smiled at my holographic image and then looked forward again.

  35: An Explanation

  For those of you who are looking forward to the afterlife: Trust me, it’s not that great. It’s… nothing. The easiest way to describe it would be that it is just never-ending whiteness. I could not hear or feel anything. I was not even sure if I properly existed.

  Wait. False alarm. I was not in the afterlife at all. I was in a place without time or space. The 4th dimension? Who knows? I’m not sure how long I was there for. Maybe milliseconds or maybe billions of years. There was no way to tell.

  I would have shuddered if I had had a body. There was a loud screaming noise that came from every direction. It seemed to last forever even though it probably only lasted for a second.

  There is no real way to explain what happened next: I just felt like I was expanding… very rapidly. I was exploding, and out of me came space and time. The dawn of the universe. Black space filled the whiteness. The shrieking sound continued, but now it was less frantic and more like a simple ringing noise.

  I witnessed it all: every moment in time. The beginning and end of everything. I even witnessed my own life from birth to death. Even Chorst’s life passed before my eyes. His tragic birth due to the death of his mother, his lonely childhood as his father was always away at Starside, and his years in the USM. I saw his death as well, but chose to quickly forget it like I did with my father’s.

  My mind travelled back to reality when I felt my body being dragged towards an incredibly large mass. There were no stars in the sky yet, only fiery explosions as the universe tried to create itself. It was terrifying to watch. It made you wonder how the universe ever settled down.

  Apparently not everything was exploding. What I was being drawn towards was a planet that already had gravity and an atmosphere. From what I could see it was not a habitable planet. The ocean was made of molten rock.

  This is gonna hurt. I thought as fell. Then various thoughts popped into my head. How was I still alive? I was in space without any protection. And if I was alive, then how did I not feel any pain? You know those dreams you have where you do all these crazy stunts but don’t feel a thing? It was like that except something told me that this was not a dream. Surreal, but not a dream. My ability to see was the least of my thoughts despite the fact Tak had blinded me.

  Wind rushed past me as I fell through the sky toward the lava planet. I was going so fast that I was going to hit this planet like a meteorite. In normal situations I would have burnt up in the atmosphere which meant I would only make it to the planet’s surface in pieces, however there was nothing normal about anything that had happened to me in a while.

  I wished I could have passed out when before I hit the planet because it was a terrifying. With a BANG I made a large crater in the black surface of the planet. Fully conscious, I watched as the lava slowly seeped down the crater and towards moi. I was not too afraid. Nothing else had killed me so the lava was not a threat. Right now the only threat was my own mind.

  Blood hit the smouldering surface when I sneezed. There was a lot of blood which did not stop flowing after my single little sneeze. Not just my blood, my brain was going coming out of my nose as well. You could say I was feeling a little lighted-head after I lost my brain. Yes, it was nasty to the point that I wanted to vomit. Great, now I had a burnt body and I was missing my brain. How was still alive?

  I’m not alive. I thought, despite the fact I had no brain to think it. Well… no organic brain. My mind was energy, 4th dimensional energy for that matter. I could store so much more knowledge. It was like upgrading from a computer from the 1980s to a computer from the 2080s. It was great to have this mind, but it did not matter now that I was being submerged in lava. I tried to swim in the molten rock, yet my body was still numb. There was no pain as the lava overcame me. Turning my rigid neck, I looked at the sky one last time before the molten rock completely swallowed me. The sky was as red as the fiery planet below it. It reminded me of how the sky looked on Earth looked at dawn. – It was beautiful.

  A long time passed before the lava around moi hardened. I impassively thought about how I would be stuck there forever. It would take millions of years for civilizations to develop in the new universe. Maybe someday they would find my rotten burnt body, yet I doubted that would happen because I would be buried so deep in the planet.

  This sucks. I thought.

  Did time pass? How much time? Everything was a blur for a long time. After so much darkness I recalled seeing light. Real light. Possibly some blurry figures as well. Despite the fact I did not sleep, I do not recall what happened next. Maybe I closed my eyes. The light was too much for me to handle after so long.

  In the blink of an eye I came-to. There was no bright light like before. I was in a dark space that had a small amount of light. As my vision cleared I managed to make out that I was looking at a ceiling. I was in a little room. As dark as it was, I could see the strange pictures on the walls. I could read them even though my translator had burnt up a long time ago.

  I sat up instantly. The room from my dream. I thought, looking around. Everything matched the dream I had had so long ago. It had not been a dream, it had been a vision my future.

  There was a clicking noise as the door on one side of the room closed. Somebody had just left. Who? Wait… I know who it was. I know everything. It had just been a simple Destin-Hey nurse called, Vil who had been sent to cover my ruined body in…

  Looking down, I gasped. I knew everything, yet I had not seen this coming.

  My body, from head to toe was wrapped up in grey bandages. Even my head was covered, only leaving two small slits in the wrapping so I could see. To a human, I have looked like an Egyptian mummy… To anyone in the USM I lo
oked like the most powerful woman in the galaxy.

  You would not believe how fast I jumped to my feet. This had to be a dream. Not a dream, a nightmare. There was no possible way that it could be me!

  I considered hunting down that Vil girl and murdering her for playing a practical joke on moi, but then I felt a hand running down my back. No, not a hand. It was the end of a white curtain.

  The curtains that defied gravity reached out, trying to pull me outside. On the other side of them stood a figure. That is when I forgot about Vil. The creature on the other side of the curtains was far more important.

  A booming noise shook the whole building furiously. Unlike in the dream, I did not fall. Ignoring the vibrations, I walked forward. The light curtains clung to my body as I walked through them, blocking my view of what was on the other side till the bitter end. Oh, and what a bitter end it was.

  I cannot say I was surprised when the figured turned out to be a giant 4th dimensional heron, because I am sure normal people expect to see huge super birds when they walk out onto a deck.

  “So…” I nearly jumped at the sound of my own voice. It had been such a long time since I had heard myself speak that I had forgotten what I sounded like. “Here we are.”

  Indeed. Tak replied, not taking her eyes off the chaos out in front of us.

  “This was always the plan.” I leaned on the rail and looked down below, and then up above. “You always intended for me to travel back through time and become… this.” I gestured to my bandaged body. “Tamarax, the tear in the space time continuum, the comet, everything. It was all part of your elaborate game.”

  I would not call it an ‘elaborate’ game.

  I ignored her. “I’m not going to become her… ya know. I’m not going to be Mel.”

  You say that now.

  A long silence followed. I knew I was lying to myself. Even now, Mel was taking over my body. My own true mind was slipping away. I had so little time.

  “So… I’m an immortal.”

  Any living body that passes through the 4th dimension is automatically unaffected by time and space. Your body is permanently the way it was when you passed through the 4th dimension. Your scars will never heal, yet you can never be wounded again.

  “Yippee.” I muttered sarcastically. “I’m hungry. What do these Hey-monks eat?”

  No you’re not. You will never need to eat again.

  “You’re 4th dimensional… and you ate that Feb guy.”

  I did that so you could find his hand, and then Chorst would wake you up to research Feb and Tam would not capture you.

  “Ah, right.” I nodded along, a bit disgusted that Feb became fodder just so I could be woken up by Chorst.

  “I created the universe.” I pondered aloud.

  No, you did not. You just ‘sparked’ the explosion.

  “Meh, same thing.” I thought for a moment. “So everyone was… will be wrong then?”

  Wrong about what? Tak asked although she knew the question

  “On Earth there is… will be this magical thing called religion. Everyone has different theories about the universe and things of that nature. So if I’m the God then they’re all wrong about everything… ever.”

  You’re not God.

  “Yes I am. I’m a fucking immortal that ‘sparked’ the universe.”

  Yes… but nobody prays to you.

  “True.” I agreed. “So are any of the higher beings from myth on my planet actually real?”

  It was strange I was asking Tak questions. I knew everything about the universe, including the answers to all my questions. I guess it was instinct to ask questions. Tak understood this, and played along.

  Most of the gods from your planet are real… in their own way.

  “Eh?”

  Tak said no more. I just had to access the information in my head and I would know the answer.

  “Yowza.” I scoffed when I realized the answer. “Imagine trying to tell the humans that. So many wars over religion… so many goddamned wars.”

  You’re going to find a lot of planets with that problem.

  “So in the Milky Way is there a single true religion?”

  Yes… Scientology.

  Both of us chuckled. Even the 4th dimensional being found Scientology to be funny. I’m sorry if you are a Scientologist reading this, but c’mon.

  “So you were the voice at the back of my mind, but who’s the second voice?” I asked.

  Your 4th dimensional mind can move through time even if your body cannot. The voice of who you are to be has been speaking to you. Tak explained. Soon you will be Mel, and then you will be the voice at the back of her mind.

  “That ain’t gonna happen.” I snarled. “That biatch isn’t getting out.”

  Time will change your mind. A voice said, and it was not Tak’s.

  The golden rail bent as I tightened my fists around them. I hated Mel even if she was me.

  Turning around, I looked up at the tip of the pyramid we were currently standing on the deck of. This did not look exactly like an ancient Egyptian pyramid. The exterior was made of black, smooth rocks. The people of Destin-Hey had built these many pyramids within days. The universe was still young and chaotic so they had to hastily build large buildings to protect themselves from the sky that rained fire.

  “We’re going to take a trip to Egypt. Aren’t we?” I asked Tak.

  Egypt will not exist for billions of years.

  “But when it does we’ll go pay them a visit.”

  You sparked the universe and now you get to spark various civilizations. Egypt is one of the few million places you will visit.

  I’m going to get to watch Earth grow. I could alter history: “Can I kill Hitler?”

  Your job is to maintain history, not change it.

  “I didn’t hear a ‘no’.”

  By that time you will have encountered so many horrible people, yourself included, that killing Hitler will seem pointless to you.

  I did not like how Tak seemed so sure that I would change. I tried to tell her that, but when I turned back she was gone. I knew I would see her again. As ‘Mel’ she would be my right-hand bird.

  “I’ll never be her.” I told myself.

  Never.